Episode: 4.6

--- Nico ---

All of the princess’s guards immediately turned on him, aiming their various rifles, though not a one risked firing, lest they risk hitting their beloved princess.

“Jester.” A guard with a particularly large number of medals growled.

“Cedric, it’s been so long. How’s the captain of the guard treating you?” He grinned viciously, even as he continued in a worried tone, “Daddy still putting you in time out?”

“After what you did to my father, I’ve had to assume the role of Captain.” Cedric told him, a fact they both knew he was perfectly aware of.

“Congratulations.” He clapped with a smile. “I mean sure you only got it because of nepotism with your father and all, but hey, that’s how this world works.”

“Enough with the grandstanding Jester.” The princess cut off any further banter, as she glared at him. “What do you want?”

“Well, if I’m being honest, I wasn’t just here to steal the show…” He confessed bashfully, stepping around the princess. That way the only shot the guard captain could take at him would go through her first.

“To spread your infamy to the seven kingdoms?” the princess practically growled.

“That’s nice bonus, but no.” He sighed with a blissful smile, as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, just in case someone tried something stupid.

“Then what else could you want? What does this,” she gestured to the chaos all around them, “possibly get you?!”

“It gets me what I always want my dearest princess…” he gave her a smile full of fangs as he whispered into her ear, “you.”

With that, he shifted his arm around her before throwing the princess over his shoulder and pinning her there with his mechanical left.

The princess’s guard moved to stop him.

Too bad he moved faster.

With a crouch of his cybernetic legs, he leapt over the guards, moving further than any normal human could, before landing in the middle of the mayhem he’d made.

Part of him wanted to join in, to create chaos, to take part in all of the havoc to be had… but he knew his plan was more important, which is why he sprinted through the crowd, knocking aside any who’d try and stand in his path to victory.

As he neared the conference gate he paused just long enough to crouch down and leap over the gate, those guarding it, and those trying to use it as an escape from his mechanical minions.

“Gah!” The princess cried, as the pavement cracked underfoot at their landing. “So, we’re doing this again…”

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that.” He frowned as he began sprinting away from the scene of his sinister crime. “It’s a beautiful day outside, what’s wrong with taking a stroll around town before we leave?”

“Right, a beautiful day, especially since you blocked out the sun and began attacking everyone.”

That brought a smile to his face. “See, you get it!”

“That was sarcasm.” Maybell told him as dry as the dessert, eliciting a mad giggle from her captor.

“I know!”

This fit of laughter continued for a good minute as he ran through the city streets faster than most horses could manage, let alone the mere humans that rushed out of his path, at least until he rounded a corner and caught sight of a police blockade.

“Oh boy!” He skipped a step, and drew to a stop, as he eyed the various police drones manning the scene. “That’s a fair number of bots.”

“Yeah, we’ve been able to really increase the police budget ever since the newest line of Mad Jester toys came out.” The princess idly confessed to her (fucking copyright infringement!)

“I better see a cut of that.” He growled, “My minions have families to feed too, you know!”

Maybell rolled her eyes. “I’ll talk to your secretary.”

“Right, as soon as we get you aboard the ship, you two are sitting down for a very long ‘business meeting’.”

Eyeing the drones, he crouched once more.

(I can make that.)

With that thought, he made another impossible leap, straight towards one of the flying drones, being sure to aim his boots at their internal fuel containers. As he crashed into the drone it exploded with enough force to send him flying into one of its brothers at arms, allowing him to repeat the move and destroy the second and third drones as well, before launching him away from the scene of his latest crime.

(I am fucking badass!)

“Ugh.”

“Oh no.” His adrenaline rush was immediately killed as the princess on his shoulder made a sound he really didn’t like. “Hey, hey, hey, don’t go vomiting on me, this suit is not dry cleaner friendly!”

“Then careful with all the acrobatics!” The princess whined with an off-color complexion. “You know they give me motion sickness!”

(Right, that’s why we can’t do that extreme go karts thing…)

Shaking his head clear of that thought, he glanced at nearby building that was roughly three stories tall. “Well than, let’s take the high road.”

With a leap he shot at the building, before kicking his way up the side and onto the roof.

“Let’s see, let’s see, where do we want to go?” He wondered aloud, hopping across the various rooftops, before taking note of a number of sirens and flashing lights on the side streets.

(Lots of cops out today, must be something pretty big going on.)

He paused for a moment, before giggling madly at that thought. Something that slowed him down enough, for a few of those sirens to get loud enough to draw his attention to the street below as three cop cars pulled to a stop.

From each car a set of organic officers got out of the vehicles beside their mechanical partners, with all of them taking cover as they tried to train their guns on him, despite being almost sixty feet below him.

