Nothing is scarier than being adrift without an anchor.

~Manannan, God of the Sea & Weather

Patron of the Shapeshifters

Days went by quickly. Crow continued to cultivate using the Martial way, although he now added in the Druid method too. Dagda’s words changed his approach, and now he spent more time embracing the fire instead of fighting it. It was easier said than done, but the pain helped him focus and push aside all other worries.

Mara and the Song sisters returned a few days after Crow. Song Xue and Song Lin avoided him for different reasons, but they still sent pills and guidance. It got to where Crow did his cultivation and training down in the workshop. He’d spend almost the entire time down there and only came up to eat with Otto or Mara.

Despite feeling adrift, Crow continued to work on his going away gifts. Mugna and Gavin provided any materials he asked for, provided they weren’t too outrageous. Mostly Crow just needed Ice Yew, a rare wood that could grow in the most frigid climates. There were other rare components, but they were minor compared to that. Crow knew this aid was also out of guilt. It seemed to be a theme in his life right now.

Unable to hold back anymore, he decided to go to the Triskelion Archives. There were two days before he faced Munro in the Arena and then ten days until the trial. The token provided him with ten days’ worth of time to spend inside the archive, so he would spend one day recovering after the fight and then spend the remaining time there until the trial. Other than one gift, which needed time to set, he’d finished his other ones.

Mara appeared beside him. “I’m coming with you.”

“Since when can the Beast of Teonet read?”

“Pff, who’re you calling a beast?” She laughed at his shocked face. “Don’t worry, from what I saw—”

“Don’t finish that! Let’s go. There is something I think you should read.”

They both won the same award for the Hunt. Crow gave his totem voucher to Gavin, who promptly threw it away. As for the Scourge pill, he held onto it for now because he had to wait until he could effectively use his Source. He also pocketed the two hundred gold, but he’d created a stockpile of Mana Crystals, so the gold might not be worth all that much. Then again, his Mana Crystals were unusual.

Thinking about the Hunt, he involuntarily looked at the scars on his palms. Hands that had killed and Crow could still smell the blood that once covered them. He knew if he hadn’t done that, he’d have died, but it didn’t prevent the morose feelings.

As if sensing the mood, Mara grabbed his hands and pulled him into a big hug and stroked his shoulder-length hair. Something he’d started growing out recently. Mara’s strawberry blonde hair blew across his face in return. It didn’t last long, but Crow felt better already.

“She’ll come around,” Mara said, misunderstanding his mood. But he couldn’t discount that it was also affecting him.

“I never mentioned it because I wasn’t sure if I should,” Crow said as they walked down the street toward the archives. “My bond with Song Xue wasn’t because of what happened, not directly. The heavens intervened. It tried to uproot my karmic bond with her, and she was never aware of it. I resisted it, but only because something else intervened. Our bond suffered damage in the attack, and telling her would make it worse.”

“Such a thing is possible?” Mara asked, her face more pale than usual. “Why would it do that?”

“I’ve had some time to think—”

“Think? You’ve been a ghost for days.”

“—and I think it targeted Song Xue to ruin my foundation. If it could take her from me…”

“Then your willpower and momentum would be destroyed,” Mara finished with a sigh. “Life around you really isn’t easy.”

“I could free you all obligations toward me,” Crow said, bumping her shoulder with his.

“Fool. I’m not with you because of stupid things like obligations or responsibility. When we were in the Hunt, you protected me when I gave you no reason to do so. I was eccentric and wild, but you never judged me, not like the others did. After… things played out, and you were fighting Ryan, you didn’t hesitate when I gave you an opening. I’m not a foolish girl that is going to give a speech about love. However, feeling like you don’t belong or out of place, that is a horrible feeling. Every event I went to, even school, I always felt like a stranger in my own life. Until you came along. You made me feel welcome, and you gave me a home. The first moment I knew was when we were in that lake, and you called yourself daddy. I never laughed so hard in my life.”

“Knew what?”

“That the only way I’d leave your side is if you killed me. My loyalty is because I trust you, just as you trusted me. My loyalty is because you never once questioned my ability, not like the others. No matter how foolish I acted or the things I did, you played along. That is why I walk beside you.” Mara laughed and then bumped his shoulder in return. “I don’t even care about the other women in your life—want more? I’ll help.”

