《Apotheosis - The Grand Dungeon of Kess》Interlude: Ads Up
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Myles Chase stood smiling at the recording crystal as Trosana gave him the thumbs up and he held up one of the cinnamon rolls, one of the many not left to the fate of the others in the background as Lyna, Will, Kendra, and even Ashra were taking bites of their sweet treats. Lyna was praying to a member of the Pantheon as he spoke.
“I’m Myles Chase, leader of the Rising Stars, and I’m here to talk to you about one of my sponsors, The Rising Star Bakery.” The grin on his face grew, though anyone that knew him would know it was nerves rather than excitement. “They have the best cookies for your coin, so if you’re hungry and in Hazen, South of the capital, stop in or go to any of the Rising Star Bakery branches in the Kess Royal City, Savin, or even as far-flung as the shores of Kess’s southern coast in Weld. My favorite is the cinnamon roll.”
“Mine too!” Lyna said through a mouthful of the sweet, sticky treat.
Myles nodded. “So, take two Runner’s advice and go to the bakery for all your sweet and savory needs.”
Trosana smiled. “And that’s good!”
Myles sighed softly as the energy left him for the moment. “That was harder than I thought.”
“You did well all the same!” Trosana complimented walking over to pat his shoulder.
“Yeah, I’ve been saying stuff like that for the bakery since before we were royal.”
“It shows.”
“Hated it then, too.”
“Comes with the territory,” she commented simply. “When they’re done, we can get the others done.”
Kendra wiped her mouth, cleaning off any crumbs as she grinned. “I’ll go next.”
***
As Kendra stood there, Myles couldn’t put his finger on why she looked different. She’d seemed excited about something, and he assumed that was what she was about to speak about, but she still hadn’t said what it was. As he began chewing on the cinnamon roll that he’d so rudely ignored, Ashra noticed it first.
“Her shirt fits better now that her chest is smaller.”
Myles choked.
“I’m Kendra Kessa, one of the Rising Star Runners. I know, you’re used to seeing a bit more of me, but thanks to my new sponsor, Vanessa’s Armory, I can make sure that I’m a smaller target with their warriors and athlete’s best friend, the bra of holding!”
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Myles continued to choke as she unequipped the item for emphasis as Ashra smacked him hard on the back, knocking the would-be murderous treat from his windpipe. The lack of equipment drastically changed the shape she so obviously cut before reequipping it from her inventory and returning her shirt to a less form-fitting appearance.
Lyna cheered as Will said as little as Tail, blending into the background as much as the Korgan had by this point.
“The way humans use magic never ceases to amaze me.”
Myles wanted to argue, but he was too busy regaining his breath and the wits he’d lost. Kendra didn’t miss a beat.
“Everyone loves large chests,” she laughed, looking right at Myles who stood to the right of Trosana’s recording crystal, “But they aren’t the best when you’re trying to decapitate a wolven. So, if you’re fighting for your life and have a little more on top, trust Vanessa’s Armory to protect your valuables and your chest! Tell her I sent you, and she might give you a discount. Well, probably not, but she’ll keep sending me stuff if you keep buying from her in Cenna, and plenty of other cities across Kess and the world.”
For a long while, no one said anything as Kendra stood triumphant.
“Kendra,” Trosana finally said after it was obvious she’d cut the recording. “You are going to go far with your sponsors after that show.”
“Oh, I know,” She laughed. “Think I can get the higher-end model next month?”
“I’ll put in a good word.”
***
The rest of the team wasn’t as dead set on their item of choice and took their time picking through their loot. It was important to decide exactly who they wanted to support further. With Myles supporting his father and Kendra making sure she was an able combatant, it was no one’s surprise that the first to make their decision was the ever happy-go-lucky halfling.
After a quick word with Trosana, Lyna came to the same spot the others had occupied minutes ago and smiled at her friends behind the crystal. Nothing was out of place with her, but Rocky was in her hand now, rather than on her helmet. A moment later, she produced a small helmet from her inventory and placed it upon his rocky head. It was strange enough a sponsor had sent her something for Rocky, but whoever had known her well enough to know the smaller, purple metal banded, open-faced helmet would go over well.