“What is with all these cops today, shouldn’t they be dealing with the conference?”

“They know my guard has the conference covered. In fact, I slipped in orders that if you happened to show up today, they were to prioritize your arrest.” The princess explained more than a little proud of herself.

“Well, thank you then.” And he really did mean that.

“That said, the whole city is on high alert by now, and at this rate it’s just a matter of time before they corner you.”

“We’ll just see about that princess.” He pressed a finger to the side of his helmet, “Blake, any sign of hero-boy?”

“None, sir.”

(Can’t leave until he shows up…)

“Give me five minutes then retract whatever toys are still playing at the conference.”

“Understood.”

Nodding to himself, he glanced at the princess over his shoulder. “You know your hero really has been slacking off lately if I have to tell my own minions to stop with the mayhem making.”

Maybell just rolled her eyes, “And why pray tell is it so important that you meet him, before making an escape?”

“Because half the fun is in the thrill of the confrontation…” To emphasis this point, he drew his gun before pulling the trigger three time, hitting the three machines with enough force to send them flying back with a thin trail of oil in their wake.

“Ha! So much for your ‘police budget’!” He couldn’t help but cackle for the moment it took him to realize the princess was smirking. “What’s with that look?”

He froze as he watched the three machines began to pick themselves off the ground, as if the gaping holes in their chest were meaningless.

“W-why aren’t they blowing up?!” he whined.

“Oh, I’m very proud of this one.” Maybell smiled. “We recently made advancements in both droid core durability and efficiency, meaning we could compact them into singular units, so there will be fewer explosion points, vastly reducing the need for replacements, and repairs to the surrounding environment.”

“But blowing them up was half the fun!” he argued stomping his foot on the ground like a child.

“Well, I guess you’re going to have to find some way to entertain yourself,” Maybell told him, “one that preferably doesn’t involve blowing up my subjects.”

He scowled at her before grinning wide, “If that’s what you want~.”

The princess blinked. “I don’t like that look in your eyes.”

“You shouldn’t.” he agreed, before walking off the edge of the building and laughing as they fell through the air. Only to stop as he realized the princess wasn’t screaming.

“What, it’s not like this is the first time you’ve jumped off a building while kidnapping me.” Maybell pointed out with a shrug as they landed on a speeding transport truck.

“What happened to motion sickness?!”

“You’re not doing any of those flippy things, so it’s no big deal.” After a moment, the princess gave him an odd look. “What, did you want me to actually vomit on your armor?”

He couldn’t help but narrow his eyes at her. “You know, you used to be a lot more fun to kidnap.”

“Does that mean you’re going to quit kidnapping me?” the princess asked innocently, completely unbothered by the fact he was hopping onto other vehicles to weave through traffic.

“Hell no, bitch.”

He kicked off a yellow cab and stuck his arm out to grab onto a nearby light pole, to give him better leverage to survey his surroundings.

“Now, where, oh, where could hero boy be?”

“Try central square, it’s not like anyone can miss you there.” Maybell sighed, finally rolling with the insanity. “Just try to avoid any snipers, I don’t want to get any blood on this dress.”

“Ooh, good idea, thanks princess!” He tapped his comms, with a mad grin. “Blake!”

“Yes, sir?” Blake answered both calm and prompt.

“Have you evacuated the minions from the conference, or do we still have troops on the ground?”

“Primary squads are positioned for pick up, but none of them are within range of your current position to be of aid.”

(Damn…)

“Alright, then launch a secondary squad of minions, and have them move towards central square. Once they’re there set up for extraction.”

“Understood… we can have everything set up in fifteen minutes.”

“Good, I’ll see if I can get the hero’s attention.”

It only took him a few powerful leaps to reach his destination, a large city intersection filled with milling people, and various advertisements fleeting across a number of screens, his earlier chaos doing nothing to even influence their day.

(Well, we’ll just have to fix that.)

While part of him had been tempted to merely crash into the ground, the showoff in him, that he oh so loved to spoil, demanded something a little grander.

Reaching into his bandolier with his free hand, he pulled out a few spheres before spinning each until a specific series of lights flashed onto each.

(That’ll do…)

With gentle toss he threw the spheres out into the center of the square, before leaping off the building and following after them.

The first sphere would explode with a crack of thunder, sending a cloud of smoke all around, to get the attention of the masses. The second would send out a pulse of force, both cushioning his fall, and pushing any upstarts away from his chosen stage. The final two spheres would then spin on the ground, one giving off powerful wind and the other a series of strong sparks and embers.

This combination of theatrical spheres, all detonated over just a few seconds, gave the impression of his villainous visage appearing out of a twister of smoke, wind, and hellfire, and giving his entrance the proper flare that it deserved.

