Hours later, I wake up antsy. The sun is descending on another day I’ve spent in bed, and mother tries to placate me with stories, but I want out. I need out.

She exits the room, giving me a knowing look. “Hon, be careful. You are brave and true, but you believe the best in people. Be careful of your heart.”

I give a small nod, my brow furrowing in confusion. “Alright?” What I meant to be a statement comes out more of a question.

She kisses my forehead. “You’ll know when the time is right.”

The puzzled frown doesn’t leave my face even as she bustles out the door, yelling about something.

I shake my head, a small smile on my face as I try to focus on the book Mom left.

Minutes or hours later, I shut it with a groan, rubbing my forehead. I hardly turned a page, my mind jumping from one thing to the next like a rabbit hopping from Ran. My bones ache and my body is jittery with suppressed energy.

I look over at the door. It is so very tempting, despite Momma and the nurse’s admonition to rest.

“Hear ya need out, sis,” Jack says, coming in through the window, a wide grin on his face and his eyes glinting in the golden waterlight.

I had a knife pulled before he even got his feet on the carpet.

“Jack, you ‘bout gave me a heart attack!”

He gives me an innocent grin. “Surely if you survived a Bamshee you’ll survive little ol’ me.”

I roll my eyes. “You mentioned getting out?”

He throws some clothes from the dresser on the bed. I narrow my eyes at the clothes. The tunic is a pastel pink and the pants are a bright, gaudy red.

“Erm, Jack?” I ask sweetly.

He jerks his head up from contemplating a piece of clothing in his hands. “Yeah?”

“That’s a corset.”

He drops it and turns a deep red. “Umm, yes, well—“

I smile, knowing laughing hurts. “In the closest drawer is a set of white tunic and black pants. Set those on the bed and go to the bathroom.”

“But I don’t need to use the loo—“ He looks from me to the clothes, turns a deep pink again, then hurries into the bathroom without getting the clothes.

I shake my head, an indulgent smile on my face. That boy never did get used to a house of girls. He needs some guy friends.

Ran rolls over on the bed, her eyes glowing golden as she looks at me. You sure about this?

Not really, but sitting here is driving me stir crazy. And besides, I feel much better.

She stretches and yawns. Liar. But fine. I’ll help.

Thanks, beaut. I place a kiss on her nose.

She hops from the bed and opens the dresser drawer with a claw. I wince as she leaves a mark behind, but know better than to comment lest I get another mark on me.

She pulls out the tunic and pants I wanted, catching them in her teeth.

I hold them up, a slobber spot marking both. I raise a brow at my bond.

Her tongue lolls out in a smile. Would you rather I hooked them with a claw?

I glare at her, and her tail wags.

I can’t hold the glare and give her a begrudging smile.

It takes more energy than I’d wish to put the clothes on. And day after tomorrow, I need to get back to the tournament. I’m not sure I’m going to be up for it.

Give me a bit, rider. Me and Rose are working on it… but we’ve all been pushed so hard.

I nod in the midst of heaving breaths as I try to get the energy to get out of bed. Thank goodness for nobles having three-day weekends. Commoners can rarely afford one day off, but nobles and their parties need at least three days before they sign papers into law for commoners whose cloaks they’ve never even tried on.

Your bias is showing, rider. Did you not learn anything from these past weeks with Jenny and Hans? You’ve never walked in their cloaks, either, so don’t think you entirely understand the pressure nobles and royals are under.

Ran, you’re right, but that doesn’t mean all noble practices are good, nor that a lifetime of me thinking like that is going to change in a few weeks.

She looks at me, and if a wolf could raise an eyebrow, she would. These last weeks have changed all of us, not the least of which was your bias about royals and nobles.

That’s actually true. Maybe someone can change.

Ran purrs and rubs her head in my chest, knocking me flat on my back.

Ran, get off! I’m not your personal scratch post, you big dummy!

'Course you are, she purrs.

Don’t you adore the carrots the stable hands give you?

She hops down, a look of disgust on her face that doesn’t quite match her wolven appearance as she turns her back to me.

I get up, slowly, holding onto the canopy post to keep from falling.

“Jack, I’m good now.”

He comes out, his hands still over his eyes. “Ya sure, sis?”

“No! Wait. Go back. Don't look!” I say, my voice shrill.

He turns around and runs back into the bathroom, almost smacking his head on the door jamb.

Ran glares at me, pulling her lips back to show her pearly white fangs and saber teeth. Be nice.

I chuckle. “Jack, I’m kidding.”

He peeks his head out, his hair all ruffled and with his wide eyes… he looks so cute! I’ve missed my little brother so much. I should probably be nicer.

“Ria, I might’ve used the wrong loo. The things in there look so different, but there was a large trough-like thing—” I raise a brow, thinking surely he didn’t–and he grins. “Gotcha.”

Maybe I shouldn’t be nicer.

“Come ‘ere, Jack.”

He smiles, his eyes crinkling until they’re almost gone, and he gently wraps his arms around me. My head is just barely at his chin now, and it makes me sniffle to know he's grown while he was gone. “I missed you, bro.”

