《Congratulations, You're Dead!》# 61
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"Hey Mittens." I scoop up the kitten and steal the chair he was sitting in before placing him in my lap. "I need some pet therapy little guy, and you're it." He starts purring as I scratch behind his ears.
"Everything okay?" Apricot stops playing, and comes to join me on the small couch. "Did Vivian upset you, or something? Want me to go rough her up?" She draws a smile from me.
"No, she's probably feeling pretty rough as it is right now." I explain about the imposter and the Queen's little speech. "I am so glad I'm not royalty, being Marquis of an empty grasslands is bad enough." I say with a sigh.
"I'm surprised she didn't ask you to help interrogate the woman, especially after what you did to that kidnapper."
"I think she was about to, but then changed her mind." I shake my head. "Glad she did too, I'm still a bit sick about what I did in the heat of the moment to that kidnapper. To do it again premeditatively, I just don't think I could. Or, if I did, that it would break something in me."
"You are such a softie." My pixie pecks me on the cheek. "So, what else needs to be done for the party?"
"Not much; the entertainment is pretty much covered, though I still need to make some duplicates and spread them throughout the house. Kyle is handling the extra servants, and I'll do the cooking tomorrow while they're getting acquainted with the place. Today, I've really only got to make the party favors, and add some more ambiance to the garden. I'd hoped to take these three days to build golems, but I can just use Light spells."
"Well, at least you got some more Rune games done on the trip, and it's not like it was without rewards." She flexes her bicep to show off her new-found strength.
"Mhm. Just hope it didn't mess up Amelia's little project." I fish for clues.
"No, she's... Hey, don't think you can get it out of me that easily." She almost fell for it.
"Eh, worth a shot." I try to mess up her hair, but it's always springs back into a big round mop, so my efforts go for naught. "What about you? You can't just want to stay at home playing games all the time."
"Yes, I can." She chuckles, and ruffles my hair, but it's too short to do much to. "Seriously, I'm happy to just laze around and let you keep me entertained. Just keep up the tasty food, movies, music, games, and toys." She winks. "And, I'm good."
"Are all pixies hedonists, or is it just you?" I chuckle.
"No, it's pretty much all of us." She laughs with me. "We only need magic to survive, so our days are spent just having fun. You lunkers take everything too seriously."
"Trust me I want for nothing but a life filled with silliness and fluff." I floof up the kitty.
"Be nice to the poor little thing." She smoothes his fur back down. "Well, no matter how serious life gets, you've got Amelia and me here to help you handle it."
"Thank you." I kiss her on the forehead. "If it wasn't for finding her and you I'd probably be wandering around the woods, wiping out the local wolf population. Now, I've got a life and a family, even if things get a bit too serious sometimes."
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"Yeah, how are your nightmares doing? Did they start including any giant worms?" She snickers at the look that crosses my face.
"Gee thanks. I'm sure that isn't going to put the thought in my head." I didn't have any problem with bad dreams until we reached the city, and I finally felt I could relax and deal with what I went through. "None this morning, but I think I was too tired to dream. And, they've been getting better lately anyways. Thanks to you two."
"We'll be there tonight if this imposter business brings up anything." She puts her arm around my shoulder. "But for now, you've got hundreds of runes to create, and I've got a high score to raise even higher. These new stats are awesome."
"You are such a goof." I pat her on the butt and start playing Pinball Wizard as she heads back to the machine. It's always fun to watch her bob along to the music while playing.
I'm still a bit peckish, so I make a bag of popcorn and share it with Apricot by floating kernels past her mouth as she plays. She takes control of the music player after The Who finish playing, and puts on one of her upbeat dance song playlists.
While she's dancing in place, I retrieve some silica from my inventory and fashion several hundred glass cubes. The camera bodies I fashion out of wood, even though each one only takes me seconds to enchant, there's still hundreds of them. So, it takes me a good half hour before they're all done.
Not wanting to go outside, I just sit there and send my mind to explore the garden. I start by adding light everywhere, each plant made to look like it's glowing while shimmering dandelion seeds made from pure magic waft about illuminating the various pathways
I start on the wildlife next, I add fish, snails, and frogs to the pond. Then to feed them, some water striders, mayflies, and water boatmen. I also make a pair of damselflies, one blue and one orange to go along with the dragonfly golem.
