CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

THESE ARE MY CARROTS

In the city of Union, at its castle, inside one room sits a reasonably confused Noname upon a large heavy throne-like chair. Surrounded by her self-proclaimed long-lost uncle Belmon and an elderly person with a monocle upon his left eye and various trinkets. Noname’s sits as the weird elder inspects her birthmark. Moving away from her to his notes, he scribbles down a few words on papers as he rummages through his books; he returns to recheck to the birthmark. The process continues; back and forth.

Noname squints as her eyes still require time to adjust to the bright light bouncing from the surfaces in the room. Everything is clean. Too clean and too shiny; amplifying the rays of sunlight into blinding light. The room looks as if it has never seen a speck of dust. This is nothing compared to what Noname knows; this is a different world. She looks around as she notices an abundance of treasures; fine fabrics, over-the-top furniture, some jewelry here and there, and a large mirror in the corner. This would fetch a pretty penny, she thinks. The only question is, how can she steal it?

Noname focuses her attention on the large mirror. She sees something she never saw before- her reflection. Perhaps for the first time in her life, she notices her unkempt image She tries to even her hair in a paltry attempt of grooming. The tangled hair prevents passage; she tries to untangle it, but to no avail. She stops. Strange. Never in her life did she care about such things. So why now?

Damn mirror!

She wonders if the bored nobles have convoluted together to play a trick on her, but she dismisses this thought as they can’t be so bored. Can they? Dirty nobles, she curses them in her mind. Maybe all of this is a dream, maybe she is back at her guild and when she wakes up she will see Harry, Little Pete, and Big Pete playing cards like they always do. She needs to wake up; Noname pinches herself twice, but nothing happens. Damn, this is no dream. This is tedious!

The elderly man with the monocle stops as he looks at Lord Belmon.

“Is real?” he asks, impatiently.

Lord Belmon approaches him with a huge grin as he taps him on the shoulder; he laughs.

“There was never any question in my mind. You look exactly like my dear Aviina,” Belmon says as he stares Noname in the eyes; a small tear runs down his face.

“Wat?” Noname blurts out in bewilderment.

“You are the princess! You are princess Valima! When you were little, they spirited you away from us. We searched and searched, but alas we never found you. But now... now you are back. Now you will take back what is your birthright,” Lord Belmon says as he hugs her with all his might. Noname looks at the tear-eyed old man as one would look at a crazy person.

I am a dirty noble? Me? Ridiculous!

“Holdja horses! Does dat mean the treasure in da castle is mine?” Noname asks as the thought of being a noble may not be the worst thing in the world. It does come with a perk here and there.

“Everything in this city is your birthright!” Belmon states as he makes a wide gesture with his hands.

Everything? Maybe being a dirty noble isn’t so bad. Maybe?

“But!” Belmon loudly adds breaking Noname’s happy thoughts.

There is always a but in every situation, Noname curses.

“We have to fix you up,” Belmon adds as he inspects her.

“Whatcha ya talkin’ bout?” Noname blurts out.

“The way you talk for one. The way you look for two. The way you act for three. Your education for four, then your...” Belmon talks as he gets cut off.

“Blah, blah, blah,” Noname blurts out visibly bored with this conversation; even more so with the thought of doing even one of these things.

“I dontcha wanna dis,” Noname says. Too much hassle in being a noble, even if the treasure is good. She has standards. Low standards, but standards nevertheless.

“It may sound like a chore, but I know a smart girl like you will have no issue in making it happen. I bet it won’t even take you more than a few weeks. You are a Garniot, after all,” Lord Belmon says, nodding his head in approval and confidence.

“Dat is true. I is smarts,” Noname nods as she thinks about it; yet, this is not something she wants. This is not her way.

But… money is good. Is it worth it, she thinks?

Belmon notices her dilemma.

“Your friends,” Lord Belmon adds as he purposefully coughs.

“Friends? Ya! Where they be? What did ya do wit dem?” Noname yells as she forgets about everything else.