“Hello… central square…” He began with a slow, menacing drawl. “It’s… good… to be back…” he trailed off with a demented laugh.

“You’re trying just a little too hard there.” The princess murmured, though he chose to ignore her, since as his adoptive grandfather told him, anything worth doing was worth doing in style.

He turned his attention, onto the cowering crowd, more than a little happy when he noticed several pull out their phones and start recording.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m just waiting on the oh so glorious, hero of Mechanique to… get off his ass and fight me!” He took a deep breath, before giving the crowd a much kinder smile. “Absolutely, nothing to worry about on your end.”

For some odd reason that didn’t calm anyone down.

With the crowd pacified, he put a finger to his comms. “Blake are the minions in position?”

“They’ll be ready for ambush in three minutes sir.” Blake confirmed. “Extraction, will be ready in another eight.”

“Good, good, stall them all and the hero shall fall.” He giggled.

“Does everything have to be rhymes and alliteration with you?” Maybell wondered aloud.

“It’s a family thing.” He shrugged.

Less than five minutes later, the crowd started to cheer and point at something in the distance. Following their gazes, and with a spin of his mechanical eye, he caught sight of a man in blue and red armor flying towards him with a jet pack.

“It’s about time.” He couldn’t help but grumble under his breath.

The hero in red and blue flew in close, before pulling to a stop at just the right distance for witty banter, all while maintaining that heroic thousand-yard stare.

(Ah, it’s always nice to deal with a true professional, rather than those wannabe guards.)

He took a moment to subtly clear his throat, before…

“Finally, I was beginning to wonder if I’d have to track you down myself.” Once more he put on his mask of suave madness, admit ably more for the watching crowd of civilians than anyone else. (After all I have to dazzle the fans.) “Sorry, if my day killers slowed you down, but I just had to make an entrance. You understand, don’t you?”

Rather than answering the hero just stood their floating in the air, continuing to watch him with a passive gaze.

(Okay…)

He waited for another moment, one that was growing steadily more awkward under the hero’s gaze, before hissing, “Princess, damsel in distress, go!” in an attempt to salvage whatever was happening.

“Fine…” Princess Maybell sighed, before coughing into her hand, she then clasped her hands together and assumed signature princess pose #34, “Oh, Vince, my hero, you’ve come to save me!”

“I’m done.”

He froze. (What.)

He felt the princess do the same. “What.”

“This… this farce.” Vince the hero (?) frowned, before shaking his head. “I’m done with it.”

“But I… I need you to rescue me…”

“You have three black belts as well as doctorates in engineering, biology, physics, and anatomy.” The hero scoffed. “Hell, you probably know more ways to hurt Nico than I do.”

“Hey, ixnay on the amenay.” He cut in with a scowl towards the crowd, and their phones.

“It doesn’t matter if I know how to hurt him, it’s your job to hurt him when he causes trouble!”

“And what about all the other criminals that cause trouble in this city?”

“Nico ‘s responsible for like ninety percent of this city’s crime rate!”

He frowned at the princess on his shoulder. “Not you too Maybell…” He switched his glare to the hero and then back. “This is extremely unprofessional you two.”

The hero crossed his arms and scoffed. “And how many of those crimes are actual crimes?”

“Destruction of property, theft, assault, murder, and…” The princess tapped her chin in thought. “Oh, yeah, kidnapping me!”

He glanced between the hero (?) and the princess. “Are you two just ignoring me?”

The hero rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on! If I don’t free you, he lets you go in like a week!”

The princess flinched at that. “That’s, that’s because I, I manage to escape on my own!”

“See, you don’t even need me to deal with this crap.”

“You two are ignoring me!” He stomped his foot on the ground. “Stop that!”

Vincent glared at him, before shaking his head in disgust. “Like I said, I’m done. I have real criminals to stop.”

“Hey, hey, I am a professional supervillain!” He pointed out, before reaching into a pouch on his bandolier, and pulling out a card. “See here’s my license and everything! A-Rank Supervillain, The Mad Jester of Mechanique!”

“I’m pretty sure you and your minions make those yourself.”

“I, I, I…” he sputtered trying to think of a comeback.

Vincent just rolled his eyes with a sneer, “Like I said, I have real villains to deal with.”

With that the hero of Mechanique city turned and flew away from both the villain and Princess of Mechanique.

He blinked, trying to process what just happened, before looking around at his equally stunned minions and the crowd surrounding them.

(Did he just…)

He shook his head before glancing towards Maybell, wondering if she could explain to him whatever that was.

The princess’s response was less than ideal…

“THAT FUCKING PUNKASS BITCH!!!”