“I missed you too, sis. Now let's get ya outta here.”

I pull back and wipe my eyes, seeing his own sparkling with tears that he blinks back.

“Let’s,” I say.

~~~

He takes me out the door and down the hall, moonlight streaming through the broad windows overhead on this second floor.

No servants are here right now. Jenny and Hans sent them away for the weekend, saying they were celebrating their child, alone. Even sent their children away, despite their son knowing who I am.

I can never repay them for all they have done for us. Perhaps with my family back, I can move out and give them their lives back while we get back on our feet. I just need a job that’ll actually support me and my family.

When I struggle down the first few steps leading toward the back door, Jack picks me up.

“Way to sweep a lady off her feet, laddy,” I say, quoting a line from one of the many plays Jill used to adore. It’s kinda embarrassing that my little brother is tall enough to pick me up. I have a feeling it won’t be long before Jill outgrows me, too.

She wanted to be an actress or a seamstress for the costumes once upon a time. I hope someday she is up to chasing those dreams.

Jack snorts a laugh at my words.

He sets me down. Instead of leading me to the back door, he goes down a servant’s passage that leads to the dining room.

He sticks his head back around the corner when I don’t follow, a mischievous grin on his face making me wary.

“Coming? I need food before goin' anywhere else.”

I shake my head with a wry grin, not able to say no to those eyes despite the smile on his face that makes me want to run. He and Ran are more alike than I remember.

Ran bumps into me from behind, and I catch myself against the wall.

I glare at her, opening my mouth to berate her, but before I can, Jack opens the door to the dining room. I jump when I see all the folk standing, watching me with broad smiles.

Momma stands beside Jill, who sits in a chair with a wan smile on her face. Silver is on the other side of Jill, as if standing guard. Jenny has a serene smile on her face and Hans' face is filled with good-natured pride as he holds his wife’s hand.

My Gift, for once, pops up at the right time, sending such love and joy through me from all the people gathered that I feel I’ll pop with happiness.

But it does remind me… I need help with my Gift… and so does Jill. After releasing my past mistakes, my Gift is a tiny bit easier to control. It’s still stabbed my brain with pain, but overall, Rose has had less trouble keeping it contained.

And I know within the next day or two I will be without Rose’s buffer, so I will need to figure it out before the people in the arena bring me to my knees, if I decide to continue competing.

And Jill… according to what they found out from a source they’ve yet to disclose, her journey is going to be hard. Having competing Gifts… it’s hard enough with one Gift, but two? And she has never had a Rose to protect her from the consequences of the Gift.

I will never be able to thank you enough, sweet Rose. Please forgive me for all I put you through.

She laughs within, a sound filled with the free and sweeping rumble of the ocean and the bright and airy wind threading its fingers through the meadows. I’m not sorry, Aria. I’m thankful for this time we’ve had.

I smile at the many faces beaming at me as Ran discretely props me up on one side and Jack holds my arm on the other.

“You all—“ Tingles begin at the back of my eyes and I sniffle, my throat too tight for words.

Jack tugs me forward, and my legs just about give beneath me, but I force them to hold.

I limp over to the round table, everyone else sitting as I sit, except for Jenny, who brings a plate filled with fresh apple slices, a chocolate cream brûlée, and scones.

My mouth waters, and something splatters on the floor beside me. I look over to see drool dripping from Ran’s lips as she looks at my food. They gave my large wolf a cushion beside me at the table. She’s so big all she has to do is sit her hiney on the floor and she’s chest level with the table.

And she is slowly inching her way toward my food.

I brandish a fork in her direction, pulling my lips back in a snarl. “Don’t you dare,” I whisper.

She lolls her tongue out, and… her slobber splashes right into my plate.

I wanna cry.

Jenny coughs from behind me, and I turn with hopeful eyes. She brandishes a second plate, scooting my original to Ran, who digs in with the relish of an animal.

Then the blessed lady puts the second plate in front of me.

“Jenny, may The King bless you one hundred times over,” I say around a mouthful of scone.

She laughs, the beautiful, twinkling sound matching the sparkles in her blue eyes and the smile pulling at her face as she sets one hand on Hans’ shoulder and the other on her little baby bump.

“It is my pleasure, dear.”

I look over at Momma, who watches with tears in her eyes and a bittersweet smile on her lips. I cock my head, asking her why, and she winks at me, saying without saying that she’ll tell me later.

I nod, pushing another bite into my mouth.

Jenny grabs more food from the trays, and Silver and Momma get up at the same time.

They look at each other, Momma with a scrutinizing almost glare and Silver with a slight smile.

“After you, my lady,” he says with a slight bow.

She nods, and her hooded glance between him and me says more than words. I swallow the scone and almost choke when my mouth goes dry with nerves.

Why am I nervous? It’s just Momma and Silver. I mean, he’s a friend. Momma has met many of my friends.

