Guyz, sorry for such a long break (hoho, not so long, but still), I was abducted against my will and forced to drink alcohol. Aaaand here my weekend went “poof”.

And I would also thank you, for with your help I somehow managed to get into the top 25 weekly (…yup, I am exactly number 25… but top 25 sounds… proudly). Don’t look at me! My bribes given to the admin has nothing in common with that fact… or does it? A…anyway! I have no idea how all my readers (all five of them) managed to get me over 3.1k views. Nicely done!

To not make it any longer, here is thy chappy:

Edited by: KenChi死

I went outside the Guild Master’s office and headed downstairs. I have about two days before everything needed will be prepared. Rogue said, that he will send someone to me as an assistance will be needed. For now, I have two days of peace. I think I will walk a little over the city for now, maybe – just maybe, I will once again finish a herb gathering quest. In those two days I will have my own small plantation within the city, so I will be able to gather five times more herbs in a much shorter amount of time.

Work smarter, not harder. I have even less motivation to squat in the bushes for a few hours, as I am currently pretty rich, working your ass for a mere 20-40 copper? While having over 7 gold? Pleasee.

As I was in the main hall, a man from behind a counter waved his hand to me.

“Oy! Zari! Someone here was asking for you.” “Who exactly? I was pretty sure that I have no enem… oh wait… at least not to many of th… eh, nevermind. Who was he and what did he want?” I asked “She” man corrected me. “Said her name was Ruby and you know each other.”

O-ho, my daily portion of entertainment. Maybe I will not bully her today? Meh, who am I kidding. I will.

“I do. We were studying under the care of the same teacher. Not so long ago. What did she want.” “Probably just to talk. She asked me tell you, that if you would have a moment to meet, she would be in the Academy district, in one of those little cafés.”

I was thinking for some time. Finally I nodded.

“Better not make the woman wait. I am on my way.” “Good luck on your date!” He shouted after me “It’s not a date… but whatever, I know what you are going to tell all the Guild members.”

He only smiled back at me. The office members of Guild section has a pretty boring job so hearing and spreading stories and gossip is their only entertainment.

So once again, to the campus. Of course through the Merchant district. Oh the pain, Hello agony, hello suffering, it’s been a while! No-no, I am not staying for long, just walking past, nah I will not stay for a dinner, yeah, it was nice to see each other again, one day we have to catch up, but not today, see ya.

Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out. Just to get rid of the aroma of sweaty bodies and a few, not exactly fresh wares.

I actually like the Academy district a lot. It’s peaceful. It’s clean. It’s quiet. Even as my senses were weakened here, the aroma of grass, honey, and bit of cinnamon told me exactly where I should go. As all pubs, restaurants and cafeterias are packed closely on the one alley, it wasn’t a really hard task to find our little redhead pest. No-no, “pest” in a tender meaning! Really!

She was sitting while reading some book with complicated symbols attached to the description.

“According to what you are reading, while performing a spell you can use catalyst of shapes which were written on any surface… Nice in setting ambushes, hopeless in actual battle.” I said while sitting in front of her.

She was really interested by the book and paid no attention to her surrounding, for as she heard my voice she jumped a little. Then she looked at me first nervously, then while calming herself, she answered.

“That right, those drawings were first discovered in building, mostly temples, of the ancient. In rooms which no one should enter. The exploring team at first, thought that those were but marks with no other purpose but religious or even beautifying insides of those temples…” “Until one of them exploded?” “And some awoke golems, other generated poison, others raised undead. Yes” “Before we will start celebrating our wonderful reunion… would you mind telling me it they serve something edible here?” “They serve really nice cakes… and from more exotic drinks, have you ever heard about coffee?”

This was the moment I was living for. Hearing about sweets was already a good idea, but in the moment I heard about coffee… my eyes winded, head went dizzy, hear for a second my heart stopped beating just to start pounding rapidly in pure ecstasy.

