“Alright, I’ll bite, what’s my secret?” I grumbled, turning my attention to the Vice Dean, her lower half at least.

“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

Now that was an insult. There was only one appropriate response.

“Damn, how did you guess? Why, that was my most closely guarded secret, I mean… I mean it is my most precious gift.”

I gave her my most innocent, childlike expression.

“You do realize that no one likes a smart-ass?” she growled, kicking water my way, “That’s probably why you haven’t had sex once since entering the spire, or are you saving yourself for your one true love?”

“Agrippina, I wouldn’t want to take advantage of any weak, delicate female flowers, no! Sex is only for marriage, and only for… BAH!”

Her eyes flashed and a large tidal wave slammed into me from behind, tossing me deep into the center of the pool. My hands hit the bottom and I frantically floundered to stay in position. Once the water stopped churning so much, I broke to the surface, gasping for air.

I made my way to the side, holding on tightly as I coughed the water out of my lungs. She walked over to me, her legs sweeping purposely one in front of the other. She knelt down above me, legs wide.

I stared for a minute before raising my gaze to her face. Her eyes darkened. She stood up, jumping over me to dive into the pool. Her movements were graceful as she swam underwater to the other side. She surfaced, putting her back to the wall, elbows on the sides.

“NO ONE likes a smart-ass. While you might be impotent, there are other ways to savor a woman, so come on, out with it.”

I didn’t care to be toyed with. I held onto the edge tightly, bracing myself for another reprisal from her.

“I’m not so stupid as put my dick somewhere I might not get it back from. The other worlders might screw anything that’s even remotely human, but we know how that ends.”

“So you’re comparing me… To a lamia?”

“No, lamias are more…” I wanted to say stable, but instantly thought better of it.

Agrippina cocked her head at me, eyes dangerously gesturing for me to finish my thought.

“Troublesome,” I lied.

She snorted and I prepared myself for another wave. Agrippina let out a soft sigh.

“Tell me the truth, Tome.”

I stared back at her debating. Should I give her lies that were believable, lies mixed with the truth, truthful lies, or kinda sorta truths?

“The…Truth,” she intoned, raising a slightly pulsing hand to force me to say something.

I was still angry at Mintha and Kevin, and now dangerously irate with Agrippina. I just wanted everyone to leave me the hell alone.

“You’re a sadistic bi… You’re sadistic, and dangerous, and I am not going to be your toy.”

She stared hard at me for some time, soaking in my words. I kept bracing for the expected second tidal wave or perhaps a freezing spell. Instead, the tension eased as she laid back, thoughtfully staring at the ceiling.

“Sadistic bitch… It’s been quite some time since anyone last called me that, to my face mind you.”

“I never said bit…”

A thin smile crept over her face.

“Are you truly any better than me?” she lifted her head and gave me a neutral glance, “Do you honestly give a damn about the feelings or wellbeing of others?”

“Of course,” though I was having some difficulty coming up with even one name…

“Give me a name.”

Sadistic, telepathic, bitch.

“My house,” I didn’t even pause.

A sad smirk spread across her face, “Family… Do you really care about them when they’ve forgotten you?”

I opened my mouth refute her, only to be silenced by her answer.

“They haven’t sent a single letter to you, nor inquired about you, just how much do you truly care about those who don’t give a damn about you?”

“They, they’ve been busy, they’ll… No, how the hell… You don’t know that!”

“Tome, you know I sent two letters out on your behalf. While you might believe you warrant a response, I demand one. The second time, I had a courier deliver the missive and take a response. Your father told him, face to face, “there wasn't one.”

My eyes began to haze, no, that, that was a lie. She was a liar, she had lied before, so this too…

“Let’s put aside the games, the power plays, the suspicion,” she stared at me thoughtfully, “Truth for truth, Tome, if you can handle it.”

I clenched my teeth, “How can I trust you? Do you really have my best interests at heart, instructor, mentor, Agrippina Caldi?”

“We made a deal, and I intend to collect, but you…Are…Being…A little bitch. I have been helping you, doing my best to see you grow. You resent me, that’s fine, you’re not the first. But I want you to tell me, put it into words, why exactly do you resent me so? Is it because of my power, your station, mine? What is it precisely?”

I looked at her doubtfully. I thought of coming up with a lie, minus my earlier sarcasm. No, she wanted the truth, so I’d give it to her.

“I just want you, and everyone else, to leave me the hell alone.”

“Pfft, leave you alone? And if I, and even the powers that be, graciously acceded to your request, what would you do then? Live happily ever after?”

“I’d make a living, set up a shop or business, and go about my life. I’d leave everyone be, be my own man, and keep to myself.”

She sighed, “Tome, you’d no more be your own man than I’m my own woman. Do you honestly think there’ll ever be a day others will leave you alone?”

“When I have enough power, people will know better than to mess with me.”

“No, that’s when everyone will do their damnedest to trouble you. Tell me, do you think I get to do what I like?”

I guffawed, to which she sadly smirked.

“The more powerful you are, the more you’re kept in your place, whether by others, or just damned circumstances. Do you truly think that I want to be in this little crap backwater Spire, me, a Caldi? I should be vice dean of the Noble’s Spire, not this pile of shit.

But the Republic, and my loving family, made an arrangement, so here I am, and here I stay. I had opportunities, but now all I have is this damned castle.”

“Then leave, you can always renounce your familial ties, and the state could still use you in one of the cities, you don’t throw away a powerful mage.”

“No, you clip their wings.”

I looked at her askance, “You’re telling me, that YOU are being kept here against your will?”

