《The Crimson Mage》Chapter 44 - The End
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Orenda gathered up everything that she thought she would need and wondered where she should go. She did not want to admit that she would have to charter a ship, or think of how she would do that. She had no money, and no desire to set foot on the open sea. She had never even returned to the bathhouse after she had nearly drowned. Fire elves had been limited by the water that covered most of the planet, and she knew that it would weaken her. She dreaded the feeling. She had been miserable since she moved to a seaside city.
But she had survived. She had survived, and she had learned to channel magic even on days when the winds brought in the moist air from the sea. And Captain Nochdifache lived on the ocean. It was a hurdle, but it was one that could be overcome. She could do it. She had done the impossible before. She had stared down a demon only a few hours earlier and escaped with her life.
She packed her precious book, her staff, her extra earrings, and a change of clothes. It was all she would really need, in the long run. As she looked into the open wardrobe, she pulled out the package- old now, and worn around the edges, but as she lifted the top and looked in at the sari, it was still beautiful. It was bright red, silky, and had never been worn. It had been a gift from her family, and there was no way she would leave it. She sat it on top of her change of clothes, tied the sheet around them all, clutched the necklace where it fell under her robes, and glanced around the room one last time.
Everything was going to be alright. It had to be. Everything was either alright, or she would be dead. Those were, really, when boiled down to the bear essentials, the only two possibilities for the future.
She didn’t even have a water skien anymore. But she was a skilled mage. She had intelligence, well earned over the years, and that had to be enough. She would make it enough.
She waited until the moons rose high into the night sky and stared up at them in contemplation. One was white and the other silver, as they always were. Astronomers swore that they moved in sync around the planet, that all of Xren was hurling through an endless void at a breakneck speed, and everyone on it looked up at the sky and saw those moons. They were united in the fact that though the world was vast, it was nothing to the moons. The moons did not care about them at all. The universe did not care about them. But Thesis had created the elves, and he cared about each and every one of them.
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Looking up at the night sky, Orenda was not sure that she believed there was anyone looking out for her. She didn’t know if there ever had been. It was possible that she was alone, that she had always been alone, and that she would always be alone. It was possible that she had no one to look out for her but herself, and she must guard herself well. The astronomers said that one of the moons was made of rock, and the other of sterilite, and that it could mean a great many things, that their position at the time of one’s birth had a special deep significance. Orenda did not believe this. She did not believe that the moons or stars knew anything about her.
Felaern would be asleep by now, but she would be quiet. She took her steps lightly, never resting her weight upon a new one until she was sure it would support it without creaking. She slid the doors of the dining room open with caution and did not close them. The door to his room was open, just a little, but she did not look inside. She told herself this was because she didn’t care- but in reality, it was because she cared a great deal.
She opened the door of their apartments silently, stepped through into the headmaster’s office, and closed the door on that life forever.
It felt strange. She thought it would feel lighter, but it didn’t. It didn’t feel real, this idea that she was leaving forever, that she would never be back, that she would not see him in the morning for breakfast. She knew this, in her mind, but in her heart it was as if she were making up another story, telling herself another tale that could not possibly be real. There was no finality to it. It was not like watching a death. It was an overpowering nothing, an overpowering normality, and she didn’t know how to feel about it, so she ignored it and walked swiftly through the office.
She paused, retreated, and knew she was risking a great deal as she grabbed a blank sheet of paper and the quill from his desk and began to write.
Felaern,
Thank you for fighting back the demon.
You must know that it would have never worked out. I have decided not to stay for the graduation ceremony. I feel that my future lies outside academia. It would, perhaps, do you well to forget that you ever met me. Find a new project to assuage your guilt. Do not come looking for me. I have gone to find myself.
I wish you the best in your endeavors, you strange old fool,
Last of the Fire Elves and First of the Fire Mages
Princess Orenda Nochdifache
She could not have told anyone why she wrote this. She wanted to think that she needed to leave something, some indication that she had left of her own free will and should not be followed. But that was not the case. She planned to be on the sea by sunrise, and would not be found. She knew, on some level, that she thought he deserved closure. Though she knew, on another level, that no one deserves anything.
