Richard’s next stop was the building that held Harmony’s headquarters, or more specifically, the church housed there, and even more specifically, a certain erudite parking attendant. A proper thank-you for the youth pastor wouldn’t be out of line, either.

He pulled up to find two squad cars, and another police vehicle, parked in the church’s lot, in their usual haphazard arrangement. Richard wondered if the police required special training to park so badly, and if so, why it hadn’t been on the academy’s curriculum. Perhaps it was tribal knowledge. Richard demurely parked along the curb and crossed the street; approaching the parking lot, he suddenly recognized the extra police vehicle; it belonged to the captain. Shrugging, he continued toward the back door.

He stopped for a coffee at the church’s kiosk. After paying for his brew, he nonchalantly asked the employee if she could point him to Eustace. The barista nervously pointed to a nearby closed door. “He’s in there, meeting with the monsignor.” She then turned away quickly. Richard arched his eyebrows and continued through the door.

He became aware of someone singing a song, but it wasn’t any church hymn he was familiar with. He followed the sound and entered a room with Eustace, Roger the temporary youth pastor, two other priests he didn’t know by name, and an elegantly-dressed older man that must have been the monsignor. He was standing with his head to his forehead, either dizzy or distressed, muttering quietly. Eustace bounced around, doing a silly dance, and rhythmically singing “another one bites the dust” over and over.

“I…I can’t…” the monsignor mumbled. “It’s…I don’t know…wow…what will I ever do…” He stumbled in the direction of the door.

“And another one down, another one down, another one bites the dust!” Eustace continued to sing, wiggling his butt more than had ever happened within the church’s walls put together.

“Did I miss something?” Richard asked.

“We were having a discussion about religion and philosophy,” Roger revealed. “I think Eustace just convinced the monsignor to lose his faith.”

Eustace grinned maniacally at Richard. “I’m gonna get you too! Another one bites the dust!”

The monsignor turned back before leaving the room. “Eustace Abernathy, you really are the devil.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” he crowed.

“Wait,” Richard suddenly interjected. “If he’s the devil, then doesn’t that mean you still believe?”

The monsignor’s sour expression slowly bloomed into a joyous one. “Thank you, my son!” he gushed. “There may be some fight left in this old horse yet!” He sauntered down the hallway, whistling a happy tune.

Richard noticed that Eustace had stopped dancing in mid-step, his mouth hanging open. The three priests looked at him wide-eyed. Finally, Eustace relaxed his pose. “Well played, kid! I wish to re-extend my invitation to join us for philosophical discussions. You’re clearly more than qualified.”

Richard smiled. “Thanks, but I have to work for a living.”

Eustace sat down politely. “So what brings you to our spirited roundtable, then?”

Richard pointed up. “Any idea what the police are doing here? Something to do with Harmony?”

Gloom washed over all their faces. “Yeah,” Roger revealed. “The usual after-the-fact overkill. They’re tearing Tranquility Base apart, looking for anything. I think they’re just sore they didn’t solve the case themselves.” Roger shook his head sadly. “That Captain Doyle is a real piece of work.”

“You don’t say,” Richard deadpanned.

“Get this!” one priest piped up. “He burst into here, threatening to arrest everyone on sight for any reason he could imagine. It took forever to get him to accept that we just lease part of the building, and have nothing whatsoever to do with Harmony. Finally, he stormed off.”

“At least the two policemen with him were kind enough to apologize on his behalf,” the other priest chimed.

“You know Captain Doyle?” Roger asked.

“Only too well,” Richard shuddered. “Best to stay completely out of his way.”

Eustace snickered. “Great minds think alike.”

“I wanted to thank you again,” Richard told Roger. “You saved my life the other day.”

Roger’s beaming grin suddenly emerged. “No need to thank me! That was still the coolest thing I’ve ever done in my life. You should have seen the kids at youth group today! I had them eating out of my hand. They treated me like a rock star! Such a step up from a mere church choir guitarist.” He reached out to shake Richard’s hand. “You’ve helped me more than you will ever know.”

“Well well well, a win-win situation, eh?” Eustace crowed. “I knew I saw great things in you, boy. Keep this up and you can’t help but be a success.”

“Thanks. On that note, I wanted to pick your brain about a few things. Looks like I may need to make an appointment.”

“No need,” Eustace assured. “I think we were ready for a break anyway, weren’t we, gentlemen?”

“I agree,” the first priest blared, standing up quickly. “I could use a break, too,” the second one said, rising to his feet. Both walked toward the exit, haunted looks in their eyes. “And maybe several hours of prayer,” the second priest added as he left. Roger followed them, looking glum.