“The more arcane you use, the more you are drawn to use it,” she stretched forth one hand, water instantly materialized and dragged the privacy screens towards us, enclosing our area completely.

“I can leave whenever I wish, but I am forbidden from the Noble’s Spire. The cities replenish one’s SP, but nothing like when you’re near a Spire. I would still be powerful, but I would have to reign in my power. If I wish to retain my full powers, I can’t go anywhere, but here. No matter what we do Tome, what decisions we make, everything in its place, not merely the pawns.”

“We all have choices, and places, yes, but we never have to stay in them.”

“Those in power and even events themselves constantly conspire. When you are able to choose your own place, there’ll always only ever be one actual option.”

“Then screw them, use your powers, your influence, concoct a plan, you could…”

“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!” she merrily laughed, tears eventually streaming down her face.

“You’re so naïve and optimistic.”

Optimistic?

She used a wet hand to wipe away her tears, “You may know a bit Tome, but you’re too young to fully understand.”

I glared, causing her to break into another fit of laughter. I held my tongue, allowing Agrippina to again compose herself.

“People and circumstances may tie us down, but we don’t have to stay down, nor restrained.”

“Really? Okay, what if you fall into a pit, of their or your own making, your legs broken, the sides too steep? The only salvation to accept the yoke? Yes, you don’t have to be restrained, but with that choice you also would not have to worry about breathing.”

“I would get out of that pit.”

“That’s not an option.”

“That’s not the option they gave you, a powerful mage with years of experience. Even without use of your legs, you’re telling me that you’d be either too weak, too stupid, or too scared to get out?”

Indignation filled her eyes, “Alright, my little pupil, let’s play out this thought game with your parameters. I get out of the hole, no yoke, two broken legs, a battered body, in the middle of the Godsdamn forest, what then? I can’t go anywhere, and I’ll be dead in minutes from monsters. While you might die to spite your foes, I would prefer to go on living, yoked or not.”

I began moving towards her, the water softly lapping against me.

“You crawl, one hand at a time. You keep your guard up, and follow the tracks your keeper made. You get to his camp, kill him, and use whatever he has to make your way to civilization.”

She clapped, water flying from her impacts, “Wow, how heroic, how brave, how defiant! But we both know that there are a thousand things you didn’t factor in, most of them resulting in instant death, much less the one where you’re crawling through leagues and leagues of forest. So let’s say you’re different, you’re special, you actually make it to a town. You’re now wanted by the entirety of the Republic, you’ve gone from two impossible scenarios to a third, WHAT THEN?”

I smiled, siding up to her, “I don’t know, but not only did I make it out of the pit, I killed my captor and dragged myself to civilization, if I could survive two impossible scenarios, why not a third?”

She looked at me like I was insane, “Life is not a fairytale, nor an exercise in will. You gave a dashing account, but that’s all it is, words, empty words.”

I reclined next to her, “But I didn’t give up, I don’t want to die either, or suffer, but you have to keep going. Giving up is the worst possible option.”

We sat in silence for a few moments, both of us in thought.

She turned to me, narrowing her eyes, “Humph, so you say you wouldn’t give up? Then what have you been doing here?”

“Gaining power, and strength, one inch at a time. One day I’ll have the power to pay back my enemies, and ensure that the remainder keep their distance.”

“Really? So that’s why you haven’t killed any other worlders or actually stood your ground? What happened to that defiant man crawling out of that pit you just recounted to me?”

“Unlike you, I am weak, I don’t have the means or the power to…”

“NO, you don’t have the balls. When someone punches you, you punch back, when someone steals from you, you run them through. Yes, you have to crawl sometimes, but eventually you have to stand. You’re the one being cowardly and afraid now.”

“I can’t afford enemies, nor shame to the family, I…”

“You are creating more enemies by letting others walk all over you! And your precious, silent family… I know you think they’ll come through for you Tome, but keep in mind, they’re only an anchor. They’ll drag you down to the depths if you let them.”

“No, anchors keep ships from drifting away. Better a ship with an anchor than without”

“Yes,” she smirked, “But when your ship becomes more trouble than it’s worth, that anchor that once kept you safe, will not hesitate to cut you off. Tell me, how would you deal with a son more detrimental to the family than useful?”

I opened my mouth to argue, but froze. I shut my eyes and thought. I already knew well what I would do, sons and daughters were resources, easily replaced ones at that.

I played through all the scenarios, only one slightly in my favor. I was no asset to the family now, but I had been when I most needed. You don’t return such utility with betrayal, at least not when it could be helped…

My mind stopped debating, choosing to embrace the scenario I most wished for. The alternatives I kept nearing, were not circumstances I wished to explore.

---------------------------------------------

Twenty years as centurion, do the grunts listen to my advice? Of course not, what would an old veteran like me know? Certainly not the best brothels, the most dangerous alleys, how to keep yourself and belongings safe. No, no, age is only a liability, not an asset, especially come knowledge. I always tell those green fools not to send their money home, or at least not all of it.

Gods above, “But Centurion, me sister’s got the pox, me father lost an arm last week, and me mother has another wee one on the way!”

Fools. Shit happens, yes, but when someone tells you the heavens are raining shit, then you do two things. First, you check your coin purse, full? Okay, that’s half the equation. Are they, family, friends, neighbors, or lovers? Okay, now you’ve got two halves. Put those together and what do you have? A whole, yes indeedy, a whole scheming asshole looking to separate you from your money. There’s only one thing a new recruit needs to understand about money; always expect those nearest you to be eyeing yours.

-Gaius Antony, Third Regiment, Centurion of Arodite’s Worst.