As we were walking back to the tribe I did my best to calm the surging anxiety in my heart. I knew what was coming and what I had to do, but just knowing the right way didn’t mean I was looking forward to it.

I grumbled inwardly. Whoever thought up the phrase “If you desire the ends, you must also desire the means” must have had only a passing acquaintance with the collective known as the human race. Wanting results without work is like the staple of every normal person! Hating the means to the extent of abandoning the ends seems much more appropriate.

Only, hate it or not, I knew I had to go through with it.

I once again ran by the fruits of my nightlong brainstorming session in my head.

To escape from here I need to level up. To level up I need experience. Given the characteristics of the system and the existence of dungeons, it stands to reason that I need to kill monsters to gain experience.

The sole monster I’ve come across so far has apparently come from the outside. It’s unlikely that I’ll be able to find many more in short time.

Wrong.

I live in a tribe of monsters. There are juicy bundles of experience walking all around me.

I sighed.

The thing was, I couldn’t quite stomach the notion of killing other goblins. I couldn’t tell if it was that I developed some sense of belonging after being brought up here, that the variants didn’t strike me as sufficiently different from human beings, or if I was being subtly influenced by my Dungeon Species trait. Whatever the reason, the end result was that while fighting even to the point of crippling my opponent was a-ok, as soon as my thoughts entered the territory of deliberately killing someone, I’d feel a deep revulsion.

I could fight it down, but even if I did that, how exactly would I go about actually killing anyone? Roping in the rest of my entourage seemed unlikely. I’d have to slip out during the night, sneak into the chambers of some other goblin group and hope to assassinate everyone before anyone raised an alarm. Difficult. And I’d still run the danger of being marked by the system as an outsider. Unlikely, but given how goblins had the ability to differentiate between an aberrant horror that belonged in the dungeon from one that didn’t, the idea wasn’t completely far-fetched.

So.

I had to raise my stats and possibly my level without gaining any experience.

I rolled the stone in my mouth absentmindedly.

That was something I could do. Unfortunately smearing myself with ivy was only the first and comparatively least painful step.

As nice as it was to raise my resistance by a point or two, it didn’t really make much difference in the grand scheme of things. What I really needed was a quick and sharp increase in my fighting capabilities.

That Derak goblin had already hinted that fighting would eventually increase my skills and stats. Even to the point of learning new moves without any instruction. Only who knows how long I’d have to wait for it to take effect. If I got beaten again and again, wouldn’t that also work and be significantly quicker? At the very least my Constitution stat should skyrocket.

So the brilliant plan I came up during the night was… get beaten up by Khar. Hard.

That wouldn’t be a problem. He didn’t exactly use a light touch when you were submitting to him and my plan was to push him even further.

Only…

I didn’t want to get beaten up. It hurt. A lot. It was one thing to suffer some injuries in a battle with an evenly matched opponent and another thing completely to get laid on the ground, passively enduring blows, hoping for it to finally end. And another thing. The bastard usually relented when he noticed that there was no defiance left in you, but what if I didn’t yield? Would he just never stop?

Then again, if I let myself cower before him again, I didn’t know when or even if I could manage to muster enough courage to go through with it again.

Unresolved as I was, I still ended up following the rest of my group to the training grounds where we all gathered for the daily spar.

Alpha’s miraculous rate of recovery raised a few brows and I suddenly lamented not instructing him to conceal the stone’s existence from other goblins. Luckily, he turned out to be more cunning than I expected or at least more boastful. When Derak marvelled at his constitution he kept his mouth shut, perfectly satisfied with maintaining the misunderstanding that it was Mother’s grace that healed him.

We started with one on one battles. Trax and Rudi gave quite a spectacle. Clearly inspired by Bob’s antics, they were ecstatic at the chance to confront an enemy they could use to clean the poison off their bodies with. Personally, I wasn’t even sure if there was any point to this, my skin still ached, but after several hours, the pain subsided significantly and was nowhere near the level from before. Still, they fought fiercely in their respective battles, immediately lunging themselves on their opponents. I would’ve been even more impressed if only they had invested more energy into striking their foes rather than rubbing themselves against their bodies.