Moving on, I begin to fill out the rest of the garden with the bugs and small animals from the merry-go-round. My favorite being ruby ladybugs munching on glowing yellow-green aphids.
Then, in a nod to Norse mythology I turn the waterfalls rainbow colored, and place a serpent at the base of the tree, a squirrel in its branches, and an eagle on its crown. These and all the other creatures have been given a simple routine to follow, and enough magic to last for days.
"That garden looks amazing babe." Amelia says sitting down next to me. I barely even noticed her return, I was so caught up with decorating. "It's already dark, why don't you take a break and we can get dinner ready."
"Sounds good." I smile. "I'm still hungry, got too caught up yesterday, and even the extra snacks before and after lunch didn't help much. Let's make something hearty, I'm feeling pasta." I pull her up and drag her and Apricot into the kitchen. "Maybe noodles and meatballs with cheesy garlic knots? Need veggies too; a Cucumber salad, and do you want stuffed eggplant, or roasted artichokes."
"Artichokes." Apricot speaks up and snags some of the cheese I'm using to make the garlic knots.
"That's fine by me, but what's for dessert?" Amelia shrugs.
"Oh, it's gotta be *tiramisu*. The name literally means 'pick me up'." I explain and smile at the fact that I've pixie-safed coffee. "It's a bit like a trifle, but has coffee in it, so I haven't made it before now. Oh, your parents are home, and they brought Charlie with them. May take them a while to get inside though, they're staring at the garden."
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"It is very stare worthy." She laughs.
"Oh, just wait until I add the fireflies." I snap my fingers and the kitchen fills with them. "I'm going to have them all over the garden."
"Aww, pretty. I love glowbugs." Apricot shrinks down and starts chasing them.
We have a little dog-fight in the middle of the kitchen. Wings of lightning bugs working together to try and attack her, all while dodging and using the floating food as cover. She starts capturing troops by taking control of the spell, and we're in the middle of one truly epic mid-air battle when Kaitlyn, Turner, and Charlie enter the room.
Amelia's parents take it in stride, but Charlie just stands there dumbfounded. Apricot and I look at each other for a second, before grinning like mad men. The fighters sweep past each other and start making a beeline for the merchant.
"Aahhh!" He screams as they impact and bounce off of him only to fly back and start clinging to his body. We all start giggling as he tries to brush them away only to have them explode into glowing glitter.
"Hey, Charlie. How you been?" I say between giggles.
He finally understands what going on, and frowns for a moment before breaking into a wide grin. "Alright, you got me." He shakes his head with a laugh. "I've been good, but is it always like this here?" He directs to Turner.
"Mhm, you tend to get used to it." Amelia's dad snatches a garlic knot from the air. "Ooh, these are good."
"Wait until he sets the table, dear." His wife scolds him, but grabs one for herself.
"Come. Sit, sit. Everything's ready now, and there's a new dessert for afterwards." I pull a couple bottles of a near-merlot from the pantry while the table sets itself. "This fruity red should go well with the tomato sauce." The corks fly out and the wine spirals through the air to fill six glasses.
"You get used to this?" Charlie says with a laugh.
"When he does the same thing every time he cooks, yes." Kaitlyn answers. "Amelia's even started to copy him when she's in the kitchen."
"It's good magic practice." She defends herself while loading up her plate.
We make small talk over the meal, but it's not until the tiramisu comes out that Charlie explains the reason for his visit.
"Mmm, is that coffee?" He moans after taking a bite of the chilled dessert. "And, is this stuff on top chocolate?"
"Cocoa powder, yes." I reply after savoring my own bit.
"Ah, that's actually why I came over today." He says between forkfuls. "I know you plan to sell it through Turner, but he's agreed to let me handle the shipping. I need to know how well it travels though."
"Oh, quite well." I nod excitedly. "If kept cool and dry, it can maintain its quality for months, or even years. Too much humidity or too high temperatures will cause sugar and fat blooms respectively. These are marked by a whitish discoloration of the chocolate. The chocolate is still safe to eat at this point, but the flavor and mouth feel will be slightly off. But, you can just melt it down, and re-temper it, if you really need to."
