I was in a hospital bed, Tem on the floor at my side, beaming at me as she always seemed to nowadays.

I'd had to go through a regenerator again. Cosette couldn't believe the scene she'd found, needing Jack and a pair of bolt-cutters to get in. Locked inside, she found Tem purring like a kitten under me, while I laid there slipping in and out of consciousness with most of the bones in my body broken, and absolutely all of the muscles and ligaments. Lots of internal bleeding, ruptured organs, on the brink of death. Both of us naked, of course.

As Lia had speculated, it was possible to use my powers for more than a burst of speed. By controlling what muscle groups fired when, I could move my body as fast as thought. With the clarity and slowed perception of time that came with a life-and-death situation, apparently that was really, really fast.

But there was a reason people didn't move that fast. Our bodies weren't built for that. And when you pushed it that far, things tore, things broke, things ruptured inside. Uncontrollable, I went forward faster than any human had the right to, or the endurance to. I probably made Karu's jetpack look like it was standing still.

I had run a dozen feet, had grabbed her, slammed into a wall, and that was it. That was my big play. The laser came down on top of us and my shield ate it, which was convenient because I hadn't thought out that part at all. What Cosette saw was the rest.

I think, given this incident, and Mage's passing, Cosette was about ready to call it quits on the team. She'd been by to ask for my version of events, and I told her everything as I had remembered it. Illegal appropriation and use of military equipment, assaulting a fellow officer, gross sexual misconduct, and threatening a US military installation with Exhuman activity, and disruptive activity after lights out, for starters.

She was just...horrified, really, by everything. The sex, the lies, the almost-apocalypse, the attempted suicide. I felt bad for her. One minute, her biggest problems in life were putting us back together after one of us died, and the next, she was dealing with calls from across the XPCA demanding explanations for subversive terrorist activity, trying to protect Tem, whom I'm not sure she thought deserved protecting, and who certainly didn't seem to care if she herself lived or died.

She told me she didn't blame me, and kept getting sidetracked both by going off about how could Tem do that, and then followed immediately by I shouldn't be telling you that.

Honestly, I didn't even care about Tem anymore. What hit me the hardest was that Karu hadn't visited me in the hospital. Jack and Tower, and even Steffie came by, which was a surprise.

But no Karu. Yesterday, I felt like nothing, like a huge icy numb void. Today, I wished I felt that. Everything reminded me of Karu. Whenever I saw the sky, or something green, or even just something moving out of the corner of my eye, it made my heart race because I thought...thought maybe it might be her.

Even her fucking dad sent me a message over holo. Heard I'd saved a fellow soldier's life and hurt myself, what a hero, would like to stop by and visit, yadda yadda. I don't know how he heard about it, but gossip at the XPCA travelled just as fast as anywhere, it seemed.

So I was anxious, a little jumpy, prepared for disappointment but unable to stop my heart from racing when I heard I had a visitor coming up. My heartbeat quadrupled when I heard it was a she.

I had to reel in my disappointment when it was only AEGIS, but I was still surprised and happy to see her, I guess. I don't know what she was doing in DC, or why she looked so different, but...well, I needed a friend, as much as I wanted to be alone.

"I leave you alone for a month, and what is this, your fourth time in a regenerator?" she scolded, adjusting her glasses as soon as she walked in the door. "I thought I told you to take care of yourself."

"Don't blame me," I said. "It's this idiot's fault." I swung a fist, gently, over the edge of the bed and clocked Tem in the forehead.

"Ow," she said.

"What...or who...is this?" Asked AEGIS, warily.

"This is Tem. She's like, my new stray dog that won't stop following me."

"I love Chariot," Tem said, and I shoved her away. "And he hates me."

"Well, I see this was a mistake," AEGIS said, turning red and pivoting for the door on her heel. "Good luck!"

"AEGIS wait. She's a freaky stalker, that's all."

"So get rid of her?"

"I tried that but...she gets...weird, now."

"Chariot protected my life, again. He is my everything," she said, creepily.

"I didn't save her life, I just ruined her death, is all," I explained.

"Maybe...I'd like to hear all of this. This sounds ten types of confusing," AEGIS said, sitting on the foot of my bed.

Glossing over the whole thing with Karu, I let her know in the vaguest possible way who and what Tem was. By the end, AEGIS was looking at her with disgust. Tem didn't seem to care.

"So...why is she allowed in the same room as you?" AEGIS asked, eyeing her warily.

"Apparently the hospital doesn't have much security that can't be bypassed by being invisible or creating an illusion. There was a locked door to the wing, but…"

"It was in the way of true love," Tem said happily.

