VI – Kawaii! A Toad wearing armor... No, wait! Don’t erase my existence! No! No! (Part 2)

-| Glitch - |

The night fell as if a deity stirred a black veil over Chicago.

Edward slept, unsuspicious. The previous day pushed his body to its limits. His stomach grumbled and stormed, yet the boy did not move an inch. His sleep was so deep that one could mistake him for a piece of furniture.

His little sister Hermione watched him alongside with Joy, their mother.

“See?” asked the young girl, pointing at Edward. “He’s been sleeping like that ever since he got home. Didn’t say a word, just got in bed.”

“It says online that he’s missed a test...”

“I think it’s drugs,” supposed Hermione, crossing her arms. “He’s been eating drugs, I’m sure of it! You’ll berate him, right? He forgot dinner—”

The woman turned around, nonchalantly. She walked away and closed the bedroom’s door.

Hermione ran after her mother, confused, “Wait, mom! You’ll fight with him, right?”

Her mother did not answer. The girl watched as Joy meddled with papers in her hospital bag. Hermione sobbed:

“Mom”—she grasped at the woman’s jacket—“something wrong?”

“Once I’m back from the hospital, I’ll talk to your brother,” replied Joy as she turned around and yanked papers from a table. They were copies of radiographs. The exams displayed empty holes around the bones of a victim as if entire limbs had disappeared into thin air.

“You’re leaving already, mom?” asked Hermione with tears in her eyes. “How come they need a nurse all the time? We need our mom,” she wept.

“Don’t make this face, I took you out to dine and bought that toy that you wanted.”

The girl inflated the cheeks with air, grumping. She made the ugliest scowl that she could and ran away in protest.

Joy heaved a loud sigh. “I have no time for this, Hermione!” said the woman as she wore her purse and walked to the old door of the apartment. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Love you,” she asserted, expecting an answer.

Hermione did not reply. She crossed her arms and stared at a window with a grumpy scowl on her face.

Joy resigned, “As you want, goodbye.”

The young girl refused to look at her mother as she left. Hermione snorted:

“Who needs her? I’m fine by myself! Even if no one likes me—”

Shadows knocked down trash bins as they roamed the streets outside. They turned bags upside-down and investigated the sidewalk. Their cheeks inflated and deflated like balloons. Hermione leaned over to see what was happening. “What the h”—she covered her mouth to stop a bad word from escaping her lips—“w-what are those?”

She laid her sights upon the strange creatures as they stepped under a light pole.They were colorful and had yellow eyes, like the ones of toads. A sticky goo dripped off their skins and faded as it touched the ground. “Giant toads?” she murmured to herself. “Where are they going?” Her eyes shined with wonder and admiration as the creatures faded into the darkness of the night. “What was that—”

She felt a strange urge to draw what she saw. Hermione tore a tower of notebooks down and dove in a sea of drawing sheets. She yanked a pen from the carpet and scribbled the paper until she had drawn a toad holding a bloody ax.

****

The Moon hid in the west and a new morning began. As punctual as the Sun, J.J Strayan’s radio show was there to inform the city that a new day started:

“G’morning, Chicago!” buzzed a radio alarm-clock at Edward’s apartment. The broadcaster’s loud voice filled every chamber with sound. “Here’s J.J Strayan with your daily fix so you can start your day”—airhorns and car horns furiously burst off the sound boxes—“STRON—”

Edward turned off the radio. J.J Strayan’s obnoxious shout would not get him this time. The boy already stood by the machine, full of energy. “The same trick doesn’t work twice against a Golden Saint!” said Edward as he fired up the apartment’s cheap oven. He had awakened earlier solely to make breakfast. The boy’s body longed for food and he cooked without straying his sights away from the eggs. He faced his soon-to-be-omelet as if he eyed the woman of his life.

Thief Queen watched bored as Edward cooked. She had awakened another day as nothing but a voice in his head. She mocked his anime knowledge, embittered:

“You expected me to get that reference? Because I did. Shamefully.”

The boy giggled at her comment. “You’re up already?” he asked.

“No. If I were, I’d be answering your questions. Which I’m clearly not.”

“You really are a morning person, aren’t you?” he mocked her.

“It’s been years since I got off the bed before 14:00. I apologize if I can’t be on my best behavior.”

“Alright, alright. So,” Edward began, “want to talk about you? I really feel like we must talk. I was wondering if you are a part of me or something like that. Can you at least tell me what’s going on? Am I going crazy? Was that Thief King Edward guy really me?”

“No,” she replied.

“Was that a ‘No’ for which question?”

“All of them.”

“A-Alright,” he faltered, “so can you tell me what’s that metal heart thing?”

“No.”

“Can you tell about that guy that I turned into to save Macro?”

“No. You’ve asked that already.”

“And you said…”

“No.”

Edward frowned, upset. “Can you at least tell me your name?” he bargained. “You have one, right?”

“No, you are a total dork. You’d start fangirling all over me…”

“I really wanted to know your name. I love Glitchers, you know?” he remarked. His face displayed a smile that had enough positivity for two. “Have you seen my half of the bedroom?”