“… I can already tell, you did… it’s a bit pricey but…” “Could I take your order sir?” A waitress asked. “Cheesecake with strawberry syrup and coffee. Black” My regular order. Actually I was pretty sure I would never, ever find those delicates here again. “I have no idea, how someone can drink his coffee black.” Ruby shook her head in disapprobation, as if she thought I am wasting coffee. Foolish girl. “Me neither, but – costumer asks, we serve.” The waitress apparently took Ruby’s side. “None of you know what you are talking about.” I said with the tone of an all-knowing person, “You will never know how true sweetness tastes like, if just would never know the bitterness. I will enjoy my every bite twice as much as you do. Plus, if you would drink enough black coffees, you would find enjoyment even in bitterness... and as a joke I like to say, that my coffee must be as my soul.” “Nice bluff.” Ruby said with a smile “You are just a cheap-ass, and are afraid to lose a few more coins.” “Same treat for my companion.” I said while looking at the waitress “We will say who was right, as you would bite a cake just after tasting black coffee.” And as Ruby wanted to say something “Now, you will offend me, if you would refuse, please add the other portion to my bill.” “I will be right back.” The waitress vanished as quickly as she appeared. “Zari… I was just joking, And I told you, that coffee is pricey here.” “I know you were joking, but you must have forgotten, then as I was staying within the village, I cooked a few potion and sold them to the garrison that was staying nearby. And I have no place to use those coins, you know, squirrels are not attracted to gold, aaaand that a shame, for they got some nice stuff at the warehouse.” “How was the forest?” Now! Here it is! Feelings of guilt? Of course that I could say, that somehow I was never in true danger, for some ancient beings protected me, and I was staying in a house with a goddess… but where is fun in it? “Just like before. Nothing much changed. Behemoths are about to have mating season, so they are a bit more aggressive than usually, predators, that usually are loners, started moving in a pack, so that was a nuisance, but what was most painful… there was some kind of weird insects. Big one, no mantis, no ants… something that looked like strange hybrid of those… they swarmed. Literally everywhere. I saw a few dozens of them killing behemoth. Kill one, and its carcass will start generating some strange pheromones, making hundreds of those came into this direction. Aaaand before it all started, I had witch hunters knocking at my door. First I thought they were but a Jehovah witnesses, so I opened the door while saying: No, I heaven’t found a Jesus in my life yet, but Jehovah witnesses usually don’t shoot you with a crossbow…” “What are Jehovah witnesses? And who is Jesus?”

Fuck. Here my whole joke was ruined.

“Never mind.” I waved my hand. But, my goal was achieved. If she felt guilty up until now, then this is time for a true regret. “Zari, listen please… I am sorry.” Ha! Here it comes! “I… I acted really badly. You deserve nothing we did to you…” “You are completely right… what are you done already? Please feel free to continue.” I said it with a big bright smile in my face. “You are an asshole.” She chuckled. “Yes, I am an asshole with emotions damaged, and heart bleeding right in front of you, oh poor, poor me. Treated so badly. Unloved. Forgotten. Forsaken.” “… could it be… that your life in that forest was not as bad, as you just told me, and you said it just to make me feel bad.”

Damn. She is good.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” I took a sip of the coffee that was placed in front of me “You asshole!” She chuckled one more time and threw a napkin at my face. “Hey! The part with the witch hunter was true!... maybe not that part with the door, but I have a scar after being shoot with a crossbow in my leg, you know?!” “Zari, once again, I…” “You fucked up, you know it, I know it. Everyone knows it. Your coffee is cooling down. But let me tell, I refuse to stop bullying you. You will pay for what you did, so prepare for punishment. We will start seriously from the start. I will put spaghetti in your shoes.” “You are the face of evil.” “I know… by the way… do you intend on visiting the village anytime soon?” “Zari…. What did you do to the village?” “Are you judging me now? Oh, come on! Aren’t you already sorry, for being such a bitch for so long?!” “What. Did. You. Do.” “Nothing.” I took another sip. “I think they are worshiping me now.” “THEY DO WHAT?!” “Don’t look at me! I came there just one more time, healed the kids that ate the wrong berries, and next thing I know, was that the very next day, they built me a monument!” “Zaaari….” “WHAT?!” “I’m sorry.” “I know, sunshine, I know. Now drink your coffee, and get a bite of a cake. Then you are free to worship me too, as I have just shown you a new definition of paradise.”