Chapter Seventeen Breaking it up

“How did it go?” Mindy asked Christina when she stepped into their apartment very late that night.

“Badly,” Christina said as she dropped her keys, bag, and shoes in the entryway. She came into the living room and threw herself into Mindy’s recliner. “I hate everyone,” Christina said expressionlessly, even though that wasn’t how she was feeling.

“Well, I warned you,” Mindy said, shrugging in her more-experienced-than-you manner. She leaned forward and asked, “So, what’s the verdict? Do you get Mark, like you wanted?”

“I’m not sure I want him anymore. Did I tell you that he got offered a job in London?”

“No,” Mindy gasped. “Bloody Hell! Is that what this is about? You were trying to get him to stay?”

“Not exactly. I was trying to get him to like me properly, but you were right about that, too. He’s never going to like me the way I want him to. Now I'm so confused about who I am, I’m not sure I can salvage things with Mark even if he doesn't go anywhere.”

“You might not be able to,” Mindy conceded. “Loads of relationships fail.”

“I just thought he was so intelligent, so good looking and so everything I ever wanted in a guy that I couldn’t stand for him to only like me half-way. What is it about stupid men that make them lose their minds over girls like you or Tina?”

“I am NOT like Tina,” Mindy snapped, getting up and coming over to Christina. “I am not like you when I work as an escort.”

“But you’re the one who taught me to be like that!”

“Right, but that’s because I knew that style would work for you. You come off like an innocent little girl who is discovering love for the first time because, Christina, that’s what you are! In case you hadn’t clued in, that’s why you are such a good choice for your company’s ad campaign. And that’s why it works so well for Mark to be your partner for it—because it’s all real. Except now you’re discovering that love can be a brat, too.” Mindy paused and took a deep breath. “And that is why I’m not like you. I already know. I was a little girl once too, but I’ve been disappointed too many times to look innocent.”

Christina frowned. What Mindy was saying made a lot of sense. A lot more sense than she would have liked. If it was true, then she wouldn’t be able to make a success of the job Dominic offered her, even if she wanted to take it, because that would require someone good at modeling. Or at least it required someone who actually wanted to be a model, which she didn't.

“All right,” Christina admitted, putting a weary hand to her forehead. “What can I do to cope with this?”

Mindy settled down a little and dropped herself back down onto the couch. “I guess that all depends on how badly things went. Did you break up with him?”

“No.”

“Did he break up with you?”

“No,” Christina said, feeling a little better. At least things hadn’t deteriorated that far.

Then Mindy asked the crucial question, “Do you want to break up with him?”

Christina winced. Then she said miserably, “I can't see how I can straighten this out and get the kind of love affair I want and my pride is bruised. He's thinking about how far he's willing to go for me... for Tina. He didn't give me an answer, and even if he does, I'm not sure I want to hear it.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

Christina thought about it for a second, but if she was going to break up with him then the answer was pretty clear. “First, I need to swallow my feelings and make it through this last photoshoot.”

“Correct,” Mindy said approvingly. “It really wouldn’t look good on me, you, Mark, Trevor or Collin if you ran squealing at this point. You would look worse than Alexander, especially since this is your first time modeling.”

“Then I need to quit my job working as Mark’s assistant,” Christina continued.

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?” Mindy asked. “I mean, you worked so hard to get an honest job.”

“Well, if I’m breaking up with him then I can’t keep working for him. After I make it through the photoshoot I won't be able to work with him for one more day.”

“I guess if that’s how you feel,” she mumbled.

“Come on, Mindy,” Christina pleaded. “If you’ve been hurt, you have to know how important it is to get away from the person who has hurt you.”

“I didn’t disagree with you,” Mindy defended.

“Good. Then I need to get on a bus to visit my parents. Then I’ll figure out what to do from there.”

“What about the wrap-up party?”

“What about it?”

“Don’t you need to go?” Mindy asked.

