《Reincarnated as a Troll in a Dark Fantasy World》Intermission: How to screw up a reincarnation.
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---------- That-same-guy-from-before's POV --------------
I have been thinking lately, but working in the Transmigration Department of the Reincarnation Processing Center is awesome!
The veritable stuff of legends, should I say.
In the few cycles I've been working here, countless gods have sent us requests for heroes, desperate princesses have prayed their virginal hearts out for salvation from some demon king or other equally cataclysmic disaster, and even a king from a realm that is named exactly like a northern island in western Europe asked for a hero to work as a shining example for the people ages to come, an 'avatar' as he named him.
Selecting a hero's soul from the countless ones that pass through this facility every day, polishing the soul vessel crystal, loading with some very awesome skills and powers and later receiving the thanks of an entire world for saving them or correcting some cosmic imbalance, what could be more important than that. I have one subject I am researching lately, is why most of the heroes we pick come from a certain archipelago in the eastern part of Earth... but no significant evidence is present. It is just it is about three standard deviations above the relative amount of heroes-per-capita of other countries.
All those wonders, in a department manned by two workers! It is an awesome productivity. An awesome responsibility.And this is the reason I am puzzled as to why we are currently locked up in our laboratory without working on any hero, or even going out. The few soul vessels we have here aren't ready yet.
Jack is even using some of these soul vessels to board up the door. Our supervisor is on the other side, banging on the door and doing some very angry screaming. I don't even know how can he bang on the door when all of us are disembodied floating spectral heads.
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I kept working on the available heroes. Sometimes the deities or summoners have specific requests regarding those powers. There is the need to craft a custom skill crystal. The amalgamated skill crystal then had to be condensed, re-polished, and finally sent to the 'Skill Safety and Quality Assurance' team (SSQA for short), that would spot flaws in the assembly design, and then post bugfix tickets. I went through this process several times, every time a new flaw was discovered. They also pinpoint some bugs and exploits. But those tickets are an endless process of going back and forth.
This remembers me, Jack once loaded a custom skill, on the very first crystal I worked at when I arrived to work here. How did he go past the SSQA process? Maybe I should go ask him.
"Hey Jack, when you loaded that custom skill of yours on our very first job together, how did you get it approved by the SSQA?"
"Those cunts would never approve something I designed without watering it down to the point of making a Magikarp's Splash look like a deathblow from a eldritch abomination from beyond."
"Yes, I understand that any designer would get annoyed by their ceaseless quest for perfection and safety, but how did you get past them?"
"By NEVER submitting it to them. I just crafted it and loaded."
"Isn't it a violation of procedure?"
"Who cares about fucking procedure, we are here to make the AWESOME happen."
A violent bang comes from the other side when Jack shouts.
"Open this door at once, this is a direct order from the supervisor!"
"Jack, we should open the door."
"Nah. Go polish some soul vessel, newbie. Let the veteran here deal with the supervisor."
"Acknowledged." Jack is my direct superior. I should execute his orders to the best of my ability. I pick an unfinished soul vessel that was laying around, and move back to an empty polishing station.
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CRASH! BAM! SLAM!
"What the fuck you just did newbie!!!"
"What is the matter, Jack? Did you ask what I just did? I executed your order. I took a soul vessel to be polished like you asked."
"No, you moron! Not one that is blocking the door. One that has to be worked on."
"Exactly. There is no other requiring immediate work besides the ones by the door."
The door opens. Supervisor floats in the Transmigration Department. If I had to guess, I'd say he is pretty furious. I mean, his usual pale white color is crimson red, and the aura around him is flaring up like flames. If I had to compare it to any image I have in memory from Earth, It would be like a flaming skull. I'm glad nobody asked me to guess the supervisor's mood. I depart from the polishing station to check on the SSQA tickets. Seven.
"Jack you idiot! What have you done. Our system went into alert orange because a soul vessel from this very department is on the verge of shattering."
"I have no idea what are you talking about."
"Stop with your bullshit. Know what, you are under arrest." Supervisor stops addressing Jack, and now seems to be talking to someone else that is not here. " Security, an arrest warrant for Jack from the Transmigration Department has been issued."
"Fuck you, you retarded piece of dick. I'm not going down so easy."
"Well, at least not until security arrives. Meanwhile... You, worker of the Transmigration Department! You are under my direct authority now."
I guess he is talking to me. He addresses Jack by the handle 'Jack'. The Transmigration Department has two employees, Jack and I. So exlcuding Jack, only me is left.
"Yes, supervisor". I acknowledge the supervisor authority, and now I will work directly under the supervisor.
"What is Jack doing right now?"
"Let me see, sir. I believe he is operating his skill crystal terminal. He seems to be unloading some kind of skill."
Jack takes a handful of skill crystals. Amalgamated crystals that are not bearing the SSQA seal are floating in front of his disembodied face. X rated skills.
"So long fuckers!" He shoves the crystals in his mouth and 'eats' them while moving into the transfer terminal.
"You, newbie, stop him." Following boss' orders, I float towards Jack.
Jack makes a beeline for the terminal, and activates it without a vessel inside. Terminal will shut down because of this error. But Jack jumps into the terminal and is transfered.
"Rookie, find out where he went."
"It is not necessary, sir. I have the necessary information. That terminal is broken and locked down on its previous coordinates ever since we tranfered the Soul Vessel you said is breaking."
Something very similar to a vein pops in supervisor's temple. "Newbie, go to the temporary incarnation section, and deliver them this form. I am going to read a skillset for you. You are going down to that world to track both the anomaly and Jack, and bring them both back here."
"Acknowledged, sir."
"When you return I'll debrief you on your assignment. GO!"
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