“I am confused. Is this some weird attempt of seduction? I’m not going to complain if it is, just curious.”

“I-.” Barry could only sigh and sit back dejectedly on the chair, rubbing at his temples. “Could we talk about it a bit more seriously? I don’t know who else to turn to.”

The shorter maiden raised her gaze from the metal filament she’d been holding onto. “You said you want to fuck me more often. I fail to see how that’s not an attempt to get me all hot and bothered. My pants are already falling off. Feel free to finish the process.” She wiggled her hips as she smiled up at him, the worn cotton trousers she’d been wearing slipping nearly to the edge of her rump.

For better and worse, though, Barry was seated opposite to her, so her face occupied the majority of his field of view. “I said that I don’t think I can handle that many relationships.”

“So don’t make it romantic. Bam, in and out, in and out, in and out, someone cries, someone moans, naughty fluids all over. Done, presto, that’s that.” She shrugged. “The itch gets scratched, your balls get empty, the girl gets her bush ruffled.” Lala paused for a moment, glancing back down at the filament, her glowing finger reaching out to caress the metal. “Speaking of bushes, I noticed you kinda kept gawking at mine, so I shaved it. It’s a bit of a strange feeling, but I hope you’ll like it.”

Stuttering, his face lit up like a firework, Barry made a point to look away. “A-anyway, I don’t think I like making things so… casual. Impersonal.”

“Then don’t? Just make it fun. Tell them about them having to earn the bush-scratching, ask them to romance you or impress you or whatever. Guys do that all the time, nothing weird about it.” She didn’t raise her gaze from her work as she rubbed at it slowly up and down, the dark gray material slowly shifting into a bluer tone. “Maybe have her tie you up, maybe play some spank games, maybe stuff her butt, whatever you want to experiment with. Oooh! Maybe make her call you Papa, heard that one makes some men hard like a Quartzal’s wing. Are you into that? Papa?”

“No, wait, stop, just… stop.” He shook his head emphatically.

“But it’s fun.” Lala pouted, putting the filament down on the stained cloth once the blue had started to glow softly. “Do you know how having a guy just look at you like you’re a Succubus makes a gal feel?” She leaned forward, a finger dipping into the neckline of her shirt and pulling it down. Barry saw her modest naked breasts underneath, unable to look away fast enough, and his reward being Lala’s face lighting up with a smug grin. “Do you like them?”

“I… said I do, repeatedly.”

“I still like hearing it.” She raised a knee on to the table, raising herself until she was crawling on its hard surface, getting closer to Barry with every swing of her hips. Until their faces were so close, her hot breath tickled his lips. “Well?”

“…I like your breasts.” He mumbled, and her smile lit up as her cheeks turned slightly red.

The maiden leaned forward, leaving a peck on his forehead. “Careful, I might ravage you if you keep talking all sexy like that.”

“Work, you have work to do.”

“And you keep interrupting me so you can vent how awful it is that you have maidens fawning over you and wanting to jump your bones.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re acting like this is strange.”

“It is!” Barry replied. “For me it is, a lot.”

“Here it isn’t.” Lala flopped on the table, using her elbows to prop her head as she stared at him with a bored roll of her eyes. “There’s something like ten maidens for every human male, and not all guys out there are open to having more than a handful.” Her face stilled for a moment as she shook her head. “Look, I know ‘wildling girls’ get a fame for…” Another pause, then a chuckle. “Right, you’re an otherworlder, almost forgot.”

“It’s hard, you know? I’ve…” He shook his head. “I’ve never been popular, or, well, desired like… that… I’m not that sort of guy. I… want a connection.”

Lala hopped off of the table, dusting herself off and shrugging her shoulders a bit. “Then don’t be that sort of guy.”

“What?”

“You don’t want to be a sex-nut, then don’t be.” She leaned against the table, looking at him critically up and down. “Though with those soft arms and round face of yours… oof, it’s already a miracle no one’s jumped you yet.” She let out a giggle, turning into a laugh as Barry’s face turned beet red.

