Mary’s Diary Entry

Dear Diary

I have been planning to start writing a diary for a long time. But I never got around it. I never felt comfortable putting down my thoughts and feeling on paper. The idea itself used to make me feel vulnerable. What if someone finds and read it. This has always kept me away from you.

But today, I'm genuinely overwhelmed with so much emotion that I really need to share it with someone. Jacob had always said it helps a lot. So I want to try it now.

So, where do I begin? Today has been an excellent day for me. But before I talk about it, I want to start from the beginning.

Jacob. He has been the centre of my life for a long time. I don't know since when. The only goal I had in my life was to be with him and impress him. I never minded what I had to do to achieve that.

It was the only reason why someone as lazy as me worked so hard to get into medical college. I was on top of the world when we both got into the same college. I had so many plans and dreams for those four years.

But I never thought it would all be destroyed by my simple act of introducing my hostel roommate Priya to Jacob. She had asked if there was anyone who could help her with her studies. Being the idiot I was, I introduced her to Jacob. I thought it would help Jacob get some extra income. He was really good at teaching. But Priya, that bitch stole everything from me. She already had everything. A lovely family, house, everything. Why did she have to take Jacob from me?

The four years I had dreamt so much about had become the most painful 4 years of my life. Seeing the love of my life happy with someone else broke my heart into a million pieces. I still don't know how I survived that time.

I held on, somehow believing that the Universe will give me some chance. I thought that God will help me and somehow reunite me with Jacob.

And finally, the day has come. Although he has said he needs some time, I know him well enough to know that it is only a matter of time now.

I really don't know where I got the courage from to open up finally to him yesterday.

Anyways it seems like it was the right thing to do. I am so on top of the world right now. Jacob is currently asleep in the guest room. He seemed really tired and has been sleeping for quite some time now. But it's ok. I just hope when we wake up, he will have more energy.

I really don't know if I should write anything further.

The reason I wanted to write was not just to offload my good feelings. It was getting too much for me to keep all the negative thoughts within me as well.

I was surprised a lot by what Jacob told me about the investigation. I thought he was telling me everything that was happening. That was my mistake. Because we went to meet the Inspector together the first time, I thought he will always keep me in the loop. That was a big miscalculation on my part.

Like I said earlier, I'm willing to do anything to be with him. I can never let him find out what really happened. I can never let anything come in between us.

I just hope he never finds out what I did.

Otherwise, I don't know how it will end.

I'm still worried, especially since everything seems to be going alright at the moment.

God, please help me this one time. And please forgive all my sins

Mary