"Right. Creepy," said AEGIS flatly.

"You didn't come just to visit me, did you? Last I heard, you were in...Vegas was it?"

"Oh no. We had this whole trip, and I thought, hey, if we were out here, why not swing by and see how Athan's doing." She laughed and stroked one of her pigtails of braided-cable hair.

"Oh. Well, not good."

"I see that."

"Oh, this is nothing, I'll be out of here today. I just meant in general."

"I thought...you were doing well. You got your dream accomplished, got the P-Force, which I still can't believe you named it. We saw you say it on the news, and I was like, he did not."

"Yeah. No, that's...that's going along. Even captured Saga, she's in a house in the mountains alone, so that's good."

"So what's wrong?"

I looked at her, she pushed up her glasses with a small worried frown as she met my gaze. I realized why she looked different, she was almost exactly the girl in the holo now. The boob reduction was obvious, but the glasses, the slight thinning of her face and arms, the almost-imperceptible freckles, it was the same face I'd seen almost every night before I went to bed.

"You really are AEGIS now, aren't you?"

"Huh?"

"You've put a lot of work into looking like you did in the holo. You even have the same mannerisms, talk the same...it's like I remember you when we first met, before you started becoming more of an AI, and that whole fiasco."

"You...you really think so?" she said, and blushed enormously, using adjusting her glasses as an excuse to shield her face from me for a moment.

"Yeah. It's really cute."

"O-oh! It's nothing. Just something I, y'know, threw together in the workshop. This old thing, ha, ha."

"Your dress even looks the same. Although uh, you should uh."

She followed my gaze down to where her dress had ridden up a little when she sat, giving me a lot of the outside of her thigh to see. Apparently she had the dark circles on the sides of her hips as well, barely visible under the edge of her dress, and barely visible through the almost-sheer fabric.

She clutched at it and pulled it down desperately. "You are such a perv!" she shouted at me.

"Chariot is a perfect gentleman!" Tem argued, and I shoved her back onto the floor again.

"Sorry. I just noticed and had to mention it. Ah, what were we talking about?"

"Why your life sucks."

"Yeah. Okay. Well." I took a deep breath. "I want to start by saying that yesterday, Karu dumped me."

"You were going out!?" she almost yelled.

"We were, but you'll notice I started with the part where she dumped me, because I knew you'd react this way if I started at the start."

"I can't believe it." AEGIS simmered. "She wanted you dead, remember?"

"People change, AEGIS. If I can continue--"

"That rocket loving bitch. I'll tell her where she can fly off to. Where is she, Athan? Where is she so I can kick her ass!"

I wasn't sure if she wanted to kick her ass for dating me or for dumping me but that was neither here nor there. "AEGIS, listen, please. She dumped me. We're not a thing. As of yesterday."

She took a deep breath, and then nodded.

"We were only dating for a week or so. I had...a lot of fun with her, but apparently she was afraid that if we stayed together...she or I would do something stupid on a battlefield out of love, and one of us would die. That's her worst fear in the world, and she couldn't take it."

"And to make it worse," I continued, "depending on who you ask, that already happened. One of our friends died three days ago in a fight with an Exhuman. Karu and I each blame ourselves, and she thinks if we stick together...that's just how things will be for us. So she decided we can't be."

"It wasn't either of you. It was me," Tem said.

"Everyone wants credit," I said. "But Mage was in charge of the op, and I was the one giving the ground orders. It was me."

To my surprise, AEGIS just wrapped me in a hug. She was amazingly warm, and surprisingly soft, considering she was a machine.

"What's this?" I asked.

"You looked like you needed one. Always blaming yourself when things don't go right. Don't be too hard on my friend, he's important to me." She let me go and sat back at the foot after a minute. "Also, you owed me that from when I was still in the box."

"Oh, yeah. I had completely forgotten."

"Look, Athan, I think Karu was a bitch, and you know that. I'm happy you broke up, and frankly shocked you got together. So I know this won't mean much coming from me, but...don't you think it's pretty messed up she just decided that you being together was scary or whatever? Like, she wasn't even going to fight to make it work?"

I started to respond but stopped myself. I wanted to defend Karu, that was my first instinct. But AEGIS wasn't wrong. I'd just be nitpicking at her argument until we were both mad at each other.

"I don't really want to talk about it," I said, shaking my head. "I don't really want...to do anything."

"I know. Heartbreak is a bitch, huh?"

"You've had your heart broken?"

She blinked at me a few times rapidly like she couldn't process what I was saying and then scowled.

