Pebbles and boulders rained on his raised shield. Enoch mentally cheered to his success as the tunnel collapsed around him, a bit too early but still a win if he survived.

He dodged a large rock, slid through a broken archway. Visibility deteriorated rapidly as dust shot out in front of him. The world fell apart, noises unbearable, air unbreathable. A debuff flashed at the bottom of his interface. [Stamina Drain]. He kept an eye to his Sprint icon, waiting for it to refresh. With luck, it would let him get ahead of the destruction.

“Radical, you did it.”

“I can’t believe something this dumb worked.”

“They fell for it, couldn’t have been more obvious.”

“Made my day, keep up the good work.” Tip | 8$

The chat exploded after two seconds, the standard delay to allow moderation by the AI. It kept the messages civilized and prevented spoilers on his opponents’ tactics. It also curated the best lines from the flood of spam and brought it to the player’s interface. Enoch dismissed the notification with a thought. He would appreciate his growing fan base another time.

He took a risk. Turned right. This path would slow him down, but it should hold out a bit better if his calculations were accurate.

Up the slope. Straight to a closed double door. Solid wood. He knew it was there, had hoped it was wide open. Not too bad at his level. He braced his shield, activated Charge and strode forward at ludicrous speed. The door exploded in a shower of splinters and pixels.

A quick look to his Sprint skill. Finally up. The air blurred around him, thirty seconds until the boost wore off. He outpaced the cave-in as it stabilised. Throttled down to a comfortable pace, enjoying his victory.

Trumpets blew in an epic crescendo. Orange light enveloped him. The marker for second place. As a solo player, the position would earn him a ton of rating. He’d be just short of a qualification for the Continental Final.

He needed this. Had run out of cash two days ago. Second place in a Master League game. Quite an achievement. It would increase the views on his stream and hopefully the amount of tips. Enough to eat for a week and cover part of his rent. He shook himself. Concentrate.

Achievement unlocked | Stone Saboteur

You collapsed a whole mountain on a group of Outsiders.

Reward | 9 000 XP

A catchy tune played. Level up. Enoch smiled and conjured the chat. It had been a great move. He wanted to see the comments on this one. All the praise would be nice for once. Two seconds passed.

“Collapsing a stone cavern, such cheese.”

“Was hoping for decent fight this time. Got a boring run instead.”

“How did they ever made it to Master League if they can’t spot a simple trap.”

“Great job son. I’m proud of you.” Tag | Mom

Haters. Couldn’t appreciate art when they saw it. He had found the empty tunnels two days ago. They were increasingly common as the player base died off. These ones were ideal, carved by a defunct group of miners.

Enoch had memorised the labyrinth, identified a proper spot and weakened the nearby columns. It had taken an eternity with his basic iron pickaxe.

All for the plan. He had horded treasures. Made sure that a group had spotted him, looking innocent. Once they were in, he had rushed behind them through a side tunnel at ludicrous speed. Had aggroed a herd of armored boars. Lured the beast to the attackers. Enoch passed them quickly. The monsters didn’t. They trashed the place, brought the whole mountain down. Easy kills, easy life.

Too bad about the loot, buried under tons of rocks. This group’s equipment had to be top tier. They had been, after all, in second place. He could have reached their corpses with a miner build, but Enoch only shared high Endurance with that class. He’d need more Strength, relevant skills, and a better pickaxe. Not worth it, the game was almost over.

Enoch went to his skill tree. Chose three nodes, +1 Mobility, +1 Endurance, +1 Perception. This late in the game, linear improvement did the job just fine. A high tier skill would have been better, but stats were stats. Every point counted. He left his interface, went back to the game. The world around him blurred by a bit faster thanks to his now maxed Mobility. Nice.

He came out of the mountain’s side by a hidden door, halfway up the slope. He took in the view. Luscious vegetation. Increased color saturation. Clean mountain air. He took a deep breath. No wonder this game was number one.

“Run dog.” Tip | 1$

“Move it wimp, game’s not going to win itself.”

The trollish part of his fanbase piled in, trying to upstage itself with dark humor and inside jokes. Enoch ignored the avalanche of messages. Made them faded away. He smiled. They were right. Time for the second stage of his plan.