“Maybe,” Christina considered. “But don’t I just have to show up, order a drink, pour it onto a plant, congratulate Collin, and then head for the door?”

Mindy bit her lip, “What if I’m not comfortable with that?”

Christina shook her head, “Why should you care?”

“During this whole thing, you have been Tina when dealing with the crew and I don’t want you to leave sniveling. You should have perfect PR during this whole thing no matter what you want to do next. Besides, I want to do a favor for you because you got me that job doing your makeup.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’ll be your last night dressed up like Tina, right?”

“I don’t know,” Christina said, fingering her false hair. “I spent so much money on these extensions it seems stupid to get rid of them.”

“It’ll be your last night with Mark, then?”

“Yes,” Christina choked. She hadn’t said she was going to break up with Mark, quit her job, and run for the hills, but before she finished talking she knew that’s what she was going to do.

“Then, let’s do it with style.”

“It’ll have to be in my innocent style then because I don’t know if I can pull off your experienced one,” Christina said, pinching her nose between her eyes.

“Escort style,” Mindy corrected.

Christina looked up. At once she knew what Mindy was talking about. “Mindy, you are an absolute angel!”

***

The final photo session was to take place in Collin’s office. They dressed the room up like a woman’s office. The general idea was that it was supposed to be Tina’s office and Mark was coming to visit her. They did quite a few shots with him peeking around the door. Then they did some with her sitting on the desk with her cute cell phone. All the pictures included shots of the cell phone, but these didn’t have Mark in them at all. They were just her and the phone. Christina was starting to get quite attached to it. She was thinking of buying one when they came on sale.

The last shots were a lot easier for Christina. Maybe it was because she’d been doing it for the past two days or maybe it was because Mark wasn’t as intense as he’d been in the past. He made his face look the way Trevor wanted, but other than that; he was pretty hands-off about the whole thing.

When they were finished, the entire crew planned to go out to a club. Since clean-up took a couple of hours, everyone wasn’t ready to go until around eight. Christina and Mark helped too since there was so much work to do.

Right before they were set to leave, Mindy plopped Christina into her makeup chair and did her makeup one last time.

“Don’t think too much about what we’re doing tonight,” she advised as she applied Christina’s blush. “Just have a good time.”

“I’ll try,” Christina said, finally allowing herself to feel mournful. Nothing Mark had said or done that day had convinced her she was making the wrong decision. He was polite and courteous, but not remarkable. Lucky for him, he didn’t look smug. If he had Christina would have looked forward to twisting the knife. Instead, he just looked indifferent. Christina could never tell how he was feeling anyway.

After Mindy was finished, the two girls went and put on their clubbing gear. Mindy wore a gold-colored top and black pants. She looked like a panther. Christina wore a light green dress that gathered over one shoulder and hung loosely over the other. Little beads were sewn artfully across it like a fairy had lost her balance over Christina’s head and dropped stars all over her. As she looked into the mirror in the bathroom, she thought she looked better than she’d ever looked for a date before. Even though she was dressed like Tina, she could still see herself peeking out through the facade.

When she and Mindy came out of the bathroom, Mark was waiting for them. To Christina, his expression was unfathomable, but Mindy seemed to think something when she saw him. If anything, it was as though Mindy understood something Christina did not.

“You look nice,” he said to Christina as he took her arm and led her toward the elevator.

Mindy hung outside as the doors closed, her feet firmly planted on the carpet.

“Wait, Mindy. Aren’t you coming too?” Christina called.

“Go on without me. I’ll catch a ride with Trevor,” she said and the elevator doors closed between them.

Then she and Mark were alone in the elevator as it went down. The air seemed too hot to Christina even though the building was air-conditioned. She felt like she was going to suffocate and the seconds seemed to be ticking backward. Would she ever get out?

“We need to talk,” Mark said at last.

“Okay,” Christina said. Her voice was like a drop of water falling into a sea, it could barely be heard.

“Do you want to blow off this party and come over to my place?”