“I think I’m the only girl from outside who will ever see it…”

“My point is”—he continued—”I absolutely love Glitchers! I’m not ignorant about you guys. I know it all! Before my mom took my PC away, I’ve even written fanfiction in my fansite!” confessed Edward with a wide grin on his face.

“Really?” she asked, skeptical. “Was it one of those terrible fan stories trying to turn children’s heroes into hardcore perverts?”

“Of course not!” he protested, blushing. “I wrote like Greek theater, you know? Aristophanes wrote plays very similar to what we call fanfiction.”

“So what did you write? I bet it was cringy.”

“I wrote backstories for some famous Glitching Circles and gangs. I’ve always wanted to know what’s behind the mask, you know? When we want something really bad and we don’t get it, we make it ourselves. There comes the fanfiction. Some people want to see creepy things, I just wanted to know more about the people whom I admire.”

“I see,” Thief Queen faltered. The boy’s positivity ignited a warm fuss in her consciousness. She seldom heard of admiration.

Edward continued, “I’ve always wanted to be one of them and make a difference, you know? I know Glitchers get a terrible rep and no one trusts them, but I think it’s worth trying to change that. Glitches put the people and the authorities on equal level of power—”

“You are aware that this world is a simulation, right?” she said, feeling the need to tempt the boy with nihilism. “Who cares if people are getting screwed. If anything, they had it coming. None of this political trash should matter to you. Those posters, this apartment, this world; it’s all pointless. Everything is as real as those cartoon characters that you like. You might as well be an NPC in a video game. This has been proven many times before, and Glitchers see it every day.”

Edward faced his reflection as if he stared at Thief Queen’s eyes. His hands ceased to move. “I know all that, but”—he rose his frown—“it’s the only world we have, no? If I don’t believe in something and give up finding a purpose, that’s when everything will really become pointless. Show people a tiny light in the dark and that is all that they need to know that there is a way out. That was a quote from a Glitcher called—”

“Gallant. He always said that,” remarked Thief Queen, morose. If she had a body, she would have smiled.

“—Gallant, yes! He is my favorite! I remember reading about his battle with that European guy who wanted to blow up Notredame. What was that guy’s name, the Lizard?”

“La Salamandre.”

He grinned. “You know a lot too,” he said. “I also remember that Gallant’s duo, Thief Queen, was always really boring—”

“What did you say?”

“I said that she was boring. But when she teamed up with Gallant, it was magic. I read that La Salamandre is still locked up in a madhouse. He never recovered from that fight,” continued Edward. “Then there was that other time when the Skulls invaded the National Archives and they cheated the elite Glitchers from OLYMPUS…”

Thief Queen kept silent as the boy continued telling stories that she knew by heart. The names that he spoke breathed life into old memories in her. Yet the women felt hopeless. She failed to control Edward for more than an hour. Recovering her body, unlocking the secrets of the Heart in a Vat and bringing Gallant back to life seemed like an ever more distant dream. She feared that her destiny was to be a figment of that boy’s imagination. Yet if she were to be a prisoner in Edward’s mind, she decided that she might as well make her sentence more comfortable. “You wanna know what,” she interrupted his endless tales of the Skulls, “I’ll tell you my name.”

“You will? So let me go first”—he smiled—“I’m Edward Williams, I’m 15 years old. So what’s your name?”

“My name is…” She faltered, unsure of what to say. She hadn’t spoken her real name in a long time. Although telling him that she was ‘Thief Queen’ was out of the question, that nickname grew to define her much better than her real identity. She heaved a loud sigh and told him the truth, “my name is Elizabeth Shao, and my age is not of your concern.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Shao! Thank you for saving Macro!”

“Whatever. You’ll burn the eggs again, by the way.”

Edward’s eyes widened. He sniffed the smoke coming out of the frying pan. “Oh, damn it. The eggs”—he turned off the oven—“So close!” he sighed in relief, glancing at his sister Hermione, who sat by the window. “Breakfast is almost here, sis!” he announced.

The boy removed his apron and poured the steaming eggs into plates. He yanked two bronze toasts from his toasters and laid them out along with the eggs as if he organized a military formation. He arrayed the food as if he drew a photocopy of what his mother had taught him (and of what her grandmother had taught her).

Thief Queen Elizabeth observed his militaresque cooking doctrine and felt disgusted. “Have you ever reflected that if you always play the game how it is supposed to be played, you’ll never find anything new?” she inquired. “The road does not change if you walk it a thousand times, you know. Glitches appear when you make yourself open to them. You only discover something new by doing something that hasn’t been done before. That should be obviou—”

“Sorry,” faltered Edward, “were you saying something important? I was thinking about something else.”

“No,” she replied sarcastically, “why would I bother making coherent sounds with my nonexistent mouth?”

“That’s good because I wasn’t paying attention. I’m thinking it’s strange that Hermione hasn’t come to eat yet”—he tilted his head to face his sister—“she’s just sitting there, drawing.”