"That is excellent news." His head bobs just like mine did. "Are there any other issues to worry about?"
"It picks up odors easily, so it should be packed tightly and not stored next to any pungent foods." I shrug unable to think of anything else. "Cocoa powder doesn't have all the fats and sugars that chocolate does, so it will last even longer. Provided it's sealed tightly."
"Ah, but you're the only one who knows how to cook with it."
"So, sell a cookbook. Or, just market each jar of powder with a different recipe." I take a few seconds to transcribe a few dozen chocolate recipes onto paper. "You're the merchants, I'm sure you'll figure it out. Just tell me how many tonnes of the stuff you want."
"Tonnes?" His eyes go wide. "Oh, I'm going to need extra security. I wonder if John and his team are still around."
"Uncle Charlie." Amelia smiles at the man. "Haha. Haven't you figured out by now that Sorrel doesn't do things by halves?" She gestures out the window to the glowing garden.
"I can provide you with some defensive runes too." I offer. "I'm not sure what prices you all are working out, but it's probably safe to say the stuff is nearly worth its weight in gold."
"You're not far off." Turner has a shit eating grin on his face. "Your man Kyle told me that every single person you invited asked if there would be chocolate at the party. And, several of them wanted to work out some deals."
"Oh? I'll be sure to send anyone who bugs me about it at the party over to you." I chuckle at the look of greed that fills his face. "The price is bound to come down eventually, but we might as well rake it in while we can." Amelia seems happy to hear me say that, which is exactly why I did so.
We retired to the game room after dinner to chat and get Charlie's perspective on the games. He and Turner got into a pretty heated air-hockey match, only to have Kaitlyn come along and whip both of them at it.
***
I woke with the sun, eager to get the last minute preparations for the party done. Leaving the girls to sleep in a bit more, I sneak downstairs and meet Charlie in the kitchen as he's looking for an early snack.
"Morning." I greet the balding merchant as he's rummaging around in the cupboards. "I was just about to fix a quick meal. You want anything in particular?"
"No, thank you. I was just going to have some bread and jam, but you've got a dozen different types here." He lets out a quiet laugh. "Not even sure what some of these are. Never heard of boysenberry, for example."
"Oh, that's one of my favorites, it's a cross between blackberries, raspberries, and dewberries." I pull a jar of it from the cupboard and toast some thick bread slices.
"Mind toasting a couple slices for me too? Even after all these years I still burn it whenever I try to make toast." He laughs at himself.
"Sure, and thanks for the idea." I make him some toast and start building a toaster. "I've already got a rune based oven, but it heats everything evenly." I explain after noticing the quizzical look on his face. "You don't want bread toasted on the inside, just the outside. So, I'm making a toaster."
The finished product is modeled after one of those clear glass toasters. I drop a slice in and turn the dial to medium before pressing the start button. A few seconds later a perfectly toasted slice of bread is ready. Pushing down the lever on one side drops the toast into my hand.
"Oh, that'll be useful." Kaitlyn says while walking to the kitchen island. "Could you get me a couple slices too?" I make another slice and float it, and the one I just made onto a plate for her. A jar of grape jam and a small pot of butter join it on the counter in front of her.
"Want anything else? I was just going to have toast, but it's no trouble."
"Thank you dear, but this is fine." She starts buttering the toast.
"If you're offering, I wouldn't mind some sausage and eggs." Turner enters the room carrying Mittens. "Think this little guy is hungry too." A "mrow" confirms his suspicions. "Man, he doesn't look it, but he's kinda hefty for a kitten."
"Really?" I walk over and pick him up. "Hey bud, is all this Mana turning you into a super kitty?" I sat after running a quick scan of his body. "He's healthy, but you're right his muscles and bones are a bit more dense than before."
"Hah, even your pets are magical." Charlie guffaws.
"A lot of the wildlife are actually adapting the higher level of ambient magic in similar ways." I explain. "I almost crashed the Rocket the other day because a vole was making it's burrow in the stone underneath a bridge, causing it to collapse."
"That's a little disturbing." His guffaw turns into a nervous laugh.
