《Progression Farmer》17. Date
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Romulo was the only person present when Midday made it back to the cabin—an omen Midday knew could not be good. He was sitting cross-legged at the table, watching Tomulo, his beetle, doing battle with some fairly large ants that were also on the table. Glauster, he knew, was probably still at the execution while Gork, if he had to guess, was probably off on some emergency doctor business.
“What are you doing?”
“Supervising Tomulo’s combat training.” Romulo shrugged. “But I guess we can call it quits now that you’re here.” Romulo scooped up his beetle and squashed all the remaining ants with a single press of the thumb. He then haphazardly tossed the beetle at one of the walls, which Tomulo responded to by positioning itself to land gracefully, sticking to the wall upon crashing into it. “How was your day?”
“Typical. You?” Midday was waiting fearfully for Romulo to announce that it was time for training.
“Very much the opposite… Probably one of the weirdest days I’ve had in quite some time. But I did get some good information about Devil Peppercorn, so there’s that.”
“From Netari?”
“Ah, so Gork told you. Yeah, she knew a lot about the subject.” Romulo was twiddling his thumbs and looking at his lap, a combination of gestures Midday did not know how to interpret.
“But there was a price, no? From what I’ve heard about her, I doubt she would tell you anything just out of the goodness of her heart. Just what kind of price did you have to pay?”
“Well, she told me everything I wanted to know… In exchange for going on a date with her.”
Midday blinked a few times. “…What?”
“Yeah, uh, it caught me by surprise too… That’s the first time a girl has shown any interest at all in me.”
“Uh-huh…” Midday, dumbstruck, wasn’t sure how to proceed. This was not the kind of conversation he had expected to have with the giant whose cheeks were blushing red. “So, umm, when exactly is this ‘date’ going to happen?”
“It already did.”
“Oh… Well, uh, congratulations? Sorry if this is prying but, umm, how did it go?”
“We went hiking through the forest and had a sunny picnic in a nice little clearing I use as a campsite sometimes… And she taught me how to drink liquor like a nobleman while I showed the various medicinal herbs endemic to the area. It was nerve-wracking… But I think it went well?”
Midday sat silently for a moment, unsure of what to think, before responding. “I hate to be the person to say this, but do you think she might just be trying to use you? Like trying to get on your good side because you’re the most physically powerful slave in the whole Neighborhood?”
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“Hah… You and I think alike, don’t we?” Romulo chuckled. “I learned when I was young that when people are nice to me, the reason usually ends up being because they were trying to take advantage of my strength. After all, why else would any reasonable person tolerate a disgusting transhuman like me?” He chuckled again, more quietly this time. “But no, I honestly think she has a ‘thing’ for me… Though the reason she gave me for it was… a bit weird.”
“How so?”
“She’s really tall—and I’m the only person she’s ever met who’s taller than her—so apparently she took that as a sign…”
“Golly… Just how huge is she then?”
“Just under 7 feet tall.
“Holy shit.”
“I mean… She’s still pretty tiny by my standards, I think, but I dunno…” Romulo sighed. “Let’s talk about all that later. The real news is all the information I got on Devil Peppercorn.”
“R-right.” Midday was more than happy to change the topic to something a bit more approachable. “So, uh, what did you learn?”
“A few things—the most important of which was a solution to your taste-related problems.” A half-formed grin snuck its way onto his lips, but he forced it into a frown just a few moments later.
Midday, perplexed by the odd body language, leaned forward, speaking in a hushed tone of disbelief. “You’re serious?”
“Dead.” Romulo leaned forward too, now speaking in a whisper—albeit a loud one that was audible from anywhere in the room. “You probably aren’t going to like it though.”
“Well… That’ll be decided after I hear what it is.” Midday gestured for Romulo to continue.
“Netari… She, umm, how do I put this?” He thought in silence for a moment, mulling over the words he was about to say. “It seems that Netari likes to… experiment.”
Midday broke into a cold sweat, getting nervous because of the obvious apprehension in Romulo’s voice. “How so?”
“There’s… a procedure.” Romulo gazed past Midday and stared at the wall. “A procedure that would—among many other things—allow you to consciously choose to turn your sense of taste on or off… and she offered to give it to you for free with no strings attached.”
Midday felt a pit forming of anxiousness forming in his gut as he sat silently in horrid anticipation of the incredibly awful twist he instinctively knew to expect. He gestured for Romulo to continue.
