I'm cursed, that's the only explanation that makes a modicum of sense. There's no way that I would encounter so many weird idiots considering the scale of the magical world.

Or maybe I'm the weird one... No, that can't be it.

"Sullying the good name of the Alpha Team will not earn you any favors, incompetent knight!" Yoshiko snaps back.

I turn towards Avryl, but the long sigh that comes out of her mouth is enough for me to understand. Does that mean that all Breach Divers are like this? I shudder by even thinking about it. This is bound to become even more ridiculous.

"What doth my blessed eyes see?" the knight with the reddish helmet says as he looks at me. "It seems you have roped another innocent victim into your scheme! I will pray for this poor soul."

"Each member of our cursed team is more competent than ten thousand of your dimwitted henchmen!" the Japanese woman says.

The knight clicks his tongue, "Watch your tongue! Such a noble existence like myself should not lower themselves to conversing with such a destitute pauper like yourself! You should feel honored to bask into the aura of my exalted presence!"

"You speak the universal truth, grand leader!" the other knights say in unison.

This is getting out of control; I think I should—

Our heated exchange is interrupted by the waitress. She is tapping on the side of one of the knights while looking pretty annoyed. I notice she's holding the bag of coins in one hand; she dumps its content onto the floor. I was expecting gold coins or something, but only dirty pebbles hit the floor.

The waitress yells at the knights as she points towards the door. The leader of these idiots tries to explain the situation, but he shuts up once a fireball appears in her hand.

"This minor setback will not settle the blood debt we have between us, accursed Demon Slayer!" the leader of the knights says as his band of idiots is kicked out.

At least we should be free from— The waitress interrupts my train of thoughts by yelling at our group.

Yoshiko snaps back, but this time it's two orbiting fireballs that appear in the woman's hand.

"She wants us to leave," Avryl says to me. I nod, I already guessed that much. Usually, you don't shove a giant ball of plasma into the face of someone to be polite.

But what do I know? I'm just a normal person filled with regrets for ever interacting with this magical world full of dumbasses.

We are kicked out like the knights. Speaking of the devil, it looks like they were waiting for us.

"Ah!" their leader says, "It looks like you poor beggars were kicked out of this fine establishment! What a fitting treatment for insect-like lifeforms such as yourselves!"

For fuck's sake, we were kicked out because of these idiots! I just want some Credits! I need to buy a Terminal so I can understand the people and—

Wait a fucking minute. I have no Terminal, so why can I understand these armored dimwits? The only explanation is that they are speaking our language, but that would mean that they are also from Earth. That sounds very unlikely.

"The Alpha Team does not need to lower themselves to the level of glorified metallic food containers! You speak of insects, but you should look at yourself first for you are but a mere ant compared to my incommensurable power!" Yoshiko says as a pentagram appears briefly above her.

"Ah, such a blessed existence like myself will not take this offense lying down!" the leader shouts as he puts a hand on his sword.

Don't tell me they are going to fight in the middle of the street. What are we, a glorified street gang?

I turn towards Avryl, but her dejected look tells me that this must happen more than she wants to admit. I don't want to deal with this shit. I need Credits, and the antics of these six armored idiots cost us a Breach already. I could shoot in the air to get their attention, but I might accidentally destroy something important. Instead, I glance at my surroundings. There's nothing of real use here, just the occasional discarded flier that is randomly floating around. Well, beggars can't be choosers. I grab one flier out of the air and activate the Object Editor.

Unsurprisingly, the paper can barely be edited. It doesn't matter for this particular application; I wasn't planning on stopping a rifle round with a sheet of paper. I hide it under my overcoat and apply the edit. I could have probably stopped these idiots from bickering for a few moments if I edited the air around us and caused a light show. But I need something more direct and spectacular. I need something that will stop their incessant blabbering.

I throw the flier on the ground and a mild explosion echo. The paper itself has been utterly destroyed, but it was a necessary sacrifice. I hope I haven't angered someone with too much power and who happened to be really into recycling.

Knowing my luck, I probably did.

"Enough!" I shout as the knights recoil in surprise. "I'm sick of hearing your bullshit!"

"Why does an inferior existence—" the leader with the red helmet starts to speak, but I step towards him. The other knights, still somehow startled by the explosion, fail to react in time as my face is a centimeter away from the helmet of their leader.

"Will you shut up! Speak like a normal person, for crying out loud!" I interrupt as the air around the knights lights up. I push the leader into the other members of the Knights of The Black Forest, and they all fall in slow-motion.

That's right, the winning combo is making another guest appearance! But this time, I push another helpless knight before modifying the air again; I make it almost frictionless. The knights are falling so fast that my eyes can hardly discern them.

Did I anger a potentially dangerous group of magical knights? Yes, I fucking did. I've hit my threshold when it comes to bullshit, I need to vent.

Vomiting noises followed by sobbing come out of the knights a few moments later, so I revert the modifications.

"L-Leader, there's vomit in my helmet!" a surprisingly feminine voice comes out of one of the other knights.

Another one tries to speak, but I only hear gurgling sounds.

"Sword," the large barbarian says as he looks at me with what I assume is pride. I can sense a bond forming between us, a bond based on mutual respect, and being sick and tired of the bullshit around us.

