When he’d finished telling his tale, Heluna was quiet for a long moment. “I knew it was some nasty shit, but I never expected Geas Venom.” She laughed, a short little nervous thing. “As little as I thought of Onirioago, I never thought she was capable of something that monstrous.”

“I’m ashamed of my part in it,” Kaldalis said, “but I’m glad I was able to stop it before it got underway.”

Heluna smiled at him. “You did a good thing. I’m glad you were there. Who knows what horrors you saved us from?”

“It scares me how much of it was luck, though,” Kaldalis said, staring out at the horizon. “What if I hadn’t been out fishing yesterday? If I missed running into her sending her hit squad out to fish up more of them, I wouldn’t have investigated further. And if she’d gone to a different fisherman for the initial quest, would they have had as much integrity?”

“But we don’t have to worry about it. You were there. Got that shit sorted out.”

Kaldalis shrugged and looked out at the ocean. Sunlight glinted off the crested waves. “It just bothers me how close we came to disaster,” he said finally, grimacing. “Onirioago was scary enough just by herself. Imagine if her council was drugged into agreeing with her every move? Or if she had an army of stormtroopers whose loyalty was guaranteed on pain of death?”

Heluna shuddered. “Yikes. I’d prefer not to. That’s fucking terrifying.”

“You think that’s scary?” Kaldalis laughed, and it felt bitter and scared. “Imagine how it felt to see her slipping through my hands, swearing that the next time she saw me, it’d be with Geas Venom already in my system.”

Heluna shivered, and in spite of his laughter, Kaldalis felt that same chill. He tried not to think about what it meant for him to be laughing about it so cavalierly.

Maybe he should find a way to ask Monsoon if they could send a therapist into the game for him. They’d have to understand.

The moment stretched between them just long enough to grow awkward.

Heluna was waiting for him to keep talking.

She knew he was hiding something.

And yet he still just wasn’t ready to confront that particular demon.

“So what did you really come here to talk about?” Heluna asked at last.

“Well, this was a really roundabout way of getting to the topic,” Kaldalis said, “but I’ve been trying to drum up some support. With the Expedition Leader position up for an open vote, I think I have a shot at it.”

“So, what, you want me to help you talk people out of voting for you?”

“What?” Kaldalis laughed involuntarily at the idea of Heluna cursing at people when they said they were voting for him. “No. What? Why would I want that?”

“It just...” Heluna blinked, her grey skin taking on a darkened flush of embarrassment. “Shit, I’m sorry. I just assumed you didn’t want the job.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Kaldalis asked. “Don’t you think it would be a great honor to be the Expedition Leader?”

“Honor, yeah. But also responsibility. It’d tie your ass down here to this camp. You wouldn’t be allowed to do the crazy shit you love.” She shrugged and picked at a grain of sand on her thigh. “Just think about it for a second. Don’t you think it’s weird that you never saw Onirioago outside of the encampment’s walls?”

“No. Why would she ever leave, though?”

“Come on,” Heluna said with a smirk. “Think about it for a moment. She was a fucking monster, yes, but you and her have a few things in common. If she wasn’t shackled by the Expedition Leader job, she would have given you a run for your money on the big showy displays of adventurer bullshit.”

Kaldalis felt as if he’d been punched. “You think I’m like her?” he asked, and his voice squeaked with the horror he felt.

“What? No, not at all,” Heluna said quickly. “I just think you have a common interest in showing off. She didn’t get the expedition leader spot just by kissing ass and doing paperwork. From the stories off the mainland, she was a bold bitch when it came to dungeons.”

Kaldalis nodded and ran his fingers through the sand at his side. It was warming up slightly, either because of his presence or due to the sun. “She did seem to be really concerned with making herself look good. But I thought it was because she didn’t have the chops to back it up.”

“Nah,” Heluna shook her head, “she’s the real deal. Was? An adventurer through and through. Except without the integrity and honesty you seem to have.”

“Well... if she could do it, why can’t I? Do you think I lack her discipline?”

“No, no, no,” Heluna said quickly, and then paused. “Well. Yes, actually. Maybe discipline isn’t the right word, though. Drive, maybe? Ambition? But like… Shit. Is there a word that means ambition, but evil?” She shook her head. “Whatever the fuck. You know what I mean, though, right?”

“I don’t think I do,” Kaldalis said coldly.

“I mean that she put all of that aside - all the glory and prestige - for the sake of being Expedition Leader. And for what? A day ago, I might have said political power. Now I know it was for the position to be able to enslave the whole encampment.” She shrugged with one shoulder. “I don’t know what would be prize enough to make you settle down, but if you were the sort to chase either of those two goals, I don’t think I’d like you as much as I do.”

