[Tanya]

Where before there was hope and relief at seeing my sister, now there was only rage. This scent, never before had I smelled anything that made me so very angry…. and at the same time so very hungry. I trashed and jerk on the hospital bed; I needed to get closer and destroy that horrible, disgusting, lovely, fucking, perfect scent! I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t even stop myself from flailing around, desperate to get to that scent and drink it up, wallow in it, destroy it and cover it in my sister's blood!

Yes! That was exactly what I needed to do, it was the only way to get rid of my desires. I simply knew it was. I couldn’t explain how I knew this and my rational mind screamed at me to not listen to this desire but still, it was quite literally the only thing I could act upon. I wished to destroy Aliana, rip her limb from limb, and splatter her blood all over this beloved, hated scent. This was all that I needed to be fulfilled in this world. And I would do anything to do what my instincts screamed at me should be done.

I didn’t care for my sister's life, I didn’t care for her pain or her suffering or any atrocity I would inflict upon her as long as I could drown this scent in her blood. I ignored her panicked shouting, I ignored the shackles digging into my flesh, I ignored my bones creaking and scraping against another, ignored Ace as he rushed into the room, I ignored another needle piercing my skin. I would savage her and savour her flesh. And then suddenly all of it was gone, the scent, the rage, the hunger, and even the inhuman desire to dig my teeth into my sister and fashion jewelry out of her guts.

I blinked, once, twice before letting out a shallow panicked breath of relief and fear. What the hell had just happened? A single waft of this smell and my instincts, no... I had gone feral. The worst part of it all was that I remembered it perfectly clearly. This fucking… stuff hadn’t just hijacked my body, instead, it had made me love and hate and yearn for it. A shaky panicked whisper escaped my lips.

“Fuck me… I’m a monster.”

“You could say that, yes.”

My head whipped around. Ace was standing right next to me and I hadn’t even noticed. Most concerning, he was wearing full-body disease protection gear.

“But” He continued. “Probably not in the way that you think right now. If anything at all, you are a medical monstrosity.”

He sighed and right in front of my eyes pocketed a gun he had been holding in his lap.

“Your fever is up to forty-one point six degrees, you’re hooked up to an IV with several medical cocktails but the infection ravaging your body doesn’t seem to stop. In fact, it actually looks like your body's immune reaction further increases its spread. And looking at your white blood cells I am hard-pressed to actually find current viral hot spots. To make matters worse, while I do know that the whole thing started around the cuts on your arm, administering anti-viral medication does literally less than nothing, as your own fucking body is fighting the medication.”

I could see his face tremble for a second before instead, he chose to get up, kick his chair across the room and scream at the top of his lungs. “Fuck! Why!? Why are you always like this!? We tried getting you help but you still end up jumping from one suicidal situation into the next! Why would you ever think fucking around with Corpos is a good idea!? You are twenty-eight but you still act like a fucking child!”

“I…” I wanted to scoot under the blanket, embarrassed and hurt but was stopped by my bindings, leaving me to look right at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think. I didn’t know this would happen! But… I feel fine, really!”

Ace didn’t even look at me this time, instead, he just chuckled, it was a desperate heartbreaking noise.

“Of course, you feel fine. And somehow you still don’t get it. Gods be damned, Tanya. This pathogen inside you, there is nothing natural about it. Someone invented it, build it, and perfected it. It was designed specifically for a purpose, one that I am not even slightly grasping. You feel fine because it is how the virus was intended to work. Hadn’t you come to me because of all the cuts and bruises I wouldn’t have even found out… you wouldn’t even have found out. It would have just done its thing, slowly insidiously bit by bit, fucking with your body and rebuilding it into whatever the fuck it was supposed to. I…”

He stopped himself and looked at me.

“I shouldn’t have screamed at you. It isn’t your fault. You didn’t choose to get infected, nor did you choose what is about to happen to you.”

This… sounded bad. “What-” I almost choked on the words. “What, exactly is going to happen to me?”

“Honestly?” Ace set down next to my bed but still didn’t touch me. “I don’t know, I never encountered this strain, while it seems like a virus it is so much more than that. I was actually hoping your own perspective might be able to help me figure this all out.”