“You kill me,” Christina said sarcastically.

“We need to talk and we can’t do it there. It’ll be too noisy.”

“Is that the Mark I know talking? It doesn’t seem like it. You see, the Mark I know wouldn’t skip out on a company event to be with his girlfriend. He wouldn’t even turn away a second girl when he’s already on a date if she’s part of the institution. Both his and his lover’s wants are completely unimportant compared to his professional obligations.”

“Really?”

“Yup,” she said, not sounding near chipper enough for the use of the word. “Besides, I can’t ditch. I promised Mindy I would be there. She really wants to be a makeup artist and it’ll make her look bad if I don’t show up. I think she’s planning on greasing some wheels tonight.”

“Who would be there to grease?” Mark asked incredulously.

“Trevor and Collin,” Christina answered smoothly. “She’s got to try her best, and I’m her cousin. I can’t leave her in the lurch. I love her.”

Just then the elevator opened and Christina and Mark stepped out.

“We can talk in the car,” Christina offered as she hurried ahead of him to the front doors of the building.

“You want to talk about London in the car?” Mark asked, rushing after her.

“I’m not going to London. I haven’t heard from Dominic since last night and if I do, I’ll let him outright I’m not going with him. I’d make a crappy model. My emotions are way too likely to get involved and I’d just get hurt over and over again. No thanks.”

“What about me?” Mark asked, grabbing both her shoulders and forcing her to face him.

“Oh yeah,” Christina said, trying to act like she was forgetting the smallest of details. “I was going to tell you. I quit. I won’t be coming into work on Monday.”

“Why?” Mark said, seeking her eyes in the most sincere way.

“Because,” she said, trying to match his sincerity with venom. “We’re breaking up.”

“Because of London?”

“No,” Christina said licking her lips. “Because I won’t follow you there just to be your assistant.”

“You already said that.”

“And because,” she continued. “It’s impossible for me to be what you want.”

“I’ll tell you what I want.”

“I’m not interested,” she said, fighting off his hands and walking past him.

“What about what I don’t want? Cause I don’t want Tina!” he yelled after her.

Christina stopped in her tracks and turned around, “What did you say?”

“I said I don’t want Tina,” he breathed. “But you said you wouldn’t come to London with me as Christina.”

She nodded. She remembered saying that.

“You didn’t give me a choice,” he continued. “You said you would only come as Tina. I’m a pig, but I wanted to have the job and you. I thought if I offered you the same job as my assistant in London then you could come and we could date longer, because… I wasn’t ready for more." He ran his hand through his hair and started pacing the empty atrium. His footsteps echoed on the floor. “And I didn’t think you were, either. But then you said I’d have to make a big sacrifice in order to even get Tina. I thought that meant you wanted me to ask you to marry me if you were going to come. And… What am I talking about? You two are the SAME PERSON.”

Christina didn’t know what to say. When she thought over their conversation it definitely seemed like a marriage proposal was what she was hinting towards. She colored because she wasn’t sure that was what she meant.

“Anyway, I don’t care,” Mark said noisily. “We never get any time alone no matter how hard I chase you. There always appears to be someone waiting in the wings as soon as one of us has a few minutes. Even as we speak, Mindy and Trevor are on their way down and so we won’t be alone in here for longer than a minute." He paused and took a deep breath. Then he said rationally, “I just thought if we moved to a city where neither of us knew anyone we might have a chance to actually get to know each other. But it’s impossible. In London, I’ll know Trevor and apparently, you’ll know Dominic and he’s going to be impossible to shake. And let’s face it, wherever you go you are going to attract a string of admirers. And so now you’re breaking up with me. Maybe that’s well and good since I have no idea how to make you happy.”

Everything he said surprised Christina. He sounded like he really wanted to be with her.

“Mark, we have so many problems,” she said, trying to be sensible. “But let’s deal with them one at a time. I have always felt you cared more deeply for me when I was pretentious than when I was sincere. That bothers me a lot.”