"There was this guy I liked, and then he claimed he accidentally had sex with this flying bitch. It made me a little upset at the time, you could say."

"Oh. Shit. I'm sorry, AEGIS."

She looked like she was about ready to kick my ass but instead sighed and let it go.

She caught me up on her life for a little bit and then a nurse came in and let me know I was all clear to go, just don't operate any vehicles or heavy equipment for the next few hours when I might still be under the drugs.

"Hey, AEGIS? I'm...gonna go back home and just crash, I think," I said. "I'm sorry you came out here just for this."

"It's fine," she said, looking anything but. "Can I walk you back?"

"Sure, I guess."

The streets had been plowed already, but there was a ton of snow everywhere. I was a little unstable on my legs still, and leaned on her as we walked. People must have thought she was crazy to be walking around barefoot in a sundress, but wherever she stepped, she radiated enough warmth to melt the snow around her feet.

Tem trailed along behind us, presumably, invisible somewhere.

"I like the new body," I said, as I made steady progress down the sidewalk, with her practically propping me up.

"This would be a lot easier if you let me carry you."

"You're like, two-thirds my size."

"So? I bet I'm way stronger than you. Actually it's not even a bet, I know I am."

"Yeah, but we'd look ridiculous."

"Nah, everyone would just see you have a badass girlfriend."

She blanched and stopped walking, covering her mouth.

"Sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Nah, it's fine. Girl-friend, right?"

"Sure." She sighed. "Man, it sucks, though."

"What does?"

"I had this big plan. I was going to sweep you off your feet and make you fall in love with me, but if I do that now, I'm just the rebound girl. I might not even be that, I think your stalker is aiming for that position."

"Guilty!" came Tem's voice from behind us. AEGIS threw a snowball deftly which exploded against the invisible nothingness.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"Me too. You know, I'd never let you go if I got my mitts on you. Mwahaha." She used my leaning on her to pull me in close and wrap me in a one-armed hug, which made it almost impossible to walk. She gave me a cheeky grin, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Karu's a fuckin' idiot. She doesn't know what she gave up."

"Yeah she does. You can joke about it, but I'm no good for anyone, AEGIS."

"You're good for me!" AEGIS smacked Tem with another snowball, and while it exploded, I could see her face clearly outlined by the powder.

"Head shot," AEGIS commented. "And you, you shut the hell up. I think you are plenty fine, and it's pretty cruel to tell someone who loves you that their taste is total crap."

"Karu said something similar at the funeral, when I told her my life was valueless and I should have died instead of Mage."

AEGIS looked at me like I had two heads. "Fucking hell, Athan. You actually said that?"

"It's true, though."

"I don't care if you think it's true or not. You just suck at relationships."

"What?"

"No girl in the world wants to hear their man talking about how he should be dead, or how his life is meaningless. You rag on about stuff like that, of course she's going to leave you. Just how crap at this can you be?"

"I...I don't know, I never worried about that. I just said what I was thinking."

"And we all love you for being such a sweet naive boy, but seriously, you spout off all this stuff about protecting your friends, but never give a second thought to their feelings? I'm beginning to see why Karu dumped you."

"Hey!"

"Yeah, I see the hypocrisy in telling you 'just what I'm thinking', but you also told me you're not in the dating market right now, so I really don't care too much if I offend you." She looked around. "Hey, come over here," she said, and began to drag me down a side street.

"AEGIS, we're going to the Raven's Nest."

"Yeah, yeah, we'll get there. Let's take this detour."

'This detour' was a corner cafe. I didn't mind sitting inside and getting some of the cold out of me, but I had no idea why I was here or why AEGIS was getting drinks and food for us.

"Here," she said, putting a cookie in front of herself and a cup of something and pretzel in front of me. "This is a date."

"What?"

"Not a real date, dummy. We're practicing. Because you're never going to get a girl if all you talk about is how much you want to be dead."

"AEGIS, I think my problem right now is too many girls, not too few. Have you forgotten my stalking problem?"

"Can he pretend date me?" Tem asked, and I almost jumped. She was standing at the side of the high table right next to us.

"No. Shove off. This is my pretend date," said AEGIS. She delicately folded her glasses and set them on the table, and then untied both of her pigtails, letting her cable-hair fall down past the seat of the high chairs. She cleared her throat experimentally, and when she spoke, it was in a very different voice, a little rougher and lower than her normal, almost like she was halfway approximating Karu.

"Hey, thanks for coming out to meet me. I'm Mary. It's so good to meet you."

I guess we were jumping right into this. It was weird, she still looked only and exactly like AEGIS. The burning yellow eyes were kind of unmistakable.

