Something happened, and I have no idea what. And that terrifies me.

It happened around lunch time when I triggered my Fate to grow. Now normally it grows by a small, manageable amount. Usually the worst that happens is I trip and fall or otherwise embarrass myself in a small way. This has given me a bit of a reputation as a clutz, but it's not like anyone is going to say that any louder than a hushed whisper.

This time though, this time was different. All at once I received a massive increase in my own Fate, easily outstriping all of the Fate I have ever built up by a pretty big margin. Something similar happened right before I was kidnapped, though not to this degree.

It was so much Fate that I was unable to keep it from correcting itself, immediately forcing me to burn my Fate. This particular event came in the form of insight into the nature of the soul. Recognizing the line of thought immediately for what it was I sat down and started meditating on it, shutting everything else out.

The scary part is that nothing bad has happened yet. Which means that whatever it is has already happened, and I've just yet to feel the results. It would have to be something that took no more than a moment, and the only thing I can think of is a decision. Someone somewhere decided on something that will lead to my inevitable death. You don't build up this much Fate at one time without dying.

But Fate always leaves a way out of death. It does what it can to keep your mind intact. For whatever reason knowledge of the soul is going to be immediately relevant for my own survival, or at least for the continuation of my soul. Any moral quandaries I had before pale in comparison to that.

Of course I could be completely mistaken about the nature of Fate, but I really don't want to take that risk. Especially not when my own mind is at stake.

And now I am super paranoid. Jerkling my head at every shadow, jumping at every loud noise, and teleporting away at the slightest hint of danger. I need to calm down, do something to take my mind off of the fact that I have definite proof of my own impending death. I did make a deal with that dungeon to teach me how to use the soul, maybe I can get him to teach me more? It will hopefully take my mind off of it.

It's kinda funny, I just got over one death scare and now I'm dealing with another.

I'm glad I have Azrezel to comfort me. Without him I likely would have ended up in a crying, shivering, fearful mess all day, instead of just for a couple hours. He puts up with me so well. I don't say it often enough, but I love my big undead angel. I mean technically he's an undead Seraphim now, but he used to be an angel so whatever.

Anyway, I think I am actually going to sleep tonight, it should relieve some stress. So Good Night Diary.