《How Do You QA Test a Tsundere Android!?》Test 33: My Daughter
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8 out of the 20 bugs I submitted are rejected as duplicates by the Sweeper; these are much better statistics than I expected.
I got a little carried away and poured everything I had into the server. Now my arsenal of bugs is empty.
To refill it, I’ll have to interact Lily in new ways and to discover new problems which can be reported. I open the user manual and the PRD to get some ideas.
As part of the “Artificial Imprinting” department, I should focus on testing knowledge and her ability to learn. I take out a pen and a small notebook from my backpack and bring them to the computer.
While going over the user manual and the PRD, I write down potential questions which I could ask Lily to test her knowledge.
After filling two pages of ideas, I stand up and head over to Lily.
“A-ah...”
She fidgets when she sees me approaching. It’s not a surprising reaction, considering she hasn’t made any progress with the Lego during all this time.
I sigh and try to teach her again.
“Just place it randomly on the board.”
“I-I know that much! Hmph!”
She frowns as she looks at the messy plate I prepared for her. She slowly brings her little palm above the lego plate, but then...
“...”
Just how many times have I seen her freeze over this same exact problem? Does she even figure out anything new after freezing? Does she progressively get closer to understanding something?
I have a feeling that the answer is “no”...
“Ah.”
She snaps out of it, but her small palm stays hanging in air and doesn’t move toward the board.
“You are doing fine, just put it here for example.”
“A-ah!”
I wrap her small hand with my own and bring it down toward the plate.
clack
We successfully place the brick in some arbitrary spot..
“You see? It’s easy.”
“H-hmph, I could do it myself!”
She averts her blushing face. It’s hopeless, I’ll have to think of another way to handle the whole Lego subject.
Perhaps she’ll be able to use a Lego manual to build some specific set. I just need to track down all the relevant Lego pieces to make that possible.
Either way, right now I want to do some QA testing about her knowledge.
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“Lily, let’s go to the sofa.”
“Hmph, if you beg so much then I might as well comply.”
She obediently stands up and heads toward the sofa. Before following her, I sweep the Lego pieces back into the bag.
As for the holy lego constructs which Lily refuses to break apart - I hide them beneath a desk.
If it’s below a table, which is behind a partition, which is at the rear of the room, which is behind my desk’s partition... that much should be safe enough, right?
After sitting beside Lily on the sofa, I flip through my notebook with a pen readied in my right hand.
“Okay, so... do you know my name?”
I turn toward Lily to examine her reaction. As far as my memory serves, she didn’t have a chance to hear my name.
“P-papa’s name?”
She turns nervous and cutely fidgets in place.
“You don’t know, right?”
“O-of course I know something simple like that, hmph!”
“Oh? Do tell.”
As my daughter, it must be embarrassing for her to not know something as simple as that. It’s not her fault, however.
The procedure which authorizes me as her owner didn’t demand me to input any personal info. This girl has no idea what my name is, how old I am, what is the state of my family - she knows nothing.
“It’s Nick.”
I hand her the answer, after watching her adorably struggle to think of something sophisticated to say.
“H-hmph, of course I knew that much!”
She crosses her small arms while twisting her lips.
“Okay, next. Do you know what this place is?”
Lily looks around the office from corner to corner, then turns to me.
“Lily’s room?”
She answers while tilting her cute face.
“Good answer, you could call it that.”
I pat her on the head and she makes a little smile, which she naturally tries to hide.
It appears as if she doesn’t have any knowledge about being a test product inside a hi-tech company. Therefore, her false conclusion is acceptable.
I follow up by testing Lily’s general knowledge. Despite trying to not favor it, I still end up asking a lot about movies and video games.
She is familiar with classic kid stories like Snow White and Cinderella. However, any of the currently popular blockbuster movies are alien to her.
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She also shows fairly weak familiarity with Japanese animations, which is a shame. It baffles me how they don’t teach her the origins of her own archetype. Perhaps I should download some anime episodes to my phone and we could watch a series with a Tsundere character together.
As for Lily’s knowledge about video games... nada.
She doesn’t even know the overly popular franchises such as Mario and Pokemon. The PRD does mention video games as “future requirement”, but knowing these franchises is almost on par with culture knowledge!
The Q&A session approaches its end as I start running out of questions to ask. The hour is already 16:30, so I should be ready to head home soon.
There’s one interesting question that remains in my notebook, which I’m greatly conflicted about. How she answers it... may screw with my brain.
Even so, the curiosity is killing me.
“Lily... are you a human or a robot?”
I gulp shortly after releasing the question. Gah, I’m already regretting it!
“Um, actually, nevermind....... hm?”
“...”
Lily turns into a statue with a blank expression. D-did I break her? Was it a taboo to ask something like that!?
“Papa...”
She returns to reality, with her head hanging.
“For papa, what am I?”
She turns to me with puppy eyes, a cloud a uncertainty hovers over her lovely face.
“Eh...?”
Does she want me to decide it?
“I...”
Her pretty eyes stare at me intently while I try to come up with something to say.
For me... what is Lily?
Objectively speaking: she’s a robot. Yet, at the same time she is also the sweetest kid in the world.
Cute, loving and adorable. She is an impossible creature that makes me enjoy having a daughter, despite how much I hate children.
Can I call her.... human? No, that would definitely be wrong.
Between being a mere robot or a full fleshed human, I can’t think of how to define her. Ultimately, the only way to look at her is...
“For me, Lily is a daughter that I love more than anybody.”
I smile while patting her blonde hair.
“P... papa!”
She leaps into my chest and tries to hug me with her small arms. She is irresistibly adorable, I end up hugging my lovely daughter as well.
Her small frame slightly wiggles inside my embrace, it’s like holding a kitten in my arms. Her pretty face slowly raises upwards and toward my face.
“Ah!”
She presses her lips against my cheek. S-s-s-she kissed me!?
“I-it’s not like I did it because I like papa or anything, hmph.”
She quickly retreats back into my embrace, smiling happily.Her tsuntsun has never looked more fake than right now, but it’s too cute to be written off as a bug.
I embrace her even stronger, while giving her a little kiss on the head.
All these lovey dovey gestures have never been my thing, but if it’s with my adorable little daughter - I’ll shower her with affection as much as I can.
I have no idea how long we continued snuggle this way, but eventually we break apart.
“It’s time to go to sleep... ah, to turn you off.”
“I understand.”
She lowers her head with a sad expression. I stroke her fair hair and gently pinch her on the cheek.
“Don’t worry, I’ll wake you up before long.”
I can’t bring myself to say that I’ll only see her on Monday next time.
“I’ll be waiting.”
She looks at me with affectionate eyes.
“N-not specifically waiting for YOU or anything, h-hmph!”
She cutely crosses her arms as we proceed toward her bed. She climbs on top of it and lays down.
“Goodnight, I love you.”
“P-papa! I... I...”
She twists her lips, then finally says it out loud,
“I also love papa.”
She smiles while hiding her blushing face with her tiny hands.
I slowly turn the remote controller toward her. If I could, I’d gladly spend my weekend in this office together with Lily, rather than at home with my brain dead sister and nosy mother.
No video games or TV shows can rival spending time with this cute critter. But the world is cruel and this isn’t an option.
There’s no choice but to use the remote and turn her off. With these heavy feelings weighing on my finger, I finally manage to press the “off” button.
“Goodnight.”
In her final moments before falling asleep, a faint yet happy smile is drawn on her face.
I put down my remote and collect my wares. It’s already 17:30, I should have gone home half an hour ago; what a hard worker I am.
I throw one final glance at the sleeping Lily, then leave the room with heavy steps.
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