《My Pick Up Artist System》80: Choosing the divine pick up line
Advertisement
On that day, Ben learned that compared to only hearing a concept, watching it work as described created a much stronger impression. One could say showing was more powerful than telling…
"She's going to show me them tits!" Ben declared to Beluga and Antonio.
He was texting Katie as the three of them walked out of the cafe and into the mall corridor. As soon as Ben applied the three minute rule, he noticed her responses became more enthusiastic. Within a few more exchanges, they set a date for tomorrow! As for the tits...Ben's optimism was running wild...
"Stop textin' her before you ruin it. After the date's set, leave it at that until the next day. Remember that you want to seem busy," Antonio said.
At those words, Ben became anxious. He almost knocked into passing shoppers as he sent Katie his last text, which he read out loud as he types. "Gotta go, busy, dog in crumbling skyscraper. Send."
…
Antonio and Beluga stopped dead in their tracks at the last part. "Did you send that?" Beluga stared at Ben.
"Yea, what? Wasn't that correct?" Ben asked.
Antonio replied, "No! You gotta keep what you say within the realm of plausible possibility. No one knows a skyscraper is crumblin' before it happens. This ain't the Twin Towers."
…
Ben's palms started to sweat. "Did I ruin my date tomorrow by doing something ridiculous? I mean…jet fuel can't melt steel beams…"
Antonio waved it off. "Nah, you're ok. It's lucky you added the dog. Saved by the rule of cute. Send her a puppy pic to stop the bleeding…"
Ben did as instructed. Before he clicked send, Antonio snatched his phone from him. "Damnit, not Scrappy Doo…"
After Antonio sent a photo of an actual dog, Ben put his cell away and the three continued marching through the crowded halls of loud shoppers.
Advertisement
Ben looked at his two buds. Not long ago, he didn't know what friendship was. He was all alone in his room, living vicariously through video games and light novels…a life that he recently learned…wasn't a life at all.
"You know, I've really gotta thank you guys. If you didn't take me in…I would've been hopeless… I would've never believed a nobody like me could change his life with some direction and motivation. Now…I'm dating beauties, not afraid to take what I want, and chasing my goals every day… Whatever happens, I just want you guys to know that I really appreciate you helping me…and being my friends." When the two of them looked at him, Ben blushed a little.
"It's that kind of talk that's gonna keep you a virgin cuz…" Antonio jested and put his arm around Ben's shoulders.
Beluga also patted Ben's back with a reassuring smile. "He's right. Never let a female catch you saying that."
…
Wrapped up in the mood, Ben started another sentimental sentence before Beluga interrupted him by yelling towards a passing woman. "Hey baby! You ever been with a man with such a smooth ass pimp walk?!?"
…
He walked away, leaving Ben and Antonio looking at each other. "The man's a real pro…" Antonio rubbed his neck.
"We should do some opening ourselves." Ben gazed around the mall. His eyes broadened when he spotted a black-haired professional beauty outside a luxury store's window display. With her pencil skirt highlighting her sexy long legs, she reviewed the display while making notes on a clipboard.
'Is she the manager? Looks intimidating…' In the past, Ben found it difficult approaching professional women like her. The reason was simple: they felt he was too young. Ben wouldn't pass for much older than 21 and possessed the aura of a student, though it was developing into the aura of a dropout…
Advertisement
And a pervert...
'It might've been difficult yesterday, but now I have a secret weapon.' Ben smirked with confidence. He held the perfect skill for a woman like this: the Divine Line Generator!
Rather than using it at night, Ben preferred using it now for several reasons. First: opening in bars was much harder. Women expected men to approach them so they kept their guards up.
Second: Antonio and Beluga were busy tonight so Ben would solo level again. At night, even if the Divine Line succeeded, he'd still have to deal with an obstacle after, so it wasn't worth it using it then. Ben understood by now that the best time to meet women was during the day, when they were often alone and might accept an approach with pleasant surprise. 'I'll use it now.'
