《How to get lost: a wanderers guide》Hangover
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Ugh. Hi.
I woke today up hip deep inside the mouth of a massive slither.
I am covered in spit, venom, shit, and puke.
Good morning to me.
In addition, my head freaking kills, and I am covered in bug bites and stings.
And I am naked again.
*sigh*
What happened?
Looking at my journal entry from last night I guess I ate a fruit of some kind?
The "superslither" must be the poor beastie that tried to eat me. With notably poor results.
Following the blatantly obvious path I burned through the tall grass in my mindless frenzy I found my clothes and supplies again.
I also found a massive hive of stinging insects I seem to have stomped on.
That explained the bug bites and stings.
Why didn't a swarm of biting stinging bugs warrant even a single word in my journal?
Backtracking further I find a likey culprit of yesterdays loss.
A large yellow fruit. Shaped vaguely like a pair of clasped hand and covered in very fine hairs.
Why would I even try to eat this thing?
I name it the kafizzle fruit. Because when you eat it, all your plans go up in smoke.
I like it. The name, not the fruit. I'm never eating that again.
Ever.
I spent the rest of the day trying to find a river to clean all the crud off of me. I had no such luck and had to settle for burning it off.
I know I get just as clean, if not cleaner, when I bathe in flame. But nothing is as relaxing as a soak in clean water. And I could use some relaxation.
I may have overreacted with those birds the other day.
Oh yeah, what am I gonna call those anyway?
Well, they don't burn. So maybe Firebane birds? Or... Big shiny bird who doesn't burn? BSBWDB... Basbawodobe?
EIther or I suppose.
Its late, I'm tired, and I didn't get anything done today.
I think I hate getting kafizzled.
Goodnight.
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why does this have the views that it does. guys i wanna delete it bc it's embarrassing i wrote this but 11k reads ??
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