Mark stopped pacing and faced her. “Are you trying to give yourself a multiple personality disorder? I mean really, both people are you. So, you don’t want to be flirty and done up twenty-four-seven. Who could really blame you for that? But, when I first met you, you didn’t seem fake to me.”

Christina sighed, “That’s because I really liked you.”

Mark perked up like he was getting an idea. Then he said, “And on Valentine’s Day when you flirted with Dominic? You were flirty then, too.”

Christina dropped her hands in surrender. “That’s because you were there and I knew you wanted to be out with me instead of Laura because you’d made a bid for me as well. So, I thought I’d make you jealous if I hung all over Dominic.”

“So, if you act like that for those reasons, then what part of you is faking it?” he asked logically.

“But I—”

Mark interrupted, “You felt like flirting and you did. How is that pretentious? Just because you had the cover of being an escort, you didn’t have to take responsibility for your actions. Did you tell yourself it was just for the job? Is that what caused all of this?”

“I don’t know,” Christina whined, frustrated. “I don’t care. What I really want is for you to like me whether I decide to dress up to the nines or not, whether I decide to be all bouncy or if I want to be serious. I want to be smeared with mud and have you still think I'm cute.”

“That’s it?” he asked disbelievingly. “Done!” he exclaimed coming toward her and looking meaningfully into her eyes. “You are wonderful on your own. You’re fun enough without the flare. Whether you’re chucking your bra padding at me, or falling asleep with an open can of pop in your hand, or throwing underwear onto the highway—or whatever—whining, screaming, crying, sleeping—I want it all. Even when you’re just sitting at your desk doing your paperwork, you are what I want. So, don’t break up with me, Christina. I love you. Please give me a chance to work it out with you.”

“You love me?” she gasped.

“Of course I do. I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to say it,” he said, pulling her hand to his heart. “I’ve loved you from the first. Just please, stop driving me crazy and stay with me.”

Christina felt like she was going to cry, but she kept on being sensible and asked quietly, “What about London? That’s the next problem.”

“Do you want to go?”

“No,” she said, allowing her head to droop.

“Then, that’s all you needed to say. I won’t go either,” he said, kissing the palm of her hand.

“But, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities don't come along very often,” Christina said, letting a tear slide down her cheek.

Mark cupped her face in his palm. “No. They don't,” he said gently, looking at her like she was the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity he didn't want to miss out on.

“Okay, Mark. I’ll stay. I won't quit,” she said.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her adoringly. Her hands were still on his chest and she felt his heart thudding madly against his rib cage. And for the first time, something miraculous happened. She felt like he really did love her for who she was instead of for who she wasn’t.

“Do you think we should try to sneak past them,” a soft voice said at the other end of the atrium.

“No,” a male voice answered. “Let’s wait until they’re finished.”

Christina thought Mark heard the voices, but he just kept on kissing her and making the world around her swirl. Christina could hardly pay attention to what they were saying, but through her daze, she could make out a little of their conversation.

“Well, if they made up then I should make some calls,” Mindy’s gentle voice said.

“Why?”

“Well, I was going to have some of my escort buddies come and help Christina save a little face since she was supposed to be brokenhearted tonight. You know, all my male escort buddies.”

“You’re a good friend,” Trevor said kindly.

“No, I’m blood. There’s nothing like developing a little bit of a mob mentality when your family’s pride is threatened.”

“I certainly know what you mean,” Trevor chuckled. “But doesn’t it look good to see them? When was the last time you were kissed like that, Mindy?”

“I don’t really remember. It might have been yesterday, but I’ll tell you one thing, it didn’t take roots like that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Trevor said, right before Christina heard a gasp from the other end of the room.

She and Mark looked up to see Trevor kissing Mindy. Her cell phone had fallen onto the marble tile.

“Maybe they should do the commercial,” Mark drawled before he kissed Christina again.