Chapter 7.A

Eugene was busy stuffing loose valuables and bundles full of cash from his safe into a large duffel bag as fast as he could. He knew when it was time to get out of dodge and that time was now. Even with all of his security and the cops he had paid off he still wasn’t safe from Hank’s ire. With so much attention drawn on their small town his PR team would be busy for weeks putting out fires and trying to clear his name of any wrongdoing in this mess. Might as well sit somewhere on a warm beach like Cabo San Lucas sipping margaritas with hookers and wait out the madness.

Eugene wondered if Cabo San Lucas had any of those underage ladyboys like Thailand had, he sure did love him some ladyboys. He went to Thailand as often as he could to sample their specific flavor... Even that wouldn’t make him fully happy though, he knew that. He wouldn’t be content until that rat-bastard Hank was dead and in the ground. He was finally on the verge of getting his revenge from what Hank had done to him all those years ago at the lake. Then Hank had to go and rig up some infernal redneck machine to spoil all of Eugene’s plans. Hank the thief, Hank the brute, Hank the peasant. He was disturbing the natural order of things. People like Eugene were meant to lead, people like Hank were meant to sweep floors. That giant oaf needs to die.

Eugene could always arrange an untimely demise for Hankey boy from the safety of a private beach. Eventually law enforcement would stop Hank, Eugene knew that, and then it would just be a few phone calls to the right people and old Hank would be swinging from some shoelaces in a jail cell. Eugene would personally piss on his grave at that point. Hell, he might even pay some desperate poor people to kick his corpse and light it on fire, or even start up some rotating shifts for hobos to come piss on it daily. He would cross that bridge when he came to it, either way the world could rest assured that Eugene Tillerman was going to fuck up Hank’s entire existence.

Eugene finished packing, he was a little light on clothes but he could always buy more suits when he arrived. He only had one member of his security team left: Joe Buckley. The rest of his security had either been murdered or ran off by Hank, but not Joe. Joe Buckley had been a true acolyte in the Church of Eugene. Truly a zealot by every meaning of the word, fanatical and beyond loyal, just the way Eugene liked them. Eugene often had some kind of half-baked excuse whenever he had to have his men muscle someone into submission or when he needed a little evidence hidden or destroyed. Joe Buckley never questioned these easily seen through lies, he accepted them, got paid, and moved on. For these reasons Joe Buckley quickly moved up in Eugene’s inner-circle of confidants.

Any particularly nasty task Eugene needed completed he would always send Joe. Like the time he had gotten a little overzealous with that hooker. You know they say a choking fetish can be fun. Well whoever “they” are couldn’t be more wrong. Nothing is fun about having to roll up a corpse in plastic at 4 in the morning with your head of security, talk about awkward. Luckily Joe took care of her quietly and quickly. Joe owns a dozen acres of backwood land “gifted” to him by Eugene. Said land happens to have an industrial grade wood chipper on it that can really make unwanted things disappear quickly. Besides you wouldn’t believe how good a human body is for compost. You can grow the most amazing Lilacs on ground soaked with human blood.

“Joe, carry this out to the Lincoln please,” said Eugene.

“Yes sir,” replied Joe, diligently as ever.

The Lincoln, Eugene’s only great love. The Lincoln was a 1970’s model Lincoln Limousine, not in the traditional sense of the word limousine of course. When you hear the word limousine you think of a giant stretch-mobile full of horny kids getting picked up for prom. Or maybe even captains of industry courting a new client. This was a limousine in the traditional sense, being that it was only ever-slightly longer than your average car. Just long enough for some of Eugene’s night guests to be able to get on their knees with room to spare in the back…

The entire vehicle had been refurnished, refurbished, and rebuilt from the ground up. It now sported an engine powerful enough to drive something twice its size that could go from 0 to 60 in 6 seconds. Kevlar layers had been added to the interior of the doors and the trunk lining making the vehicle mostly bulletproof, but not completely. You can’t retrofit armored glass into these older models it would have made the weight of the vehicle too cumbersome. That didn’t bother Eugene though. If he did his job right and eliminated problems ahead of time he wouldn’t be getting shot at anyway, worst case scenario he would just have to get lower in his seat for a bit until his security whisked him to safety. Of course it also had a top of the line sound system, a mini-fridge, a mini-bar, and a full-sized television in the back. Some people would have balked at updating an older model like this, but there was just something about the hard lines of 70’s automobiles that Eugene loved.