Crow’s jaw dropped. He didn’t even know what to say to that. Lamely, he spouted off the first thing that came to his mind. “So Song Lin…?”

“Good for her. She has always been miserable, and she was like me, adrift. Unsure where she belongs. The goofy look on her face when we walked in was priceless.” Mara chuckled just thinking about it.

“You are a strange duck.”

“Maybe. But if you ever treat me as a weakling and don’t respect me as your equal, I will beat the hell out of you until you can’t walk. Once I’ve satiated my anger, I’ll leave. No restarts. And you must never lie to me.”

“Where is all this coming from?”

“I realize how miserable Song Xue is because she can’t decide what you are to her. Not in a meaningful way. I don’t want you to be confused about where I stand. I like Song Xue, but she needed this setback—uh, the attack on your bond aside. Also, I think Song Lin is a better pairing for you because she is proud and never asks for anything from anyone. You don’t know how shocked I was that she made this bold move and took what she wanted. Sure, it was to help you, but Lin planned this out in advance, knowing what would happen. She’s kind of amazing. Plus, you get an awesome alchemist on your team, maybe unrivaled given enough time. We’ll never lack money or resources.”

Crow sighed.

“Don’t look at me like I’m crazy!”

“But you are crazy…” Crow said sincerely, and she just laughed. “I won’t judge you for that. It is one of your best qualities.”

“You fool,” Mara laughed. “We are here.”

She put her finger on the side of his chin and pushed until he faced a massive cylindrical building with tall archways. It was even taller than the Sweet Onion, so he wasn’t sure how this thing only had six floors. As his head tilted back, trying to count all the windows, she laughed.

“There are over six floors above ground, but only the first six are the archives. Above that are the living quarters of the caretakers. There is also a floor that represents the academies and Scholarly Talents. You may enter those floors, but there is nothing see up there. Although the Scholarly Talent floors have some workshops, they probably can’t match up to your clan’s.”

They both walked through the grand entrance. The lobby held quite a few bookshelves, and each book had a tag with a price listed on it. These books were only copies of the originals. Still, the caretakers spent part of their day making copies to generate income. This income was used to pay for the maintenance and upkeep of the library. This included specially ordering specific books.

At the desk to the right of the door was a clockwork man. It looked eerily similar to the one in the False Dawn Workshop. The moment the two stepped into the archives, it looked over at them and waited until they approached.

“Tokens?”

Crow and Mara both handed them over.

“Which floor?”

“Fourth sub-floor,” Crow said. He’d already consulted with Gavin about this. The sub-floors were unique and rarely opened. Most of the books were older, and there were some from the time of the Draoidh. It was one of the primary reasons Gavin sent him here. It was the most likely place to have information about Celtic Knots.

“Same,” Mara said.

“Really?” Crow asked.

“Yes. My father used to tell me that the sub-floors are unequaled. Even private libraries paled in comparison.”

The clockwork man gave their tokens back and pointed toward one corner of the lobby. “Put the tokens in that formation.”

Crow and Mara approached the formation. Crow saw the raised platform about a meter wide. On the wall behind it was a circular shape that reminded him of the Awen during the aptitude tests. Observing the carved lines hidden within the artistic overlays, he realized he was looking at a simple teleportation array. It was not meant for long distances, and this one was vertical only. Placing his disc into the wall slot, the formation powered up and sent Crow stumbling a dozen steps. It spat him out on another floor but left him so dizzy that he had to rest his hands on his knees and bow his head to stop himself from puking.

Moments later, Mara came stumbling into him, and she was in just as bad a shape as him.

“This mommy never wants to do that again!” Mara grumbled, and Crow couldn’t stop himself from laughing. She must have been holding back because she hadn’t used that line all day.

“That formation was flawed—it’s why we feel like this,” Crow said. “Just glad we didn’t end up in the void or something.”

In front of them was another desk with a clockwork man. Crow wondered if all these things were librarians.

“May I help you find something?” The librarian asked.

“Void cultivation or techniques,” Crow said.

“Let me explain some rules before I direct you. You will use the utmost care when handling any books or scrolls. There are no vestiges down here, so you must read and comprehend on your own. The only thing you may take out of here is the knowledge you gained. Everything else remains. For a price, you can request a copy of a book. But only one request per month.”

