《We Can Go Back》Exit 10
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Lilah sat on the sofa by the window, watching the water pour outside. When she was a child, she always imagined one day the Veil would keep the water back.
Time and time again her father explained to her that wasn’t the Veil’s function. Their people lived—and thrived—underground. They wanted the graying sky for daytime and a black night for night.
Imps welcomed it as well. Tonight, as it rained, she focused on the Guardians on their border.
Rain wasn’t good for imps. They became disoriented and easily lost in it. Lilah touched her arm, searching for her badge that was no longer there. She’d expected to hear a call for help from enforcers.
If someone really meant to rush the gate and maybe bypass a Guardian, a rainy day might do it. It’d be stupid, but it would be doable. She tried to think of why someone would risk something so foolish.
Footsteps patted down the hall, a tender voice with it. “You sure you don’t mind? It’s just till after the rain lets up.”
Lilah brought her mug to her lips, eyes on the city.
“These pictures are incredible. Did your father do them all?” Gwen sat down across from her, a warm cup in hand. “They should be on display.”
For as long as Lilah could remember, she’d thought of Escott’s family as being her own. Gwen was a little sister she hunted for with her brother. Seeing her now was painful, though.
Lilah asked, “What’s with the wig?”
Gwen blushed. “Is it obviously a wig? I suppose you’d know because you know me so well.” She tried to fluff it. “Figured I’d wear it in case Gus-Gus was here. Now that you and my brother are taking a break, I can chase Gus without shame.”
Taking a sip from the mug, Lilah muttered, “You kinda already do.”
“Har, har.” Gwen stared out the window, too. “Only till you two get back together.”
Lilah fought to calm the pit in her stomach. “We’re not getting back together.”
“Course, you are. You two are the most perfect couple. Course, you are.”
Mute, Lilah decided to take comfort in the possibility that not everyone knew the full details of the breakup. So far the public shaming had been polite. She thought she got off easy. Gus had taken it the worst; he was too humiliated to speak to her. That was probably true, but he couldn’t be more disappointed with her than she was with herself.
She’d thought herself tough. Where did all this cowardice come from?
“You haven’t heard from your dad at all?” Gwen asked. “I can’t imagine my dad picking up and leaving like that. He’s so involved. And he could get away with leaving. There’s enough of us to handle the young, ya know?”
Instead of answering, Lilah asked, “What’s with the wig?”
Gwen touched her head again but lowered her hand. “What about it? I got the biggest one.”
Lilah sighed. Even if Gus was emotionally available, he wouldn’t be interested in little-sister-like Gwen, long hair or not.
“You think it’s silly, too, huh?”
“I think it’s important to be happy with yourself,” Lilah insisted. “You don’t have any power like a Newbreed, that’s a good thing.”
Gwen frowned. “Yeah, we just age faster. I don’t get why that’s fair. Boys get imp features and a slower growth, and Newbreed girls just age faster.”
“It’s not necessarily like that.” Lilah tried to assure her, though she didn’t quite believe her own words. “We’re still learning. You’ve slowed now for two years. For all you know, you keep this age for longer than the boys.”
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Gwen fixed her wig. “Or maybe we get abilities like E’s. You never know. I’ve read and reread all the information possible. It’s something to consider.”
It probably was, but there was plenty of time for that. Lilah hoped she was wrong when she asked, “And the wig is...to appear more like an Elemental?”
Letting out a sigh, Gwen dragged it off, revealing a shock of red curls.
“It just looks better than this. Red hair doesn’t indicate much power.”
Lilah groaned. “Enough already.” She wanted to scream you don’t have a prayer but settled on something else, something truthful. “Gus-Gus is in a bad place right now. My actions didn’t make it any better.”
They sat in companionable silence until Lilah offered the plate beside her.
“Have a cookie.”
Gwen refused. “No way. I can’t be impotent and heavy.”
“You’re seventeen. Enjoy a cookie.”
“After I marry your brother, sure.”
Rolling her eyes, Lilah went back to watching the rain. “It’s gonna be hell out there for Newbreeds.” She knew Escott didn’t need the well-wishing, but she yearned to talk to him. Equally, she yearned to pretend he never existed. He was right about her, she was broken inside. How else could it be explained?
The door opened downstairs and Lilah sat up. She hoped it was her father.
Gus-Gus lumbered up the stairs, peeling off his shirt.
Gwen dragged on that wig fast. He paused at the sight of them.
“Gwen...is everything all right?”
“All right as ever,” she said, hopping to her feet.
Hair plastered to his face, Gus nodded. “Okay. I’m about to head back out. We’ll find him, don’t worry.”
Gwen and Lilah both traded a glance.
“I’m sorry?” Gwen asked.
“Essy. He was transporting a prisoner. The rain got in the way and the Newbreeds had to run. We’ll find him, though. I promise. I’ve just come to get my medic gear.” He paused before entering his room. “Have you lost weight?”
Gwen colored. “Just a bit.”
Gus cocked his head to the side. “Hmm. You usually carry your weight so well, though.” He rushed inside his room.
Lilah stood. Escott was missing. Surely, he’d be fine. The medical report she’d forced herself to read said Newbreeds were still recovering from the poison and no one knew how long that would take. But Escott was Escott. He’d be fine.
She looked down when Gwen took a handful of cookies.
Their gazes met and Gwen shrugged. “What?”
Lilah groaned. “Give it a rest.” Before Gus could leave, Lilah caught up. “Are they calling in his crew to conduct the search?”
Gus stared at her, surprised she’d spoken to him at all. “What do you care? It’s only Escott, right?”
Numb and silent, Lilah fought to respond. Eventually, Gus buckled the last of his gun harness as he hurried down the stairs. “Gwen, are you staying here? Do you need a lift home? I can tell your father where you are if you want.”
Gwen hurried to the stairs and called down. “I’m keeping the future sister-in-law company. Don’t worry.”
Lilah cringed. She was certain to show Gwen out but instead of locking herself up at home, she started to walk.
Thirty minutes later found her somewhere unexpected.
She wasn’t sure what she was doing in front of Lander’s door. She spent a good half hour there, though, knocking to no avail.
Today, the distant imp Guardians looked restless, swaying in their sleep more than usual. If they were lucky, Winrose’s father wouldn’t realize his woman’s death and wake up enraged.
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There was more than enough fury to go around.
Rather than wait at Lander’s door in the rain like a madwoman, Lilah resolved to go home.
The door of her house was ajar. She stared at it, half hoping it was Lander. A creek of the door prompted two voices to stop.
In time, one whispered, “Did you leave the door open?”
The other voice answered, “Shit.”
Grabbing her gun, Lilah hiked up her pretty frock and hurried up the stairs. She hoped the idiots didn’t run into the hallway. Instinct would tell the morons to escape through that big door in their path, but it led to a certain fall.
Lilah jumped into the hall in time to see the door close. She hurried to it, expecting to find someone hanging onto the frame for dear life. Nothing. Nobody.
A fast sweep of the house told her the rooms were empty.
When she rushed back down the stairs, however, intent on finding a few dead bodies outside, she bumped into someone and fired.
Groaning, Lander held his side. “Damn it.”
He slid to the floor. As much as Lilah wanted to check on him, she trusted that his Newbreed body would heal fast. The second floor wasn’t high enough to guarantee death, but it would mean a few broken bones should anyone fall.
No one. Nothing and no one surrounded the house.
She made sure to bolt the door when she got back inside. Lander wasn’t on the stairs where she’d left him.
“Lanny?”
“Yeah. I’m here,” Lander said from the hall above. “This fucking door doesn’t lead anywhere.”
Lilah rushed to him in time to help pull him back up.
He lay face down rather than get up, still clutching his side.
“This fucking hurts,” he lamented. “A lot.”
“Yeah. Sorry. I had it redesigned to slow Newbreeds up. Come here. I need good lighting to tweeze the bits of metal out.”
“Possible Newbreed heading for the northern gate. Proceed with caution.”
Lilah tried to find the badge.
Lying on his side, Lander reached into his pants pocket and held it up. “That’s why I came by. There’s another chase, but it’s not me.”
Taking the badge finally, Lilah affixed it to her shoulder but went back to work on getting the needles out of Lander’s side. They were painful and he looked pitiful like that on the ground.
“Were you looking for me?” he asked with a flinch.
“No,” Lilah lied. She leaned in close and pulled yet another needle out. “Hold still.”
She got most of them and counted eleven. One was missing.
Lander tried to shift. “I think you got ‘em.”
“No. There’s one more.” She met his gaze then went about undoing his trousers. “I’m pretty sure I know where. Hold on.”
When she paused, Lander held his breath. “Something wrong?”
“You’ve got hair on your groin,” Lilah observed. She looked into his confused eyes and explained, “Essy doesn’t. Figured Newbreeds just didn’t.”
Lander caught her hand and reminded her, “I’m nothing like Essy.”
Lilah twisted herself free and pulled his trousers lower. She managed to keep some privacy between them.
“There it is. Wow... that looks thin.” She had to break his skin in several areas just to get a good grip on it and pull. The cry that came with it broke her heart. “Sorry.”
“Fuck.”
“Sorry.” Lilah lay before him, unsure what to say. “You shouldn’t be here. It won’t look good.”
He traced her face with his fingertips and said, “I wouldn’t care...I mean, I don’t. Maybe Essy doesn’t get it, but I understand.”
Lilah teared up, and that wasn’t an acceptable reaction. Not now, not after all she’d done.
“He saw it as abandonment, but you saw it as freedom.”
“It was abandonment,” Lilah admitted. “Don’t try to make it better than it is.”
“I didn’t say it was his freedom,” Lander said.
They stared at one another, ignoring the countless announcements on the badge, saying nothing.
Most of the bleeding had stopped by the time Lander scooted closer, pulling her to him. The kiss on her throat felt strange at first but when their lips met, she gave in.
“Looking to paralyze me again?” Lilah teased.
Lander took another kiss. “I told you, I’ll have to be worked up. So that’ll depend on you.”
A noise from the ground floor made her freeze. Heavy footfall came with it.
“Lilah!” Gus took the steps two by two but careened to a halt at the sight of them. His jaw dropped. “Well, this is unexpected. If Essy really had died, would you have even waited for the body to get cold?”
Face hot, Lilah struggled to her feet. “I can explain.” She couldn’t but hopefully those words would buy her some time.
“Enforcers are mobilizing. A Newbreed’s rushing the northern gate. Didn’t you hear? Or did you have your mouth too full to answer that call?”
Lander rose like a ghost. “Say that again, you prick.”
Lilah stepped between them. “Don’t. I have to go.”
Gus looked the hall over and stepped back. “What happened? Where are all the pictures? What’d you do with all the pictures?”
As he rushed through the rooms searching, Lilah took the bare hallway in for the first time. The walls were empty.
Another flash of her badge made her groan and she dipped into her bedroom and ripped the dress off. She suited up by the time Gus came out of his room, too.
He was dressed as a medic, but with body armor. “If one of our border imps awaken without possible enemies to eat, he’s gonna feed on us instead. So let’s go.”
Today was the first time in weeks she allowed herself to acknowledge just how pale her brother had become in the last month. He’d lost some weight, too, which made him look worse. Still, his affliction wasn’t a weakness, but rather a buildup of his power.
“Can you stay with the ground crew at least? I don’t want you floating up high where you can be swatted,” Lilah said.
Gus barely cut her a glance as he rushed down the stairs and out the door.
“I wanna come with you,” Lander said.
That was a bad idea.
“I’m not asking.” Lander fell to his hands and feet as he rushed downstairs.
“Wow, he’s really fast.”
Lilah let out a scream. “Distance. There’s something called privacy and distance, Gwen.” She flushed when a thought occurred. “How long have you been here?”
She turned to Gwen in time to look out the window and see one of the Guardians rock back and forth before he stood.
“Holy....”
Gwen was slower to turn. “I’ve never seen one rise before.”
It did rise, though, towering over most of the city. Eyes closed, the imp steadied himself, his long arms dangled at his sides.
“Do you think they know?” Gwen asked.
“They have to know. He’s fucking huge.”
Gwen said, “You know...you’d think they’d find a way to give them clothes. That alone is going to be hard to explain at tomorrow’s tots lesson.”
“I have to go,” Lilah said, rushing into her own bedroom. “They’ve called in enforcers for this.”
Taking the steps two by two, Lilah charged the door. She opened it and met up on Karen Blackwell. She had to blink herself awake to realize it wasn’t Karen, but rather, one of her ‘adopted’ daughters. “Rosie....”
“The imp’s awake,” she said. “They actually got the imp awake. Listen. Take this. Take this and see if it’ll stop that stuff from agitating it. Take this.”
She dropped the large metal tube and Lilah caught it. As hard as it was to see through the rain, Lilah made Rosie out as she hurried into the awaiting car and drove off.
Gwen peered over Lilah’s shoulder. “Rosemarie Blackwell...I hope your mother doesn’t find out about this.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Lilah asked.
“Is she honestly suggesting that Karen Blackwell found a way to wake our Guardians at will without the imp leader? To what end?” Gwen nodded to the container. “And to come here to deliver some sort of antidote? Whatever. That’s probably more poison. A dead Guardian is more valuable than awakened one. I say take that to HQ or dump it right here.”
Lilah gripped the container and put it in the back of her gun harness as she got her helmet.
“You really are like your brother. Always a pessimist.” Her bike wasn’t far, and she guessed that’s how Rosie knew she was home. Whatever the reason, she’d figure it out later. “Stay out of trouble, Gwen. And stay outta the rain!”
“No worries there,” Gwen called. “I’ll help myself to some more cookies, shall I?”
Riding a bike on wet road took its toll; Lilah arrived at HQ later than expected.
A long line of Newbreeds, most struggling to stand up straight, listened to the Chief with interest.
“Escott’s my worry, too. He doesn’t fall victim to the rain and he’ll no doubt head below ground if anything happens. Two imps are going to scout around for him. That won’t help the Guardian. He’s awake, he’s disoriented, and he’s calm. We need to keep it that way. Winrose?”
A hanging head went up. “Sir?”
“Your father’s a Guardian. Which one exactly? He can calm the other one.”
Winrose didn’t answer for some time. Finally, he said, “By luck or bad luck...he’s the one awake. I can sense him.”
The Chief fell silent. Jan left his side, conveying her findings with others.
“Then he’s grieving. He’s learned that his wife’s gone and he’s become restless,” the Chief said. “Okay. That makes this all the more harder.”
Lilah gripped the tube at her back, wondering if she should share this information.
When Jan returned, the Chief whispered to her, “Wake up the imps. Wake them up now.”
“But they hibernate for another month. We might not be able to wake them,” Jan answered.
The Chief came to a conclusion. “Winrose, I know you’re still grieving, too, but you need to calm your father. We’ll get you close enough, and you talk to him.”
Winrose lost color. “Sir. I’ve...I’ve never spoken to him in my life. He’s always been asleep.”
“Don’t worry,” Jan said, “he’ll still listen to you.”
“Considering that he’s got only one child...he’d better,” someone muttered.
The only other option was to kill the Guardian. That would be no easy task. An imp his size would only succumb to another Guardian and until Winrose, Lilah had never met a Guardian’s child. How was that conception even possible?
“Right. Let’s get mobile. Keep in mind that if that Guardian steps out of formation, he leaves a crack in the wall. Since it’s raining, that means less Topsiders can get in, but it’s still a shaky barrier until he’s down again or the others shift and tighten our border. That’ll shrink our domain but it’s better than losing it at all.”
“Sir.” Lilah raised her hand. “Isn’t this the same gate those smugglers tried to reach? The Northern Gate? Coincidence?”
“Not even slightly,” the Chief agreed. “That’s why we’re taking Newbreeds.”
“They’ll be useless in the rain.”
“Not underground. We stay low. If you see a real imp down there, you run. But assuming they’re hibernating, too, we’ll use that to our advantage. Get that Guardian back down again at all costs.” He pointed to Winrose. “You ride with me. Don’t worry. We won’t hurt your father. We just want him to calm again.”
Considerably paler than usual, Winrose nodded. “Yes, sir.”
The team dispersed, albeit slower than usual. Lilah hurried to the Chief and handed the tube over.
“I got this from Rosemarie Blackwell.”
The Chief groaned. “Not you, too.” He tried to walk around Lilah, but she blocked his path. Finally, he met her gaze which probably took effort. “Listen, I’ve thought of you as my own daughter even before Escott said you two were getting married. So when...well...it hurt,” he admitted. “It hurt. But we have to work together. I’m sorry, Lilah, this is as close as I can get to you.”
All Lilah’s drive faded. She couldn’t really blame him.
“So let’s be professional about it. Give the info to Jan and she’ll relay it to me.”
“Don’t bet on it,” Jan said, walking by. “She’s the last backstabber I want to talk to.”
And they left; the Chief on his bike, Jan in her vehicle. They left.
Lilah stared at the tube for ages before she put it behind her again and hurried to join the effort. It hurt. But she had no one else to blame.
You dumped the man’s son when you thought he was dying, you idiot. Of course he doesn’t want to talk to you.
Now when she thought about it, she felt foolish for having the nerve to address the man directly. Yes, they worked together. Yes, he was her boss. But he was also a parent, and he was only human.
Whatever it took to get this situation remedied, Lilah needed to keep her head down and stay out of trouble.
The earth shook, forcing Lilah to stop. This was new.
She looked out over at the northern gate in time to see the Guardian step out of formation and lumber into the street. Wires fell off the Guardian’s shoulders, a sure indication he’d moved too far. He was officially off the grid shared by the other Guardians.
Lilah cursed the rain—it wouldn’t help things. The Guardian’s humongous mouth gaped; it leaned forward and let out a thundering hiss so frightful Lilah almost lost balance.
Bells clanged; people screamed, and it was with good reason. The first building to fall victim was a small shop, flattened when the Guardian fell against it while trying to catch his balance.
Hopefully he wouldn’t crush anyone. Wagons bustled past, but they were dragged by regular enforcers, a covering for the roof less these outdated weapons get wet. To date, their most effective tool against Topsiders and rogue imps were...imps—and Newbreeds. Even Elementals weren’t as widely used.
Green body after green body tore past her. Imps. Real imps. Some slid in their effort to take a sharp turn, but many more kept on. A few hover bikes passed by with an imp clinging for dear life. That had to be rough, even Escott hated being off the ground—a bike was as far as he’d go.
The Guardian was in a temper, hissing and breaking all in its path by the time Lilah arrived.
Up high, the Chief hovered in the rain with Winrose, struggling to meet the raging Guardian’s gaze.
The imps on the scene had all but curled into a ball by the time they arrived.
“Get them underground,” Jan screamed above the noise. “They’ve just awoken from hibernation. It’s not working. This is making them sick. Find a hole and drop them in it.”
Many enforcers took to the task rather than the Guardian. One thing made Lilah curious—Winrose. He didn’t fall victim to the ill effects of the rain. He seemed...utterly uncaring of it.
Silence fell over the enforcers. Lilah saw why.
Jan ran from group to group, insisting, “Don’t spook him. We’re trying to calm him down. Don’t spook him.”
Winrose got close. The Chief asked something, maybe permission to drop him on top of the Guardian’s shoulder or back. whatever the request, Winrose fervently refused.
The Guardian’s yellow eyes took one look at Winrose and then rolled sideways, going in opposite directions until only white was visible.
And then it fell on all fours. It was gearing up. If a rampaging imp Guardian looked anything like a rampaging Newbreed, it could take days to calm him.
“No. No. No,” Jan pleaded. “Don’t run. Please don’t run.”
Lilah charged the Guardian before another thought occurred to her. She grabbed the tube from behind her and gained speed. When she jumped, she shot a ball of fire from her hand to help propel her forward, right against that Guardian’s knee.
She held on but wouldn’t for long against the slick green skin. Giving it this might kill it, but that was far better than it destroying their entire city. She brought the tube down hard, digging into the Guardian’s flesh. As expected, the tube felt lighter—it was emptying.
The Guardian swatted at her. Then he flicked his foot and she lost her grip, tube in hand.
Instead of the Guardian calming as promised, it leapt, landing on another building that could barely handle the weight. It jumped to two more buildings but missed its grip on the third one and took a fall.
Silence came with it.
They waited, and eventually the Guardian’s shallow breathing came to a stop.
“It’s dead,” someone observed.
Lilah trembled as she took the image in. Laying face first in the road, most of his body sprawled against two buildings, the Guardian lay dead. A few minutes later, the rain stopped.
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