I wasn’t sure how to react to this, I just didn’t understand why he didn’t have an answer. He was a doctor was he not? Didn’t doctors know everything there is to know about medicine stuff? I had always just kind of assumed Ace would be able to fix anything, just the way he had done so often in the past. I didn’t like this, I didn’t want this thing in me, I most certainly didn’t want it to do whatever it pleased! I made me feel so incredibly powerless and frustrated… part of me just wanted to give up already. After all, despite acting tough and strong in front of Valerie I had never been strong. Dark memories from before threatened to rise back up and I quickly shut down that train of thought. I hated people seeing this side of me… but I would hate losing Valerie even more. I took a deep breath and focused.

“Okay, Ace. I will tell you anything I can. We have to defeat this thing!”

“Good. That’s the spirit I want to see.” He smiled at me. “Now, the first thing I want to talk about is your strange bouts of aggression. It happened twice now, and while we both know that you aren’t new to… anger issues, these episodes were clearly different. Do you know anything that could have triggered them?”

I hadn’t expected him to address this so quickly. Hate and desire both pulsed through me just thinking about the episodes, especially the last one. But it didn’t help to keep quiet about it especially in front of the only one who could save me from… whatever was happening to me. So instead I clenched my fists and just forced the truth out of me.

“The first time was…” I stopped and realized something. “I don’t actually know. I was lost in thoughts and then suddenly I was just angry… so angry, I simply wanted to smash something. Honestly, I wasn’t really all there when I punched the window. Does that make sense?”

“Mhm, keep going.” He barely looked up from his tablet.

“But the second time…” I stopped as my butt cheeks started to itch for some reason. “Fuck, sorry my butt is itchy. Anyway, so yeah… the second time was different. Aliana came in and there was this smell, not on herself mind you just her clothes as if she brushed up against something. But this smell... it was simultaneously the best and the worst smell in my life. All I wanted was to…” I paused for a second, I didn’t actually want him to know what it made me feel. “… it made me really, really angry. That... that’s it.”

I could see him looking at me intently, almost as if he knew that I was holding something back. But instead of calling me out on it as I would have expected but he didn’t, instead, he just sighed again and put down his tablet.

“This… scent as you say. How would you describe it?”

“Kind of like coconut but also very much not? Frankly, I never before smelled it anywhere else! Uhm, you wouldn’t want to scratch my head for me, would you? It started itching like crazy all of a sudden.”

He smoothly ignored my request and instead made some more notes on his device. “Makes sense. Now, please open your mouth wide and don’t move, I need to test something.”

Before I could even give my okay, he had already seized my chin and began looking through one of those tiny weird flashlights. The way he poked it into my nose and mouth was very uncomfortable and soon enough I felt a sneeze coming. Ace must have seen it too because he quickly took five steps back. He was just in time as I couldn’t hold it back any longer and my whole head rocketed forward. I could feel something dislodge itself from my sinuses and shoot right out of my nose, but instead of getting clear completely, it drooped down my face like a huge stretchy booger. I looked up at my sister’s partner with pleading eyes.

“Could you get that for me, please? You know, hands still bound?” I shook my cuffed hands a bit to make my point but he only looked at me with a mixture of curiosity, concern, and disgust. But before I could ask again he took out a swap and plastic tube, with a singular motion he scooped up most of the slime and dropped the swap into the test tube. To my surprise the booger was deep red in colour, when had my nose bled, had it been during the fight?

“Stay… right here. I’ll check this out and get back to you as quick as possible.”

“Uhm… okay!? Not like I can actually go anywhere?”

All I could do was watch sheepishly as he ran off like a storm and left me alone, the rest of the booger still hanging from my nose. Another thing that bothered me was my now severely itching butt and head. Fucking hells, this itching was driving me crazy! I couldn't even scratch the spots with my hands and feet still cuffed to the bed! It didn’t take me long to be frustrated enough that I started rubbing myself raw on any surface I could reach. I no longer even cared that the snot was now plastered over my face as more and more of my skin began to itch.

Where before it had been a nuisance at most, by now it was full-on torture! It felt as if my every pore was burning and from what I could see my skin was starting to take on an inflamed red hue, which quickly got worse around any area of my skin with lots of hair. Then as if on commando my whole skin twitched. It felt like a powerful electric shock had gone through me but instead of it being painful, I actually felt a lot better!

