The marriage was done exactly four months after the banquet. There were no mishaps and the Ru family didn’t insult or belittles theirs either for the number of carts brought was reasonable. Considering what she did, Mu Rong An could almost call it excessive, as though, he was buying her off. Well, the idea didn’t seem far stretched; maybe he was compensating her parents for their future loss?

Being her father’s legitimate child, her dowry was quite consistent, added to that the previous gifts of the Empress, really, no bride had been so well and worry free money-wise in quite a long time.

Although she didn’t think he would be thoughtless enough to slight their family’s name, she didn’t think he would be so upright. He came to pick up the bride at the right time, kicked the sedan and was more than respectful.

All in all, the ceremonies were all respected and the marriage turned out quite splendid.

Before being picked up though, that morning, her mother had passed to her a book. The cover was strangely familiar and sure enough, when she turned open one page, she immediately closed it. Her mother coughed a little, saying that some things couldn’t be talked about but she still needed to know about them. Mu Rong An worked hard to blush, appearing like a decent girl, embarrassed at such contents. It was a version of the book she had looked at the night she drugged the Ru general! Who knew that mothers actually passed down such things for their daughter’s wedding day!

Originally, she immediately followed the Fen’s crown prince back to his country and they wedded there. Her parents didn’t follow, just some servants; so, there were many things that she didn’t get to know about. Many things were so different than what she was living this day. Now that she could have a more normal wedding, she wanted it to be right no matter what; if only to have a good memory of such a day.

She patiently listened as her mother gave some more counsels and pieces of advice. It was her day and she knew the extent of things thus she gave face to her half sisters and her father’s concubines, didn’t make anything difficult for them while accepting their half-hearted concerns and well wishes. She even had a talk with her elder brother and underhandedly told him that she was going to be alright so what was he waiting for?

‘Hurry and marry’, she thought. ‘This time around don’t be so concerned with me, try finding happiness and even more so, enjoy a long and happy life.’

She had many things she wanted to say but in the end, nothing would come out yet she was almost choking with tears. Breathing in, she composed herself and smiled gently, even though no one could see it with her veil hiding her face.

Her four loyal servants were parts of her dowry and followed her to Ru manor. She was now inside a carriage to go there and Ru general was on his horse, diligently assisting the carriage, properly giving her face.

It was really puzzling.

Trying to think about other things than his motives, she looked down at her red clothes. She had embroidered the details of her clothes by herself. Despite the short deadline, she did her best and actually finished it only two weeks ago… Clothes and shoes.

To be fair, this was the second time she did such things. The first time she did a complete wedding assembles, was in prevision for her fifteen birthday. She had really thought that some days following her hairpin ceremony, the second prince would come and make their engagement official, even hoping that he would forego the engagement and directly go for a wedding. She had sewn for a year and a half. It was really meticulous and the decorations were beautiful. But in the end, it served no purpose and ultimately, she had burned those clothes without having a chance to wear them in a fit of rage.

For having done such things, Li Ming Qi had called her a desperate fool who couldn’t realize it when a man wasn’t interested. Indeed, she had revealed all that thinking Hen Ru Ying would have been moved by her devotion and love, except he hadn't been at all. But how could she recognize that, she just thought that he was bewitched by Li Ming Qi and to make him cleared his eyes, she had schemed to have Li Ming Qi’s skin powder added with an irritation powder, wishing to see her face all red from the irritation and scratches. That turned out horrible as the one who ultimately used it was herself and she had to hide in her manor for a whole month to recuperate.

Compared to that first wedding clothe, the one she was wearing today was simpler. It wasn’t ugly though. She did have pride in her hands, so long as she set her heart on learning, no matter the motives behind, she would thoroughly learn!

Only, it just so happened that such skills were not needed for these special men. At this point, she really didn’t care anymore. All her life, she learned how to attract a man’s interest, was taught how to be a good wife, how to manage a household. Those were things she could proudly say she mastered. Where was the need to know about medicinal herbs or whatnots? She wasn’t planning to be a physician! Things like, taking a horse to pass time or brandishing swords weren’t what she fancied doing in her spared time, she would rather paint or play some music.

Sitting in the carriage, hearing his horse’s neighing and its hooves thundering on the ground not far away, she really wondered what he was thinking about. All day long, that thought had followed her and was at the back of her mind, never to be forgotten for long. In what form would his revenge be coming?

