Richard ransacked his closet, looking for anything that might qualify as hiking gear. He found his old high school backpack, a neglected pair of running shoes, a lighted headband that he once used to attempt automotive repairs, and a wide-brimmed cowboy hat. He checked the batteries; they had drained a long time ago. Rummaging through his junk drawer, he realized he was out of AAs; there were only a few forlorn 9-volts. Before long, he was heading out the door to his rural Rosaleen rendezvous. He just had to stop by the nearest convenience store, and spend some of his new fortune on AA batteries…and wet-naps for his car seat…and some cold bottles of water.

The parking lot at the trailhead was lightly populated this time of day. As Richard got closer to the pedestrian entrance, he spotted an imposing-looking old-model Jeep, painted olive green, but with rosy-pink highlights. His suspicions were confirmed as he saw Rosaleen emerge from inside and wave at him. As he parked next to her vehicle, he noticed it was actually a Land Rover Defender. They were like the Jeep’s feral cousin – more stripped down and a lot more rugged. The front bumper had a hole in the center for a hand crank; if the battery died in the middle of nowhere, you had the option of starting it by hand. Not surprisingly, Britain had designed the vehicle specifically for the conquest of Africa. It suited her well.

She strode up to him. It amazed Richard how well she could rock khaki, though he surmised she would look just as attractive in a potato sack. And the wide-brimmed straw fedora hat, on top of her flowing red hair, made her look something like a delicious ice cream sandwich.

“Hi Richard! Glad you could make it!” She looked demure for a moment. “I’m sorry. Is it OK if I call you Richard?”

“Of course it is,” he returned. “I don’t mind.” He really wanted to move in and give her a hug, but decided it was better to play it cool. Then he spotted a much better reason for keeping his distance.

Wrapped around her shoulders, and descending down her back, was a giant sand-colored monitor lizard. It poked his head through her hair, eyeing him warily. Only now, as she walked, could he see the thick tail swinging lazily behind her, occasionally becoming visible.

“A different lizard?” he asked.

“Sure,” she explained. “The park has a lot of them, and they all need rehabilitation.”

“Understandable, but…why did you bring him on this trip?”

She looked at her shoulder; the lizard looked back at her. “Yeah, why are you here?” she asked. He flicked his tongue at her, catching the end of her nose; she smiled and gave him a scratch on the head. “Aw, thanks sweetie,” she cooed.

She turned back to Richard. “Think of it this way; do you go anywhere without your gun?”

“Of course not,” he answered. “It’s just common sense. I get into a lot of dangerous situations.”

“Sure, but let me ask you this,” she continued. “How would you feel if you went somewhere without your gun?”

He froze; it had been so long since he considered doing so, he genuinely didn’t know how to respond. Finally, he managed to put together his thoughts. “I think I’d feel naked.”

“Exactly,” she announced triumphantly. “And I’d feel naked if I didn’t have a lizard with me.” She giggled lightly. “Plus, they’re the ultimate fashion accessory. Don’t you think he complements my outfit?”

Gratefully perusing her form with his eyes, he had to agree.

She caught his eye and smiled back. “Oh…before we get going…I had something to give you.” She opened her passenger door, pulled out a framed plaque, and handed it to him. “I said I’d make you one of these.”

Richard laughed as he skimmed the flowery wording. The plaque, indeed, proclaimed him a lizard wrangler of the highest order, with all the rights, privileges and duties thereunto appertaining. He thought it had been printed professionally until he took a closer look at it; it had definitely been drawn by hand. That was even better.

“Thank you,” he said as he held it close to his chest. “I’ll treasure it always.” That elicited a beaming smile and a girlish squeak from her. He carefully placed it on his vehicle’s passenger seat, facing away from the unrelenting bleaching sun.

“Well! Shall we?” she asked, turning toward the trailhead.