He spotted his next destination, down in the valley, and strode on. Fast.

***

“You smell of lard and flatulence.”

The blue pebble rolled in his hand. The move muffled the magical stone for a second of peace, then the insults resumed. The voice was, of course, grating, snobby and nerdy.

“Your face is ugly. Your palms are sweaty.”

His favorite item. A bag of Taunting Pebbles. It fitted his playstyle perfectly and the chat loved it.

He approached the giant ogress, covered in glowing runes from head to toes. Enoch threw his foul rock. It bounced on her leg. Rebounded. Flew in an erratic pattern, annoying as a fly. Enoch was too far to hear the stone’s insults, but the ogress bellowed with indignation.

“What did you say rock?”

Solid air impacted Enoch as the ogress spoke, deafening him. Quite the voice.

“You’ll regret this,” said the ogress.

The pebble lured the monster forward. She swatted at it, in vain, gave chase. The ground shook.

“No, I’m not,” she said, “I vow on my own mother, I’ll crush you.”

Deadly effective, the magical stone alternated insults, deep dives to her face and quick retreats toward Enoch. Truly one of the best. Probably the equivalent of the Skill Taunt maxed out at 11. Out of 10.

Enoch ran. Even at level 23, he was no match for the Matriarch. Especially not in a straight fight. He had Analysed her three days ago. Nine kills. Out of the one hundred starting players, she had slayed nine. Enoch loved the randomness in this game. Sometimes you got a Tyrant Dragon, sometimes you got an Ogress Matriarch.

Forward to the right, the trees quivered. Three younger ogres appeared with impeccable timing.

“Why are you shouting aunty?” asked one of them. A purple pebble zeroed on him, taunting the youngling, blaring insults, doing spirals at the edge of his reach.

“The meanie rock told lies,” said the Matriarch.

“Mine said I’m stupid,” said the ogre.

“Mine too,” said the other ogre.

Incoherent, the third one raged in a long, guttural grunt. Oh, they were pissed alright.

Enoch ran. Not too fast, he stayed at an optimal distance. Out of their sight, still in his. Perception 7, hard to beat. They were in for a long trek. The targets were far away. Thankfully, his bag was full of annoying stones.

Enoch kept the train going for ten long minutes. The ogres were up to four pebbles each when the earthy sent of a river reached him. He reached the top of a grass hill, covered in pink lilies, and saw it. A calm river, emerald green. Full of tasty trout and aquatic monsters, as per tradition.

Enoch activated Leap, soared to a decent height and dove in. Swimming came in by default with Mobility, and Enoch was now at Mobility 11. He’d manage.

The ogres followed. They didn’t swim, simply strode on the bottom. Jumped up to breathe. They looked dumb but who was he to judge, the technique worked well for hippos.

The chat commented, “They look dumb.”

Enoch reached the opposite bank. Threw his last Taunting Pebbles at the monsters, one red, two orange and one green. One ogre shouted, “I’m not dumb.”

They crossed the river quick enough. The Matriarch slipped on wet clay. She paused in disbelief, grimaced and then erupted in a shriek of rage. A red nova burst from her. The other ogres and the pebbles froze. A time freeze Spell. Deadly.

The shockwave stopped two yards from Enoch. Pure luck, he hadn’t planned for this. Hopefully, it wouldn’t ruin everything.

She punched the original blue pebble straight down into the muck. Shit bits. Enoch had to pull her for another ten minutes.

The ogress stomped on the same rock, again and again, ignoring the other ones. Enoch thanked the devs for her singular focus. She shouted with each attack, now deep in a crater of her own making.

The spell ended. Her cries of rage had built up in the time bubble. Suddenly free, the shouts hit Enoch with the strength of charging hippos. The impacts threw him unto his back. Rolled him up to a tree. His tumble left an inch-deep furrow in the mud and a trail of brown pixels. His green health bar came up to the bottom left of his interface. It dropped by 40 points, out of 390.

The dreaded stun icon appeared beside his health bar with a 2 seconds timer. Complete lost of control of his avatar. He watched the scene, trapped in a weird angle.