He exhaled, visualizing his successful open. He glanced at Antonio, "I'm going in." Ben walked over to the woman, passing through the noisy pedestrians. When he was a short distance from her, he activated the Divine Line Generator with his mind.
[Divine Line Generator Activated]
[Uses remaining: 0]
[Time till refresh: 23:59:57]
[Divine Pick Up Line Generated]
[Choose one of the following]
[A: Do you work here? This shop is great]
[B: Look at you, pathetic. Your father never believed in you. That's why you're here now]
[C: (Point at her vagina) Hey, you going to eat that?]
…
Ben shook his head in disbelief. 'What degenerate writes these?'
...
Exhaling, he gazed at the options for a few seconds. 'At least the correct choice is obvious.' He prepared his divine line, and stepped in.
The professional beauty turned towards Ben with a cold expression.
Ben defrosted her with the hot fire.
Advertisement
- In Serial7 Chapters
Badass
At the end of everything, Taylor Hebert realized something. She didn't want to be a superhero. No, she wanted to be a badass. And then her prayers were answered. Imbued with the power of mimetic badassery and the ability to channel a different real-life badass every week, she set out in search for all the best things in life - well, according to Conan, at least. Modeling herself after Conan have been a mistake. Join her on her high-octane, pulp-fiction journey for vengeance, adventure, victory and mayhem. This isn't just uncensored. It's anti-censored! =========================== (Worm/Fate/Badass of the Week) Warning: crack-taken-seriously, over-the-top pulp-fiction style violence, overpowered protagonist, banned on two other sites. Hell, even the light-hearted omake jokes in this were considered too subversive to persist. ============================ AN: There’s this really, really excellent website called Badass of the Week. I’ve wasted many an hour browsing through, marveling at all the crazy shit some humans are capable of. Check it out, then come back and read this in a few days when the awesome starts to wear off. It’s worth it (all 576 entries). Back? Good! Anyways, I was looking through it recently while thinking about who I wanted to make expy’s of for my The Flying Dutchman quest ship captains (which now languishes in indefinite hiatus), and I had this idea. What if Taylor, wanting to be a badass, triggered with the power to be a different Badass every week? With a bit of Fate-style ability to draw on the tools associated with the legend (but to a just marginally less ridiculous degree), and a drive and aura to be and do badass? And thus, Badass was born in it’s somewhat cracky glory. Enjoy.
8 188 - In Serial24 Chapters
Dimension Breakers
Two teens and a summer of discovery, of new challenges, of saving the world from interdimensional chaos…Wait, what? Join Mari and David, two California teens who are about to find out that the world is a lot stranger and more dangerous than they ever expected… But it beats burger-flipping for the summer. Just as long as they can keep from getting killed…
8 170 - In Serial6 Chapters
An Angel's Vow
What was supposed to be a simple day's work turned into so much more when Castiel decides to answer a prayer. Now he must continue on in a new and dangerous place where anything can happen. *This is a Work in progress Cover from (Stefan Keller)
8 178 - In Serial15 Chapters
Survival Story Of A Swordsman In A Post-Apocalyptic World
Waking up in a seemingly new world after being killed in a war. A swordsman navigates through danger to find his purpose. Facing dangers in form of Monsters that have been roaming the ravaged world of humanity. Or perhaps other individuals in his way.
8 92 - In Serial33 Chapters
Champions || DNF [Ancient Rome AU]
A DreamNotFound fanfiction.-•-"Well, you certainly look... strong.""I'm glad I meet your expectations, emperor."-•-Dream was taken from his home as a young boy and forced into chains; trained as one of the most formidable gladiators in Rome.George was born into imperial royalty; into a life of marble and gold; living a life as the heir to the Roman throne.One had nothing.The other had everything... or so he thought.-•-[This story will contain aspects from both Ancient Rome and Ancient Greece][!!contains!! violence, coarse language and such themes relevant to the time period]Complete :)
8 196 - In Serial200 Chapters
Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark
Just a whole book full of different scary stories to entertain you, the reader, none of it is my own work. Enjoy!
8 288

