《My Pick Up Artist System》48: Crime of passion
Advertisement
Ben was giving a police report. "Yea, that guy was courting death…I mean who answers a phone in a place where a truck could drive through the wall at any moment…I'm sure he's been building bad karma his whole life with all manner of evil acts: threatening people, stealing their bathroom sluts...He's probably kicked a dog…Hey, why aren't you writing this down?"
The policeman squinted at him. "I was asking you about the drunk driver…"
"Oh, him. I'm not sure. I guess he did it for a good cause…So that big dude. Is he going to live?"
"...Yea, he'll be in the hospital a while, but looks like he'll live. Wall took the brunt of it."
Ben nodded. 'No reincarnation then. Too bad for him but Truck-kun also has off-days...This must also be a part of his bad luck--having to continue as a small-time antagonist...'
Pink Floyd music played in the back of Ben's mind. 'All in all you're just a...nother face to be slapped...'
Out of the blue, Ben remembered something important. 'Wait...I almost forgot. I have to find out if he lost his cultivation....maybe his qi center was broken!'
Ben glanced at the cop. "Was it mashed up?"
"Huh?"
"His meat and potatoes…did they get turned into puree or what?"
…
"Because he's got this beautiful girlfriend and it'd be a pity if she also became a victim of this tragedy...She should hear the news from me in case she needs a shoulder to cry on. It would be best If I could take a few photos..." Ben was already lobbying for a role in Lia's biopic--the low key but necessary stunt-c*ck.
...
The officer didn't answer, only staring at Ben like he was a pervert…He tried hard to remember if he'd seen that face on the wanted list at the station, but came up with nothing. "All right, that's enough. I've got everything I need." He waved Ben off.
Advertisement
...
"How was it?" Antonio asked Ben when he finished the police interview. He'd been waiting on the curb outside the bar.
"The state of the sausage is in doubt..."
Antonio nodded in understanding. As the two were talking, the huge guy was stretchered into an ambulance.
Ben eyed him like an eagle, scrutinizing every detail. When the stretcher reached the ambulance, it jostled as the paramedics lifted it up, causing the man to show a miserable, pained expression.
Ben narrowed his eyes. 'I know that face...that's the face of the d*ckless! Welcome to the wonderful world of wastes...'
An evil smile formed on Ben's face. 'You better hope your story has a weak to strong tag...otherwise, don't waste my time. Hurry up and send out your ancestor so I can give him a smack...'
Soon, they loaded Lia's boyfriend into the ambulance and it took off. Ben turned to Antonio. "He went full Reek..."
Antonio raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Looks like the Gayjoys are still without an heir..."
With Reek gone, Ben started going over the incident in his head. 'So that was 'Very bad luck?'' He shook his head. 'What Bad Luck Musk? That was an execution musk!" Now he understood why the system rated it as rare. Despite feeling the pain of losing such an expensive item, Ben was in fine spirits because he received another achievement.
[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Crime of passion(rare) - Attempt to murder a man over a woman]
[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 1000]
Ben gulped when he read the description. 'If the policeman ever saw this...' He sweated. 'If anyone tried to murder him, it was you! You need to change the text from very bad luck to eating a truck! ...In any case, it wasn't murder. At most, it would be manslaughter…and he didn't die. He'll continue living in the mortal realm as a walking cliche...'
Advertisement
As Ben stared at the system screen, he cursed the injustice. 'Don't make me out as the villain!' If Ben knew that truck would be the result, he would've never used the perfume on that guy. Ben wasn't a madman!
He would've used it on someone he really disliked!
After such an unexpected event, Ben couldn't avoid considering an insane possibility. 'I have a system and even summoned truck-kun...' His eyes narrowed. 'Is it possible...I'm an MC?' He gulped. 'But if that was true...why aren't beauties and money falling into my lap? ...Hmmm. I don't know, but just in case, I'll keep my eyes open...'
"Hey, check it out." Antonio tapped Ben and pointed at something.
When Ben saw it, he gasped.
Those three drunk beauties from before were still here, outside the bar. After the truck's grand entrance, things became chaotic, with management and people shuffling all over the place. Ben and Antonio lost sight of the drunk women and the police arrived only a minute later.
Ben's eyes shined. "The wolf pack left their meal uneaten."
He and Antonio exchanged glances. They had the same idea. "Scavenge!"
…
"Cindy, it'll be okay hun." One girl vomited on the sidewalk under a tree. The other two were holding her hair and helping her.
All of a sudden, a voice emerged near them. "Hey babe, should we resume this Romeo and Juliet story?" Ben addressed the blonde who offered him the bathroom romance.
She squinted at Ben, as if trying to recall who he was, then frowned. "F*ck off, creep!"
Ben's jaw dropped. 'Wasn't this change too sudden?' Then he looked at her status screen.