“Right behind you!” he called out. He was happy to let her lead; not only did she know the way to the cave, but it gave him a welcome chance to peruse her lovely backside. He tried to guess how she became so beautiful. Perhaps it was genetic. Perhaps she just had a very athletic childhood, with lots of fresh air, sunshine, and good food. Or maybe it was all of the above. Whatever the answer, he was grateful, and she was all his for the next few hours or so. He wanted a chance to tell her that he wanted to spend more time with her, and devoutly hoped he would find the right words to say when the time came.

The rolling hills were flush with saguaro cactus, sage brush, yucca trees, and several splashes of wildflowers, nestled between large granite boulders. A hawk circled lazily in the sky, looking for jackrabbits that lacked the common sense to stay out of sight. Lines of natural sandstone slabs jutted out from eroded portions of the mountainside. A pine bush swayed lazily in the wind, its branches covered with bright blue berries.

Richard stopped himself. No one in the world wanted to hear a thorough description of a boring desert mountain landscape, least of all him. He focused and continued his hike.

Rosaleen set a brisk pace; Richard kept up with her, but wondered how long he’d be able to do that. His attention wandered nervously to the description he saw on his phone; the hike to the top of the hill was almost four and a half miles, then one had to walk back. He wondered how long sheer determination could keep him going. At least he had his hat; otherwise, his head might have burst into flames.

Without fanfare, Rosaleen left the trail and began climbing up a dry wash. She turned around to see Richard still on the footpath. “Are you coming?” she asked.

He stepped off, struggled to find his footing in the loose soil, and followed Rosaleen up the hill. “I should have guessed the cave wasn’t along the trail.”

“If it was, I wouldn’t have wanted to visit it,” she shared. “I come out here to get away from it all.”

“Do you do that often?” Richard began climbing the wash, using his hands for an easier ascent.

“As often as I can,” she revealed. “I’m not much of a city girl; sometimes I feel like the city walls are closing in on me.” She turned to flash him a glum look. “You probably think that sounds weird.”

“Not at all,” he assured. “I feel like that all the time. I’m only here because I was born here.”

Rosaleen continued to climb. “Well, I’m here because this is about as much city as I can stand. Plus, it’s got a thriving animal park, filled with critters that need my help. And it’s on the edge of civilization, with nothing for dozens of miles.” She smiled as she rounded a large boulder. “It reminds me a bit of my childhood.”

Richard climbed past the boulder and found her near the top of it. “Where did you grow up?”

“Shhh!” she suddenly hissed. Richard froze; was it a mountain lion? A pack of javelinas? An errant rattlesnake? Even as a child, Richard hadn’t spent much time in the wilderness surrounding Tucson, and wasn’t well-practiced in avoiding its dangerous fauna.

Rosaleen slid up to him. “Don’t move. Look that way.” She pressed the side of her head into his and pointed up the hill. Richard was relieved it wasn’t the side that came with a giant lizard glaring at him. He smiled as he felt the soft touch of her cheek against his. “What am I looking for?”

“He stopped moving,” she explained. “Just give it a minute, and look toward that boulder.” He continued to enjoy her lack of reticence about close physical contact. A minute later, something boulder-colored moved. It crawled between a few rocks and disappeared into a hole.

“What was that?” he asked.

She turned to him and flashed a beaming smile. “That was a gila monster.”

“Wow!” he exclaimed. Despite living in Tucson all his life, he had never seen one. They tended to be elusive and nocturnal, as well as rare. “I wonder what he was doing out in the daylight?”

“He probably heard us coming,” she guessed. “They’re very territorial. But if we don’t bother him, he won’t bother us.”

They continued climbing. The dry wash took them well around the area where they saw nature’s little sentinel. A half hour passed. Richard had fond memories of the time he was concerned about the nine-mile round-trip hike to the top of the hill. His energy began to flag. He was working out muscles that he lost track of years ago, and wasn’t sure how much more he could do.

At the top of the latest wash, Rosaleen stopped and looked back at Richard, smiling. “There it is! The cave I told you about.” Richard reached the top and started to catch his breath, but dispensed with that to gape at what he saw.