Ran snorts into her food, and I block the projectiles with my forearm just before they would’ve contaminated my plate. When have you ever brought home a friend? She looks at me before I can respond. I don’t count.

Erm…

My point exactly, she says, triumphant.

No wonder I’m nervous.

Momma takes a plate from Jenny, who smiles at her. “Thank you.”

“Just a small return for all you and Sir Hans have done,” Momma says, smiling back.

Something passes between those smiles, a look of kinship and gratefulness, and then they turn and hand Silver both plates, smiles morphing into something a bit more sinister.

He looks at the plates, then the grinning women, and bows. “At your service, my ladies.”

Their grins get larger, and I gulp. But Silver weathers the stares, merely turning away from them and distributing the plates. But when his eyes meet mine, his own go wide and his cheeks are a little pale.

Methinks he’s not as unbothered as he’d like them to believe.

Mhmm. I don’t think I saw him this pale facing the Bamshee and other monsters.

She cocks her head, flicking her ears toward the man who’s going back to get another load of food for the people gathered around the table. There’s a slight hint of hesitancy in his step.

Agreed, she says.

“How’d ya almost die against the Bamshee, Ria?” Jack asks, loudly. He burps around the meat in his mouth.

“Manners!” Momma reminds from where she’s pouring drinks.

“Yes, Momma,” he replies, then sends me a wink, entirely unrepentant, the rascal.

“First thing you must know, Jack, is how she ended up almost trampled beneath it—“

I tune Hans out, looking around at the many people, laughing, smiling… happy.

Something within me is both happy beyond measure… and not. Shouldn’t I be the happiest person alive right now? I have done everything I set out to do. I rescued my family, saved Irisia from the foreign assassin, and somehow gained new friends and family through it all. But something within me is… dark, maybe? I thought getting to this point would be all I could ever want, but now that it’s all over, I’m left feeling bereft. As if something is missing. And it’s not because of the aches and pains in my body. It’s something deeper than that.

“You alright?” Silver asks softly as Hans tells the Bamshee tale. Silver sits another scone on my plate and a glass of water beside it.

I nod… then shake my head no. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I should be happy, ecstatic… but instead… I feel dark. Dirty. The joy is there, but…” I shake my head again, unable to describe what I’m feeling.

“But what you’ve been through has changed you. What used to bring you joy merely reminds you of the things you’ve lost along the way.”

I nod, blinking quickly at how he so quickly summed up what was in my heart.

Hans gets up from beside me, pacing and uses his hands as he emboldens the tale and has my family eating from the palm of his hands.

Silver smoothly slides into his place, and the only person who notices is Jill, who gives me a little smile. I smile back, then turn to Silver again.

“Yeah… maybe,” I try to gather the words, and he waits patiently until I can find them. “What does it say about me that I almost wish to go back to the frantic pace of before? When my mind didn’t have to think… only react?”

Jenny drops down beside me, where I thought Ran was. Ran finished and now she’s crunching on some venison Jenny set her on the floor. How is that animal still hungry?

“Perhaps, my dear, it means you’re human.” She smiles gently, squeezing my hand. “You’ve been through so much in a short period of time. Now it is over and you are left to pick up the pieces, expecting yourself to get back to life as though all this had never happened.”

“Aria, we don’t expect that of you. You’re going to need time to come to grips. We will, too,” Momma says, hugging me from behind.

Jill nods across from me, leaning forward with a shy smile as she opens her mouth to speak.

Jack nods, interrupting her. “Ain’t that the truth,” he says, spitting out droplets of meat with every word.

Jill glares at her oblivious brother, who goes back to eating as if nothing of import occurred.

I nod at Jill to encourage her to speak when she glances up, and she pushes blonde hair behind her ear. “Things h-happen, Ria. You saved us, but for a while we had to fend for ourselves.” She holds up a trembling hand when I open my mouth, and I see Momma in the way her eyes flash as she asks me to wait before speaking. I close my mouth. “But it was good. I was fierce, Ria,” she says, a grin turning her face for the first time since I got her back.

Jack nods emphatically. “That is the truth! Who knew Jill was a bad—“

“Jack, don’t you dare,” Momma and I say at the same time.

We share a grin, and her eyes soften. “Let go of your expectations. Your healing will come in weeks and months, not mere days as I know you wish. But we are safe, we are together, and we can let this time make us stronger.”

Everyone nods.

“There comes a time when you must merely be until you can grow. The seed must first be buried for a winter before it can grow. Let yourself be, give yourself grayce, and lean into us when it becomes too much to bear,” Silver says, his eyes soft and a gentle smile on his lips as he tucks a strand of dirty blonde hair behind my ear.

I blush and see Momma narrowing her eyes at us from the corner of my eye.

Silver quickly draws his hand away with a cough.

Hans slaps Silver on the shoulder, making him jump. He raises a brow at Hans, and I suspect there was a knife aimed at Hans… and by Hans’ fish-eating grin, he well knows it and did it anyway.

“Are we ready?” Hans says, the grin disappearing as quick as it came.

I draw my lips into a thin line and narrow my eyes. “What?”