Kaldalis had to consider that for a minute. He still felt like he wanted the job. Like he wanted his hat in the ring. But he couldn’t very well tell Heluna about his reasons.

His primary motivation was to draw attention to his stream, right?

Explaining that to Heluna meant explaining that her world was a videogame.

He was not eager to open that can of worms.

It would also mean explaining videogame streaming to an attractive woman in a low-cut top. Something he’d already decided was going to go as well for Kaldalis as it had for Dylan back in high school.

“So then who would you vote for?” Kaldalis asked. “I thought we were good enough friends that I’d have you in my corner.”

“You are my friend,” Heluna said in an uncharacteristically gentle voice. “But my vote isn’t about that. I don’t think you’d be a shitty pick for Expedition Leader, I think Expedition Leader would be a shitty pick for you. You’d be miserable tied down like that.”

Kaldalis found himself getting angry. “That’s not an answer. Who would you vote for, Heluna?”

Heluna sighed and looked out at the ocean. “Glorious One’s Shining Tit you can be an ass.” She picked up a handful of sand and pitched it at the water. “Honestly, I was kinda just gonna see who’s nominated and go from that. But if you are gonna twist my arm like a gaping asshole... probably Garyung.”

The name was like a punch in the gut again.

Garyung.

That fucking guy was everywhere.

“Now that I think about it, he seems like an obvious choice,” Heluna said. She leaned back, sprawling out on the sand again beside him. “After the first couple days, all the adventurers stopped helping with salvage. That fucker has been out here twice a week like clockwork diving for stuff with us. Not to mention his work for the lumber mill. He’s been providing us with extra wood on top of what the quests have needed. Without his help, we’d just have the architect team’s shitty leftovers.”

“Where does he find the time?” Kaldalis muttered. He kind of wanted to flop back on the sand, defeated, but it would have meant laying down on Heluna’s arm. “Everyone I talk to, he’s always there. He did dungeon runs for the other adventurers, he gathers shit for the crafters, and now you, too?”

“Hey, don’t get the wrong idea,” Heluna said quickly. “He’s a nice guy, but he’s boring as shit. Have you ever tried to hold a conversation with him? Fuck me. I’d spend a week in the brig with Onirioago rather than spend an hour at dinner with Garyung.”

“Ugh. I don’t think I’d take that deal.”

“Yeah, but she wouldn’t be boring. That’s why I like hanging out with you. You’re never boring.”

“Too exciting to be Expedition Leader,” Kaldalis said. He hated how pissy his voice sounded. “I suppose it’s better than being a scheming monster.”

“You’re a rugged individualist,” Heluna said. “But not a leader. I’d march into hell itself if you were beside me. But we don’t need someone to march into hell with.” She tucked her hands behind her head as she stared up at the blue morning sky above. “We need someone boring to make sure we have the right number of beans for tomorrow’s breakfast. That’s Garyung.”

“Fine. I don’t suppose you’d vote for me if Garyung doesn’t take the nomination?”

“Like I said...” Heluna sighed. “I’ll see who the options are and pick from there. Maybe I’ll vote for you then.”

“You don’t sound very convincing.”.

“Well, fucking call me out why don’t you?” Heluna sat up, propping herself up on her elbow to glare at him. “I don’t want you to be the Expedition Leader, okay? Maybe I’m being selfish, but you’d be so fucking busy all the time we’d never hang out again. If the options are obvious assholes and abusers, and you’re the only decent person on the vote, I’d pick you over them in a heartbeat, but if there’s someone who would do half as good a job, but actually like doing it, I’m picking them instead.”

“It’s fine,” Kaldalis grumbled. “I get it. Garyung’s got your vote. And everyone else’s.” He struggled to his feet. “I should… I don’t know. Go do something stupid by myself.”

“Kaldalis...” Heluna hesitated. “I’m trying to help you.”

“No, no, I get it. You think you know better than me what I want. You won’t be the first.” He flinched at the memory of Onirioago’s grip on the front of his armor. “You won’t even be the first in the last twelve hours.”

He expected her to argue, but she fell silent at that, apparently shocked by his words.

That worked for him. He needed to get away from her right now.

In fact, he needed to get away from everyone.

Balrim was right. Elections were just popularity contests.

High school never fucking ends.

And Myrin was right, too. Getting shot down by Heluna had hurt worse than anyone else’s rejection could have. As she’d predicted, it put him in a mood to crawl back into bed and wait for it to all be over.

He stomped away, kicking at the sand as if it would make him feel better.