A flicker!

With that flutter of sensation I fall out of the trance I had somehow found myself in, lose my balance and tumble to the floor.

I quickly take stock of myself. I’m lying in a sweaty mess, limbs all over the place as I’m sprawled on the floor while staring up into my wooden ceiling. That, however, doesn’t matter one bit. Because I felt it.

I felt… something.

I rise up from the floor and start feeling out my body, the sensations within it, what might have changed.

I definitely feel sticky, tired, and even a little dizzy. But no matter how hard I examine myself I can’t find any evidence of that flicker for all I try and I know, I know, that even for the briefest instant, it was there.

Taking a few breaths to steady my heartbeat and collect myself, I get back on my feet, take the opening stance, and try it again.

Once more I follow the motions listed out and illustrated by the book, but what’s different this time is that I’m searching for something instead, not simply grasping at straws.

Trying it again the motions feel even more awkward than they had been at the beginning, but soon enough I find myself falling into the rhythm of the motions like before as I start searching for that… something again, that I hope, may be mana.

I repeat the motions again. And again. And again. And again.

Until just before what I think may have all very well been some sort of delusion to begin with, I feel it again, that something.

…that…flicker.

And just as before the feeling jolts me out of my limbic trance, causing me to tumble to the floor in a sweaty and panting mess.

But that doesn’t matter.

I’m convinced now.

That feeling, that something… it was mana.

I’m sure of it.

With no forethought and only hoping to try and get it back I try to prop myself back up, only to find myself suddenly falling back down instead.

My arms…they had collapsed underneath me.

Stunned, I start examining my body only to discover, I’m exhausted.

My limbs are weak and achy, I’m out of breath, I’m parched for thirst and also quite light headed.

Looking around I can actually see that outside my window are the very first rays of a new day making their way up and over the distant horizon across the sea.

Without realising it, I had spent the whole night performing the baptism again and again, over and over, determined to get that flicker again.

…Hmmm.

Now well and truly woken from my stupor though, I start putting my thoughts back in order again and come to the quick conclusion that I’m going to have to stop this for now and try again later.

Following this decision I went downstairs and cleaned myself off in the wash area and after that was done started making breakfast. A little while later Kara woke up and joined me and we both ate breakfast for the morning at the dinner table.

The mood was somber and our conversation sparse, a feeling of finality was hanging in the air, but also one of acceptance, for what we both knew was going to happen and how we should enjoy our last days together as best we can.

We discussed casual topics like what I had heard at the marketplace, whether either of us thought that we might actually have someone ever actually come into the side branch, or if someone will come around for the selection for that matter.

On that note, I think I should mention that in all the time that I had spent here with Kara, absolutely no one had ever come in.

Because of where we were situated in the vicinity of the slums we were of course meant to cater to the Institute needs of the people therein, but being the poor and unfortunate people that they were, no one had any need of coming in here to read (if they even could) and the children around the area never believed themselves having a chance at being selected, so never bothered showing up for the selection. This means that Kara and I had lived in the Side Branch unbothered for the past nine years, just reading and keeping the large building clean and tidy.

Following breakfast and our quiet chat, I went off to do my custodial work while Kara went back to her desk as per usual.

Naturally after having spent the whole of the previous night putting my body through repeated rigorous exercises my physical labours felt especially burdensome today. When I got through all my work at the end of the day as best I could and retired to my room for the night, although wanting to try out Kara's book’s baptism again I had nowhere near the energy to do so, and so I immediately plopped myself down into bed and fell asleep.

The day after this and in the weeks ahead however, for the first time, I put off continual reading as I always did in my in between moments and instead focused myself on my new obsession, performing my new Baptism.

I did it everyday. No breaks. Always again and again until I made sure I felt that flicker. Over time and with my loads of hard work the amount of repetitions in between became fewer and fewer I proudly noticed. It wasn’t until finally after two months that I could feel the flicker every single time I performed it.

But that of course, put me at a deadlock.

Despite how I could manage to get the flicker of mana every single time, there was no progress after that whatsoever. For over a month I repeated the movements recorded, over and over, again and again, and read and re-read the technique manual repeatedly all in the hope of finding what, if anything, I was doing wrong or missing, but it was to no avail.

It was in this new and fresh defeat however, that something clicked into place.

One night, looking through the technique’s baptism again, I finally realised something I had completely overlooked. Kara’s father’s technique, I actually finally noticed for the first time, was a technique of the physical strata for a particular earthen affinity. This affinity was meant to make a person's body dense like the earth but also malleable like the soil so it could make a warrior resilient and hard to push around.

But what I realised was that maybe… I just don’t fit this affinity.

I supposedly have no mana but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I don’t have a mana affinity. Who knows?

Elated by this new insight, I now understood that what I was feeling surely had to be mana, it had to be, and the reason that this baptism doesn’t work for me as it should might be that it isn’t the right one. What I needed to do if I wanted this Baptism thing to work was try different versions for other Warriorhood techniques.

