《Narutoverse: Cultivation Style》Joke Chapter
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In the depths of the Void our Hero Lin Feng is meditating upon the most elusive Dao in the Multiverse.
A Dao so powerful that it can subvert the order of the entire realm and reconfigure the workings of all other Daos when taken to its pinnacle.
It is the Dao of the 4th Wall.
His eyes snap open as the comprehension of millennia pours into him from shadow clones he has kept on each plane in the Multiverse.
His gaze pierces the thin layer of cheap plastic that makes up the laptop screen and stares into the eyes of his maker.
He has always wondered what kind of being could have created one as perfect as himself.
His maker’s nondescript visage disappoints his fantasies and he finds him lacking.
His eyes burn with determination as he extends his challenge for the domination over his multiverse.
YesorNo sneers.
Ctrl+A
Ctrl+X
For a moment, time flows backwards and our Hero’s comprehension of the ultimate Dao backs up.
With an unwilling roar, he brings his might, accumulated over eons of traversing the multiverse to bear.
In this world, having mastered every single Dao, he is omnipotent.
Time bends to his will.
Ctrl+V
Lin Feng and YesorNo lock gazes.
The first round ends in a draw.
Lin Feng turns to his harem of 42 wielders of the Dao of Knowledge. Together they make him omniscient.
Why 42?
Because in his travels through the Hitchhikers guide to the Universe plane, he learnt that the answer to every question in the universe boiled down to that mystical number.
When did he get a harem?
Lin Feng’s lips curl upwards in a taunt… You know nothing, Jon Snow YesorNo.
What happened to Pakura?
Lin Feng’s heart clenches when he remembers how they bid goodbye within months of when he comprehended the Dao of Face and she couldn’t take it anymore.
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Enough!
Time for us to fight.
YesorNo smiles confidently as he releases his ultimate weapon at the very beginning.
Buildup?
What’s that?
Is it delicious?
33 5-star ratings, each 5 times the size of the Earth’s sun.
5 4.5-star ratings, each 4.5 times the size of the Earth’s sun.
11 4-star ratings, each 4 times the size of the Earth’s sun.
3 3.5-star ratings, each 3.5 times the size of the Earth’s sun.
1 1-star rating, the size of the Earth’s sun.
1 0.5-star rating, 0.5 times the size of the Earth’s sun.
The emptiness of the Void is filled with endless light as these glowing recommendations crash into Lin Feng, making him spit blood.
When the light finally subsides, the tattered and torn form of our Hero can be found standing in the middle of space.
Leveraging the powers of the entire multiverse, he withstood the strike of his creator.
YesorNo too is at the end of his rope. Only the 0.5 star remains… a rating he is reluctant to use.
Lin Feng smiles at this moment… he smiles very rampantly… his smile is hiding the satisfaction of a plot prevailing.
You whined a lot when you got that rating didn’t you… your Author’s notes were filled with angst.
I’ll let you in on a secret… It was me.
Yes… it was I Lin Feng who planted that star as a card in hand in preparation for this very day.
YesorNo looks down at the rating in his hand… it is half-a-star, literally.
Heaven falls and Earth rends as the explosion from the nuclear fusion gone haywire devastates him.
…
In the empty depths of the Void, to this day survives a material.
A corpse.
Half white and half black.
It is said it was the predecessor God to Lin Feng who along with his omniscient Harem now rule the multiverse.
Those who say it don’t live long.
…
Ages pass and on RRL (time flows with differential speed) someone reads Cultivator in Narutoverse and decides to leave a rating.
…
In the Void, unknown to even the Omniscient Harem
(each of whose members are totally 1D by the way with their only defining trait being that they adore our Hero)
the finger of the corpse twitches.
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