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She threw up the hood of her robes and walked swiftly from the office, then down the hall, taking the stairs that the humans used, down empty back halls and eventually came out into the kitchen. She pressed her hand to the door and hesitated.
This felt real.
This was the feeling she had expected in Felaern’s office.
She jumped at the sound of a voice.
“You can’t just walk out, Rendy,” Bubbider said, “The guards will see you.”
“This way was the closest to your house,” Orenda explained, “I was not going to leave without saying goodbye.”
“It isn’t goodbye,” Bubbider stepped from the table where she was standing, and Orenda realized that she must have been sleeping under it. She had waited here for her until exhaustion had overtaken her.
“Bubbi,” Orenda said, “There is a possibility that it may all go horribly wrong tomorrow. I like to plan for the worst. It’s kept me alive.”
“Everything will go horribly wrong tomorrow,” Bubbider agreed. “It’s all a matter of perspective. Tomorrow will go horribly wrong for the nobility. For the Urillians.”
Orenda nodded.
“I’m going to the safehouse on the docks,” Orenda told her, “I’m going to track down Captain Nochdifache. Felaern once told me of an artifact the fire elves had, that the Emerald Knight had tried to claim and been denied. If I have it, I think I can defeat him.”
“That sounds like a solid plan,” Bubbider said, “Keep your head above water. You’re strong, Rendy. We all are. Everything is going to be fine.”
“I wish I could be here to see it.” Orenda felt her eyes misting up, and wiped them on her sleeve.
“I’ll tell you all about it,” Bubbider promised. “Walk with me. I’ll lead you out through the laundry room.”
Orenda fell into step beside her easily, but could think of nothing to talk about.
“Did I ever tell you,” she eventually asked, “How beautiful I thought you were? I suppose it doesn’t matter, in the long run, but as we were walking I just realized that perhaps no one had ever told you. I feel that beautiful people should be told. That is, I feel like people should know how others see them.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Bubbider agreed, “And I’m not sure either of us are well versed in beauty.”
“I don’t think there’s much to know on the subject,” Orenda shrugged.
“Thank you, though,” Bubbider said softly, “I… am not often told that. It isn’t exactly the position I’m in, and humans are really only ever judged by their positions.”
“You do well in your position,” Orenda told him, “The Knights are lucky to have you. I was lucky to have you. I don’t know what would have become of me.”
“The Knights are lucky to have you as well, Rendy,” Bubbider stood among the empty washtubs and stared through the columns at the moons. “We’re all lucky, I suppose,” she said, “because we’re all alive. We have the potential to change everything. I can feel the change in the air. After tomorrow, one way or another, everything will be different.”
“Scry me,” Orenda told her, “As soon as it is safe. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”
“Of course,” She said, and let her gaze drift back down to Orenda. “I will always consider you one of my most valuable friends. A little distance could never change that.”
Orenda threw her arms around her, and both of them squeezed so tightly that the other could not draw breath.
“I’ll see you later, Rendy,” Bubbider said into her long ear, “Everything will be alright. Find your pirate and your artifact. I will find my place as a soldier. I imagine I’ll like it better than a kitchen slave.”
Orenda giggled and wiped her eyes on her sleeve as she pulled away.
“I want you to have this,” Orenda reached into her belt and pulled away her training staff, then held it out to Bubbider, “You deserve a proper focus.”
“Oh,” Bubbider took it slowly, and Orenda saw a change in the way magic flowed over her as she held it, “Oh.” She repeated, “Rendy it’s… it’s so much easier. I didn’t realize how much easier it flowed. Thank you, Rendy.”
“Until we meet again,” Orenda smiled through her tears, “I will think of you often. We will fight together.”
Bubbider waved as Orenda made her way silently through the empty yard to the fence, and watched as she reached for the top of a post. Orenda no longer had to climb to reach it, she simply wrapped her hand around it and felt the metal melt. She bent to do the same thing to the bottom, stepped through the opening she had created and stared at the post. She considered setting it back into place, but what would be the point? Quiroris already knew she was leaving. Instead she tossed it onto the ground and walked away.
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