《How to get lost: a wanderers guide》Rain check
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Hello again. I am starting to hate these grassy plains.
First, an inflammable bird steals my stuff. No biggie, burn it.
Then, a fruit kicks my ass for two days. That was hard to swallow.
And now? Now I just feel like every single living organism on these plains is out to make my day a misery. Even the weather is in on it! Its been raining heavily since midnight.
I hate the rain.
My fire doesnt like getting wet, and this stupid poncho and skirt chafe like you would'nt believe. My hips and neck to shoulder region look like raw meat. Thats not mentioning the mud. Some stupid animal went and tore up a bunch of the sod, and I was to busy trying to get a stupid bug out of my eye to notice it.
Mud baths are not recommended,
Speaking of stupid bugs, there was this fat fist sized one. Pretty blue-purple-green shell and wings. And a fingerlength stinger. I was busy watching the pretty bug that I didn't react when it landed on my arm. Little bugger stung me!
My tingle are dampened in the rain. They just want to cluster in my chest and stay there. So trying to heal that sting didn't work out as planned. So my left arm is numb and swollen. Seriously, there is a lump the size of my fist growing and pulsing on my arm. I hate it.
Then let us not forget the slithers. That "superslither" kafizzled me wrote about? Yeah, that was a baby. One of many might I add. Me without my flames I have had to get creative with my killing. Did you know slithers don't like being beaten over the head repeatedly with a rock? Fun stuff.
The rain does do a good job of hiding my scent and form from them though. Once I got out of the slither nest area I figured it'd be easier.
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I was wrong.
Grunters. Stout, fat, sturdy beasts. With wicked sharp tusks, and very stabby horns on their upturned and flat snouts. They are mean, grumpy, ugly, stinky, and irrefutably nasty beasts. They make loud grunts, hence the name, and squealing sounds before they charge you. They hit like a falling tree. Did I mention they are as tall at the shoulders as I am?
I saw two of them fighting over something. They smashed into each other so hard that all the rain on or near them was sent flying in all directions. I was in one of those directions. When I was stumbling away trying to get some grunter water out of my eyes I stepped into something squishy and warm.
It was manure, dung, poo, shit. And there were heaps of it. Imagine slipping and finding yourself arm deep in a pile of crap. It is not a fun experience.
I found out how hard grunters hit personally shortly after that. A sneaky squealer snuck up behind me and next thing I know I am flying and my back hurts.
Again, no fire. No tingles. Not so much as a spark.
I HATE THE RAIN!!!
I landed in some nice soft spring plants, and the grunter snorted and grunted at me but eventually ran off. I found out why almost instantly. Those plants I had landed in were poisonous. Patchs of my arms, back, and most of my legs are now red, puffy, and itchy.
As if that wasn't enough. My screams of impotent rage woke a nest of those same blasted stinging insects from my kafizzled day. I guess they must be rather common around here. Something to look out for.
I fled through the poisonous itch grass, hounded by a swarm of stingers, right into another pile of crap.
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Silver lining, the stingers hate the rain nearly as much as I do, and quickly left me alone.
So, lets see here. Bugs, slithers, grunters, shit, mud, and itch grass. What am I missing? Oh yeah! The spike croak.
The spike croak is a smallish green-grey critter. Only about the size of my hand. It lies around, not moving much. Its slimy skin soaking in the rain. Ad if you step on one it lets out a rumbling croak, and a sharp barbed spike erupts from its previously lumpy back.
I stepped on one.
I managed to weave some taller grass into a makeshift shelter. It is here that I sit. Back aching, arm throbbing, soaking wet, covered in a unfortunate amount of mud and manure, with rashes on my limbs, a spike through my foot, and I am just plain sick of these plains.
Goodnight.
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