I lived long ago.

Truly lived, that is.

It is not like I do not live now. But it, in a way, is behind a glaze of other lives.

No matter how I try, the memories of others pollute what it is like to be the original me.

More so, when I have to do what I did, back then, when I was left with no choice.

I had no special hatred towards the kingdoms agent, but they were the only choice.

I did not want to die.

I wonder why I still do not want to die.

I have seen over five hundred years, been a man, a woman. I have cheated on my one true love more times than I can count. I have had many children. Far more than the first, the one I lost, when I was me.

Am I even me anymore?

Am I merely the vestige of madwoman that is just too stubborn to go?

I have thought this for many years. But when I try to think too hard, when I wonder if my sins would ever justify what I have achieved, when I consider finally dying...

I simply... think of his last wish.

A warm love feels my chest again.

I realise, of course, that I was merely a foolish maiden. One who somehow made it through hell. Who became so in love with the one to save her that she would do anything, in a crazed fury.

A human. Not even a demon. Not even a creature of this world.

And yet... even though I could not love. Even though I should not love. I did.

Who wouldn't?

He changed the world for me.

He betrayed everything, everyone, for me.

He gave up going back for me.

His love. It was so genuine. It may have been pity to start with.

But pity for me. Someone. Something... like me?

And together. We changed everything. Together, we became husband and wife.

Even as a terrible wife that could not have his real child until it was too late. He stayed with me.

So why wouldn't I give everything. Do anything. To preserve what he dreamed of that one day?

That one day, when the whip smashed down on me. When I was about to just give in. When I had lost everything and determined that I truly was just a half. A filthy half.

I wonder if he'd forgive what I'd done.

I didn't even let his true descendent live.

They couldn't understand. I raised them in joy and luxury, and they became spoiled. So much that they would spit on the legacy of what he had made.

I couldn't allow that.

A distant ability of my lineage awakened, and I dominated. I became.

I became my own son. I tore away his psyche, destroyed it. And I became him.

I will never forget the horror I had when I realised what I had done.

For a year after, I was not mentally sound. What kind of mother would be, after that?

I have researched this ability all my life as penance for what I did in that moment.

I cannot take it back.

I would not, in any case. I decided, after my spate of madness, that this would ultimately be the best way, after all.

I simply tried to minimise the damage. I made them blank slates, the other children.

Funnily enough, the ability was the legacy of a princess who was a whore who slept with a human.

I truly was scum. Abandoned scum. Somehow, finding that out at last only strengthened my conviction, though.

No matter what trash I originally was, I was loved. And is that not a miracle?

That should be embraced, no?

Of course, now the pollution is getting to me.

I feel a gentle love for this boy. For that man. Among all the things likely to survive the oppressive weight of my ancient psyche taking over, it is love.

Before, I would have felt merely a duty towards them, as things related to his dream.

The new demons are scum, just like I was. I feel this strongly. They don't care for his legacy.

So, I suppose this love is not a thing that conflicts with my standard goals. It just increases the feelings.

Feelings like this are still a chore, though. They invoke the memories they were created by, of this body raising the children, comforting the man.

Nevertheless, I shall honour them.

Let the attack on the palace come.

They shall know the fury of my five hundred years. The fathomless depths of my dedication. The training from him that I have repeated and honed forever and a day.

They shall rue the day they attacked the kingdom we built with our two hands, joined as one.

I will never stop protecting.

Never.