Jacob

It hadn't been long since Vance recovered, but he'd been quieter than before. An hour ago I had seen him training out behind the main Guild building, where most of the outdoor equipment was kept. He'd asked people from other teams to take swings at him so he could learn to dodge better. Since none of the teams who ventured into the ninth floor and below could enter the dungeon these days, it didn't take him long to find a few sparring partners.

I could have talked to him about it but when he had woken up in the Healer's Den, he was quieter than he'd ever been before. Lilly said that she would speak with him, so I trusted her to at least try to fix him. If I had to step in, I didn't know if I could help him out with whatever issue he was grappling with. Regardless of why he was doing what he was doing, it was clear that he had a new determination in his eyes that clearly hadn't been there before.

As for me, I was looking around the dungeon entrance along with the shops that catered to adventurers and dungeoneers. The place seemed unrecognizable at this point. The sky was a dull grey, threatening to rain at any moment. Instead of seeing the bounty board and hordes of people clustered around the entrance itself, barricades and guard posts were being set up, only allowing experienced dungeoneers through, although the decreased traffic led to some of those more experienced teams leaving town to head to one of the other, less dangerous dungeons. Part of me wondered if that would be a better option for Blueberries, since without the income from Chilaak's dungeon, we'd be all out of money in just a few short weeks.

Aside from the barricades, there were other dungeoneers who had been given jobs to bolster the defenses in the local area, including the area surrounding the dungeon itself. I could see towers and other outposts being erected on various rooftops, with archers and arrow barrels scattered about. Shop owners were selling to various dungeoneers and some of the city guards, who were spending coin on equipment that varied between potions, extra ammunition, materials to reinforce armor, and extra weapons. While the dungeoneers were equipped with everything from leather to platemail armor and all kinds of weapons, the regular guards were wearing armor that consisted of mostly leather, with chainmail covering the area around the heart and lungs, with a little bit around the neck as well. Their weapons were little more than shortswords or cudgels, which explained why they were shopping more than the dungeoneers.

It was easy to tell that whatever was going to happen here in the future, it would be likened to a warzone. It hadn't even been that long since the Guild Master announced his plans to send a team into the dungeon to eradicate the threat to the city, and things already looked like this.

Should I even have us staying here at all?

I couldn't help but feel the doubts creeping into the back of my mind, as thoughts of that skeleton stabbing Vance in the chest came to the surface, then daring us to go after it. Facing that again might not go very well for any of us, considering that Vance was likely traumatized the most, not to mention Lilly and Serena. Even I didn't get out unscathed from that memory. Seeing Vance die wasn't something that I could just brush off as if it were nothing. If there was even a chance of it happening again, it would be a better idea to just get the four of us out of the city while we still had that chance.

However, part of me just couldn't make that choice while Lilly's brother Nick was still here. From what little I'd been able to gather, something was going on that would make it nearly impossible for them to leave in the immediate future. This would make it difficult at best to get Lilly to leave, as she was insistent on not leaving her brother alone for too long whenever he was outside the dungeon.

The most I'd probably be able to get the team to do would be to go to one of the dungeons a bit to the south. I knew at least one of them might have monsters strong enough that we could test ourselves and maybe provide some sort of aid to Nick and the rest of Nightshade, if only as a token of our determination to help.

Looking around and seeing the patrolling guards, the archers and some mages set up around the entrance ready to blast something to pieces, the close combat fighters sharpening their blades or inspecting their hammers, the general feel of tension in the air, I felt like whatever we could do for this place just wouldn't be enough regardless of the effort we put in.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned to my left to see a somewhat grizzled dungeoneer, a scar over his left eye, his hair the color of fresh coals, skin like snow, and eyes like a raging fire. His gear was multiple layers of leather, with what may very well have been padding underneath. He had a greatsword strapped to his back, and he was looking at me with a mixture of confusion and pity. "You lost?" His voice sounded as if he'd inhaled far too much smoke as a child, but it was oddly soothing.

"No, I'm not lost. Just checking out the changes to the area," I gestured to the barricades as I spoke, before continuing on. "My team was one of the few that made it back from the raid. I don't even know which side was the lucky ones. The ones that died, or us. Either way, it just seems like things changed too fast. One day it's sunny and dungeoneers are going in to seek their fortunes or to just make a living wage, the next we're preparing for a battle that may not even come." I hadn't even realized I was looking directly toward the entrance to the dungeon at this point.

"Hmmm... Well, I won't claim to know what it's like to be one of the few survivors of an operation like that, but I can tell you that change happens every day whether we're ready for it or not. What matters is how you react to it. You can either let it pull you down, or push you forward. I know some people here wouldn't be happy to hear that you were part of the team that survived, but I personally don't think it matters who lived and who died. What matters is that it happened. Complaining about it is worthless, and so is indecision. If you want things to go back to the way they were, then you either have to put in more work than you could ever imagine, or you shouldn't get involved in the first place." The advice the man was giving me didn't sound like it was in any way meant to console me. Instead it seemed more like he was just telling me to either let it drown me, or move on. I gave a noncommital nod in response, and the man walked off toward the dungeon entrance, where I noticed some people waiting for him. When he arrived, the lot of them took the portal into the dungeon.

I stared after the group for awhile, wondering if Blueberries might ever be strong enough that I might see someone in a similar situation to myself and give them advice like that. I wondered if we would even get the chance to become that strong in the future, considering the best dungeon for doing so was now in another country entirely, and leaving was going to be almost impossible. Shaking my head, I pushed those thoughts out of my mind.

Damn it, why am I letting myself feel like this? I need to be better than this. I have to be better than this. For the others.

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I started walking back toward the Guild, my leather boots thudding on the stone roadways. If I couldn't get us into the dungeon here, I'd find a dungeon nearby for us to use, and I'd make sure we could be here to at least help out whenever possible. If I couldn't get Lilly to leave the city and her brother behind, I'd make sure she wouldn't have to. If I couldn't get Vance to stop training like a madman, then I'd have to train right alongside him. If I couldn't get Serena any better equipment, then I'd help her find a grimoire to help her practice her magic.

I'm the leader of team Blueberries. I'm not going to just give up the second it's convenient, and I sure as hell am not going to let any of the doubts in my mind keep me from doing what's necessary.

It didn't take me more than ten minutes to get to the Guild building itself, but instead of heading for the training field out back where I knew I'd find Vance, I instead veered off to the right, toward the archives. If I had any luck, I might find other dungeons that were located closer to the city than the one to the south, which would take a few days to get there, and a few days to come back, which simply wasn't acceptable if I was going to give Blueberries a chance to at least choose whether or not they would stay in the city.

Stepping into the building, the warmth flooding over me, I slowly inhaled the scent of books, old and new alike. At a counter to my right sat one of the Guild scribes, who was in charge of allowing or denying entry. At the sight of my Guild identification card, I was let in without a word. It might take a few hours, but I was at the very least going to find some maps of the area.

As one of the only survivors of the raid, and as the leader of team Blueberries, if I wasn't being useful to anybody, then what was the point of me making it out alive?