Lord Joyde The Madman: Hey, everyone! How have you all been?

Sorry for the missed "scheduled update". Bad work weeks are bad, but I managed to pull through!

Yay for me.

The following morning... - Road To Authoria - Lucius' Point Of View...

The night went by without any further incidents, as I found myself cruising around in my newly pilfered auto-car, being driven across the road to Authoria. The city has been on fire lately, with news of rebel activity all around, a staggering increase in arrests related to drugs in one way or another and gangs of thugs and mafia alike, turning on each other for no apparent reason.

My own escapades with the raker pack did not go unnoticed, unsurprisingly not because one man managed to slaughter an entire pack of wild animals and heroically save a young woman no, but because that same person seemed to bleed heavily from the eyes and ears prior to the attack. "Haa..." I heard and felt myself sigh as the memory returned to me in full.

Can you imagine waking up to a call from your personal doctor, saying that you need to come get your health checked out because an entire horde of people stormed the hospital and demanded to see your health record. Alas, the one good ol' Sammy could provide, was the one from a couple days ago when I woke up in the hospital. Apparently, this isn't "recent enough", for the horde of absolute ingrates, so now I have to get driven around in my stolen van-type auto-car, wearing civilian clothing which is the only thing concealing a black, government omnicard, to the hospital, to get a check up, so someone else can feel "safe".

...

Another sigh escaped me, with even greater intensity, for the sole reason that I could understand. Hell, I likely even fueled the apparent threat when I said that it might be an aerosol. In hindsight, I should have kept my mouth shut. Taking a look around, I felt myself smile somewhat, at least my surroundings were pleasant.

Well, if you can call entire plantations of mushroom, pleasant. Palmorhea gigantea agrilux, to be specific; a purplish, spotted, glowing mushroom the size of an Earth palm tree. Why would people be farming these like apples, you might be asking? Well, to make a long story slightly less long, their flesh is edible, more than once!

... provided you cook it with high enough heat to neutralize the poison inside of the gills. These particular mushrooms hold a special place in my heart and its not just because they're delicious, cheap, easy to grow, easy to cook; okay, you get the point. Thing is, back when I came to this planet, these fields were one of the first things I saw. Naturally, my childish, twelve-year old self couldn't help but ask the kindly grandfather stranger-person about the pretty shrooms.

"Man, the face I made back then... *chuckles*." Imagine being told that the mushroom in front of your eyes grows a hard, coconut-shaped fruit that explodes when enough passive heat is gathered or when someone plays around with it for too long, covering the area in acid capable of dissolving iron-based material with ease.

Yeah, made me nearly break my own foot with the force I used to stop myself from kicking what looked like a white ball of shroom. I wonder how Old Feldman is doing these days? Haven't seen him in a while. Anyways, back to the shrooms, while the explosive acid isn't valuable as anything other than perhaps a weapon or for mining, if its "young" form is extracted from the stalk and drank, it works pretty much like any other delusion-inducing chemical you can expect.

Difference being that the acid in the fruits has been exposed to the sun and has gone bad or spoiled, whichever way you want to call it.

Me? I'll just keep myself to the semi-edible gills, thank you.

"Hmmm..." Humming to myself as I continued enjoying the scenery, a small dirt path catches my eyes in between two of the plantations ahead of me. If I remember correctly, a guy that buys used auto-cars lives there, so perhaps he is someone I can use to my advantage. Which is to say, I want to "buy", my pilfered auto-car from him so that when the police runs me down, I at least won't be suspected for car theft.

The console offered one of those slightly-too-loud clicking sounds as I changed the self-drive's direction with a smirk. Well, the good doctor can deal with the crowd of understandably-paranoid people for a while longer, can't he? Either way, I arrive at my destination without much ado, considering it was only a couple hundred meters away from where I set the destination.

"Oooh, that's a fine lassie, she is!" A fat man wearing red overalls basically charged the car as I got out of it, he stood at about one eighty and was completely bald, despite being in his forties at the max. I felt an instant sense of annoyance from this guy, like I wanted to be as far away and deal with him as little as possible."Whot? New custamer? Well yer's a bit too skinny fer ma taste, but creds are creds!" An incredibly incessant, annoying laughter echoed from his mouth.

Now I know why I don't know this man."Yay."

My low-energy and highly disinterested tone caught his attention as he grimaced."Ay fukkers, yet one of 'em city types. Coulda sworn I's seen ya drivin from the country si-" He went quiet.

Oh, thank the lord, golden silence.

What made him shut up, you might be asking? Well..."You know what this is, yes?"

Not only was he quiet, the man was now kneeling on all fours."Lyeon Robinson, at yet service, ser! Please, just... don't hurt mah family.." Interesting response, but also very much expected, considering someone just showed a government omnicard in his face."Lyeon.." I tested his name on my lips for a moment, purely for drama, of course.

Then I remembered that I have a doctors appointment and that I do not actually hate the man behind the white mask."I'll be clear; this van belonged to a rebel, who is now dead. I require it. You will first buy it from an "anonymous" seller, then sell it back to me. Do you understand?"

