Inside a secret room, at the top of the colosseum.

"Yes, your majesty. It seems like that brat has already made some kind of plans against us." (Prime minister)

Surrounded by beautiful women, nearly completely undressed, is a fat, ugly guy with a tiny crown on his huge head.

"Buhihihi! It doesn't matter. He's just a stepping stone for me on my way to truly become king. I don't necessarily need him. Kill him, but do it inconspicuously. And bring me his companions. I want to see their faces after I break them! *Slurp* " (Prince)

"As you command, prince." (Prime minister)

*SLAP*

"I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME MAJESTY OR KING, YOU MAGGOT!" (Prince)

"I beg for forgiveness, majesty." (Prime minister)

"Now go and make that kid disappear. Anyone who doesn't join me, shall perish!" (Prince)

Back to our beloved MC

"ACHOOO!" (Me)

"Yu? I thought you can cure diseases?" (Lydia)

"This isn't a disease, it's far worse." (Me)

"W- what is it?" (Lydia)

"Someone is talking shit about me behind my back." (Me)

Suddenly, a shiver, like no other, runs down my spine.

"They... they're tingling." (Me)

Look, I know we know each other pretty well, but I don't want to know what kind of STD's you already-

"THEY'RE NOT STD'S! It's something different." (Me)

"I hope he's talking to that Screeny." (Lydia)

"It's pretty weird when it looks like he talks with the air, isn't it?" (Aline)

"Well, not like he wasn't weird before." (Lydia)

Lydia is talking shit behind your back, you know?

"That's not important right now." (Me)

NOT IMPORTANT?! WHAT HAPPENED?! IS IT THE APOCALYPSE?!

I SHALL GET EVERYTHING READY AT ONCE!

"Fuck both of you. But this is something I have to tell you. In my years of watching... stuff... online, I've been able to develop a certain instinct. That instinct warns me, if there is an ugly, fat bastard approach-" (Me)

You've been watching Hentai, haven't you?

"No, I've most certainly not been watching "Hentai". Anyway, my instinct is going wild right now. I feel someone approaching." (Me)

"Yu? Belka does nyat know what Hentai is. What is thyat?" (Belka)

YEAH! GO ON, TELL HER!

"...Isn't it time already for the fight to start?" (Me)

"So you finally remembered that we're close to fighting our third match?" (Lydia)

"Hmpf, not that it will be a challenge to us anyways. We won the last two matches with ease after all, so this one shouldn't be a problem." (Aline)

"..." (Me)

That was such a perfect Death Flag. You fucked boooiiiiiiiii.

"I'm not looking forward to what's to come." (Me)

"What do you mean?" (Aline)

Aline looks at me with a perplexed expression and the gate to the arena opens.

"Aline, I like you just as much as you do me, but sometimes it's difficult." (Me)

"WHA- WHO SAID I LIKED YOU, YOU IDIOT!" (Aline)

"I just said I like you just as much as you do like me, didn't I? It depends on you." (Me)

"I-! It's... I... don't... not... not... not like you." (Aline)

'What does the math say?'

A quadruple negative. It comes out positive.

'God, I love tsunderes.'

We step out of the preparation room and a cheering crowd greets us.

"WOOHOOO! IT'S THOSE INCREDIBLE KIDS AGAIN!" (Audience member #1)

"KYAAAAA! I WANT TO BEAR YOUR CHILDREN, YU!" (Audience member #2)

"YU! YOU CAN DO IT!" (Hajime)

In the first row is Hajime with his companions. He, as usual, has his charming smile on his face, but even despite that he looks completely natural.

'Why the fuck is he in the audience?! No, wait. Since he's been explicitly mentioned, he'll be important for this match. Fuck, I hate this.'

(Authors note: Oi, no spoilers.)

But, as if fate wanted it, Hajime isn't the only one I can see in the audience.

Running around are dubious men, clad in black. They position themselves around the arena at about the same distance.

'I'm a bit disappointed at how easy it was to notice it, but it is how it is.'

"Girls, be a bit more careful this time. It could be that we're not only fighting against one team." (Me)

From the other side come 6 hooded individuals out. Each of average height and average physique. If it wasn't for all the signs, then I would be pretty arrogant myself right now.

At that moment I realized that something is missing. It's something insignificant, but even more so it's weird that it's not there.

"Where is the commentator?" (Me)

"*Snores*" (Commentator)

"Oh, so he's asleep. Well, nothing you can do about i- PSYCHE!" (Me)

I throw a knife in his direction to wake him up.