Oh, she thought, hours later, sitting on the big bed of the wedding chamber, wasn’t this kind of revenge petty? The night was going deeper and deeper and still, he had yet to come. Her servants were fidgeting, apparently more scared to see him come than him not coming. After all, they were in the know of what their mistress did and were deathly pale thinking about the Ru general real motives behind such a wedding. Their colorful imagination always had blood and deaths! Theirs being the goriest!

With all that had been done the whole day, Mu Rong An didn’t get a chance to eat and was now hungry. Not saying much about his absence, she just ordered one of her servants to help take off her veil. The decorations on her head were exquisite but quite heavy.

“That” stammered her servant, not daring to do so, after all, if he did come, he was the one habilitated to take it off.

Mu Rong An glanced at the night from the slightly opened window, thinking that he wouldn’t come anyway but she didn’t insist; instead, she asked to be brought some light dishes. Lifting her veil, she ate slowly and tastily, not the least bit contraried. Her first bowl emptied, she even had the appetite to add another, even mentally preparing herself to sleep after that.

The servants who equally accompanied her should be hungry too, but where would they think about meals when their insides were turning just at the thought of their future master? They couldn’t eat a thing and it was already good that they were not vomiting at the sight of their young mistress happily gulping down her late snack.

Once Mu Rong An was done, the plates were brought out and she stared absentmindedly at the door. She wondered a little if his line of thought were really as she had deduced: did he marry her just to let her know she would never be a real mistress? Not sharing his bed, in the future she’d have no real power at all in his courtyard? Let her lose face constantly yet too proudful enough to complain? Was it really this?

If it really was, then it was far too easy to handle and much better than what she initially thought. If that was really the case, there had never been a need for her to prepare for the worst then. Thinking so, she touched the small flask that was hidden in her sleeves. Poison. It was a fast acting one with almost no pain attached. If there was a possibility to live she would, of course, take it; but she bought this just in case what he had in store for her became unbearable. It seemed that she may never need to use it.

Surprisingly, the door opened and the one who entered was actually her husband. Behind her veil, she couldn’t really see the expression on his face, but his red clothes were quite dashing. She dared say, his figure looked even more handsome than that of the second prince.

There were people behind him. Males and females who were trying to see the bride’s face. But who was it that could pressure him? Friends and acquaintances equally were flatly refused the entrance. He had the servant-girls ordered out. His voice was cold and unwavering yet faint smell of wine could still be perceived.

Mu Rong An swiftly returned the flask to its hiding position and kept her head low waiting for his actions. She looked up though when she heard him rummaging things in the chamber. He was going through her things and before she could ask what exactly he was searching for he already had in hands two little flasks identical to the one in her sleeves. He put them on the table near the ceremonial wine.

She watched him, unmoving, unblinking, completely mute. There wasn't fear in her... more like apprehension?

He didn't talk and neither did she. He approached her at a steady pace, neither fast nor slow. Reflexively, she straightened her sitting position and clasped her hands tighter on her thighs as he stopped right in front of her. The silence was deafening. He leaned on her, and she involuntarily stopped breathing, waiting, for what, she herself didn't know. As he kept on leaning on her, one of his hands clasped hers, loosening them. Although hardened with calluses due to sword training since his young ears, his palms were still agreeable to touch and hot and at this moment, she could swear they were actually scalding. She could feel his soft breathing on her neck, making her shiver slightly. There was a faint smell of wine under his breath. His other hand, that he had previously put on her shoulder, slid down gently. Through the many layers of her clothes, she could still feel the heat of his palm as it traversed her shoulder, her arm, her hands… and in the end, took out the last flask of poison.

The object in his hand, he straightened himself up and Mu Rong An felt slightly disappointed at the lost contact.

He had found all three of them. This general certainly had others keep track of her activities these last months. Now what? He still didn’t talk, nothing, just stood there in front of her. In the end, it was she who broke the heavy atmosphere; chuckling a bit and with no inflection in her voice she said,

“I had no intention of using them on you, you know?”

It was for herself after all.

He still said and did nothing and she really didn’t know what to think of this person anymore. She had never really given much thought to him before so she really didn’t know his manner of thinking thus couldn't adapt to it. She just smiled and continued,

“You went out of your way to marry me, will you really let our wedding night passed like that?”

When she finished talking, he actually distanced himself even more. He stood by the window looking at the night. His cold voice resounded in the vast room,

“You really have no fear… First miss Mu, from the north to the east, on this time and age, who saw someone as shameless as this?"

Well, despite his tone, she was going to take this as a compliment. Smiling still, she didn't interrupt him and diligently listened,

"You say you thought hard about how to inflict me pain…," there was a hint of mocking in his voice as he continued, "laying with a man, do you really think that it will hurt him?”