“They are still in the dungeon and awaiting execution,” Lord Belmon says as he pauses for a moment.

“Execution?” Noname blurts out as her right eye twitches and her finger flips off everyone in the room.

“Oh, my,” the monocled elder says, being insulted by the presence of such vulgarism.

“But we can pardon them if...” Belmon says as he stops mid-sentence.

“If? If wat? Speak you sly old fox,” Noname asks in frustration.

“If you become what you were destined to become. If you rise to the throne,” Belmon says, over dramatically.

“Fine! I will do ya stupid princess thingas,” Noname says in frustration as she grunts.

The old sly fox has got me by the throat, she thinks.

“These are my carrots! These are my carrots!” Noname blurts out, followed by her right eye twitching and finger flipping.

"Carrots?" the two elderly men glance at each other for a moment.

“Good! I shall prepare everything, but for now, we shall take you to your new quarters,” Lord Belmon says, walking away with a smile on his face.

Stubborn, but if you give a little you get something back. Like dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit, Lord Belomn summarizes.

Two maids come inside the room as they bow in front of Noname.

“Follow us please,” one maid says as she points to the exit.

They leave as the elderly monocled man watches in deep in thought.

“What carrots?” he asks himself.

They bring Noname to a chamber; to her chamber. Her very own room inside the enormous castle. The previous room was enormous, but this one leaves it wanting. Her jaw drops from disbelief. Inside stands a gigantic bed with dozens of blankets and pillows; she jumps on it. Soft! How can something be so soft? Next to it, a human-size mirror; she scoffs as she turns away from it. Extravagant tables, chairs, and closets fill the room. The door opens as servants enter; carrying buckets of water. They throw the water inside a bathtub as it slowly fills up.

What are they doing, Noname asks herself?

Respectfully bowing down, they excuse themselves as they exit the chamber.

“Princess Valima,” the maid bows.

The other maid does the same.

“My name is Sara, and this is my sister Layla,” Sara says.

The two maids resemble each other like a reflection. Both with elegantly tied up brown hair with different braids and twists. The two sisters look mature and elegant but can be hardly told apart.

“Ya look da same,” Noname blurts out as Layla smiles.

“Princess Valima, we are twins,” Layla adds in a respectful bow.

“Princess Valima? Call me Noname,” Noname says in contempt for the… other name.

“I’m afraid we cannot do that,” Layla approaches as she bows.

“Whatcha talkin’ bout. Why nat?” Noname asks, visibly annoyed.

“You are Princess Valima. If we dared to call you anything other, I am sure our heads will roll, but if the princess is unsatisfied with us, then I guess we have no choice,” Sara says bowing yet again.

Noname grunts.

“Stop da bowing then. Makes me think I be some dirty noble...” Noname says as she frowns at the mention of nobles. Makes her think she is a noble? The realization that she possibly is one comes to her. She is a dirty noble! Is she?

“As you command princess Valima,” Sara says as she moves to bow but stops herself.

“Princess. It is time,” Layla says as she points at the bathtub.

“Time? Wat time?” Noname responds, looking at her with confusion.

“Time for a bath,” Layla adds with a smile on her face, still pointing at the bathtub.

“Bath?” Noname blurts out.

“Yes, princess Valima,” Sara responds with a smile.

“Wat is bath?” Noname asks as the two maids look at each other with expressions as if they saw the dead rise from their graves. Staring speechless with wide-open jaws.

Noname lies in the bubbly bathtub as the maids scrub and clean her with great intensity; her grunts and face betray her frustration. Tedious! Her patience slowly diminishes. Abruptly she rises naked from the bathtub, and screams in frustration completely covered in bubbles.

“Princess?” Sara says as she looks at her with confusion.

“Dis is tedious,” Noname loudly proclaims. She heard this word in the streets and decided to steal it. Noname does like to steal, after all.

“Princess, we have to clean you and, sadly, there is much work to do at that point,” Sara says as trying to calm the angry Noname.