[Target's current attraction level: disinclined]
[Target's current comfort level: stranger]
'No!' Ben's face fell. 'We could've been so happy together!'
The drunk status had worn off. It was a Shakespearean tragedy!
…
He returned to Antonio with hobbled steps. "Antonio, do you think I'll ever feel that way about a woman again?"
"What way?"
"The way you feel when a woman asks you do her in a toilet."
...
Antonio sighed. He patted Ben's back and showed a hopeful smile. "Yea bud. It's gonna hurt a while, but after the pain, you'll find the right one…your destined bathroom Betty."
...
"Yea…you're right." Ben knew Antonio was correct. It was basic toilet theory…The first step to recovery was acceptance, so he focused on the future.
"What happened anyway?" Antonio asked.
"They weren't drunk anymore."
Antonio shook his head and looked up at the sky. "The brightest stars burn out the fastest…Sometimes you blink, and the moment is gone…"
"Yea…" Ben looked at the time. "If you're done with the emoetry…let's go. I need to sell some baby batter before it expires."
Advertisement
- In Serial10 Chapters
Terrortorial
Dead yet not dead. Blood but not mine. Carnage all around, destruction throughout time. I'll take this here land and put down a sign. Fight if you want but this territory mine! A simple verse that conveys my feelings, I'll protect what is mine regardless of the opposition. I am Z and I will thrive.
8 59 - In Serial45 Chapters
Rome on Middle Earth (ROME)
The legions of rome were about to go back to their camp after recently winning another battle when a flash of light from the sky blinded everyone, next thing they knew there is mist around them and 13 dwarves and an old man with a pointy hat running towards them with a horde of goblins chasing them. Watch the Legions of Rome fight their enemies as once again they make the world tremble as they participate in earth shaking battles, Battle of the six army, Battle of Helms deep, Battle of Minas Tirith, and Battle of the Black Gate. Cover Art Credit: Leo Karpacz I do not own any characters and images in the story.
8 154 - In Serial79 Chapters
The Forest Spirit who sought the Gods
After the Gods of Time, Nature and the Elements created this world, they took a rest under the shade of a tree they created. Thanking their creation for helping them back with its shade, they gave the tree sentience, blessed him and called him a friend. Now the Gods are half-asleep, content with only watching. The world has breathed for millenia, and the blessed tree still watches over the forest around himself. The world has changed and his life comes to an end, surrounded by loneliness. Gathering what's left of his strength, he passes his torch on, in the hope of giving a last goodbye to his friends, wherever they may be and whenever they would see. Meet and follow his first and last creation he passes his will to, a one of a kind forest spirit with... abilities (wouldn't want to spoil too much here now, would I?). Curious and cute, he will travel and meet new people, discovering the world he's in, to try and give a last goodbye to the three creation gods in his dad-tree's place.------It's my first time writing a novel! Or anything of the kind, in fact. So bash me as much as you like (within reason, of course).------This will be a world of humans, humanoïds, beasts, magic, and a heartwarming tale of travels across it. It won't always be butterflies, roses and friendship though, heavy moments are there too. Also : depictions of violence, blood and gore, nudity, strong language, alcohol and other classic +17 stuff. To the reader's discretion.
8 120 - In Serial14 Chapters
The Core of a Factory
An abandoned steampunk arms factory, in the middle of a conflict torn former state of the Empire it served, gains a soul. This transforms it into a Lord, capable of turning land into power. Beset by enemies on all sides it must figure out how to win the war its creators lost a century ago. This is a progressive Dungeon Core novel (which is to say the core will progress and expand in scale, eventually) across multiple dimensions with different characteristics (e.g. steampunk, magic, mythological). It has rationalist leanings (paragraphs of reasoning) and litrpg leanings (there are stat blocks). The core game mechanical idea is something like "what if different flavors of magic power actually did come from controlling land" and then the story is: "what if there was a flavorless (artifact deck) dungeon core". Chapters will be relatively short (my aim is that in three column format each would fit on a wide screen monitor), the first few chapters - setting up the main character and mechanics - are currently the longest in the entire series. I write chapters in blocks, and then release them one a weekday (M-F; 6 PM GMT, unless RoyalRoad's publish thing screws up) until I run out. There may be a few days of gaps here and there if someone finds an egregious error I have to re-write around or if I am behind. In general though one can read this once a weekend. I may do slight retconns and edits, I'll make sure to put it in an authors note if I do.
8 90 - In Serial59 Chapters
athena. hs
― 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒚𝒍𝒆𝒔⤷ ❝ do you have sunburn or are you always this hot?
8 196 - In Serial37 Chapters
Combat Cockpit
Basically a few characters going against each other in a 1v1 except I give the results and stuff like that this will mostly include the monsterverse and also the jurassic franchise but, I will include other stuff from other franchises from to time as well
8 380

