After dinner, I was back in my room, flipping through a newspaper I’d already read. It was filled with the same kind of doom and gloom I had grown to expect, angel attacks, food and fuel shortages, attempts on repairing power grids and communication networks. When I read about angels attacking small towns, I had to wonder if they missed their original target. Then there were the big messes. New Orleans was still waiting for more aid, but there wasn’t any to go around. There were follow-up articles talking about the military operation that foiled an angel attack, the feel-good opinion pieces that had been running on and off in the days since our battle. It was fun reading about the operation, knowing it was sanitized for general consumption and leaving out things like superpowered soldiers and how many soldiers we lost. It made me frustrated and sad.

Then I felt a Changed approach. Someone tapped on my window, startling me out of bed. I went over and lifted the blinds, a bit ready to jump or run away. I don’t know why I thought that would be necessary.

Alec was outside my window, pressed up against the bush. When he saw me, he smiled and raised a bottle of rum where I could see it.

Opening the window, I whispered, “What are you doing out here, Alec? It’s not smart to sneak around on a military base.”

Grinning he said, “Don’t worry, I’m a ninja.” Alec was dressed like a ninja, wearing a tight black shirt and pants. I could see the wiry muscles of his chest and shoulders through the material. “I thought I’d come and see how you were doing. Specifically, I thought I’d see if you’d like to unwind a bit.” He sloshed the bottle around. “Don’t worry, this is gasoline grade rum, it should work even for the likes of us.”

“Well, when you put it like that, how can I refuse?” At that point in the evening, I should not have any more doctor or nurse visits, so I closed all the shutters to the exterior windows and then slipped out of the window. He helped lower me to the ground, his hands around my waist.

“You’ve been working out,” I said as he lowered me down.

“Well, I may not be super strong like you guys, but even us Seers are stronger than normies.”

I poked his chest, finding his muscles surprisingly resistant. “I’m talking about this, dummy.”

“Oh...well, yeah,” he said, smirking. “I guess I’ve been working hard. Knowing we might get attacked by an angel has been pretty motivating to get in shape. They say it might be more to do with being Changed that it’s happening so quickly, but I’d like to think it’s all me.”

I chuckled. “I’m sure you do. Who’d have thought life of swaying to goth songs in dingy clubs wouldn’t get you in shape.”

“You’re one to talk,” he fired back. “What’s your excuse?”

“Are you kidding, I was a ward of the state. I lived under stairs and ate scraps left behind by the ‘real kids’ of the family. I had to be tough and scrappy.”

He started laughing. “Man, I’ve missed you, Peri.”

“Really, why? Is your taste in friends really that bad?”

“Are you kidding? The rest of the people here? God, they are so boring, so mundane. You’ve actually got some fire in you. I know we didn’t get to hang out that much in basic, but I’ve not had anyone else to talk shit with ever since.”

I grinned and looked away, hiding my discomfort. “Yeah, well, I’ve missed you too.”

We walked across the grounds until we could slip into the woods. I was surprised at how easy it was. The big fence ran further along inside the woods, but we had some privacy where we were. There was a nice little clear space amongst some trees where we sat.

“I haven’t seen you in ages,” I said.

“Yeah, it feels like it. All the Seer stuff is super-demanding. I mean, you wouldn’t think meditation and fucking mindfulness would take up so much time. But you’d be wrong,” he said.

I snorted. “I can see you all sitting there ‘ohming’ all the time.”

He chuckled. “You’d be surprised how right that is.”

He took a drink from the bottle and scrunched up his face. “Damn,” he whispered, coughing a few times, “that’s… smooth.”

Handing me the bottle, I took a swig and tried not to choke. If this was smooth, I’d hate to taste stuff that wasn’t. It burned like a razor going down my throat and then kicked me in the stomach for trying.

After a few passes of the bottle and a nice feeling of warmth spreading through my limbs, Alec said, “Rebecca told me some of the stuff that happened. She’s really not good with keeping secrets, that girl.” He shook his head with a wry smile. Then, becoming serious again, he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

I took another pull on the bottle and coughed. “What’s to tell? I killed two guys and beat up four others. One of those got killed by his mate’s stupidity. Go team.” Ah, sarcasm, my forever shield.

Alec just watched me after taking his own pull from the bottle. “How do you feel about it?” he asked.

“What do you mean? I feel fine. The good guys won the day.” Even I did not sound convinced.

“You don’t look happy though,” he said. Before I could respond, he said, “It’s Ok, Peri, it’s just you and me here. You don’t have to bullshit me.”

I glanced at him, taking another swig. My fingers felt numb. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “You killed some people. That can’t have been easy for you. You don’t have to pretend it doesn’t bother you.”

“What if it doesn’t? What if I’m totally okay with it?” I asked.

“Well,” he looked up, as though searching for words, “I guess that’s cool too. I’d say I’m glad that you are coping so well. I don’t know that I would deal with it that well.”

“Yeah, well, not everybody is all hardcore like me I guess,” I grumbled, offering him the bottle. What was I feeling about it? Uncomfortable. Upset. I did not want to think about it, I did not want to feel anything about it. I did what I had to do and that was the end of it.

Why couldn’t I let it go?

We did not say anything for several minutes, just basked in the moonlight while the alcohol worked its alchemy on our bloodstream. I started feeling bluer and I didn’t want to head down that road, what with all the booze in me. So I turned to Alec and said, “So, any action going on in the Seer division? Any good gossip?”

Alec looked thoughtful for a moment. “Well, everybody has bets that August and Jessica are having, ah, private instruction if you know what I mean.”

“What?” I asked, surprised.

He raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Oh, hadn’t you heard? It’s been sort of a poorly kept secret around the group that they were working long, private hours together doing a little more than project premonitions.”

“Oh,” I said, leaning back. I felt… disappointed? Why did I feel that? “Well, that’s good for him… them I guess.” Jessica was really hot, even I could see that. If you liked your partners vanilla I guess.

Whoa, I wasn’t that catty normally.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Alec said. He offered me the bottle again. “Let’s see, who else. Rebecca had a couple of dates with some new guy, but I don’t think that’s going to work out.”

“Why not?” I drank some more. When did Alec scoot so close to me?

“Well, the guy’s kind of boring actually. He’s nice enough, but she seems more of a social creature than he is. I don’t think he’s going to make the cut.”

I realized I’d been away from things for so long I had no idea what was going on in Rebecca’s private life. That kind of made me sad, having disconnected from her so much. We basically live in different worlds now.

“Damn it,” I said.

“What?”

“This is all just making me more depressed. Talk about something else. I want to talk about good things, things that will make me happy.”

“Ok,” he said. “How about this?”

And he leaned in and kissed me.