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The star sapphire eyes glimmered as the helmet fit the rock perfectly and allowed him to balance standing up on her hand as she began. “Rocky needed his own armor and Lurker’s Lucky Lances and Light Armory delivered. I didn’t even know stuff like this existed, but Lurker crafted a helmet out of puraura with perfect balance to help him with his falling issues. If he can do that, imagine what else he could do. It came with an amulet with the same enchantment, but I can’t really show it as well as he can.”
To emphasize the point, she leaned in and whispered in a spot where his ear would have been before, grinned, and flicked the rock into the air like a copper coin. Rocky flew higher than any of them thought possible from the flick, giving credence to the raw strength of the [Master of Arms]. For a moment, Rocky was out of sight of even Myles before careening back to the ground and landing with a soft thud on the ground.
Rocky stood triumphant, helmet towards the sky, eyes twinkling from the noonday sun.
No one questions it as Lyna finished her display.
“So, yeah. Lurker’s Lucky Lances and Light Armory is pretty awesome. Check them out wherever they are.”
Trosana made the familiar motion and sighed. “You don’t remember where they were?”
“Rocky got the message all muddy.”
“Where did you find mud in the time between opening it, reading it, and…”
Kendra interrupted the woman as she cleared her throat.
“We have a rule not to really ask those questions when it comes to Lyna.”
***
Tail was next. They wore a single, gleaming silver ring with three sapphires. The gems shimmered with the light of enchantment as Tail held their hand out to display the item for just a moment before speaking with all the energy of rolling fog.
“If you need magical equipment like rings or amulets, check out Dingo’s Ring-Gos. The enchantments are high quality and are slow to lose their charge when used. I’ve been actively using this ring, and I have yet to drain more than two percent… three percent of the charge.”
Trosana made a stretching motion with her hands.
Tail ignored her.
“I’m done.”
“You barely said anything, Tail.”
“It’s all that needs to be said.”
“They sent you a masterwork, plus three Ring of Regeneration!” Trosana argued as the group did their level best not to snicker at the woman’s obvious frustration.
“And I thanked them for it,” Tail shrugged. “If they have been watching me, they know what to expect.”
With that, the Korgan moved from the spot in front of the recording stones, leaving no room for argument from the Time’s [Journalist].
***
Will’s smug grin was something that was etched on Myles’s mind as he flourished his new cloak with a practiced flick of his wrist, enveloped himself in the cloak’s material, and vanished.
Well, vanished might have been too strong of a word.
The air shimmered where he had been, the light bending and warping around where he’d been like looking through a clean glass cup.
A few moments later, the cloth pulled back and Will stood proudly as the fog gray cape returned to its position behind him, flicking only slightly in the breeze.
“This cape was provided to me by my benefactor, Karma Chameleon’s Accessories, where no good deed goes unrewarded, and Classes can find whatever they need to blend in.”
Lyna and Kendra groaned at the pun, but Myles just smiled. He could appreciate a good joke when he heard one.
“With that said, you can submit to Karma’s [Truth Seeker] verdict for a ten percent discount if you’ve done a good deed out of the kindness of your heart in the last day. Remember, if you need to blend in, think of Karma Chameleon’s Accessories.”
A familiar gesture later, and Trosana gave the [Distortion Mage] a slow clap. “Didn’t think you were a showman.”
“Yeah,” Kendra added. “When did you learn to perform like that?”
Will shrugged.
“I’ve done a lot of things in my life. A little stage act isn’t much.”
“You’ll have to tell me that story at some point.”
“I’ll need a few drinks for that story,” Will grinned. “Your Gran wouldn’t let me live that story down, and I don’t intend to dig it back up.
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alphabet lore x reader oneshots
since my satire fanfic got some attention im making this. if anyone requests O or L im actually killing myself 💀 /nsrs
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