“Maybe she decided more food isn’t really what she needs…”

“Don’t be mean,” said the boy as he rested the breakfast on the table and walked to his sister. “Hey, Hermione,” he greeted her, “whatcha you doing?” He asked, crouching to see what she drew.

She had painted enough colorful frogs to cover a wall from the apartment.

Edward noticed that the toy that her mother had bought her the previous day was still sealed in a toybox. He grabbed the girl’s shoulder, concerned. “Hermione? Are you alright?” he asked.

“Bro...” She frowned at her drawings. “Did you see walking toads roaming around the street yesterday? I mean, before you passed out because of the drugs? I think I did.”

“Giant toads?” he faltered.

“Like these!” she said, pointing at the animals that she drew.

Edward yanked a poorly-drawn drawing from the carpet. “Let me see it,” he said, squeezing his eyes to understand what she portrayed through her art.

“You’ve seen things like these anywhere?”

He grinned, embarrassed. “I don’t think I’ve seen any animal this abstract, sorry. But why are you drawing these toads so much?”

“I-I don’t know”—she wept—“I can’t stop. My hand hurts so much.”

“I can solve that with a magic trick.”

Her eyes shined. “Really?”

Edward yanked the pen from his sister’s hand and threw it out the window. “Done,” he said as he beat both hands together. “Now go eat and take a shower. It’s almost school time.”

“Wait, I think someone must’ve seen it!” said Hermione as walked to the radio and turned up the volume.

“Hermione, eat. You can’t—”

J.J Strayan’s voice burst off the radio, “14 youths walking around Jefferson Park were sent to Chicago’s Central Hospital with disappeared limbs. 8 of them wore bandanas from the organization The Cubs. The police have discarded the possibility of gang warfare, which is good news. However, the local doctors are intrigued because they couldn’t find any trace of the missing limbs. It’s like these guys played knife game with a shredder! It ain’t looking pretty! And now to our public utility announcement…”

Edward’s cheeks glowed green. He covered his mouth as he imagined the scene.

Elizabeth, the Thief Queen, recoiled. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m disgusted easily, sorry,” he mumbled as he touched his sister’s shoulder and narrowed his eyes at her. “We can see the news later today, okay? You gotta go to school now.”

Hermione scowled. There was no news of giant frogs. Tears filled her eyelids. “I swear I saw them!” she sobbed.

Edward smiled.

“Maybe my drugs have contaminated the apartment,” he said, patting her on the head. “You’re starting to see things too.”

The girl stuck out her tongue. “That is disgusting!”

“Yes, it is. So eat something to detox yourself, will you?” He blinked at her.

The girl hurried to the table and devoured her breakfast without hesitation. He crossed his arms as he watched her eat. Yet he could not eat. Something troubled the boy.

“Any idea of what happened to Hermione?” he asked Elizabeth.

“I got carried over. Bloody hell!”

“W-What do you mean?”

“I shouldn’t have used Mourgiana’s Fire on that Brandon-guy. Curses. He just had such a burnable face…”

“What are you on about?”

She heaved a loud sigh. “It seems that the Sprites have come to catch me. Or better, catch you.”

“What? Why?”

“Jefferson Park, the place where those mobsters got attacked, is where I fought the Cubs, correct? It can’t be a coincidence that the Sprites appeared there soon after we left.”

“Time, please,” faltered the boy as he stood up and frowned at Hermione’s drawings, “what are these Sprites? What do they have to do with anything?”

“I keep forgetting your knowledge of Glitchers comes from our bootleg comics,” she buffed. “Haven’t you ever wondered why are there so few Glitchers in the world, toothpick?”

He swung his head in denial.

“I figured,” Elizabeth continued. “that’s because of Sprites. They are like corrective beings that take shape in order to quickly eliminate mobs that are abusing glitches. Ever wondered what the tales of talking animals, civilization-destroying creatures and fairies were? The entities that this annoying girl is drawing are Sprites,” she spoke as Edward eyed the colorful drawings.

“H-How come?” he protested, “Hermione has nothing to do with this!”

“Smaller Sprites are only visible to children and Glitchers. They use invisibility to cause accidents and kill the Glitcher. That way even if they fail, the Glitcher will still be socially ostracized for being mad. Then all they need to do is to push out of the window of a sanatorium.”

“Hermione is not in danger, right?” asked Edward as he yanked the most detailed of the drawings from the carpet.

“No, your sister is not in danger. But you certainly are,” clarified Elizabeth, the Thief Queen.

Edward’s eyes widened in terror as he saw the drawing. His sister had drawn a toad stabbing a purple-eyed boy with a medieval blade. “W-W-What is going on”—he recoiled and dropped the image—“will they catch me? w-what do I do now?”

“Keep your eyes open. Until proven innocent, everything is trying to kill you.”

Tables for the Table Gods:

Spoiler: Spoiler

Edward's Stat Cards:

Edward (Thief King Mode)'s Stat Card: