《Suddenly, a succubus》Chapter 55 - Pick your fights
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In the distance I can see the hills quickly flattening to plains covered in yellowed tall grass, lit here and there by pillars of light descending from amidst the heavy clouds. Very dramatic. On the other direction... south, I guess, there's sea, stark greyish blue that melds into dirty brown near the coast thanks to the mud and trash flowing down from the city. Sea gulls seem to find the city much more reliable source of juicy morsels than the sea, noisily zip zapping between the hills and shamelessly snatching anything edible.
Etmi Freeport... this city seems to just love its stairs. There are more of them than there are normal roads. Built on several hills, this town seems to equate status with elevation in literal and shamelessly unsubtle way. The poshest, richest mansions stand atop the hills, crowned with many towers competing for the highest position from where to look down on all others. Their polished bronze roofs shine in the occasional sunshine, as do the whitewash walls that give the city a vaguely Mediterranean feel.
The lower you go, the more humble and stained the houses get. The very bottom, which has the largest area in the town, consists of desolate slums. The unpleasant, filthy mire ground is covered in shacks and hovels frankensteined from whatever materials people got their hands on.
I watch as the life goes on, oblivious to the doom hanging upon this city. Well, assuming those three nerds actually can fulfill their plan...
At half-way down on one of the seven hills, the sea wind isn't quite enough to blow away the smell of waste and rotten fish that emits from the streets below me. From here I can see the multitude of slaves and commoners swarming like ants, and the occasional palanquins of the decadent nobles being the hive queens. Even without any misanthropic streaks this place would bring to one's mind a hive of insects, both because of its inhabitants and its looks.
Hive... Hah. I got to say it. I just have to.
"Etmi Freeport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
"You've been here before, mistress? Ah, of course you have. Mistress knows everything!"
"(Stop with the 'mistress' already, you idiot.)"
"(AhhHhH!!! Sorry mi-- master!)"
The elf has been glued onto me ever since I released her, and takes every chance to sing my praises. But this degree of boot-licking is not just embarrassing, but also counter-productive to our goal. For I am but a humble masked monk, by the name of... what was it again? Ado-something? Well, not important.
With only a bit of charred face stuck on the inside of my mask, and clothes only somewhat burned by a magical mishap my psycho elf companion... I mean Silvana had, I'm back from the ancient sewers to tell that there was nothing of interest in there, definitely no evil rituals being cooked up or anything! Oh, the cat? Mr. Whiskers the cat adventurer is hunting rats in a better place... it's on the north side of the town, don't worry about him.
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That's the story I'm going with, anyway.
I'm pretty much same height as the mask guy was, and these loose robes combined with some heavy duty bindings on chest combined with my 'sore throat' making me unable to talk should make the disguise. In Silvana's opinion, that is. Which may or may not be right. I'm not sure if the charmed elf paid that much attention to her team mates, or any living beings that aren't me, since she's apparently dedicated her life to Aisian religion now...
Anyhow, with the elf taking the lead we can bluff the rest of the adventurers to report back to the assembly with the false data showing all clear. The Harmbringers probably would have preferred 'kill 'em all' method instead, but that's what you get for not bothering to participate in the planning. It's the plan B though. It's always the plan B.
And so we make our way to the tavern the other four are staying in the lower middle tier of one of the hills of the city. Up and down the many, many stairs, plowing our way through the swarms of unwashed people.
"Master monk! For you, the finest cloths only for--"
"DON'T TOUCH MI... master with your clammy hands! Shoo! AWAY WITH YOU!"
Another street vendor grabbed my arm, trying to sell me his wares, and Silvana again angrily intercepted the attempt.
I can only imagine how bad it'd have been if I hadn't worn a full body disguise... Even now I get what feels like average of dozen people per 100 metres making purposeful close contact. Whether it's hawkers trying to drag me into their shops, thiefs trying to pick my non-existent pockets, or whores bumbing their bumpers at me in attempt to seduce me... personal space means nothing in this town.
Some of my incarnations enjoyed all attention, but for me this is poison.
***
The tavern is built in the hill like all other buildings above the lowest tiers. The buildings on the area are better built than any below us, but they are all more or less run down, like this are had been more upscale in the past.
A stylized co-- rooster is drawn on the sign, wearing a bright yellow crown. This is where our targets - the four other adventurers from Silvana's group - are on standby.
I follow the elf inside the dimly lit, only moderately filthy tavern. It's bit early, so there are only few other customers. It's easy to spot the adventurers that Silvana points out at the farthest corner.
"(You take the lead like we agreed.)"
"(Yes!)"
There's a huge bear of a man with a Stalin moustache and iron plate armor - the heaviest armor I've ever seen in this world, a swordsman-type who gives hot headed vibe with his almost-buzzcut hair, a woman with messy hair looking completely uninterested in her surroundings and smelling like dogs all the way here, and finally an awkward-looking magician elf who looks like the type who'd collect anime figurines. ...I get the feeling the four who got captured left these behind on their scouting trip on purpose.
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The moustached man mountain notices us first.
"Oh, Silvana, Adopus! We were getting worried about--"
However, my sneaky plan to misdirect them lasts about four seconds, as the swordsman let's out a scream and points at me...
"Whaah!?"
Did I forget bit of burned face on the mask? Or did my disguise fail!? Despite being way thinner, I managed to make a passable disguise thanks to the loose black robes. Only problem was the chest, but I securely bound it, so...
Gah! Of course... On the many stairs of this city the binding lost the battle against gravity. With heavy heart, and heavier chest, I must admit my defeat to laws of physics.
The swordsman is quick to point this out, and the wizard and tank join in.
"Adopus doesn't have a huge rack like you do!! Or any rack for that matter! Except maybe a shoe rack..."
"Did someone turn him into a woman? (...With a great rack. Thank you whoever did this.)"
"Hmm hmm, it certainly is a fine rack."
Will you quit with the racket! The woman of the group just lazily picks her teeth while the three men make a fuss. However, Silvana loses her patience before I do...
"DON'T STARE AT IT! Only I am allowed to look at mistress' rack!"
"Mistress? This is that person you always went on about?"
...That stupid elf! I could have still bluffed this as 'lol, I was a woman all along' with a bit of sneaky charm helping, but... Ah. I don't think I can use charm anymore - not when the blessing has drained my powers. But now that she has established that I'm completely different person, I can't misdirect them easily in any case. Also 'rack'?! Et tu Silvana?
I remove the mask that is useless now. It smelt bad anyway. But is it too late to fix this situation? I'll be damned if I don't at least try.
"Couldn't fool you, huh. And here I was going to prank Silvana's new group with Adopt... Adp... the monk guy's mask."
The other adventurers stay further back remaining cautiously curious. They are still uncertain whether this was really a practical joke or if I'm a threat.
Silvana hovers around me protectively, as the swordsman takes a closer look at me.
"She looks more like a courtesan than an adventurer to me!"
"Heresy! Mistress would be great at both!"
"Hey, I'm not complaining!"
Huh? ...I'm unsure whether I should be happy that they're too distracted to be suspicious, or annoyed that his impression of me is that of a high class whore. Well, to be fair a classic succubus wouldn't be so far from that anyway. Not that I'm your classic succubus. I've resigned to being only technically succubus...
The swordsman takes on a sly look and nudges at Silvana.
"So Silvana, what say you... can I borrow your 'girlfriend'?"
"WHaat!? NOOOOOOO! I'll kill you first! I'LL--"
The discussion ended up on this path then... Is this because the remnants of my lust demon power influence their thoughts, or is this guy just naturally horny?
In any case, I've had enough of this. And never mind my annoyance, the elf beside me is just about to explode. Also, I need to derail this before they remember to inquire where masked monk and talking cat are... I doubt I could fool them about both of them now, so there's no point in trying.
Without saying anything I spill the nearest tankard at the sword-douche. Instead of the classic way of pouring it at the offending person's head, I spilled it at his trousers though.
"Wwhaaat!? Stop it! Everyone will think I pissed myself!"
"Exactly."
They all stumble to rise up, with the rest of them more surprised than angry. The sword-douche angrily exclaims at me while the mage jeers at him.
"Fuck you bitch. Why'd you go and do that?!"
"You were annoying."
His face goes bright red with anger, while the mage snidely needles him.
"Don't think I'll go easy on you!"
"Hahah. ######'s equal opportunity jerk. He means that!"
"Shut up back there! And you, whore or whatever you are, you will--"
Without saying anything I toss contents of another tankard at him.
"Pfhht! What the hell is your--"
I quickly pilfer yet another tankard from another table and toss it too.
"Phfaah! Cough cough! ... Stop wasting ale, alright!?"
"Fine."
Strangely enough that seems to have mellowed out this hot head's mood a bit.
But what should I do with them? The objective is to ensure they and the assembly won't bother the mages who summoned me. I don't think the mage trio would be happy with anything less than certainty of death though.
I take a look around. Fighting them inside this claustrophobic tavern would favor their side, especially since I'm having doubts about my strength and healing capabilities, so first I need to lead them outside...
The big man who has been mostly so far silent rises up and gestures us to calm down. For his huge frame his manner is oddly harmless looking.
"Ah... I'm sorry for ######, he isn't really--"
"If it's a fight you want, I suggest we take it outside."
"Fight? But..."
Raising my hand, I interrupt him before he can go on. I need to kill them, and making it look like a continuation of a dispute in bar will make certain my summoners won't be implicated here. 'Dead? Oh well, these things happen with adventurer rabble'. That's what their employers will think, most likely. Hopefully that'll be enough to make them forget or delay the sending of more to scout the sewers.
The adventurer I taunted looks a tad confused by now, while the mage is finding all this funny and the big tank of a man looks saddened. The woman has been silent all this time and looks unreadable.
Silvana has been mercifully keeping her mouth shut, being too busy making starry eyes at me. She looks like I just did something impossibly cool. Did this hit a fantasy of hers?
"Silvana, let's go."
"Yes!"
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