He feverishly nodded his head before looking up, somewhat confused."Aye but, hows am I to find this "annonimous" sellah?"

"I am already here. All you need to do, is prepare your method of transaction." Hearing him swallow was intensely amusing, as the man ran back into his house without so much as a word."That went well~."

In the meantime, I pressed a small button on the back of my omnicard and revealed a holo-screen with multiple functions present, all of which I imagine are very useful to all of the governments agents. The one I'm currently looking for however, is the "anonymous transaction" option, which basically makes it so nobody other than the government itself, can see when and where you purchased something. Thankfully, the options are set in alphabetical order, which means this one was easy to find.

Lyeon rushed out of his standard template home with an old card reader in hand, one which thankfully had the option of being powered by sunlight. He wiped the dust from it and quickly scribbled a receipt, taking whatever information he may have needed from the car itself, as I watched him do his work and planned to never again sit on the same part of the passenger seat.

Wordlessly, he approached me and extended the hand with the card reader. I thought to myself for a moment, then shrugged and promptly sold it to him for exactly one credit, causing the man to blink but say nothing as he finished the transaction, only to repeat the process as I returned my omnicard setting to normal behind the van.

"So Lyeon, how much would you sell this van to me for?" The man shivered and thought for a bit, actually giving the thing a look-over."F-front's got bullet shapes etched into the plating... Tire's are good, lights work, paint's seen better days..."

He swallowed."It'll go for twenty thousand, ser!" Oh wow, what an opportunist.

I found myself blinking and laughed before paying the man."Pleasure doing business with you, Robinson."

"L-l-likewise!... uhh..." And with that, I was gone.

Really didn't feel like spending another second next to him, though I can't really say why. Its not because he's overweight, right? I mean, I was heavier than him just a few days ago... well, probably.

"Bwhahahahahahha!" Ah, good morning, Lu. I was wondering if the government managed to kill you overnight due to how silent you've been so far."They have not, but I admit, they're putting up a good fight!"

So to what do I owe the pleasure of your voice this time?"You make it sound like you don't like having a voice in your head, ha!" I would probably like it a lot more if that same voice didn't sound like a drowning version of me."Kekek, you're gonna have to deal with it. Anyways, I found the "other thing", that's been plaguing your life."

This gave me pause as I reset the pathing on the van's self-drive, trying hard to remember what he meant. The past few days were quite active, after all..."What do you mean, "past few days"? It was a mere thirty six hours ago when that thing attacked you through your own bathroom mirror!"

Oh, you mean that black, vampire-like shadow?"... what is a vampire? Never mind, I'll just dig the information out of your skull later; this is important so listen well."

I shrugged and watched as the outline of the great city finally came into view. Towering, plasteel buildings and permacrete flooring as far as the eye can see, a true jungle of concrete, filled with monsters and men alike. I felt myself chuckling."I'm listening, Lu."

"First, I need to have some things confirmed. You humans have not yet found a way to achieve eternity, yes?" If by that you mean we haven't found ways to make ourselves immortal, then yes, you are correct."Then I have found an anomaly of some kind. A strange, female type human..-oid.. pure white skin, deader than yours and unnatural, pale blue hair. Somehow animate even as her body is clinically dead. Her soul is composed of very specific essences, not unlike what I'd expect from one of my own kind. The carbon in her rotted, but somehow preserved flesh dates back to around seven of your human centuries, more than six times the approximate life-span you claimed your kind to possess."

So, an old lady vampire is playing around with my life?"Vampire... that word again, yet the information in your brain seems to be conflicted between fact and myth. Hmm, I'll have to dig deeper... no, elsewhere." And with that, Lu's presence vanishes from my mind as quickly as it came.

... why is this happening to me?

Why now?

What's different from say, a couple months ago?

...

I felt myself sigh.

Shit does tend to hit the fan only after it accumulates and not a moment sooner. Subconsciously, I turned on my phone and began browsing the internet for any woman with the features described by Lu but found absolutely zero of them, which was strange in itself. Either this woman isn't real or she is going very far to make herself that way.

An illusory creature, amidst a crowd of sheep. Hmm, perhaps my friends at the Abrahamic Church could help? No, if I went to them without proof, they'd just chalk it up to the delusions of a recently wounded man. Hey, what about that fang I punched out of that one vampire girls mouth? Maybe if I try getting it analyzed at some scientific institution, I'd grab the attention of some hidden groups who may or may not provide me with answers?

Would they even take the bait? These people are in the shadows for a reason, after all.

But, I threw that fang into the trash, didn't I? Who knows, maybe I can get Rosemary to dig it out? Maybe, its not too late. And even if it is, well...

...

My vision goes red once more as a familiar hunger tears through my very being and I find myself licking my lips at the very thought of hunting vampires. A grin etches itself across my face, stretching from ear to ear."This is gonna be fun!"

Juuuuuust have to make a quick stop at the doctors beforehand, yes. I'm a good boy, after all~.

That's it for now!

Hope you liked it!

I don't have much time right now, so I'll edit out the grammatical mistakes later, sorry and thank you for your understanding, as well as patience!

Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!