Lastly Eugene had the entire car painted in a dark royal green that was borderline black. There was just something regal about the color and it was unique enough that no one else would have it which sent the message that Eugene wasn’t like the peasants that surrounded him on a daily basis. Eugene loved to use an excuse he could to let people know he was better than them. Even something as subtle as a custom color on a collector’s car.

Eugene took one last glance at his large estate as he got into the Lincoln wondering when he would be able to come back here and how long it would take to shake the political headhunters looking for a scapegoat off of his tail. In the end he decided it didn’t really matter, he could always relocate and start his game somewhere else. He had enough seed money packed away in his bag and located in untouchable tax-free overseas accounts to guarantee that.

Eugene had to really maneuver to get his sizable girth through the car door. The rear doors weren’t small by any means, but Eugene had some well paid for size on him. He had considered getting back into shape a few times, but with money like his he could always pay beautiful people to be with him. And isn’t that what self-vanity is really about, wanting to attract other attractive people to you. The whole concept was irrelevant for Eugene since there would always be someone as desperate as he was disgusting and rich.

Joe Buckley hopped in the driver’s seat and they were on their way. Eugene was heading to a small airport nearby where he had chartered a private jet. Only peasants fly commercial, thought Eugene. He also decided that this was a good time to mix himself a drink and get the party started. Other people in his situation would have been extremely upset right now after seeing most of the men who had been protecting him over the last few years brutally murdered, but not Eugene. He could always hire more. Besides their whole job was to keep people alive including themselves, and it wasn’t Eugene’s fault that they sucked at their job. Or at least that was the way Eugene figured it as he mixed himself a Manhattan from the mini-bar in the back of the limousine.

“Sir I recommend we head through the warehouse district. Downtown is still a mess with local and federal-level authorities,” said Joe.

“Do what you have to do Joe, I trust you,” said Eugene. After saying that he realized he did trust Joe. It was a strange feeling. He would even go so far as to say he actually liked Joe. He was glad Joe had been the one to make it out of that mess earlier with him. Eugene relaxed his considerable girth even further back into the seat cushions and decided to ponder on his relationship with Joe and whether or not it actually might be a liability. He lost track of time going down this line of thought before he finally landed on the conclusion that he should give Joe a raise. That was the last thought Eugene had before a giant black tentacle smashed through the front window and ripped Joe’s head off.

Eugene didn’t even have time to scream or take in his surroundings before he was thrown around the back seat and then shrouded into darkness. It almost felt like an earthquake, and he wondered idly as was further tossed around if he had fallen into a sinkhole of some sort, but that line of thought didn’t explain the removal of Joe’s head. The car was jerked around a few more times and then everything got really still. Eugene scrambled in the backseat for the hidden gun safe he had back here with a small .38 revolver resting inside of it. It was just under the driver’s side seat aimed facing him behind some wood paneling that was part of the mini-bar. It was almost impossible to get to in the dark, but Eugene wasn’t a complete moron he had practiced this maneuver many times and he quickly found the trap-door in the wood and had his fingers pressed onto the fingerprint authentication area of the micro-safe. The safe made the best sound in the world that Eugene could’ve heard in this situation, a soft buzz meaning it had accepted his prints and the door popped open. Eugene quickly grabbed the gun, not sure where to aim it. He always kept it loaded. There was more ammo in the safe, but he wasn’t worried about that right now.

