After staring lamely at the dead body outside his reach for a few minutes, Puck willed himself back to the corpse of the remaining goblin and absorbed it, the poignard, and the bone mace. What now seemed like a relatively minor amount of power added itself to his stomach. At this rate, it was going to take forever to achieve a full state and the dungeon was certain he was going to need every last drop.

A scroll appeared with two messages, reaffirming his earlier guess that individual scrolls for every message were intentional.

You have gained a Goblin Short Sword [poignard] (1 lb. Value: 40 silver) as Treasure. This poignard is a standard quality thrusting dagger that hangs on the belts of adventurers, thieves, and guardsmen. It seemed quite large in the hands of a goblin. You can now include this in drops from your Monsters.

You have gained a Bone Mace (7 lb. Value: 15 silver) as Treasure. This flanged mace was carved from the femur of a large animal. While solid, it would easily shatter against stone or metal. You can now include this in drops from your Monsters.

Puck dismissed the scrolls and wandered back down into his main room. He was still irritated that some of his prey had escaped and his thoughts were teeming with ways to prevent it from happening in the future. He was certain that becoming stronger and more powerful was the only way. In the present, the best way he could do that was to review the last two leveling scrolls he had been ignoring. He teleported himself to the top of the altar and sat there swinging his legs. With an impatient sigh he recalled the scrolls to the forefront of his consciousness. The first unfurled. It read:

Please choose one Level 4 ability, two Level 3 abilities, three Level 2 abilities, four level 1 abilities or improve a Level I ability, (i.e. Influence I to Influence II).

Apparently upgrading a level 2 ability to level 3 wasn’t available at Level 4. Puck reviewed the Level 3 abilities he’d ignored earlier.

Level 3:

Biosphere I - Turn your dungeon into living ecosystem. Summoned living creatures can now breed and pass on a percentage of experience gained to their offspring.

Mystical Creatures I - Grant summons the ability to manipulate mana. Intelligent summons can learn spells.

Sentience I - Grant a non-sentient boss level summon sentience. This is limited to one creature per level of Sentience.

Potions I - Include potions in your loot based on the alchemical ingredients growing in your dungeon. Improves quality of potions created from potions absorbed as treasure.

Enchanting I - Add minor enchantments to your loot.

Compulsion I - This ability allows you to learn spells from the Compulsion school, such as Sleep or Charm. Wait. This shouldn’t be an option. Dungeons can’t learn spells!

A wicked grin slowly spread across the dungeon sprite’s face as he read the last ability and the Arcane Intelligence system’s personal commentary. Puck knew what he wanted, and the Level 4 abilities could wait. He selected Compulsion I from the scroll and finalized the decision. New text appeared.

Please choose a second level 3 ability. Which you don’t deserve, because your ability to learn spells has extremely disturbing implications. You’re a glitch, and I’m going to figure out how to fix you.

Puck snorted and mentally welcomed the system to try. Nothing was going to take him out. No one outsmarted Robin Goodfellow, the Merry Wanderer of the Night. Puck paused. Where had that thought come from? He remembered Dixon saying the name, but not the title. He shrugged and focused on choosing his next ability. It was more difficult to select this one with whimsy and impulse. He would have liked to upgrade Improved Metawell I, but improving an ability and taking a new one didn’t seem to be an option. At present Mystical Creatures and Sentience didn’t matter much to him. The only thing that mattered in here was him. Biosphere was somewhat interesting, providing possibilities of an improved food source, but the life he had consumed at level 1 would barely provide the power for a single spell at this point.

It came down to a choice between Potions and Enchanting. He wasn’t entirely certain what the fuss was about loot, drops, and treasure so Enchanting was mostly a curiosity, though he liked the sound of it. Potions, however, had real promise. Humans and other creatures were endlessly putting things in their mouths without any idea what would happen and there was certainly a lot of potential for amusing results, that being the case. Puck smirked and selected Potions I and affirmed his choice. The scroll changed.

Congratulations. You now have the Compulsion I ability. You can now cast Sleep and Charm.

Congratulations. You now have the Potions I ability. You can create potions based on the alchemical ingredients contained in your flora. Living flora of the required ingredients must be present in the dungeon in order to create potions of the specific type. Based on your flora, Psilocybin Mushroom and Cave Moss, you can create Minor Hallucinogenic Poison and Minor Pain Relief.

That being decided, Puck opened the last leveling scroll.

Please choose one Level 5 ability, two Level 4 abilities, three Level 3 abilities, four level 2 abilities, five level 1 abilities, improve two Level I abilities (i.e. Influence I to Influence II), or improve one Level II ability (i.e. Influence II to Influence III).

Puck didn’t bother to review the lists of abilities for level 4 or 5. He made his choice.

You would like to improve Illusion II to Illusion III. This decision is final. Yes/No?

Of course. New text faded in as the old faded out.

Congratulations. You now have the Illusion III ability. Glamour now affects tangibility and taste. You can now maintain glamours on inanimate objects with a minor daily upkeep cost. Glamours with an upkeep will be perceived by any sentient creature that encounters them. Inanimate glamours can be made permanent with Enchanting I.