“Your ego sure got bruised.” She said softly, haughtily, which he heard without much effort for his martial arts weren’t bad at all; following such sentence, his voice got harsher, to which she thought 'I nailed the truth'.

“I too thought hard about what could make you suffer. Something that for you would be considered worse than death… ”

“And here I thought you were an upright man, marrying a woman that you deflowered."

Who knew that the usually cool man actually had little patience for such topic. In a swift movement, he was facing her again and it didn't matter that she couldn't see his expression clearly, she could still fill the intense anger in his words,

"Who..." he started to exclaim but in the end, didn't finish. He clenched his hands. "Amuse yourself while you still can!"

Her neck sore from all the pieces of jewelry she was wearing, she put her left hand and slowly massaged it, wondering a little if asked gently, would he help her take them off... Certainly not.

"This wife is quite ignorant," Under her veil, she never saw him flinch at the way she called herself, "so I can only ask for a clear explanation. Being married to me, isn't it you in the end who throws a stone on your own foot?”

Silence floated between them for a while and when she thought he wouldn't answer her at all, his voice resounded again, hard as steel but she could still feel it, there were tremors behind, trying hard to mask an unadulterated pain.

“It doesn’t matter, in this life, I don’t plan to marry anyway.”

Saying so, his patience had obviously run out and he left the big room in just a few strides taking with him the three dangerous bottles. When the door closed behind him, she heaved a sigh of relief and let herself fall on the bed. He was quite intimidating, indeed. To keep going on and talk with him she had to constantly refresh in her mind the erotic images of him, his flushed face, his aroused state. Those were a stark contrast to how he usually was!

It doesn’t matter, in this life, I don’t plan to marry anyway.

What a stubborn and altogether pitiful man. For him, he was still not married! Was this some kind of vow or was he cursing himself?

It was truthful thought, that heartbroken over Li Ming Qi, he really thought he could love no other. The second arc’s female lead had to work hard to let him recognized that he had fallen for her. Wasn’t it funny now, that he blocked his own path of happiness by marrying her? Did this make her a demon to know that his future wife would certainly not pursue the married him but she still went on with this marriage? He would most likely stay heartbroken for a good while. She put one hand on her chest where her heart beats, thinking that they would have all the time in the world to antagonize each other. Such a thought, however, failed to placate her as even a fake smile refuse to form itself on her lips. Instead, she was feeling more and more stuffy, her chest uncomfortable.

Did she eat too much?

I too thought hard about what could make you suffer. Something that for you would be considered worse than death… Amuse yourself while you still can!

She still knew nothing about what he prepared for her... Well, well, well, it didn't matter anyway. Pushing herself up, she touched her left earing, a soft smile adorning her face. She didn’t mind that he found all those, the real one she wanted to hide was still here. The poison wasn't hers, rather it was something her father found last year in one of the concubines' room. He had immediately expelled that concubine who had poisoned her shu brother, although the infant had been treated immediately his body was sickly still. If left to act normally, it would kill in just some hours, the poisoned person just feeling a slight headache.

Composing herself, she raised her voice and ordered,

“Come”

Her servants scurried in and help to take off all her jewelry and clothes. She then laid comfortably, sleeping peacefully as though the one threatened just now wasn’t her at all!

The following morning she served tea to her family in law and everyone welcomed her, neither coldly nor warmly. They were mostly polite. Mother and Grandmother Ru were pleased that their child decided to marry but she obviously wouldn’t have been their first choice. Her two sisters in law -one a Ru Shan Yong's younger sister and the other the wife of the first son- too didn't really know how to feel around her. Mu Rong An didn't really mind, she returned their polite words and behaved accordingly.

The following days, she didn’t see her husband and spend her time alone in the vast courtyard that was now hers as well. Truthfully, she didn’t even look for him nor asked anyone about him. If he didn't feel well in his own home what could she, this newly comer do about it. Thus, not caring a little bit, she while away her time like she always did before her wedding playing zither or painting and sometimes having her servants accompanied her in a play of chess. She had the time too, to think about the second arc's female lead. Feng Xi.

Normally, Ru Shan Yong should be going to the borders around this time, she wondered if he would meet with that woman still.

If he really went, she, this newly wedded woman would become quite the center of gossip. Abandoned so early in her marriage. If he thought that her pride couldn't afford that little attention, he really didn't know her. She, the prime minister's first and legitimate daughter, was once ready to marry in as a concubine. Didn't that already tell him how thick-skinned she could be?

He may be a good strategist in the battlefield but he really knew nothing in handling women. No wonder Feng Xi would always be calling him a man as pure as jade!