Experiencing this new epiphany sent my mind back to something Kara had said months prior when she gave me her father’s book. So I quickly realised that I had something at my fingertips that could actually help me out with my conundrum.

Looking over to my bedside table I saw a pile of books that I had left there for months, at the bottom of which was what I was looking for: “The Warriorhood Baptismal Technique Compendium Index”.

Taking it back over to my desk, I opened it up and started reading.

The contents… were quite extraordinary.

*************************************************************************************************************

“Kara, can I talk to you about… something?” I asked as I stood in front of her desk.

“...Of course Barde. What do you want to talk about.” She answered, mirroring my hesitation.

I hadn’t been reading at all the past few months and so the usual queries I posed to Kara about my readings and the discussions we further had about them had also disappeared, so our communication had taken a hit. Plus, though we had never discussed the book Kara had previously bestowed upon me and what I may be doing with it, we had both silently agreed to never ever talk about it.

“Well. I’ve been reading The Warriorhood Baptismal Technique Compendium Index and I had a few questions about it.”

“Oh” she exclaimed. “Well, go ahead”.

“Sure. What I really wanted to ask is, are there really 2809 different warriorhood techniques in the Coalition’s Corps archives?”

“Oh that. No…” Kara started.

“Phew. I was about to say.”

“There are actually 5651.” she finished.

“...”

Huh.

Seeing the dumbstruck look on my face Kara actually chuckled briefly before she went about explaining it better.

“You didn’t factor in the techniques for women and only accounted for the ones for men. For male Warriors the Coalition has the option of 2809 techniques to choose from but for women there’s actually 2842”

“How are there so many?!” I asked aghast.

“Well, think about it. The number of mana affinities number in the hundred to thousands and the index you read is the main evidence of that. As the Coalition grew so too did its number of Warriorhood techniques. The continued creation of them was to ensure that no one who had the talent to be fighting on the front lines was left behind due to the lack of a proper technique not being available to them. So, the Coalition put a lot of resources into making sure that didn’t happen. Do you understand so far?”

I nodded.

“So naturally as time passed, the Scholar Association produced more and more techniques as they investigated the mana affinity spectrum, which were then used by millions upon millions of Warriors who tried and tested them on the battlefield to determine their viability to reach the Master stage, eventuating in their existence. Actually, that area of research has stalled for over a thousand years because they couldn’t figure out any other techniques, so no one in the Institute has tried to make any more for some time and have accepted that they’ve hit some kind of limit.”

“What about the female techniques, how come there are more for women?” I retorted.

“Well, that you can lay at the feet of the many perverts in the Institute. Every technique they could find was developed into a pair for either men or women with the exception of the sexual warriorhood techniques used by the Bordello. Back then, they were oh so very enthusiastic with their research, that they managed to create over thirty different and distinct sexual Warrior techniques for women alone. It was supposedly a very… rewarding project for the researchers.”

Well… I can’t really argue with that.

“The Index you were reading is basically just a list with brief descriptions of every technique in the entire compendium, all of which add up to 45 volumes for men and 46 volumes for women.” Kara added.

“Where are they held? They're not in here, I would have seen them.”

“There is a complete collection of the volumes held at every city Main Branch across Calzyn”

“Why would they hold it there and not at the Martial Association Branch?”

“Because, they want people to read them and use them.”

“But, that doesn’t make any sense. I mean, think about, well, you know.” I try to say, while keeping our secret unspoken.

“That’s a different matter entirely. A baptism by itself is essentially useless and when used completely determines the way of your Path with the exception of using some very drastic measures.”

“Because of this, if someone did perform a Baptism they would still have to completely rely on the Coalition anyway if they wanted to proceed with being a Warrior. That’s the main reason why I’ve never committed to using… that, because only through the Coalition should I be able to grow stronger and only the anointed are given access. Having just a baptism is all I could get away with because as a bonus of those who can read Cali, most of whom are low standing Coalition members anyway, they usually go to a Scholar Association Main Branch and pick a Baptism of their choosing so they can have prolonged healthiness and longevity. It’s a way the Coalition wins favour from them.” Kara explains.

“My father really did love me,” Kara sighed as she went off onto a new tangent. “but what he did was extremely dangerous and remarkably stupid. His affection for me and his obsession with the sanctity of the Paths lead to putting me in tremendous danger. So I have never crossed that line no matter how much he wished me to.”

“So… there really are 2809 different techniques split up into 45 volumes for men who wish to become Warriors?”

“If you doubt me you can go visit the Institute Main Branch and look for yourself. Now leave me alone and get back to work.” Kara concluded, though a bit happy I think that we had such a discussion after such a long time.

Hearing some of Kara’s domineering tone back in her voice brought a smile to my face also, and so I followed orders and left her with her work and went back to mine.

But visit the Institute Main Branch huh?

I might just do that.