“She also assures me that—at least to the extent of her knowledge—there will be absolutely no downsides or complications related to the procedure. It will be a simple ‘upgrade’ to the anatomy of your tongue in every aspect, she says…”
“Get on with it.” Midday drew a deep breath. “You’re leaving something out, aren’t you?”
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Romulo winced. “Ah… Well, uh, yeah. There’s no real nice way to put this, but, umm, the nature of this procedure is a replacement.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“There’s a certain creature that Netari is studying right now on behalf of one of her clients. It survives by crawling into the mouths of unsuspecting animals and assimilating itself into the tongues of those creatures before eventually replacing them altogether…”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Midday knew where this was going, and he was getting queasy just thinking about it. “I think I’ll pass.”
Romulo continued anyways. “Tongue Jellies are generally quite weak and, in the wild, it would be impossible for them to absorb themselves into the tongue of anything larger than maybe a squirrel, but Netari has somehow found a way to circumvent this limitation, thereby allowing them to incorporate into much larger organisms—”
“I really do not think we need to continue this conversation.”
“Hmm…. I thought you’d say that. The way I describe it probably makes it sound gross, but Netari showed me some of the animals she had tested this procedure on, and it wasn’t disgusting as I thought it would be. The only real difference was that their tongues had turned black.”
“Even still.” Midday shuddered at the thought of having another creature living inside his mouth. “Would it be permanent?”
Romulo nodded.
“Then yeah, I pass.”
“If that’s your decision, then so be it, but you should know that Netari invited you to come to the cabin she’s been using as her laboratory and have everything explained to you by the person who would be performing the surgery. Sooner is better, she said. If you show up tomorrow—regardless of if you end up going through with the procedure or not—she promised me that you would receive some sort of reward as a sign of thanks for your timeliness.”
“So she’s desperate.” Midday sighed. He still had no interest in the surgery, but establishing ties with someone he knew had connections to the black market and all the smuggling that went along with it would be a wise move to make—especially now that he had Devil Peppercorn beads to sell. “That reward had better be worth my time…”
“I’m sure it’ll be decent. After all, she’s one of the richest slaves in the Neighborhood. One of the whiskeys she brought to our picnic was aged for 12 years and, in alcohol, older apparently equals better—so I guess it probably had to be expensive?”
“Well… that is how alcohol works, yes.” Midday frowned. “But yeah, I’m sure she’ll be able to meet the painfully low standards I have for the moment. I’ll go tomorrow after work.”
“Good choice.” Romulo popped onto his feet so quickly that he banged his head against the low ceiling of the cabin. “Damn roof! We ought to get around to doing some renovations at some point. Raising the ceiling up maybe 5 feet or so would do the trick.” He stooped down and grinned. “But who cares about all that? It’s time to train!”
“Ugh… We’re still doing that? The sun went down a while ago… and I still have to eat—which I guess will take an hour at the absolute minimum when you factor in the peppercorn paralysis. I also have the additional task of cooking dinner tonight, seeing as Glauster isn’t home right now. As if all that wasn’t enough already, I also need to find at least some time to sleep. So…”
“So what?” Romulo grinned. “I accounted for all that. Today’s training will be something we can do here in the cabin, if that’s alright with you. We can do it while your dinner cooks, and we can call it quits after you eat.”
“What if, instead of that, we just sat around and did nothing while dinner cooks?”
“That’s a bad attitude.”
“Yeah, well, I feel pretty justified in wanting to laze about and rest for a change. Let me remind you that I had to reopen the wound on my left hand because of your stupid little ‘training’ last night… And my leg is somehow still bleeding! And all that is in addition to very nearly killing myself in the field every day! Just hurry up and cut me some slack already, will you?”
Romulo just shrugged. “Frustrated, are you? How about taking it all out on something?”
“The hell are you on about?” Midday got up and grabbed the empty pot that was sitting idle above the fireplace.
“What if today’s training session was literally just you trying to beat me up and nothing more? I wouldn’t dodge or fight back at all.”
“I think I’ll pass,” answered Midday, who was already walking towards the door. “I know what you’re doing here. You’re trying to show me how weak I am by letting me attack you only to realize that I'm completely incapable of hurting you, and your intent in doing so is to illustrate how weak I am and how much I need to improve… But believe me, Romulo, I’m well aware of how pathetic I am.”
“It was that obvious, huh? I’m amazed you guessed that.”
“Yeah, well, I did.” Midday sighed as he stepped out the door. “I’m off to fetch water now. See you in a few minutes, I guess."
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