“Understood,” Crow said, and Mara echoed.

“Void research is down the west wing, door seven.”

“Go, Mara, that’s you.”

“Huh?”

“Trust me, you’ll benefit from that place. Grab some books and meet me over there. We have two days before my duel, and then we can come back after I recover and use up the remaining days before the trial.”

“Okay, but I came here to do some research of my own too. So I plan to spend the next ten days here, and I’m only taking a break when your duel arrives.”

Crow laughed and then turned back to the librarian.

“I need to find anything related to multi-dimensional arrays or Celtic Knots.”

The librarian remained silent for a long moment, long enough that Crow turned toward Mara, wondering if he broke it. She just shrugged at him.

“Northwest…” It stopped and shook its head. “Conservatory.”

“There is a conservatory this far underground?” Crow asked, doubting this clockwork man’s directions.

“Yes. Go that direction and don’t stop until you reach the door at the end of the hall.”

“Okay, I’m coming too,” Mara said. “I have to see this.”

Crow turned toward the direction indicated and realized there were twelve hallways surrounding the room, like the arms of a clock. Northwest had two paths, but the clockwork man sent them to the eleven o’clock hall. The hall was well lit, even if it was dreary. Not that dim light was a problem for Crow because his eyes had transformed during his stay at the Shores.

“Have you ever tried to use Faces of the Dead?” Mara asked while they walked. He’d told her about his spell during the Hunt but hadn’t given it much thought since then since the camouflage aspect didn’t really work in a duel setting.

“Huh? I can’t use that—oh.” Crow stopped walking and realized he could have used it. The only absolute requirement to transform was that he had to kill the person he wanted to become. Killing Ryan opened up that part of the spell, and he could take on his appearance. [See chapter 18 - Abilities]

“Nevermind, forget I asked. That’s probably too much,” Mara said.

“No. You are right. I shouldn’t forsake an ability over squeamishness. It is a spell that could save my life, but I’ll practice on another day. First, let’s see what they are calling a conservatory.”

Both of them approached the door on the end, and Crow pushed it open. As they walked down a glass tunnel, the dimly lit area grew brighter and brighter until they found themselves in a room filled with ceiling to floor shelves on the right and left side. However, the back wall and ceiling were made of glass. Beyond the glass was the most shocking part because they could see an open meadow filled with sunlight. The wind ruffled the tall grasses, and a few elk grazed in the distance.

“We are doing all of our reading in here,” Mara said breathlessly, and the sunlight lit up her hair and face, which caused Crow to lose his breath as well. In Oiche, sunlight was rare, so the Hunt was the last time he’d seen her looking this radiant. Not that he didn’t know Mara was beautiful, but the City of Darkness muted it greatly. “You keep staring at me like that, and Song Lin won’t be the only woman you claim.”

Crow swallowed hard and wondered if the Song Lin incident had changed him. Lately, he had noticed more and more women, and their feminine parts couldn’t escape his gaze. In the past, he’d never have given it much thought, but now it occupied a good portion of his mind.

Mara finally turned toward Crow, realizing he hadn’t stopped staring. Seeing his twisted face, she could instantly tell what he was thinking. Call it womanly intuition. She felt that this new situation was rather exciting, so she gave him a quick kiss on his lips and then took off toward her own research. She laughed, thinking of Crow’s dumbfounded look. “That boy is hopeless.”

Crow shook off his deviating thoughts and looked around. His eyes caught a ripple of light across the surface of the window, something normal eyes might not see. After scrutinizing it for a time, he realized it was a formation. The scene outside the glass was an illusion. Glancing around the room, he could see layers of formations around the observatory, most of which were currently active. Crow studied them all, trying to discern their purpose. It didn’t matter that he understood less than a percent of what he observed, because just being able to see these things had already expanded his awareness. In comparison, the thoughts and designs he’d put together in his mind were minor. Not even worthy of being cheap imitations of anything here.

An epiphany struck him while observing the windows once more. He realized it was only an illusion, and he could change it. Not modify the formation, but activate a portion of it. Crow could change the view to an image in his own mind. All he had to do was imprint it on the small circle etched into the side of the glass panel.