"Yeah, but the dungeon would have brought this change eventually. The Mana Well is just speeding up the process." I set Mittens down and produce a bowl of meat for him. "Do you want some minced mousie? Huh, you silly little kitty you." He purrs and starts chowing down.
"You do know that he's supposed to hunt down the mice for you, not the other way around, right?" Turner laughs as his breakfast finishes cooking and plates itself in front of him.
"The mouse is more likely to eat him." I counter. "This little trouble magnet has zero survival skills." I return to my breakfast. "So, are you staying for the party today Charlie?"
"I have some things to do today, but I'll be back for it later." He replies after drinking a gulp of water. "Speaking of." He turns to Turner. "Are you going in to work today? Mind if I catch a ride?"
"Yeah, we're just going to check in at the warehouse before doing some shopping though. We can leave after breakfast."
"When are you two going to let me make you a car?" I project an image of Turner behind the wheel with his arm around Kaitlyn, the wind blowing her hair back as they race around the counter tops.
"Hahah. Thanks for the offer, but I'm more used guiding a horse around than trying to control that beastie." I have mini-turner spin the wheel too hard, making the car go out of control and over the edge where it explodes into sparkles upon hitting the ground. "Yeah, hahahah. That didn't help. Hahaaah." He sighs out a laugh while shaking his head.
"Oh, looks like Kyle is almost here." I picked him up on my Sorrel-senses when he turned onto the block. "I should go greet him, and see if any last-minute issues have cropped up before I get to work expanding the parking area."
"Could you get the horse hitched for us? Since you're going that way." Turner says around a mouth full of food.
"No problem." I wave and walk out of the kitchen.
***
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- In Serial20 Chapters
Sword System Academia
2/17 NOTICE: I'm putting this on hiatus, possibly permanently. I didn't want to spam with an "update chapter", so hopefully here and in the story blurb will get enough eyeballs. There are a couple reasons for ending SSA for now. 1) I wrote the next chapter but wasn't happy with it. I've been less and less satisfied with SSA's quality the more I thought about it. Part of the reason is... 2) I am seriously thinking about trying to publish some novels to help pay the bills, since I don't have my other source of income anymore. I have never asked for anything from SSA readers, no money, not even a review or rating. SSA is written for fun to amuse myself, primarily, and I would kind of feel bad actually charging someone money for something as unserious as that. I don't think it is good enough to ask anything in return. To use an analogy from music, SSA is more like a jam session with a bunch of friends. You're just chiling and having fun playing some music. I mean, if you are Mozart or even Eminem, your jam session is good enough to sell, but for an amateur beginner like myself, haha, no. If I want to publish something, I feel like I need to go the proper route of practice and rehearsals, which might be more similar to a classical concert performance. With SSA, I work from worldbuilding notes and a loose outline, but what you are essentially getting is the first draft with lots of so-called pantsing. Pushing out a web novel like this also means it is very difficult to go back and improve things without breaking everything else downstream. I wanted to try this "jamming" approach, as it was a good way to teach me about another aspect of writing, but to move forward, I think I need to hone my "classical" techniques, which emphasize rewriting, or at least, revising outlines. 3) While I intend to try to make $$$, my actual current goal is to "get gud". I've spent a lot of time recently trying to understand the self-publishing industry, and I'm pretty sure I can make some money by using short-term strategies with my current amateur skill level. But I've seen too many authors come and go/burnout, and really, the only way that I think I can enjoy writing and still make money on a long-term basis is to become a better writer. And the next step for me, which I haven't done much before, is to spend more time on rewriting and outlines. That is pretty much antithetical to the way SSA is developing. I've always been kind of 20/80 plotting/pantsing, but I want to spend a lot more time outlining before I even start writing. SSA jam sessions don't really fit my goal anymore. If you're curious about what's next, read on... Among other regrets, I regret not finishing SSA. It's the first story I've dropped, but then again, it's the first web novel I've attempted, so I suppose that's not a surprise. I don't think traditional web novel formats suit me that well. The whole SSA story I had loosely planned (beyond a first book or major arc) is way too large as well. Big story = good for neverending webnovel with Patreons, bad for penniless and fickle writer like me. I am currently outlining a complete trilogy to another story in great detail. I want the story to end concisely, and I also want the chance to really spend a lot