《The Mystery of the Real Live Dead Person》17a. A Mysterious Fakir
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Richard trudged through the alley, his eyes darting up and down the walls. The starting point of last night’s path was simple enough to find; the magic shop had to be within a few blocks of that. But he had driven up and down the streets for some time; he found nothing that resembled it. Noting the locations of all alleys in the area, he had parked his car and walked each one, finding nothing. Now he found himself in the one alley that resembled his memory more than any other, but there was nothing but blank walls and solid doors. He remembered the magic shop having large windows, a glass-paned door, and colorful lettering on the outer wall. He grumbled and left the alley to take another look at nearby streets.
As he looped around the block, he became even more certain of his memory. This was definitely the place, and the magic shop should be on the other side of the building. He pondered the odd human predilection for looking for a lost item in the location where it was supposed to be. On the one hand, it wasn’t there; on the other hand, it should be there, and that ought to mean something. He shuddered at the thought of having to ask Tucson Sam for directions; only as a last resort would he consider it. He continued around the block and to the spot where the magic shop should be.
It was there.
A day ago, that might have surprised him; now, he merely chuckled at the implications. The summer sun wouldn’t set for a few more hours, so he had time to test his theory. Quickly, he retraced his steps around the block, finding the shop was gone again. Turning around and making the loop, he found the shop right where he left it. He gave the storefront a cockeyed glance; it was amazing how quickly one could acclimate to something new. And it implied that the customers that found it, more often than not, had to get lost first. He snickered to himself and entered the shop.
A cacophony of odors assaulted him as he opened the door; the place absolutely reeked of incense. The windows had apparently been tinted; now that he had a direct view, he realized the colors in here were far brighter than they appeared outside. He quickly poked his head outside and sneezed a few times, waiting a few seconds before reentering.
“Welcome to my little shop!” the proprietor cheered brightly. “This is the place where magic happens! Now, how can I help you, hon?”
Richard looked her over. Little clues in her face and hands gave away that she was middle aged, not merely sun-ripened. She was still attractive; whatever it was she had, she presented it well. She dressed like a child’s conception of an Arabian dancer, her colorful clothes effective as camouflage within the walls of her store. Her beaming smile could have been inspired by the summer sun; he could feel its radiance threatening to blind him.
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“I just have some questions, if that’s OK,” he related.
“Oh, of course! Ask away! I’ve got so many different types of merchandise! Certainly more than one would expect for such a tiny store. And I can tell you how to use all of it.” She didn’t let him get a word in edgewise. “But I’m not just another salesperson, no no no! I am not what I seem! I am a pilgrim, a traveler, a seeker of experiences and realms that lay beyond the ken of mortal beings! If you will, a fakir!” She rolled the last R as she danced to a song only she could hear. His smile grew as he continued to listen. “You have clearly come here to seek answers, and I am your font of knowledge. Feel free to pick my brain, for any purpose that you can imagine!”
“That’s why I came here, ma’am,” Richard agreed. “You see, I–”
“Wonderful!” she erupted as she took him by the arm. “Come over here, to my seer’s table. I can tell you anything you want to know about yourself.” With a gentle but deft move that would have made judo masters proud, she guided him into a chair at the table; she glided into the other one. In an instant, she had his hand in hers.
“Hmmm, very interesting,” she proclaimed. “I can see here that you’re going to live a long and prosperous life! I can also tell, from this line, that you’re very generous to others, and ask for little in return.” She gave him a coy look as her voice swung toward the musical. “Want to hear about your love life? I don’t mean to spoil the surprise, but I have good news for you!”
“No, please,” he protested. “I mean, thank you, but that’s not why I came here. I had questions about a different matter.”
Her enthusiasm remained unbowed as she released his hand and folded hers into a steepled position supporting her chin. Her impish eyes seemed to generate their own light. “Of course, hon. What is it?”
“It’s related to the reason you set up your shop here,” he began. “I mean, it’s an odd location…in an otherwise empty alley, with no decent parking nearby. And yet, here you are, still in business.”