Sadly this relief only held for the fraction of a second. I leaned my head forward to look for the door and instead could only watch in horror as messy black strands of hair fell down my face. The next thing I knew, my whole ponytail just kinda slid from my head and fell onto the mattress next to me. I wasn’t quite sure why that specifically was the point at which I freaked out but it was. I couldn’t contain my terror, my panic nor my frustration anymore. It all just broke out at once in a terrified distorted scream. Something next to me fell to the floor as I thrashed around in full-on panic, but I didn’t have the mental capacity to associate the sudden wetness with a broken glass of water, instead, I only panicked more and more.

“Tanya!” Barely a moment into my panic attack Ace slammed open the door. For a time he just looked at me, apparently stunned by what he was seeing. “What happened? I was away for a few minutes at most, I...”

“It’s gone, Ace! All of my hair is gone! Why!? I thought we could still fix this! Why is this happening?” I screamed in frustration as I clutched the remains of my hair to my chest. The red scrunchie holding it together seemed to taunt me with its bright happy colour.

“By the Gods... Tanya, I am so sorry.” Ace rushed over to my side, apparently no longer bothering with his own safety. “I would have never expected it to happen this fast but with what I just saw I am certain of my earlier assumption. Tanya, believe me when I say that I am incredibly sorry for failing you like this but-.”

“What do you mean?” I interrupted him. “What the fuck do you mean with “failing”? You’re not giving up on me are you?”

“Tanya!” Ace yelled, all the soft care from before shed in an instant. “Actually listen to me and stop acting like a fucking child! I never said I was giving up on you! If you would just listen for once you would have known that I care far too much about you to ever give up on you and bow just for once shut your mouth and really and intently listen to what I say because, by the Hells, your fucking life depends on it!”

“Yes, Sir.” Was all that I could meekly whisper before he continued.

“Tanya, I have indeed failed you, as a doctor certainly for not seeing this for what it was but most of all as a friend. You are as much a little sister to me as you are to Aliana and because of that, I should have protected you. We should have protected you... in fact we should have never given you the contact to AFI. We should have known the dangers of working for them especially after having worked for them for a while now.”

My eyes grew wide as I took in this new information but I didn’t dare to speak up and so Ace just carried on.

“Keeping you in civilian life would have quite possibly been the only way to prevent what is going to happen. Tanya, let’s face it you were never one to obey... After you fled the battle that ended your friend's rebellion we should have taken you away from all of this forever... now I fear that will be impossible. We should have never tried hiding you in plain sight, though we will have to try the same again.”

“What do you...” I stopped myself, realising the stupidity of my own question.”

“The virus in your system. I checked it against all databases that I know, again and again with no result. That was until I checked it against databases that I shouldn’t know of. There is literally no easy way to say this, so I will be straightforward.... Tanya, you have been exposed to an artificially altered version of a MAV known as the Envy-Strain. If left unchecked it will quickly mutate both your body and your mind into a bloodthirsty monstrosity... one that, considering the alterations, will be far harder to put down than your average Infected. While it still has enough of the base code left that your body will roughly take on the form of a Kasha, the changes are all over the place.”

No longer could I just sit and take all this, he simply couldn’t be right!

“So what,” I yelled. “That’s it? You're just gonna let me transform into a monster? Well, fuck-di-fucking-da! This is insane you know this, this whole talk about it being changed? Everyone knows that you can’t change a MAV, every Infected gets what the Lady of Woe gives them! So what you’re basically telling me that I’m going to lose my sanity and start fricking slaughtering anyone too pretty and steal corpses!? Cause last time I checked that is exactly what a Kasha does! Nobody would even bother making a weapon out of that! Gods, I just want to....”

I wasn’t actually sure what I wanted. The last few days had only been spent thinking about how to save Valerie. I didn’t know how to save myself, I had never known that. And by now I was starting to feel exhaustion and defeatism creep up on me. I already had failed Valerie, hadn’t I?

“No.” I shook my head, the cold breeze reminding me too clearly of the reality of my situation. “Give me a gun and let me end this all in peace...”

“I can’t do that, Tanya. But I will give you some time alone.” With this, Ace left the room, the door falling shut with a soft click.

If anybody had asked me to describe that moment I wouldn’t have been able to. For a long time I just sat there, barely a thought going through my mind. I was no longer even looking at anything, too lost was I in my own self-pity. And so I didn’t even notice at first that somebody was in the room with me. Only when she put her hand on my shoulder did I startle back into reality to find my sister sitting next to me on the bed. Almost instantly I lurched away from her, fearing for the insane desires from before to return but they never came. Instead, when I realised that I wasn’t going to kill my sister over a simple smell, all restrained that I had broke away in an instant.

