“We’ve got loads of guest rooms!” Gareth proclaimed as he stumbled down the hall, leaning on his good hand, “We do often have guests.”

“I heard,” Orenda said, “That you would attack slave ships and free the people there.”

“Yes,” Gareth smiled, “When I can. We take them north, most of the time. Xandra hasn’t got her claws into that place yet. There’ll be hell to pay when she actually does.”

“What’s up there, Gareth?” Orenda clutched Toli’s hand tighter. He still radiated anger, and she knew that if he wanted to jump Gareth, down here, while they were alone, would be the best place to do it.

“I can only tell you what they told me,” Gareth slurred, “And Ronnie… Ronnie looked through things with a lense. He was going to be a high priest. He thought everything was a goddamn sign, just like a good little puppet. He wanted something to believe in so badly.”

“You’re saying that a fire elf led an expedition to the frozen north?” Tolith asked, skeptically.

“What?” Gareth asked as if that was ridiculous, “No! That’s stupid, god you nobles are so inbred you can barely stand up-”

“I’m not inbred,” Tolith protested.

“Ronnie couldn’t lead his way out of a bag,” Gareth went on, ignoring him, “Xac was the one who got those directions. Whatever happened to him in the Kabaal really fucked him up. He doesn’t really talk about it much. But he’s the one who knew where to find Morgani Magnus.”

“Morgani Magnus?” Tolith obviously didn’t believe a word of it, “Is in the frozen north?”

“I’ve seen him,” Orenda said, “I meant to tell you that, Toli, but I got distracted by your… tragedy.”

“Wait, are we using ‘tragedy’ as code for my dick?” He asked in a tone that said he was determined to be contrary, “I don’t like that. That’s really insulting.”

“No,” Orenda snapped, “I meant the literal tragedy, your parents? That we had a long talk about? Honestly, Toli.” She understood why he was upset, but she was growing short on patience, and the general tension in the air was killing her.

“A real captain would have stayed on his ship,” Gareth said.

“Wait,” Toli said, “You’re saying that a human led an expedition into the frozen north? Where even well prepared elven expeditions have failed?”

“Humans live there, Glenlen,” Gareth stopped walking to stare at him, his golden eyes glowing in his mangled face, “They really indoctrinated you, didn’t they? That shit is programmed deep.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“Yes,” Gareth cut him off, “You did.” As he opened a door he spoke again, to himself, as if he was talking to someone else. “She’s too good for him.”

Tolith apparently had nothing to say to this, and averted his eyes as he walked into the room.

“Gareth,” Orenda paused in the doorway, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Rendy,” he said, with a sincere happiness in his eyes behind the alcoholic haze, “I’m so glad you’re home. But… I’m worried. I don’t like both of us in the same place like this. Not with them chasing us. I’m… I’m afraid,” he admitted, “I’m afraid we may really… be the last of us.”

She reached up to hug him, and he clutched her so tightly it hurt.

“Goodnight,” Orenda said, “Uncle Gareth.”

She slowly closed the door, leaned against it, and listened to him moving off down the hall.

The room was larger than Tolith’s on the Recovery, but not by much. It also had a larger bed, so the overall effect was very similar. Tolith was sitting on the bed, staring at Orenda with sorrow in his eyes.

“That… that story, the one you asked Bella and Falsie about, at dinner,” he said, “It doesn’t seem real, Rendy. That’s not the sort of thing that happens to real people.”

“Real people don’t get their ears blown off by pirates,” Orenda said as she took out her earrings and set them on the desk, before taking off the tiara and setting it around them. She turned to him as she unclasped her necklace. “I know he seems mad, but… what if it’s true? What if that’s why I could receive your scry so easily?”

“See? That right there is why this shit is dangerous! Please don’t try to cast earth magic, Rendy! It could kill you!” Tolith begged.

“I don’t plan to,” Orenda said, “Help me out of this dress. I don’t have any night things. I suppose I’ll sleep in my underthings.”

Tolith stood and began unlacing the dress.

“He really does have a fucked-up face,” he said slowly.

“He really is missing a hand,” Orenda said.

“After all this time,” He slid his hand down her back, “You really are royalty.”

“No,” Orenda shook her head, “I’m not. Not if this story is true. I’m the child of two fools, a soldier and a pirate, who tried and failed to overthrow an empire. They weren’t important. Garon was ten when his kingdom was destroyed, he never even got to really enter the priesthood, and they have to take a test, it isn’t genetic. Sokomaur was a normal soldier who is, in the records, considered missing in action, which Felaern says is as good as dead. They were never important. I’ll never see a painting of them.”

“Important parents are overrated,” Tolith said as he helped her pull her dress over her head.

“I’m exhausted,” Orenda said as she took it from him and draped it over the chair.

“I found your shoes,” he said, “I was going to tell you that, but then the pirates attacked.” He blinked as if processing what he had just said and added, “God damn my life is awesome!”

“I wish I had your zest,” Orenda told him as she threw back the blankets and climbed into bed.

Tolith extinguished the lamp, and she watched him in the dimness of the room as he sat on his side of the bed to take off his boots. He stripped completely, taking his time with it, and staring out the porthole at the moons drifting through the night sky. He waited until he climbed back into the bed to speak.

“Do you think I’m a bad person?”

“I… Toli why are we talking about this?” Orenda asked.

“Because I… I talked about it before, and Gareth can see it. It’s in me. My parents put it there. Is that why I love them, love my dad? Even though he really was… he was a real Urillian, through and through. He would hate me, Rendy, for what I’ve done. For helping with the rebellion, for joining the Knights. If he was alive he would hate me.”

“Toli,” she rolled over and looked at him, sitting there, silhouetted against the moonlight, “Everyone deserves a second chance. You don’t have to… even if you feel it inside you, you don’t have to give into it. If my mother was an earth elf, she was a soldier who… to be a Urillain soldier, to decide to travel to a foreign land and attack them- that was something she did. She deserted on a battlefield on the fire continent. She came there, it seems, fully intending to fight and kill fire elves. But she changed. People can change. The Knights of Order are a testament to that. It’s good to realize that you were wrong and to become a new person, if you don’t like who you were.”

“Will it always be inside me,” he asked, “do you think?”

“I don’t know,” Orenda said, “But this has always been inside you, the person you are now. You told me, once, that you believed that some people were born with certain destinies. I never believed that, but you did, and, ironically, I think that allowed you to change, to go against your destiny. You were supposed to be a stuffy nobleman married to a dignified soldier’s daughter with an heir and a spare to take over your viscount position after your boring life came to an end. You decided to be a Knight.”

“Thanks, Rendy,” he said. After a beat he added, “Gareth doesn’t think you should fight the Emerald Knight.”

“No,” Orenda agreed, “He doesn’t. That’s how my father died, and my grandparents. The Emerald Knight killed them all. Gareth thinks we should spend the rest of our lives running. But… I’ve spent much of life running from place to place, hiding in shadows, keeping my head down, listening to other people- sometimes people I didn’t even know, things that came through the grapevine. But this… this was my plan. All the Knights told me to do was to stay alive. But I can do this. I can get the staff, and I can slay the Emerald Knight.”

“Rendy, I… I don’t doubt you,” he said and began to play with her hair, “But I… he is a legend, a monster. Maybe Gareth is right. Sometimes I think we should just… you and I, that is, we could… we could go anywhere we wanted. We could be happy, sailing the sea.”

“I’m miserable on the sea, Tolith,” She said.

“You don’t have to be! You can find out what Gareth’s done to this ship, and you could replicate it. You’re a better mage than he is.”

“I’m not well, Toli, the effect is only lessoned. I’m still ill, right now, I’m just not complaining as much about it because it isn’t knocking me off my feet. And I don’t know what you’re basing that on,” Orenda said, “That I’m a better mage. There’s no reason to think that.”

“I know you are,” he argued.

“Tolith,” Orenda sighed, “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life sailing around aimlessly, adventuring with you. I don’t want a life with you. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know why I keep forgetting that,” he said.

Orenda snuggled into the pillows and thought that without the intense sickness that accompanied it, the gentle rolling of the sea could actually be quite comforting.

“I think I could forgive him,” Tolith said after some time, “Nochdifache. I think I could forgive him. I… understand where he’s coming from. That’s what hurts so badly, Rendy. There’s no reason for me to be this angry.”

“You have a reason to be angry,” Orenda told him, “So does Gareth. Neither of you are wrong, so it… it makes it difficult.”

“He loves you,” Tolith said, “He shot me with that gun because he loves you, because he doesn’t believe that I do, or… doesn’t think it’s good enough.”