“If you don’t mind,” Eustace requested, standing up, “can we take this outside? I know it’s warmer there, but we can find some shade.”

“Sure,” Richard concurred. “Lead the way.”

“I gotta get some fresh air,” Eustace snarled as he walked through the doorway. “It smells like old people in here.”

Eustace sat down under an umbrella near the edge of the parking lot; Richard joined him in another chair. “I suppose I should make a perfunctory effort to watch the parking lot,” Eustace offered. “It’s one of my duties, after all.”

Richard felt the cool breeze blow by; together with the shade, it brought the temperature down to something nearing acceptable, not an easy feat in the Tucson July. Eustace settled in comfortably. “Now, what’s on your mind, good sir?”

“Hopefully you’ve heard all about the events in Harmony’s headquarters?”

“You mean when you solved the big case?” Eustace prompted. “I know what Roger told me.”

“Does it surprise you that the holy water worked?”

“Not at all,” Eustace shared. “God or no god, the priests have filled the water with their intention to oppose evil. And even though they’re usually unaware of it, people have a lot more spiritual power than they give themselves credit for.”

“But I thought you weren’t a believer,” Richard pointed out. “I mean, you almost talked a monsignor out of his faith today.”

“You’re not looking at the big picture,” Eustace chided. “Even rational atheists, unwilling to believe in anything beyond what they can sense, tend to cause the very mechanistic reality they believe in; their strongly-held beliefs influence what happens around them, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“Are you saying that we are God?” Richard asked.

“Yes, and no,” Eustace hinted.

“Ugh…can you just be straightforward and clear about the nature of God?”

Eustace looked taken aback. “Well…don’t you just cut to the chase, simply demanding an answer to one of mankind’s oldest questions.”

“I’m sorry,” Richard muttered, looking down. “It was stupid to ask.”

“Not at all,” Eustace corrected. “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, I can answer your question. The bad news is, you’re not going to like it.”

Richard hesitated. “You must tell me! I have to know! I’ve seen enough in the last few days to turn my world completely upside down! And maybe a whole other world, while we’re at it!”

Eustace perked up. “Oh, you’ve seen it?”

“It was beautiful,” Richard related. “And terrifying. And completely devoid of people. Though I learned that’s only because I didn’t go ‘inside’ enough.”

Eustace nodded thoughtfully. “I didn’t realize you’ve had ‘the experience’. You are worthy to hear my answer! Though you’re still not going to like it.”

“I still want to know,” Richard assured.

“You know the drill,” Eustace hinted. “I’m still poverty stricken.”

“Oh…right.” Richard pulled out his wallet, then flashed Eustace a sly look. “Is five bucks enough?”

“You want the nature of God for only five bucks?” Eustace trilled. “I only offer an invisible sky daddy for that.”

Richard laughed. “You win.” He pulled out a twenty dollar bill and handed it over. “Now let’s hear it!”

“Fine, but let me give you another warning…as soon as I tell you, not only are you going to realize that it’s the only possible answer, but that you’re an idiot for not figuring it out on your own.”

“I enjoy finding out I’m an idiot,” Richard asserted. “It means I’m about to be one step closer to being less of an idiot.”

Eustace smiled. “I knew you were worth my time. So…ready?”

“Yes!” he shrilled.

Eustace locked eyes with Richard, held one finger aloft, and waited. “What…?” Richard asked, shifting uncomfortably.

“God…is…one.”

“Come again?”

“God is one. God is everything. God is the universe. God is all possible universes. God is all possible timelines. God is every galaxy, every star, every planet, every person, every animal, every bacterium, every rock, everything. God is everything simultaneously, and all separate existences simultaneously. God is one.”

Richard pondered that for a moment; Eustace continued. “And if you think about it, if you’re asking about the nature of the God of creation, not the one that supposedly wrote books, but the real God…you realize that this is the only possible answer.”

Richard blinked a few times. “You’re right,” he conceded. “And I’m an idiot for not coming to that obvious conclusion.”

“Don’t beat yourself up,” Eustace advised. “Many people go through their entire life without figuring it out.”

“So why isn’t this knowledge more widespread?” Richard asked. “What’s holding it back?”

“Isn’t that obvious, too?” Eustace hinted. “Because no one can use that knowledge to coerce people to act a certain way, to give them money, to become their slaves. Within the context of everyday life, that knowledge has no practical use.”

“And that’s the bad news,” Richard declared.

Eustace smiled. “Got it in one.”