For several minutes I cried and screamed, tears and snot flowing down my face in equal measure. And then at some point, as I was burrowing my face in Aliana's lap, it stopped. I no longer had any tears to cry or any screams to let out. Both my eyes and throat were so sore that wasn’t sure I would ever again need to cry. And yet, to my surprise, I felt... better; what did it actually matter that I was going to turn into a cat-like monstrosity? I had never actually achieved anything in life and I had already failed at saving Valerie, be it from herself or from her father. Perhaps being but an animal was exactly what I deserved? Slowly I turned my head to look at Aliana, I hadn’t noticed it before but she too was wearing protective gear, though she didn’t carry a gun like Ace.

“I look ugly, right?” I asked in a tired voice.

“Hmm, yes.” My sister quipped. “Exactly as ugly as the last time I saw you. As ugly as any person would look after crying their eyes out.”

“Oh…” That made sense. “Okay. So, what happens now?”

“Well,” Alice looked almost as tired as I felt. “First of all, there are several legal problems I need to run you by.”

“Legal problems? Why that?”

“Simple said, you are no longer considered human; both in an ethical and in a legal sense. If you leave this clinic anyone could shoot you and they would be entirely within their rights. In other words, you leave and you will die.”

“That sounds... troubling?” I asked, unsure about the situation.

“Yes, indeed it doesn’t.” Alina retorted entirely ignoring my question. “Sadly it gets worse, you also can not stay here in the clinic. If Ace as a licensed doctor keeps a MAV-Infected hidden from the authorities he will face serious consequences including losing his license and going to prison. So he and I came to the only obvious conclusion...”

“Which is?”

“Well, I am most certainly not going to give up my sister to the authorities, am I? So, you’re going to instead stay with us in our apartment. There we will be able to take care of you and do our best to find any kind of treatment or perhaps even a cure for your... condition. Know that this isn’t a choice, Tanya. You will stay with me if you want to or not.”

“I... I understand, Aliana. You’re probably right anyway… but if what I am… becoming is so dangerous, how are you going to protect yourselves? I don’t want to hurt you or worse…” Flashes from before crossed my mind, the idea of actually doing anything like that to my sister, really to anyone, made me sick. My quickly derailing thoughts took a sudden stop when I saw Aliana’s lips pull into a wry smile.

“For that, my dear sister, I found a somewhat unorthodox solution.” She pat the brown paper bag next to her, before pulling out two pieces of fabric with several straps attached to them. “I know what you’re thinking but stay with me on this!”

“Ali…” I dared a gimps at the bottom of the bag before shooting her a panicked look. “This… isn’t what I think it is, right?”

“Tanya, please, there is no reason to freak out. This is to both our and your own safety.”

“Safety?” I balked at her calm words, unbelieving of what she was suggesting. “This is quite literally kidnapping and what not else kinds of wrongs!”

“What would you have me do instead!?” She trust the “garments” at me and I was shocked to see tears in her eyes. “Would you rather that I shackle and collar you so that I could chain you to a wall? Cause that is exactly what other people did to their infected relatives! For fucks sake, Tanya! I saw the twisted beings that were forgotten in those cellars with my own eyes! I swore my own fucking soul to a God-Like just so that I would be spared that fate! This is quite literally the only humane solution I could come up with and I have studied shit like this for years! So please let me ensure that I still have a sister left after this?”

“I…” My throat closed up. I hadn’t known that Aliana was sworn to a God-Like. “I’m sorry. You… I… I also want to still have a sister after whatever is coming…”

“Thank you, Tanya.” Her smile seemed so sad and desperate that I couldn't even look her in the eyes as she unlocked the cuffs around my legs. “Okay, I will talk you through what I am doing so you feel less insecure. First up I will undress your lower body. Throughout the metamorphosis Ace and I will keep you fed but as walking you to the toilet every time is a high risk for all of us, we will clean and relive you in bed.”

Slowly and gently she pulled off my pants and panties. Little clumps of hair swirled around the air; even my legs and pubes had shed their fuzzy coating leaving me with perfectly smooth reddish skin.