“But of course!” she exulted, throwing one hand into the air with a flourish. “My customers are drawn here by forces beyond their understanding. Everyone that enters that door is fated to arrive.” She spread her arms wide, to indicate the shop as a whole. “I could tell the moment I first saw this location. To the untrained eye, it was just a hole in the wall, but I could feel it was special! It had magic! And I knew this was the place I had to be!”
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“Yes, exactly!” he thrilled. “That’s what I want to talk to you about! The magic!”
She playfully batted him. “Of, of course, dear. Anything for a fellow traveler on the path.”
“So let’s start with the path. I traveled it last night; it passed by the front of your shop twice. I was wondering what you could tell me about that.”
“Well, of course…the path to many worthy discoveries starts in front of my shop, and then hopefully moves inside of it.” She waved one hand at a nearby glass counter. “Can I show you any of our fine selection of prayer totems?”
“No, that’s not what I meant. I followed a circuitous path last night, and soon after passing by the front of your store twice, I became aware of a different presence. Another world, co-existing with our own.”
She briefly gave him an uneasy look. “Yes…another world…a beautiful place, filled with love and rainbows.”
“Yes!” he rejoiced. “You’ve seen the rainbows too! Odd, weren’t they? Just tiny slivers, fading in and out of the air.” He slapped the table joyfully. “I knew this was the right place to come!”
She paused uncertainly before continuing. “Um…yeah…rainbows, and love, and laughter, and life…”
“I didn’t see much life there,” Richard recalled. “Just some fungus, and a giant statue that moved like it was alive. And aren’t the buildings something else? They made our downtown look like a toy!”
She gave him an uncomfortable look. “What are you talking about?”
“You know, the other world! You said you can feel its magic in here; I can too. But I made it all the way there last night, and I have so many questions about it! Like, why does the sky glow like the ocean? Where are all the people? And what’s the deal with that fungus, anyway?” He beheld her visage with rapt attention.
Her face fell; her beaming smile curled into a fearful grimace. She looked up, straining to meet his gaze. “Are you serious?”
Richard’s brow wrinkled. “Well, of course I am.” He looked at her closely. “Are you OK?”
Her shoulders drooped as she sighed heavily; all of a sudden, she was showing her age all too clearly. Her lips curled into a surly frown as she looked him directly in the eyes. “Look…I’m not a real magician, OK? I just play-act at it.” She glanced around her little store. “I mostly like all the pretty colors.”
Richard pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand. “You’re right, you know. You’re not what you seem.” He fixed her with a steely gaze. “You’re much lamer.”
She covered her eyes and sobbed slightly. “I’m so sorry. I’m not really a fakir.”
“You pronounced ‘faker’ wrong.”
She glared at him sullenly. “Look who’s talking! You came in here with a wild story, straight out of a schizo’s fever dream! Do you really expect anyone to believe you? At least I know I’m pretending!”
Richard sighed heavily. “I wish I was pretending; I really do. But I don’t have that luxury.”
He summarized the events of the previous evening, cutting out more and more detail as he watched the alarm grow in her eyes. By the time he finished, she sat rigidly, making a deer in the headlights look brave and confident in comparison. Neither spoke for several seconds.
Without her customary grace, she rose from her chair, stumbled behind the counter, dug around below it for several seconds, and emerged with an address book. Tearing a page from a nearby branded notepad, she hurriedly scribbled something onto it and handed it over. “I think you should try her. It’s my understanding that she’s a real magician.”
“Thank you; I really appreciate everything you’ve done.”
She took his arm and tugged on it; he rose from his chair and followed as she led him to the front door. “And now, I think you should go,” she spoke in a terrified whisper, tears welling up in her eyes.
As he exited, another customer walked in almost immediately, an attractive young lady in business casual, with an innocent doe-eyed look. He heard the shop owner come back to life. “Welcome to my little shop! This is the place where – where magic…”
“Where magic what?” he could hear the customer prompt.
“Oh…” the proprietor moaned. “I just can’t do this tonight; I’m not in the mood. Might I interest you in something with lots of pretty colors?”
“Well…yeah,” the customer assured. “It’s why I came in here.”
Richard sighed and walked quickly out of earshot. He wondered if she had to get lost every day to reach her shop, or if she was mentally lost enough to find it on the first try.
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