“I’m sorry, Toli,” Orenda said, because that was true, but there was nothing she could do about it, certainly not now that it had already happened. All she could really do was say, ‘I wish that hadn’t happened,’ and that would do no good for anyone.

“You don’t think it’s good enough, either,” he said, “My love.”

“What? You know that isn’t what this is. We talked about this.” Orenda was shocked that he would say something like that.

“The reason you can never love me,” Tolith said as if it was a fact, “Is because I have this… this thing inside me.”

“Toli, I’m going to sleep,” Orenda said, “I’m not listening to nonsense. You can keep spouting it if you like, but I won’t pay particular attention.”

“I’m so angry,” he said, and began to cry, “I can’t… I don’t know what to do with it! I want him to… I want him to be wrong! I want to have a reason, somewhere to put these emotions, this energy! I can’t… I can’t just…”

“Wow, it’s actually going to be rather loud,” Orenda pushed herself onto her elbows. “Toli, do you want a frank assessment of the situation?”

“I feel like I really don’t,” he said, “I want… I want you to tell me something that will make me feel better, if we’re being honest? I want some support.”

“I don’t have anything to make you feel better,” Orenda admitted, “I’ve been through quite a lot recently, and as we’ve both dealt with a lot of shit, I think we both need to start looking at things objectively so we don’t wind up dead. Objectively, you have to be prepared for a fight, and you are not prepared for a fight with Gareth any more than I am prepared for a fight with the Emerald Knight. I’m going to go questing for weapons and armor, but you want to go barreling in right now. If you attack Gareth in the shape you’re both in right now, he’ll kill you. He could have killed you on the ship. He could have put that thing between your eyes.”

“I wonder why he didn’t,” Toli thought aloud.

“Because he likes you, I think,” Orenda said, “I imagine he believes in second chances as much as I do. He just knows that you’ll always hate him for what he did to your father, and he doesn’t… can’t blame you. He watched his father die, too, and then he did that to someone else, and it will haunt him until the day he dies. And he doesn’t have much room for more ghosts in that head of his, I imagine. It’s about as full as it can get.”

“If his stories are true, he’s had a fucked up life,” Toli agreed. “I don’t know how much of it is true, though. None of it makes much sense.”

“No,” Orenda admitted, “But it doesn’t have to, if it works out in the end. I don’t really need to look back, now that I know what I’m looking at. I don’t want to see a foolish man who died bragging, or a woman with more pride than sense who couldn’t admit the obvious. I had wanted my parents to be royalty, but… Gareth says foolishness runs in our family. I think maddness probably does, as well. I don’t think it would take much to drive me mad, Toli. I always lived with one foot in a fantasy.”

“God damn,” Toli sighed, “The whole world is fucked up, isn’t it?”

“Maybe not the frozen north,” Orenda said, “but the rest of it is, yes. For our purposes it may as well be the whole world.”

“Sorry I snapped at you,” he said.

“It isn’t really a concern,” Orenda told him, “I have so many things on my mind.” After a few seconds she went on, “I do think my mother had the right idea about the armor. I’m going to try to find Xaxac and ask him to make me an outfit, before I go to find the Emerald Knight. It may not hold up against a sword, but it certainly couldn’t hurt anything.”

“I can’t imagine sterilite rabbit fur is a real thing,” Tolith said.

“I’ve seen it,” Orenda said, “And, again, Toli, I’ve amended my worldview to, ‘well, this might as well happen’. I’ll have to test it, of course, but it may as well exist.”

“Right,” he said with great skepticism. “If you really are half earth elf, do you… do you think I could get you pregnant?”

“Shit,” Orenda said, because this had not occurred to her. “Well I was sick before that, so… I don’t think you have, at any rate. Besides, pregnancy is rare. I think I’m fine. Pull out next time, though. Don’t do that again, now that we know.”

“We don’t know,” he said.

“I wouldn’t like to take any chances,’ Orenda said, “I don’t think I’d like to have children. And even if I did, the timing is off. This is a terrible time.”

“We’d have really pretty kids,” He said, and Orenda thought that perhaps Gareth’s madness was catching. Tolith had been acting strangely since he stepped foot on the ship.

“I’m going to sleep, Toli,” She said, and laid back down to pull the blankets up around her shoulders.

“Yeah,” Toli agreed and threw one arm over her to snuggle into her back. “Rendy thanks for… listening to me. After you said you wouldn’t.”

“Goodnight, Toli,” She said.