“Good, now I need you to be still and let me do the next part.” She held up one of the white strappy things and turned it around a few times for me to see. “As you can see this is a leg binder, this will keep you immobile as your legs strengthen and twist reducing the risk of injury you would pose at that stage. You will still be able to twist and bend your knees as well as wiggle your feet. So in no way will it make you completely helpless. I have to put it on first because it would otherwise interfere with the rest of your gear. It is also crotchless, but be assured that this is has nothing to do with sexual activity, I made it this way solely to make cleaning you easier.”

It was a very strange feeling as she slid the individual parts up my legs. My skin was overly sensitive and with the tightness of the two stockings, it felt almost as if two very soft snakes were eating my legs. There also was an entire harness that came with it. Apparently, it was made of some kind of space-age material that was both elastic and super strong. I could barely focus on any of that as all that I noticed was how oddly comfortable the buckles and straps closing around me felt. It was almost as if someone was tightly hugging my entire lower body. When she was finished I wiggled my toes and shimmied around for a bit to get a feeling for it all.

“How does it feel?” Aliana asked me. “Anything too tight or perhaps to lose?”

“Ah, no. It just… it feels strange. Like a second skin but also like a safe comforting hug. Is the rest going to be also like this?”

“It’s good that you overcame your fear of the restrains. Well, they will be mostly like it. Thanks to your recent hair loss I won't have to shave you but to answer your question, there are more medical sides to the jacket and the… last part.”

“Oh… okay.” I did notice that she was uncomfortable but I knew that she wouldn’t hurt me, right? No, she wouldn’t. Aliana and I were blood, I could trust her. “Okay, I am ready to put on the jacket.”

The next few minutes were very similar to the last few. Aliana explained the purpose and design of the equipment before slowly easing me into it. The biggest difference where the sensors for the EKG semi-permanently attached to my skin, they fed directly to the tech inside the straight jacket and let Ace see immediately if something was wrong. She had also placed a sensor cap onto my head that apparently would read my brainwaves or something. The actually weird part came only when Aliana strapped my arms around me in a hugging-like fashion. With the general tightness of the jacket, I could barely move my limbs before they were already forced back into position. It was certainly unnerving but with my sister's calming words and explanations I was a lot less scared and soon enough managed to relax somewhat.

“You are being a very good girl right now, Tanya.” I gave her a confused look at that comment, her dommy-side must have been stimulated by this whole ordeal a lot more than I had initially thought. But I let it slide, as long as she wasn’t going to start treating me differently I didn’t see a problem with any of this.

“Okay, so what comes now?” I quickly changed the subject. “As far as I can see I am all snugly wrapped up, like a Christmas present really.”

This time there was no mistaking the look on my sister’s face. The cheeks were red and she clearly avoided looking me in the eyes.

“Ali, what is the last piece?!”

“Please Tanya, believe me when I say that this wasn’t initially part of the plan. But with the things Ace told me about how you reacted to the smell on my jacket, it is literally the only solution we have right now. So, uhm, please keep an open mind?”

The thing she got pulled out of the bag was very clearly not medical of nature, in fact, it looked to me a lot like a black rubber gas mask with… was that a gag attached to the inside of it!?

“Oh for the hell of it, you definitely got that from a fetish shop. But putting that aside… you think it will actually stop me from smelling?”

“I… yes actually. I made sure to put in chemical filters and checked if it sealed completely. So, yes. But believe me, this is the only fetish item that will ever come near you!”

“Alright, fine. I trust you, Ali. Strap it on.”

“Thank you, Tanya. Believe me, I will see you through this.”

Soon enough the tight rubber stretched around my head and face, dark lenses and black latex entirely obscuring my face behind it. Then all of a sudden and without warning my teeth clicked into some before unseen rail, leaving me unable to properly close my jaw. Before I could even protest it, the gag in my mouth inflated to double its original size, cutting off my ability to talk entirely. My eyes must have clearly conveyed my horror but apparently, Aliana didn’t notice it through the mask’s reflective glasses. Or which it now dawned on me, she was actually enjoining my muffled grunts of terror. It all became clear to me when she leaned in to give me a very inappropriately tight hug. Her hands caressed the now smooth surface of my head and despite the thick latex covering my ears, I could hear her whisper in glee.

“Good Girl. I won’t lose you again, not ever again. Never ever.”

I would have liked to yell at her or even punch her, but all I could do was mumble and think to myself: ‘Fuck. What the hell did I get myself into here!?’