“Wat? Why? Who cares bout dis clean stuff,” Noname menacingly yells trying to scare the maids into submission. The bubbles sadly nullify her level of intimidation.

“You have to be presentable and… it is a real shame,” Layla adds.

“Shame? Wat is shame?” Noname angrily asks sulking inside the bubbly bath.

“You are an exquisite beauty, princess Valima. It is a shame that your true and magnificent beauty is hidden behind all this... dirt. It is a shame,” Sara says, making a sad expression; she turns to Layla, who mimics the same expression.

“A shame,” Layla adds, shaking her head. Both in perfect harmony.

“When the bath is done we will dress you in fine clothes and jewelry,” Sara adds as icing on a cake.

“Fine clothes and jewelry? Ya mean like silver?” Noname asks.

“If you wish for silver, but I believe gold or diamonds would be better,” Sara says with a Machiavellian smile.

Gold or diamonds? Maybe I can do this bath for a while longer, she thinks.

Noname sits back in the bathtub.

This is true. I am ex-qu-sommathing, she thinks as she quickly agrees with the statement. The promise of fine clothes and jewelry helps.

The painstaking and long process of cleaning continues as Noname endures it with calm, patience, and right eye twitches... until the bath is complete.

Sara and Layla dress Noname in a beautiful white dress with intricate patterns. It feels off; it looks good but doesn’t feel right. They bring amulets and rings to her as she gets a pick of any or all of them. The rare stones shine as if they trapped rays of light inside; Noname takes them but doesn’t feel much. She does not understand this. When Noname was young she once stole a silver ring, and it made her the happiest; so, why ? Why doesn't she feel nothing now when she has a much more valuable treasure? Why?

“We managed to this sister,” Sara says as she sighs from the hard work.

“Yes. Now we must do the hair,” Layla adds as she takes a deep breath, preparing for the work to come.

“Hair?” Noname asks, looking at them with worry on her face.

A scream echoes from a room in the castle; scaring the birds outside as they fly away. The screams continue.

Inside Noname’s chambers, the two maids struggle with the tangled hair of the soon to be, new princess.

“A little more princess,” Sara says as sweat runs through her face.

“A little more,” Layla adds as sweat dripping on the floor. Their faces colored red by exhaustion from the hard combing.

“Ya are devils!” Noname yells, thinking she would have it easier back in the dungeon with the deformed weasel of a man.

The screams continue as they subside... it is finally finished.

“Congratulations princess. You made it,” Sara says as she gently claps her hands and smiles.

“Congratulations princess. We shall bring you some food and you can rest,” Layla says, nodding with approval. They leave.

Noname lies on the bed as if she survived inexplicable torture; she gets up as she notices the mirror and her reflection staring back at her.

Noname takes a step back; she does not recognize the person staring back at her.

No dirt on her face, a beautiful long silk white dress, and straight hair. She is beautiful!

“I am ex-qi-samathinga,” Noname says as she approaches the mirror, still dumbfounded.

Is this Noname or princess Valima everyone is talking about? Who is reflected in the mirror, Noname wonders? Riches, servants, and status are all handed to her on a silver platter, yet why doesn’t she feel anything special; why isn’t she more pleased? The feeling isn’t bad, but somewhere deep inside she hoped it would be better.

She loses herself by staring at the reflection as she touches the mirror with her hand.

“Princess,” a voice says as the door opens; she turns to see the maid Sara.

“Wat ya want?” Noname blurts as the thought of going through more cleaning or hair combing manifests a modicum of fear in her.

“I’ve brought you food. Eat and rest up because tomorrow will be a busy day,” Sara leaves the platter of food as she takes her leave.

On the plate lie many foods, all organized as a work of art; two finely cut carrots grab her attention.

“These are my carrots! These are my carrots!” Noname blurts out as her right eye twitches and her finger flips.

Everything is hers. Lord Belmon told her this is all her birthright. The jewelry, the room, the bed, and the mirror inside the room, the maids, the castle, and so forth. This is hers. Everything is hers, as the finely chopped carrots on the silver platter.

These are her carrots.