Or maybe I'm reading way too much into this. For all I know, Sword is barely more sentient than the metal club he lugs around.

"L-Leader," a pleading knight, also with a suspiciously feminine voice, sobs as I hear something slushing around with each of her movements.

"T-This is unacceptable!" the leader says with a shrill voice as she removes her helmet, an action with is accompanied by the sound of compressed air. A smelly liquid comes out of the discarded equipment; it looks like her helmet has filled with puke. I then focus on the person responsible for all this ruckus.

The leader of those knights is revealed to be a beautiful woman with long pointy ears. Her blond hair tied up in a ponytail and light blue eyes along with her perfect skin would probably make her the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Sadly, her beauty is ruined by the half-digested remains of her lunch slowly peeling off her face. To be honest, it looks like she has been dunked into a sewer. Multiple times.

The other knights remove their helmets, with similar results. All of them are elf-like people who look like they took a long swim into a dirty septic tank. They remove the rest of their armor and huddle together, avoiding my gaze as they quietly sob.

Only the puke-covered leader of the Knights stares at me with hateful teary eyes.

A few passersby are laughing their asses off, and some are even recording the scene with their Terminals. The laughter of the crowd makes the cheeks of the supposed elf redden as she points a finger at me.

"D-Do you even know who I am, wretched abomination?" she yells. I don’t answer as I give her another free ride on the Vomit Express.

Haha, uppity elf goes BLEARGG.

I stop after thirty seconds. The elf is on her knees and trembling while she's sobbing.

"I-I want to go home," she whispers very faintly.

"What did you say? I thought I heard that you were very sorry for causing trouble for us, and you were going to compensate us for losing that Breach." I say with a smirk.

"W-What?" she slightly raises her head.

"I guess you want another round then..." I say with resignation.

"P-Please, no!" she slams her head into the ground and stops moving. "I'm very sorry for everything I've ever done." She slams her head into the ground again before reaching into the pocket of her black jeans, "Please take this, it's all I have." She sobs as she hands me a couple of what resembles faded credit cards and pocket lint; there’s even a pebble in there.

I cross my arms, "Do you expect me to pick that up when it's covered with your vomit? Are you insulting me?"

"I-I am very sorry," she slams her head into the ground again. This time it's with so much force that a slight elf head-shaped indent has formed onto the dirty asphalt. "Please do the same," she addresses her probably heavily traumatized followers who all nod before putting their few valuables into a neat little pile before cleaning it with various spells.

I pick up the cards. I glance at her trembling silhouette along with her followers, who look like they'll need long years of intense therapy to recover from what just happened.

Somehow, I feel slightly bad for them. Did I overdo it? Am I the bad guy?

I shake my head as I throw them their credit cards. That was a justified action and not an overreaction with potentially dire consequences for my future. It was just a regular, mundane, and family-friendly altercation that will have no consequences. I didn't even empty their bank accounts! Well, it's mostly because I don't have a Terminal to do so. And also because something tells me that these idiots are broke.

Can I change reality if I ignore it hard enough? I bet that there's a magic system that works like that. I add another entry to my list of life goals. The first one remains to have a successful way of teleporting around while the newest entry is to find a way to mold reality into something more manageable.

Or to find a way to dispel the curse that seems to haunt me.

"That was... something," Yoshiko says with a mix of awe and respect as she glances at the elves. Sword nods with a satisfied grunt, which means that he either approves of my actions or that he smelled something good from a nearby shop. Avryl— Let's ignore Avryl for the time being. She seems to be in the middle of something. Do I refuse to understand why she is leaning against a wall while red like a tomato and panting?

Yes, I am. How could you tell?

If I had a game-like system like all those other Isekai main characters, then I would have probably earned the [Reality Denier] title by now. Why is it surrounded by brackets? Don't ask me, I don't make the rules.

Come on MERTICORE! Why don't you give me overpowered bonuses at the slightest opportunity like those guys from novels? Like I said before, I technically crossed dimensions. I believe I'm entitled to my Isekai powers! I need to find a lawyer for this; this injustice needs to be corrected.

However, suing the universe might not achieve much. But what do I know, I'm not an expert. I bet there's a magical lawyer somewhere that slays his enemies by shouting 'objection' loudly.

Now let's get back to the topic at hand; what do I do with the group of elves I traumatized? Leaving them in the middle of the street sounds appealing, but I do feel a bit guilty for what happened to them. Don't get me wrong, they had it coming, but maybe I overreacted slightly.

"So, what should we do with them?" I ask the leader of the Alpha Team as I point at the quivering elves.

Yoshiko takes a deep breath before grabbing my shoulder, "Ian, my dear team member! You defended the honor of the Alpha Team better than even I could have done! Furthermore, you continue to drag what remains of the pride of those accursed knights by taking care of them. Meaning that you consider them less capable than a severely impaired infant!" she yells.

I let out the biggest sigh of my whole life and nod.

Yes, Yoshiko, that's what I meant by that. Now could you show me where the nearest bar is? I need to kill a few neurons since I'm capable of coherent thoughts, and that must not be socially acceptable around here.

That's the only way I can explain why I'm surrounded by complete morons.