That would normally result in eternal sleep, you know?

'Not that it really matters, since he FUCKING CAUGHT IT!'

In between 2 fingers is the knife I just threw.

"*Snores*" (Commentator)

'He fucking caught my knife while being asleep... not bad I have to say.'

I barrage him with a shitload of my attacks, but he always manages to dodge them one way or another.

"Doesn't this mean that we won't have a referee either, Yu?" (Lydia)

"They still can change the referee as far as I kn-." (Me)

"No we can't." (Random dude #1 who seems to be some kind of staffmember)

"Of course you can't." (Me)

Both teams meet up at the center of the colosseum. This time there's only an awkward silence between us, instead of an intense staredown.

"You guys like jazz?" (Me)

I'm gretted with silence.

'PLEASE SAY AT LEAST SOMETHING!'

"I'm sorry, we didn't want this either." (Hooded guy(?) #1)

"So you were blackmailed, gotcha." (Me)

I turn around and throw a knife with something attached into the crowd.

'This should do it.'

Wow, you're so cool. Not telling us what that knife was for. It really builds up a sense of-

'Eat my ass.'

I WOULD, IF I COULD!

'Pls no.'

"Alright girls, this'll probably be a bit more complicated than it was before. This time the only ones who will fight are me, Estelle and Belka. If it gets difficult, then I'll call you." (Me)

"Wait, why would you only use a few of us if it could get more difficult?" (Lydia)

"Because I don't want to reveal all of our abilities straight up from the start. There are most likely other teams out there who are checking us out right now. As long as the enemy doesn't know our full potential, he can't take precautions against us." (Me)

"...Wow, no sass this time. I thought that-" (Lydia)

"But of course you wouldn't think about that. What did I even expect from you?" (Me)

"*Sniff* I'm also wondering what I expected." (Lydia)

'Damn, that was actually pretty cute.'

I put my hand on top of her head.

"No need to be crying. You know how much I value you, that's why I don't use you until the end." (Me)

"You... you value me?" (Lydia)

Lydia's cheeks get a bit flushed.

"Of course I do. Who else would put the clothes on I make?" (Me)

"YOU-!" (Lydia)

Laughing, me, Estelle and Belka leave the rest behind.

In front of us are the hooded individuals.

"Since there's no one to announce the start it... I guess I'll have to do it." (Me)

*Clears throat*

"IN THE-" (Me)

"Start!" (Random dude #1 who seems to be some kind of staffmember)

'Of course I can't get that.'

The hooded individuals pull off their coats and what comes out is outrageous.

'HOW DID THEY HIDE THOSE TITS BENEATH THEIR COATS?!'

Under the coats hidden was a team purely consisting of girls with massive assets. They look a bit rough with their unkempt hair and dirty look, but God knows I would smash.

In another realm.

"I actually really know how much he wants to and it's pretty disgusting." (God)

Back to our MC.

Just when I started to fantasize about them, I feel something about them change.

"AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!" (Massive titted girls)

They start to grow bigger by the second and soon I'm standing in front of 6, 20 meters big, girls with massive tits.

'I wonder how it would feel to sleep on them...'

You mean with them?

'Nope.'

"BELKA FETCH!" (Me)

"KYAHAHAHAHA!" (Belka)

Belka sprints towards them with impressive speed and starts cutting them apart at the base of their feet. But at the same moment, their wounds get healed. The culprits are none other than the hooded guys in the audience.

"OI! THAT'S CHEATING!" (Me)

"*Snores*" (Commentator)

"Alright, now you guys pissed me off. ESTELLE GO AND PULL THEIR ATTENTION TO YOU!" (Me)

"GLADLY!" (Estelle)

Estelle activates her taunt skill and immediately the aggro is on her.

This isn't a raid boss, you know?

'What part of that isn't a raid boss? We got the "gigantic" part and the "hard to kill" part.'

The giants frantically try to hit Estelle, but she just stands there with her giant shield and takes it like a champ.

"Estelle! How long can you last?!" (Me)

"AS LONG AS YOU WANT TO! *Moan* THANKS FOR THE TREAT!" (Estelle)

'A masochistic tank can really be convenient.'

I raise my palm and lightning starts to crackle around my fingers.

"I GUESS IT'S MY TURN NOW!" (Me)

'I must look so badass with this gesture.'

You look as retarded as always.

'I look badass.'