The shockwave dispersed his cloud of taunting pebbles. They stabilised all at once with a cool suspended effect and swarmed back to their victims. Some bounced on foreheads and on eyes while others buzzed around. One yellow stone lodged itself directly in the ear canal of an ogre. The monster panicked and straight out punched himself in the ear. Dizzy, he fell to one knee. Two pebbles entered his nostrils. His next punch exploded his nose, one rock fell to the ground but the other one lodged itself deeper. Sneezes, coughs and gurgles managed to spit it out in a big ball of phlegm.

The Stun went expired. Enoch ran from the monsters, sure that he had been spotted. A few strides took him to a safe distance. He knelt into a cozy bush, waiting for his monster train. Took the opportunity for a quick glance at the chat. The fans enjoyed the show.

“I spat out cereals from my noses when the dude punched himself in the ear.”

“Saved.” Tip | 5$

“Zoom in to the yellow stone. It switched from insults to full on shouts once it was in the ear. Classic troll stone.”

Enoch lived for these moments. This game provided so many of these little gems, especially with his unorthodox playstyle. In the last three years, he had accumulated enough anecdotes and replays to last him a lifetime.

The ground shook, mobs on the move. Enoch jogged ahead with frequent 360° to keep an eye on his train. The last five minutes went on smoothly, the stones played the ogres like fiddles.

He spotted the purple marker. The column of particle effects marked the location of the leading team. His destination. His hand dug in a bag, hung at his waist, and produced his prized Artifact.

As a solo player, he wasn’t good at looting Artifacts. Instead, he farmed gold and bought unconventional Artifacts at a discount. He made viable builds out of the cheapest options. With this strategy, he ended up with an abundance of leftovers from other players. Hence this masterpiece, the King Pebble.

“Oh, so now you let me out of the bag,” said the magically enhanced gold nugget, then added, “Mouth-breather.”

“I love you too,” said Enoch.

He crested another hill and there it was, the elite fortress. Star shaped. Efficient. Brutal. The first-place marker shot out of its inner court. It reached the cloud cover, infusing it with a purple taint over the dying daylight. Dusk already? Only four hours left to the game. More than enough.

With his Perception 7, he saw the minute details on the flag. A golden sun over purple scales. Cocky enough to pick the color of champions. Well placed confidence since they had the first player marker. They knew their stuff, had executed their strategy flawlessly. Had conquered of a NPCs’ kingdom. They had access to an army, thousands strong, and the resources of a whole people. Impressive. Too bad nobody had planned for Enoch and his train of ogres.

He ran to the fortress at full speed and threw the King Pebble. The golden nugget insulted him one last time as it soared toward the front gate.

“Lazy throw you limp wristed noodle goof.”

A perfect throw. The King stuck to the gate, then activated. Golden beams spiraled toward the incoming ogres, they hit the regular Taunting Pebbles, supercharged them. Each stone grew brighter, radiating their respective color. The ogres roared in renewed furry, their eyes lit up with rage as they pursued the stones.

The annoying swarm converged to their king, at the fortress’ gate. On their tail, the ogre train charged.

Defensive wards burst. Arrows rained down. An unseen mage summoned four towers made of intertwined serpents, they spat bolts of acid.

All part of his plan. Lightning bolts erupted from the ogres after each attack, striking back at the defenders. The front gate shattered in a storm of pixels.

The Matriarch entered the inner court. Her minions followed.

Enoch lost sight of the fight. The sounds of destruction and roars of rage confirmed the carnage, as did the numerous particle effects who flashed over the walls. Dominant above all else, lightning bounced everywhere, generated ad infinitum.

The main dungeon collapsed, followed by the inner wall. The serpent towers faded away. The dust settled slowly. The Matriarch calmly walked out of the ruin, followed by one surviving minion. They walked back to their original valley, the annoyance purged out of their system. Enoch watched them off with gratitude. Good old lightning enchanted ogres.

Achievement unlocked | Shock and Awe

You have caused mayhem and destruction on an unimaginable scale. Mercy to your enemies.

Reward | 12 000 XP

Trumpets blew in an epic crescendo. Purple light enveloped him, the first-place marker. There were still other players out there and nearly four hours left to the game. No matter, he would run until the end. No one would catch him. He had already won.