《Indefinite》1.Death
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White walls and beeping sounds. That has been my life for the last 10 years. Some might say it is nothing compared to my 93 years of life on the outside, however I must disagree.
Tied to this room decorated with the instruments that keep me alive. A cold metal bed and a long metal table covered in my life’s research. Above the table the only window shedding meagre light into my lonely room, nothing can compare to what seemed like eternity in a box.
As I move my tired body off the bed and towards the window, the rattling of tubes and sensors while they follow my every move breaks the silence. Outside the window the red glare makes my eyes waver. The last rays of light, soon there will be darkness, then light again. And so time moves on.
Time is an indefinite continuation, one that all existences succumb to.
Although never scared of death, I have always been afraid of a meaningless life. A long time ago, I took great interest in martial arts and reaching enlightenment. I focused on the development of the body and mind. Surpassing my physical and mental abilities each time. Although fulfilling, within a few years the limits of my body were reached. I could do no more and kept searching for new meaning.
I look around the stacks of papers on the table and move some folder out of the way. There I find a book with on the front, in scribbled writing the title reads, theories on the laws of the physical universe.
Through my life I have read allot of books. They gave me insights, ideas and purpose. Starting out with books on reincarnation, magic, love, death and creation. Then, more explicit books like mechanics, quantum physics, thermodynamics, relativity, and interdisciplinary fields such as astrophysics, biophysics and chemical physics.
Most of my life however, was devoted to understanding the laws of our universe. I wanted to know the principles and to understanding the purpose of life in the cycle of indefinite continuation. Thus, I created the theory on the laws of the physical universe. A well received theory that made me quite famous, although I did not much care for the opinion of others. Their trivial conflicts and seemingly meaningless existence confused me.
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My observations of the planet and the universe however lead me to understand more and more. Through my research I walked many paths, one in particular though, would be forever etched into my memory. Manipulating the surroundings in order to create phenomena. Actually bending the laws of this universe to your will. That was the path I had discovered.
I had unravelled the very nature of the universe itself and I could influence it. Humanity had always called it magic, a power that can mysteriously or supernaturally influence the physical and natural world. However through observation and experimental means I had the beginnings to creating a systematic structure to accomplish what others deemed sorcery. It would have been my greatest accomplishment. Until my body gave in and I ended up surrounded by four walls.
I scan the table with the remnants of my life’s work. Although the purpose of life is still a mystery to me, I had found my goal. I had the means. However even with my immaculate health, time eventually took me.
Reaching over I press my hand against the glass window that separates me from the outside. My eyes wander over the landscape and eventually turn to look at the inside of my tiny room. A low sigh escapes my lips.
Two regrets. After a meagre 103 years of life, to have only two regrets should be an accomplishment. My first regret is that I never got to finish my research, to become a being different from human, something much more. My second regret is that I never took the time to love another. Although rare, within the billions of people there were still abundant woman whose intellect outshone my own and whose beauty was astounding. I had not the awareness to appreciate them.
Another sigh escapes me. I return to the bed with small silent steps and crawl under the covers. I get into a comfortable position, placing the cushions at the right angle behind my back. By the time everything is in place, my breath is heavy and my whole body aches.
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By now my room is in darkness. Out here, far away from everything, the light of civilisation does not reach. Even the moon and the stars seem to have disappeared behind the clouds.
10 years. It seems I held on longer then I could have predicted. The will to live has kept me going. However, now even that has run out.
I look at the machine next to me. I reach out my hand and flip a switch. I try to move my hand back to the bed but it only makes it half way before it limply falls out of my control.
As I close my eyes I listen to the silence around me while slowly falling asleep, never to wake up again.
***
Before I can understand what has happened an unbelievable force pulls at my very being. My senses seem to go erratic; it feels like I’m being pulled through a vortex. However I feel no pain.
Eventually my surroundings stabilise. Slowly, I open my eyes and find myself surrounded by darkness. What the fuck is going on? There is no way a stupid concept such as the afterlife exists right? How over populated would that place be?
I try took look at myself but cannot discern anything, like my mind does not understand my very surroundings. All I get from my senses is darkness. It’s a very confusing feeling.
“Soul scanning in progress”
An indiscernible voice surrounds me. Although not one of the 7 languages I am familiar with, I understand what it says.
“Soul scanning complete, titles allocated. Sage of Wisdom. Expert of Martial Arts. Philosopher of the Universe. Scholar of Knowledge. Elder of life.”
Soon the voice speaks again. Although flattering, I do not completely understand the titles. The situation is starting to make some sense at least.
“Conditions met, more than two titles. Conditions met, extraordinary titles achieved. Options available. First option, do you wish to go to a higher plain?”
Okay, more information. So if I’m not mistaken, I died and got relocated to this place, wherever this may be. There is a being that seems to govern what it calls the ‘souls’ of my world. It allocating titles that most likely has to do with my life’s achievements. And now I’m given options? Higher plane sounds good though.
“Yes?”
Soon after I declared my answer a new question followed.
“Do you wish to keep your memories?”
“Yes!”
I answer without thinking. My memories are everything to me. It is my life’s work and my strength. If I can keep them, I can become as indefinite as time itself!
“Do you wish to be of the human species?”
That is an interesting question. I never had an attachment to my humanity. In fact, if I were to be compared to some groups of my own species it would be a great insult. Although being an animal would be somewhat problematic.
“No”
As I voice my answer, I feel myself being pulled away before I can make heads or tails of anything. Everything blurs as I once more drift towards another place.
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