Finally, came the time to confront Khar.

The red half-orc must have noticed something different about me, cause he looked at me with quiet amusement. I didn’t care. I matched his gaze. My Strength had been raised to seven. There were two extra points in my hand to hand combat skill. Hell, there was still some of the ivy juice on my skin. Come what may, I was determined to at least land a single good hit on the bastard.

The fight began.

It was still a 5v1 battle, so like before, Khar planned to begin by disposing of the weaker goblins and steadily make his way up.

Confident that there was little they could do to him, he charged at Trax and Rubi, ready to knock them out with a simple punch.

Despite the fact that we didn’t spend any time going through our previous battles or forming any cohesive strategy, the few fights we’ve been in before had started to shape our coordination as a team.

Without exchanging any words, Alpha launched himself at Khar, trying to bind his movements, whereas Bob and I started circling around him, slashing his skin with our claws.

Well, that was what we attempted to do, anyways.

Though valiant, Alpha simply didn’t have the strength required to restrain the half orc that was almost a third taller than him and probably weighed twice his body mass. Khar momentarily ignored Trax and Rudi and punched the red goblin coming at him in the stomach, stopping Alpha in his tracks.

He followed it up with a quick kick, simultaneously dodging a swipe coming from Bob’s side.

I took the opportunity to attack him from another angle, only to be dismayed when I saw that even with my increased stats, I could barely pierce through his skin, leaving just a trickle of blood behind.

It didn’t even elicit any reaction, despite the fact that it was probably the first time someone had managed to hurt that monster in combat.

He continued to deliver blows onto Alpha’s body, leisurely evading most of Bob’s and mine attacks.

With my increased combat skills I finally came close to anticipating his movements, enjoying more success than Bob at least, but I was woefully understatted if I desired to dish out any lasting damage. It would have been a different story if I had a sword or a knife at least, just something a bit harder and sharper than my nails to finally cut through his body.

When Khar finished incapacitating Alpha, the rest of the fight followed the familiar pattern of our previous spar.

Trax and Rudi were laid on the ground in short order and it didn’t take him long to deal with Bob either. Having her beaten in agility, his hand abruptly launched in her direction and before she could dodge, tightly gripped one of her arms. He forcefully pulled her towards himself, knocking her off her feet, and then started throwing her around the ring like a doll.

This left me.

When the beating began, I fought against the compulsion to go into limp passivity and instead kept my eyes open, drilling my eyes into his hateful face. Khar seemed unperturbed and carried on with his job, working me like a dusty carpet.

Most of his kicks centered around my torso, his feet landing on my kidneys with pinpoint accuracy. The pain was horrendous and even worse was the knowledge that it could be avoided, should I simply relent and yield.

Somehow, I persevered. Blow after blow shook my body. When it came to the point that I wondered if I was ever to urinate without pissing blood in the future, the beating suddenly stopped.

I involuntarily tensed up, my body anticipating the next blow. But it never came.

Dirt mixed with sweat caked my face. My ribcage barely rose as my internal organs were hanging by a thread already and anything but the shallowest of breaths would move too much stuff around my stomach.

Someone helped me get up. I slowly rose, my head kept low as I didn’t dare straighten my back, lest the motion made my kidneys fall out. Still, despite my wretched state, I felt a burning that didn’t result from my injuries.

I won.

It hurt like hell. I was afraid to even check my condition on the status screen.

But I won.

No matter how much it hurt, I kept to my plan and never cowered. At no point did I let go or accept what was happening to me. The bastard wailed on me with abandon, but he didn’t break my spirit.

I finally mustered enough strength to raise my head and look at Khar. He gazed back at me with an impassive face.

***

Bob and Alpha had to help me walk to Khar’s room where we prepared food. I should have been in no state to consume anything, but the gruel’s bewitching aroma did its magic yet again and as it started suffusing the room I felt my stomach rumbling with anticipation.

I patiently observed Khar as he exercised his right of first meal to the fullest, emptying half of the communal pot on his own.

When he was finally finished, his eyes met my steady gaze.

Knowing that our party had brought the most food, I rose to my feet with difficulty. Only to see Khar passing the bowl to the red goblin leading the opposing group.