of time on the full outline to spot pacing problems, character issues, lost themes, and so on. I'll still share this story on RR. What I intend to do is finish book 1, flash-publish the whole thing here for a few weeks, then publish on the big Zon. Repeat for books 2 and 3. The upcoming story will be about crafting heroes. The backdrop is an isekai-like setting, where elves will summon humans to their world as heroes, but the whole hero crafting business is still in its infancy. The elven mage researchers are figuring out how to imbue heroes with power, while the heroes are trying to figure out how to use the powers that they gain. Humans are the best hero templates because they are blank and have no intrinsic magic. Or at least that what the elves thought. The human MC has his own secrets... There will be some similarities with litrpgs, but I would call it more a progression fantasy or gamelit story. For example, the stats are very low, at least initially. Say we have a stat called Str. Going from Str = 1 to Str = 2 is a huge deal. Also, going from Dex = 0 to Dex = 1 is an even bigger deal. I guess you could call it a "low-stat litrpg", haha. Also, the heroes won't be gaining stats simply by killing things or leveling up. You can't increase stats arbitrarily, either. There will be rules to how stats can increase, and how they work with each other. The elven mages will be figuring out these rules in order to craft stronger and stronger heroes. Some inspiration will be from cultivation magic systems, but there won't be overt cultivation, at least for now. A theme I really want to explore is the idea of interactions. That includes things like hero crafter vs hero, tactics vs strategy, skill synergies, racial interactions (dwarves, elves, etc), and son. Yeah, so hero crafting. I'm super excited about this project and venturing into publishing. If you want to check out the upcoming story, you can follow my RR author profile to see when it drops here. Finally... THANK YOU TO EVERYONE! I'm very sorry that SSA is stopping, but I hope at least some of you will find the next story at least as enjoyable, if not more. Thanks to all the readers who gave SSA a shot. Big hug or solid fistbump to all of you, whichever you prefer! I hope this message is not a downer but an upper, because I am psyched!! -purlcray -------------- BLURB: Talen, youngest Master of the Koroi, makes his way to the Empire's capital to salvage his clan's fate. But the bustling city has few opportunities for the traditionalist. For the old sword clans are fading. With the rise of alchemy, gold can purchase strength that ordinarily took years of training to cultivate. Sword artists, once rare and accomplished, are quickly growing in number, especially among the wealthy noble class. Even with such alchemy, though, no one has advanced to the rank of Grandmaster in countless years. Talen's true dream is to walk the path of a sword artist to the very end while fulfilling his clan duties. And then the Swordgeists return, fabled founders of all sword arts, gods who had touched the world long ago and vanished. These myths turned into reality warn of a coming threat. Alongside this warning, they issue an invitation to the Sword System Academy, a path to power beyond the mortal realm. But first, they will hold an entrance exam... Story notes:Sword System Academia blends elements of western and asian fantasy such as xianxia and litrpg. I took parts from different genres I enjoyed and twisted them into my own creation. There will be an explicit system, both of the litrpg kind and the hard(ish) magic kind, but it is embedded within an academic structure that will develop over the course of the story. This is my attempt to design a unique type of system, the System Academia.
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zo·di·ac: (noun) a belt of the heavens divided into twelve equal divisions or signs (Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces)The signs of the Zodiac give us insights into our day to day living as well as the many talents and special qualities we possess. Anyone can discover a great deal of relevant information about themselves by reading about their Zodiac sign. Find your true self!HIGHEST RANKING: #17 in Random //7-3-17\DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these posts, they belong to the rightful owners.
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Y/n is summoned back to Ninjago just as Lloyd is about to be possessed by Morro. After she releases Lloyd from the ghost's hold, things don't get easier from there. The ninja soon find out that the cursed realm is not what it seems.In the meantime, the overlord is planning his return to New Ninjago City, never giving the ninja team a break. The overlord is after Lloyd's golden power, but soon he discovers that y/n might actually be more valuable...•Book 2 in the "The Enchanted DVD Player" seriesHighest Rankings:#1 Lloydxreader 26/09/2019#1 ninjagoships 12/04/2020#1 ninjagofanfiction 14/01/2022Started: September 2019Completed: October 2019Notice: if this story is found on any website other than Wattpad, then it has been taken without permission
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