He heard a heavy clack from somewhere far off and the sound echoed, the echo told him that he was inside. A distant set of lights appeared. Then another clack, and another. Lights were coming on far above him, he could tell he was in a large warehouse. He was still on the dark end of the warehouse but the lights were quickly turning on in sequence and heading his direction. Soon the area he was in would be illuminated. He could see the dark silhouette of Joe Buckley’s decapitated corpse ahead of him in the driver’s seat. He knew it was time make a run for it while he still had the cover of darkness. He also surely knew he needed to get out of whatever fucked up situation he was in.

He had to get his bag from the trunk, it had most of his cash and his passports in it, his real one and his forgeries. He kept an extra set of Lincoln keys on him for situations like this, well not just like this... He trusted Joe, but he trusted himself more and kings always have contingencies. He quietly stepped out of the back of the car and snuck around to the trunk of the vehicle. He had to hurry, the lights were getting closer and whoever dragged him in here would surely see him as soon as this end of the warehouse lit up. He popped the trunk, grabbed the bag, and prepared to run. His heart was beating so fast he could barely breathe. He was too late, the lights above him flicked on.

Standing just off to the side of him were two creatures straight out of a nightmare. One was a man entirely composed of a shiny black stone with red glowing eyes. The stone was joined in hundreds of places, almost like irregular shaped scales. The stone-man was a summer dream compared to the thing standing next to him. If the stone-man was scary, this thing was horrifying. It was at least 13 feet tall, maybe more, it was hard to tell because it was slumped over. It’s arms were so long that it’s fists rested on the ground much like a gorilla. Though it’s limbs were twice as thick as any guerrilla Eugene has ever seen, and they were lined with rock hard muscle. It’s skin was wet, dark, and slimy looking. The skin seemed out of place on a bipedal creature land creature. This was the kind of skin Eugene had only seen on octopuses and deep sea creatures during nature documentaries. Jutting off of it’s back were four long tentacles flailing in different directions seemingly of their own accord.

One of the tentacles shot outwards and stretched into the driver’s side window of the Lincoln. It wrapped around Joe Buckley’s body and lifted it high into the air. The thing tilted its head back and opened its maw wide. From Eugene’s angle he could just see that it had layers and layers of teeth, far too many teeth. The tentacle dropped Joe head first, well if he had a head left, Joe fell a few feet until he landed in the creature's mouth. Apparently the creature had a limit on how much he could fit in there at once because poor old Joe only sunk in up to his waist. His legs still dangled out the thing’s mouth. Eugene watched in horror as it gulped a few times and it’s mouth seemed to enlarge. Joe Buckley’s corpse slowly slid the rest of the way into the thing’s mouth and Eugene could see the shape of Joe’s shoulders under the skin of the thing’s throat.

Eugene couldn’t contain his fear any longer, he let out a guttural scream and opened fire with his .38 revolver. Shot after shot landed on the creature until he was pulling the trigger on empty cylinders. The rock man calmly walked over and took the gun from Eugene and then crushed it in his rocky hands.

“Please don’t shoot my associate. I assure you we mean you no harm.” Eugene was too terrified to even speak. He tried to stutter out a response but instead his throat let out a loud hiss like whine and he pissed his pants.

“I can hear your heart rate is extremely elevated. I don’t know what the norm is for your species but that doesn’t sound healthy. Is it supposed to be that fast?”

Eugene still couldn’t form a response, he kept trying but he was just entirely too scared. His vision blackened and he felt his feet go out from under him. A strange dizziness hit him next as he laid on the floor of the nightmare warehouse, he wasn’t used to being afraid, this was a new experience for Eugene. The face of the rock man appeared above him with his strange red eyes. Then the face of the living nightmare appeared next, still chewing Joe’s corpse. Eugene couldn’t handle the situation, not even a little bit. Fear seized him anew and he felt himself losing consciousness, Eugene welcomed the darkness. Anything was better than being stuck with these two.