“I’m… I’m trying to be serious.”

“And so am I, Barry.”

“Then what should I do?”

“You’re asking a Doggirl to meow.” Lala shifted, wriggling her hips as she moved to a workbench at the side. “Best I can offer is to help you split the problem into smaller parts. You want to bond these maidens, right?”

“Embla said I have to.” He nodded along, absently glancing at the glowing blue wires she’d left at the original spot she’d been working at.

“And does it matter how you do it so long as you do it?”

“I… think not.”

“Then you just need to find a way to get a maiden to bond you without fucking her.” Lala tapped her chin. “Gee, if only there were some way to do that.”

“Lala…”

“I know, I know, offworlder, you’re not aware of all the details or customs.” She shrugged her shoulders, bringing a clay jar and some vials to the table. “The way bonds are usually formed, over at the Kingdom I mean, is that the maiden gets her collar taken off, kneels, pledges allegiance, and gets her collar put on.” Pouring the first vial onto the jaw, the green liquid sizzled softly as she began to drop the pieces of blue metal into it. “They need some training to get their own emotions aligned just right for it to work, but we’ve all escaped the Kingdom, we know how it works.”

“And how do you… made bonds with the new collars?”

Lala grimaced slightly. “I don’t know the others, it was different for each one, I just… stepped on them.”

“What.”

“Step on them. The human I’d been bonded to was a slaver, I kept stepping on him and stomping on him, riling myself up for all the horrible things he’d done, pushing to feel like I was in control of him… until the bond… clicked.” Lala shuddered, shaking her head. “Now that I’m bonded to you, I can see there was something twisted about the whole thing.”

A slight nod. “I’m at least sure I don’t want to be stepped on.”

“Well, there goes THAT item from my list.” Lala sighed, shoulders slumping dejectedly as she reached into the jaw and pulled out the wires. They were now slightly yellowish, the glow having died down.

“What are you doing, anyway?”

“Hm?” She caressed the yellowish metal now that she’d dried it off. Slowly, she was starting to make it glow again. “Just making a batch of earrings to test some things on.”

“What sort of tests?”

“Oh, you know, this and that.” She chuckled, glancing at him with a smirk. “By any chance would you happen to have a favorite color?”

Barry felt like her eyes were focusing on his ears, and the urge to run began to surge within him. He pinned it down. “When you did the bond, what do you do?”

“It’s just a concentration exercise.” Lala replied simply. “You just focus on things that remind you of the emotion you want to feel. There're some tricks to it, personally I just like to make them into a chain.”

“Chain… a chain?”

“Just put new links as you go.” She paused, putting down the wires and turning to look at him. “It’s really easy once you get used to it. All maidens in the Kingdom have to train into it to avoid accidents. Like this. I’d approach you and kneel.” She did this, lowering her head, enough that the nape of her neck was exposed, though no collar was to be had. “I’d start thinking about Lady Embla, and how much I trust her to keep me safe. I’d focus on the trust as you’d touch my neck and remove my collar… pretend you’re doing that.” She gasped as Barry caressed her dark chocolate-colored skin, right near the hairline. “Then I’d move into something more specific about you, about how the Lady gave you an important position, how she trusts you in turn, and how easy it is to believe in that.” Another slight shiver. She raised her gaze. “I’d look up at you and focus on how handsome you are with the light shining above, how much I want to put myself in your arms, how-.”

She crossed the distance, silencing herself with his lips. The kiss came with her hands reaching under his shirt, caressing his chest and stomach. Barry hugged her close, and she sunk into his embrace.

With a deep breath, they took a step back from one another.

Lala’s eyes fluttered open.

“And I’d be bonded to you.” She spoke with a slight whisper, smiling from ear to ear, touch lingering on his hips. “Did that help?”

He blinked and nodded.

“I… think I have an idea.”