For the first time, Puck questioned his haste. But he wasn’t too worried. Surely he’d have plenty of time at later levels to pick up Enchanting. For now, he still had two more scrolls to review before he got to the bottom of the stack. He pulled up the first.

You have absorbed a Dungeon Pixie. As the first dungeon to absorb this creature you have a one time opportunity to summon a stronger than average version of this monster to serve as a boss at a minimal mana cost.

P.S. If you say no, you’re an idiot.

P.P.S. I realize the bureaucracy is a pain in the ass, but you really shouldn’t put these things off.

P.P.P.S. Considering your leveling choices, this is your only chance to get a monster this strong to protect your crystal for a long time to come. If you say no, I expect you won’t last beyond the first adventuring party to discover your cavern. My guess is that’s coming as soon as whoever chased those goblins into your cave arrives.

Would you like to summon a dungeon boss of the Dungeon Pixie type now? Yes/No?

Puck stared at the yes/no for a while. He was hesitant, largely because the only moment’s peace he had known since gaining awareness were the brief periods without Dixon. But he supposed if the new version was just a pedantic and annoying he could just command it to be silent. Permanently. Yes, that would work. And the intelligence behind the scrolls seemed genuinely concerned that he was in danger and that this would help. As much as the unsolicited advice irritated him, he figured the mind behind the entire system probably had some idea what it was talking about. So fine. Decision made. He accepted the prompt.

Marble sized blue and gold balls on energy began to swirl up from the floor where Dixon had faded away, forming into a small tornado of magic. The energy twisted up into the room, expanding into a two foot wide spinning ring at the top. The vortex pulled all of the energy into the ring, then reversed upward, condensing into a single ball of blue light the size of a green coconut at the center with a shifting golden mist surrounding it. It’s pale luminescence spread into the room and for the first time Puck realized that in spite of his ability to see everything clearly, his dungeon was pitch black.

A scroll unfurled. Puck rolled his eyes. Of course it did. Because apparently that’s what dungeons did all day. Read scrolls for fun. Because clearly, there was nothing better for a dungeon to be doing. It read:

Due to changes in power, your Dungeon Pixie has been improved into a Dungeon Spirit Wisp. Spirit Wisp has been affected by Summons II, Creature Crafting I, Summon Abilities III, and Mystical Creatures III. It has been granted the abilities Conjure Creature, Summons I, Improved Metawell I, and Command Lesser Fae. It has learned the spells Paralyze, Fae Flames, Cancel Magic, and Mana Leech.

Name: ???

Level: 4 Classification: Dungeon Spirit Wisp [Boss]

Bonds: 0 Fauna: 1 Flora: 0

Abilities: Conjure Creature, Summons I, Improved Metawell I, Command Lesser Fae

Spells: Paralyze, Fae Flames, Cancel Magic, Mana Leech.

P.S. What an unholy merging of a dungeon and a monster. Your existence is unraveling a system of rules unchanged for nearly 2,000 years. I am fascinated and terrified.

Puck looked from the scroll to the wisp and back to the scroll. He focused on Fauna and watched it expand to the entry Dungeon Pixie.

Fauna:

Dungeon Pixie - The dungeon pixie is the rarest species of the fae outside of the individual members of the Fae Court. Dungeon pixies originated when the famous Wizard’s Tower bonded this unusual fae into a symbiotic relationship as a familiar in the early days of dungeon history. Added to the universal dungeon catalog by the Fae Dungeon, Puck, in the year 1896 C.E., the dungeon pixie remains rare due to the astronomical cost of unlocking it in the dungeon catalog. Due to their mana absorption properties, dungeon pixies are almost as highly prized as dungeon crystals themselves by mages and alchemists for their use in enchanting and potion making.

It seemed the monster Puck had summon was capable of summoning its own monsters to contribute to the protection of his dungeon. Assuming that used its own mana and not his, it sounded like a fair deal, though having his hall and room populated by more than one Dixon pixie was a nightmare he most definitely did not want to live through. Otherwise, the wisp seemed almost as strong as Puck himself. Whatever it was that needed to be defended so badly, it had been granted some good tools for doing so.

One more scroll waited to be dealt with, and Puck was resolved to be done with them before interacting with the new creature. He dismissed the wisp scroll and brought up the last from the earlier pile of paperwork. It was his updated status scroll.

Name: Puck, Robin Goodfellow, Merry Wanderer of the Night

Level: 5 Classification: Fae Dungeon

Bonds: 0 Fauna: 7 Flora: 2 Rooms: 2

Abilities: Command Lesser Fae, Illusion III, Metawell I, Compulsion I, Potions 1

Spells: Glamour, Sleep, Charm

Treasure: Noble’s Mahogany Bed, Goblin Loincloth, Goblin Short Sword, Bone Mace

Puck dismissed the scroll. He had read enough of the descriptions and felt the rest were self-explanatory. All the headaches having been worked through, he turned to his new dungeon boss. It was making small, lazy circles above his skeleton and the cold iron manacles on the floor. A feminine voice spoke in his head.

-I appear to be trapped, M’lord.-

The wisp was floating above the rune circle carved into the floor. It had come into being where Dixon had been absorbed. It was fae. Puck finally put together exactly what that meant.

“For the love of the fucking Queen of Fairies!”

Someone out there was laughing, and it definitely wasn't Puck.