Placing his hand over it, he triggered his Source and sent the image. The meadow changed to the hidden valley they used during the Hunt. Seeing it come to life within the window, Crow couldn’t help but feel wistful. Seeing the idyllic scenery with the lake and open fields surrounded by majestic mountains, he remembered the rocky start their group had. Followed by the nights filled with laughter and joking while they ate dinner around the fire.

“You… how did you do this?” Mara asked. In her hands were several books and scrolls, which she set on a nearby table.

“The glass, it’s some kind of magical item. What you see in the glass is all an illusion. You can do it too, this symbol here, you just need to place your hand on it and channel some of your mana into it while thinking of a place.”

“Can you make this kind of formation?”

“No. Not yet, anyway. It is beyond complex, and I’ve only barely comprehended this small part of it.”

“Well, get reading then. When we get married, the home you build me better have a window like this. Oh, and do the ceiling too. We could make love under the stars or under the ocean—”

“Damn! Whose marrying you?” Crow asked, but it lacked his typical fake outrage.

“You already lost, and yet you still fight against me? So sad…” Mara sighed and shook her head while sitting down on a padded lounge chair and propped open a book, and began reading.

Crow didn’t have a rebuttal and grabbed the first shelf of books, about a dozen in all. He slowly flipped through them, memorizing most of it and focusing on the exciting bits that caught his attention. This first batch discussed many theories related to formations and how the world and environment played a factor. Some of it was incredibly detailed research, while others were more subjective observations.

The next shelf talked about formation disruptions—most texts related to interference by man or beast. However, one interesting scroll went into a lot of detail about the Formation’s Eye. This was a type of vacuum created when the formation was powering up. If timed right, a simple attack could unravel the entire thing before it is set. The only problem was that it required a formation expert with a lot of battle experience because the timing had to be nearly perfect.

Putting all the books from the fourth shelf back, Mara snorted. “I hate you. You aren’t even reading, and that’s cheating.”

Crow grinned at her and made no comment. Grabbing the next shelf, he sat down once again. Every time he felt fatigued, he’d cultivate in front of the glass window, allowing the sun to reach him. Then he’d continue his research until two days went by. At which point, he’d memorized almost all the books on the left side of the conservatory. There was a lot of redundant information because it was essentially research built upon research. Crow didn’t mind because each had varying opinions and distinct approaches to the Scholarly Talent. There were very few formation patterns in any of the texts. However, because of the various methods, research, and theories, his understanding of formations had greatly benefited.

So far, Crow only found four books related to multi-dimensional formations and one book on Celtic Knots. It didn’t discourage him but made him realize how difficult those paths were and how much specific knowledge was guarded. The disparity in the number of books on basic formations and advanced ones showed how few clans volunteered this kind of information to the library.

Gently, he closed the last book and stretched before putting them all away.

“Heading back?” Mara asked without looking up.

“Yes.”

“How did you know I’d benefit from researching the void?”

“A vision in which you were a void lioness.”

“Ha!” Mara burst out laughing, but then saw Crow’s serious face. “Y-you are serious?”

“I am.”

“Is this vision also the reason your resistance toward me has lessened?” Mara unabashedly locked eyes with Crow, and pursed her full lips while furrowing her brow. He didn’t know what her facial expressions meant, but even he could sense that he shouldn’t spout off some nonsense.

“Partly. I’m still trying to understand it. Also, I think opening my Sacral Chakra has made me…” Crow’s face flushed bright right, but he didn’t break eye contact with her.

“Good.”

“Mara—”

“Save it, get going. I’ll see you tomorrow at noon. You better live up to your legend and scold Munro with all your might,” Mara laughed and smiled wryly. Golden Mouth was all anyone talked about the last few days around town. It was all different now.

Crow went back to the manor and entered the workshop. He had left one of his gifts down there to set. Now was the time to add in the last details and smooth over the crude parts. Then he had to polish it until it shined. Hours later, he completed it—the last of the gifts he had planned on giving.

Trudging back to his room, Otto was waiting. Crow punched him on the shoulder before collapsing on his bed and falling into a deep sleep. Soul Burn still filled his dreams with fire, but they lacked the sinister bite it once had.