***

He may not be there but his servants that he sent to pack his things indicated to her that indeed, he was going to the borders sooner than later.

Three days later he finally returned and accompanied her back to her family. She really couldn't keep track with how he was doing things at all. She was sure that he would have let her return all alone but here he was again, giving her face.

No matter what, she never had in mind to complain to start with, so the day was good and the reunion with her parents had been well. However, as it neared the time for them to go, he suddenly said something that made her choked on her tea. Taking her with him to the borders?! He wanted her to follow him there?! What was he saying so straightforwardly as though it was normal? However, she quickly composed herself and even helped him reassured her parents that despite the rebellion brewing there, she was going to be fine! After all, her parents'residence wasn't the place to let out a temper, demanding what was going on.

But she did so, as fast as they entered the carriage, her voice hadn't been raised and could be called pleasant but the hint of anger in it couldn't be concealed,

“Wait, you, when you were preparing yourself all these times no one told me anything! How come I didn’t know something as big as this?”

He simply stated,

“Now you know,”

She was stomped for words and had to sight twice before her sweet smile stopped wavering,

“I can’t follow you on such a short notice, I have to prepare clothes.”

He, who all this while was sitting with eyes closed, actually opened them to look at her, his glare nailed on her. His voice cold, he reminded,

“It seems, you’re forgetting that we aren’t happily married. Are you so good at pretending that you even fool yourself?”

There was in his voice a certain hardness and unwillingness to continue, discerning it, she only smiled at him and said nothing. Looking at her unflustered self and feeling unhappy about it maybe, he closed his eyes once again while she, she resumed to looking towards the carriage's window. If there was no such law as a restriction of riding horses in the capital, he certainly wouldn't be sharing a carriage with her.

Going to the borders, she could adapt and not fuss too much about it. But coming back to the Mu residence, she was informed that she could take none of her servants at all!

“Mistress” they cried horrified. Their minds working fast and conjuring god knew what that scared them silly.

No matter what she said, he wouldn't budge at all. The things that she'd be taking with her there weren't arranged by her servants but by his and she had no idea what was inside the bags. In the end, she only had a say in what she was wearing on her body to take off and nothing else.

She gave a wry smile and joined her servants in thinking that once gone, their lives would certainly be extinct just like that. In the end, she failed to understand what his revenge was all about...

“They would live right?" she had asked him the night before they were to go, the sole one he actually spent in his own courtyard. She had barged into his room unannounced, threatening the servants who were daring enough to try and stop her. "There really isn't a need to take it on them, that night, they were only following my orders!”

He was sitting at the small table, book in his hand that he had yet to take his eyes off from, even so, he seemed to be paying attention to her words as he sneered,

“Playing the righteous act? Do you take me for a fool?”

She clenched her teeth under her sleeves, the smile in her voice, she said, "This wife doesn't dare."

The book was closed abruptly as he glared at her, not liking how she addressed herself one bit.

Who was annoying who now?

Even though the air was thick with tension and thunder could be formed, no more words were said. She conceded first, humphing, she dropped the pretense and glared at him before going away. She knew she wouldn't receive any more words this night.

Those four servants, even though she would punish them when they're wrong or in her anger, she would never actually want their lives. These people were still those who were with her since her childhood, inevitably, some links were still forged.

Sighing, she closed her bedroom and talked to them, whether she was trying to reassure herself or them, she didn't really know,

“Don’t overstep your boundaries and quietly wait for me here, if he really wanted your lives, you wouldn't have survived until now…"

They were actually crying,

"Shh," she ordered, not lightly, "Cry, cry, what's there to cry about, are you dead already? Aren't you well and living? And that will continue for many years! In my absence, you better let the place stay clean lest should I come back and be dissatisfied!..." she wryly added, "If I return of course..."

Before she could add anything else two of them were crying again. Where would the agitated Mu Rong An take the patience to placate them, she hushed all the four of them out, before falling on the bed.

She took deep breaths and finally calmed herself down. She recognized, she really has no idea at all about what that husband of hers was preparing. When closing her eyes, her definition of worst was always accompanied with four to five men torturing her with different tools, sullying her body as the crown prince sat there, enjoying the view, touching himself to find release.

This was for her the worst, however, she does recognize that the fear of the unknown was also a little terrifying. The capital was like her safe haven, where she would unconsciously think herself to be in control, while the borders were like Fen country. A territory she didn't know, where only strangers would surround her.

Softly, while touching her earing she thought,

"If not then I suppose it’s a farewell.”