“I can't stand up,” Orenda clutched Tolith as she tried to step into the washtub, “I... Toli, I'm going to pass out.”

She had barely managed to speak the words before the world around her began to blur and her legs gave out. She heard him yelp and knew that her muscles had refused to support her, but he managed to guide her down and into the washtub.

“Rendy!?” he asked in a panic, and she wanted to tell him that she was alive, but could not find the strength. Oh how she hated the sea! Once she had accomplished her goal she would never set foot on it again!

She felt him splashing the water over her and wondered what the hell he was doing or why he thought that could possibly help.

“Adam!” He yelled, and when he got no response she heard the sound of his footfalls, and a door opening and closing, and when she realized she was alone the panic began to set in.

The room he had brought her to was more open than the bedrooms, and she thought it was probably used for storage. She imagined that most of the crew bathed in the ocean rather than in a washtub and they had no room set aside for bathing. He had been improvising for her, and now she was alone, and her body was so weak that it would not obey her.

She was, she reminded herself, sitting in water and floating in water, but not underwater. She had to concentrate on drawing breath, and once she had that down, she could work on opening her eyes. But she never quite managed to get to that step. Her entire body felt the weight now, of the magic, and it was crushing her. She considered very seriously drifting off to sleep, but she feared that if she did, she would never awaken.

“What's wrong with her?” it was the light, piping voice of Anilla.

“I was... she just wanted to get clean!” Tolith swore, “I don't know how to...”

“Orenda?” Anilla asked, “Are you asleep?”

Orenda tried to answer her, but found she could not.

“You should wash her off and get her out,” Anilla suggested, “It probably isn't good for her to be in water like that. It seems to weaken her so much...”

“I should wash her...” Tolith said as if the idea thrilled him and he was trying to hide that fact, but had not succeeded.

“I mean,” Anilla said, “You shouldn't stand around talking about it. I think time is important here. How did you both get so covered in soot anyway?”

Orenda heard splashing, and then felt the weight of a rag moving across her body. She seriously considered, once she had her strength back, that she may just kill Toli and be done with it. His company did not seem to be worth the price.

“I've got this,” he said, “it's... probably rude to have you in here.”

Orenda found that this bought of common sense among the rest of his stupidity made her even more angry than had the stupidity been consistent.

“I think I'll make dinner,” Anilla said, “It's getting late in the day.”

Orenda did not hear her leave, likely because she was so light, but she did hear the door open and close. She wished that Toli was as strong as he claimed to be when she felt him lifting her from the washtub, and the moment she was out of the water, it was as if a weight had been lifted, and she drew her first deep breath, jerked open her eyes, and found that she was lying on a towel in the storage room.

“Tolith,” She said through clenched teeth.

“Oh thank god,” he said, “you were breathing but you-”

“I could hear you!” She snapped, “Don't... don't bring others- strangers!- in to gawk at me in-”

“I was scared!” He cut her off, “Anilla is a mage, too! I mean... not the same way we are, but among her people, and I couldn't get Adam to come down from the crow's nest, and I was trying to move quickly- I'm sorry, Rendy, I got scared.”

“I hate the sea!” Orenda sat up and rolled herself in the towel as best she could, “Hurry up, I need you to lean on so I can return to my room and get dressed!”

“Yeah,” he said, “I'm gonna use this same water.” He said this as if it wasn't obvious, when it very clearly was, because he was sitting in it.

“Toli,” She said as he scrubbed himself, “I'm sorry I've been so ill. I know it's frightening you.”

“It's scaring the shit out of me,” he said, “I keep thinking you're dead. Maybe you should go back to Anilla's room and lie down. I'll get Steve to help me shovel the ash out and break down that bed... we'll scrub it clean and put down a new blanket, and then you can bunk with me.”

“I... suppose I could,” she said, “I hadn't really thought about it.”

“I've thought about it a lot,” he said, scooped up a bucket of the gray water from the tub and dumped it over his head, “I've... I've wanted to sleep next to you, for a long time.”

“Why?” She asked, because that seemed a strange thing to fixate on. They couldn't possibly get any closer, physically, than they already had.

“I don't like sleeping alone,” he said, “I just... I don't know. I would like it.”

“I love sleeping alone,” Orenda said, “I never really got a place of my own at the workhouse. That was the only good thing about living with Felaern.”

“You don't have to,” he said, standing from the tub and taking the other towel he had brought with them. He dried himself quickly, then wrapped it around his waist. “I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry.”

“It's probably safer,” Orenda considered, “Since I've been feeling so ill. I think I would like to sleep next to you, in particular. You've been taking care of me, Toli. I appreciate it. I want you to know that.”

“I like taking care of you,” he said, “I mean, I wish you weren't sick, but I'd like to take care of you in other ways. I want to... I don't know, buy you things.”

“I don't really need anything,” she said, “And I don't have any money to buy you anything in return. I don't think I would like that. I've never really liked expensive gifts. It's an awkward social convention that makes me feel indebted.”

“What do you like, then?” he asked as he helped her to her feet.

“I like...” she considered, “well-cooked meals or snacks, like gingerbread cookies cut into shapes and warmed together. I like dancing, though I know you don't care much for it. I suppose I don't have a very long list, Toli, I'm sorry. I've never spent much time thinking of what I like from other people. I've often not had anyone whom I wanted anything from.”

“I don't like to dance because I'm bad at it,” he said. “I feel like I'm making it worse for the person I'm dancing with.”

“I liked the sex,” she said, “perhaps for the same reason I like to dance. I think I like to do things more than I like to get things.”

“Yeah?” he asked, “We can do whatever you like, whenever you like.”

She leaned heavily on him as they made their way to Anilla's room, where she sat on the hammock as he unpacked her sheet to retrieve her change of clothes.

“What a hefty book,” he said as he set it aside to hand her her underthings.

“Yes,” She said as she slid the bloomers up and tied them off, “I suppose you've never seen that. It talks of the culture of the fire elves. There's no author, but I suspect Ellie- that is, Ms Venris- put it together. She seemed to have studied the fire elves pretty extensively. She was interested in precolonial history.”

“She seemed like a good person,” Tolith said, “I wish I could have met her. I'd like to hear more about her.”

He stood and carried the rest of the clothes to her.

“Can you get dressed on your own?” he asked, “I'm going to start cleaning up so that we can have somewhere to sleep tonight.”

“I'm not an invalid, Toli,” she rolled her eyes.

“Oh... sorry,” he said.

“I just mean that I'm fine,” She explained, “You can dote over me all you like, but I'm sure I can get dressed. I just can't wait to get off the infernal sea.”

“If you give it a couple of days,” he promised, “I think you'll feel better.”

He kissed her between the eyes and left the room with a spring in his step, and she desperately hoped that he was going to get dressed before he began cleaning, but he seemed to have lost all sense of modesty, so she could not take that as a given.

She didn't put her stockings on because she had left her boots in Toli's room and wouldn't be at all shocked if they had been incinerated, but she stood and kept one hand to the wall to steady herself as she made her way, slowly and with great care, to the kitchen. It had gotten a little easier- she could see clearly now at least, but she didn't know what she was going to do about bathing if stepping into water threw her back to the most terrible parts of the sickness. And Orenda had never been the type of person who could go without cleaning herself.

“Orenda!” Anilla said chipperly as she entered the kitchen. She had pushed one of the wooden boxes to be near the stove and stood over it stirring a wok with large chopsticks. “I don't know what sort of food you like, but I'm trying to make something bland, to settle your stomach, so I've got rice boiling, and I'm just going to throw some vegetables in with it. Is that alright?”

“I'm actually not overly fond of plain food,” Orenda pushed off the wall and caught herself on the counter, “But I'm starving. I'll take whatever's put in front of me. I appreciate you thinking of me.”

“I thought maybe you were getting better,” Anilla said, “because I felt a big burst of energy from you, like you had cast some magic. I thought if you felt well enough to cast, you must be feeling better.”

“I hadn't meant to do that,” Orenda explained, “And I scarred Toli. It wasn't... something I'm as proud of as he is.”

“I like Tolith,” Anilla said simply.

“Do you?” Orenda asked, “I mean, do you have any kind of romantic interest?”

“I don't really understand romance,” Anilla said, “In my culture we do have pair-bonds, but they aren't as serious as they are for elves. They aren't expected to be for life or anything. I didn't know what a marriage was until I began to travel. I think elves do that because it's so hard for them to have children, so they need someone that they can keep trying with. It's really easy for us to have children! We have the Eishtar festival, the fertility festival? Almost everyone gets pregnant.”

“Lovely,” Orenda said.

“The children are raised communally, like dragons,” Anilla continued, “So you don't need to stay with your partner. I think it's a better system. The whole village acts as parents. It really takes a village to raise a child. It's better to have more adults who love and watch out for you. Two people is... so few.”

“I could see that,” Orenda said, “It sounds lovely. I think... not having enough people to care for them has harmed a lot of children. You may be onto something.”

“Are you trying to get pregnant?” Anilla asked her.

“What? No! Why... what would give you that impression?” Orenda asked.

“Oh. I thought that's what the elven pair-bonding was for. Are you in love, then?” She asked.

“No!” Orenda began, and was going to say more, but Toli came into the room, fully dressed for once, pulling his hair back to tie off with a ribbon.

“It singed my hair all along the sides,” he said, “It actually looks pretty cool when I pull it up, now that I've combed it out.” He kissed her on the cheek and asked, “Are you feeling any better?”

“I'm fine,” she said, trying to hide her annoyance.

“I'm gonna try to get that cleaning done,” he said, tying his hair off into a bun at the very top of his head. “You just rest and try to feel better, ok?”

“Toli, I'm fine,” Orenda found it getting more difficult to hide her annoyance, “See if you can find my shoes while you're cleaning.”

“Absolutely!” he giggled and jogged up the stairs calling, “Steve!”