"Uh. Hi. Nice to meet you too."

"I saw you on the holo," she said, leaning forward intently, very AEGIS-like. "They say you're an Exhuman? That sounds so exciting."

"It's...really not. It's kind of a drag, most of the time, really."

"Bzzt. Zero points," said AEGIS in her regular voice. "Don't lie, but don't be negative about things for no reason either. Again." She cleared her throat. "An Exhuman? That sounds so exciting."

"Uh, yeah, I guess it is. Probably um, doesn't pay as well as...whatever it is Mary does for a living."

"I'm a florist."

"A florist? Hey I actually know a girl who's a florist."

"Bzzt. Zero points. Do you have any idea how obnoxious it is, just walking with you today, that you won't stop talking about Karu all the damn time? When you're with a girl, be with that girl, stop thinking about everyone else in your damn harem."

"But Steffie isn't even in my 'damn harem.' She's just a friend."

"Doesn't matter. Mary doesn't know that, neither did I, this is a first date, keep it focused on her. And again. Ahem. I'm a florist."

"Oh. I guess I'm glad I didn't bring flowers?" I tried a joke, and AEGIS laughed, which was weird. I decided to give her a hard time. "I've never really talked with a florist. What's that like?"

"Oh, you know, you get plants, you take care of them, you sell them. Not really as exciting as your life, I'm sure."

"I'd still like to hear about it. What kinds of plants are your favorite?"

"Uh. The uh, roses. Did you know different color roses signify different things? Red means love, everyone knows that, but yellow roses mean friendship. Would be pretty awkward to show up with a bunch of those on a date, right?"

"Really? I didn't know that. What do orange roses represent?"

"They um…" she blinked and her eyes moved very rapidly for a second. "...energy, passion, and excitement, of course."

"You're reading this off the 'net, aren't you?"

"You're the one asking the stupid flower questions. This practice date is worthless if you don't take it seriously."

"This practice date is worthless. But I got you, at least."

"That is worth exactly one point. Continuing now."

I tried to think of something to say. So far everything had seemed just trivial and pointless. "Um, do you like sports at all?"

"No, I had a friend who did though."

"Yeah? What were they into?"

"Bzzt. Zero points. I'm obviously just being polite and answering your question but not interested. Take the hint!"

"Fine. Uh. Do you like sports at all?"

"No, I had a friend who did though."

"Oh, that's cool. I played football all through high school...I was trying to go pro, but life kind of got in the way."

"Oh, were you any good?"

"I was pretty okay, I guess. I got a scholarship for it, which meant somebody liked me."

"A scholarship, where? Did you go? What did you study?"

"Cal...UC Berkeley, that is. I didn't get a chance to go because of the Exhuman thing, unfortunately."

"Okay, ten points awarded because you managed to talk about something you liked without boring her about it. But I'm stopping us here because I wanted you to notice, I asked you three questions at once."

"Yeah, and I only answered two of them, is that it?"

"No, it's that she's interested in this. You have information she wants, and that's the sexiest thing a man can have. If a girl is asking you a lot of questions about something, she cares about that thing, so talk to her about it."

"Hmm." I mused. "You kept asking me about why I felt like crap recently."

"Hey now, the practicum is at the end of the class. Don't you go jumping ahead in the curriculum. I worked very hard on this syllabus."

"Can we call it for today? I am really not interested in dating right now, honestly."

"Whatever you want." She seemed annoyed though.

We sat and watched people going by in the snow while I drank the hot cocoa and ate the pretzel. To my surprise, she broke off a tiny piece of the cookie and ate it.

"You eat?" I asked.

"Only sorta. Turns out I have no taste adaptors...not surprising when I was never built to have a mouth...and the energy I'd get from food is...let's say insignificant to this body's requirements. Still, I added the ability to so I would look less like an outcast. At least now I can seem like an anorexic girl or something."

"Hmm." I said.

"Something the matter?"

"Yeah. Anorexia...it's not really a joke, is it?"

"Sorry, I was just...sorry."

As much as I hated Tem, as broken as I was feeling inside, I retained my awesome capacity for self-loathing. The shit I'd screamed at her, on top of the rejection which pushed her over the edge, all of it was so fucked. It was the least I could do to not joke about her actual issues right in front of her.

Even if she was invisibly stalking me on a sorta-date-thing.

I sighed. "Look, I'm going to go back, okay? Thanks for coming out."

I slid out of my seat and headed for the door. When I looked back, AEGIS was still sitting there, looking like she was trying not to look miserable.

"Catch you tomorrow?" she asked.

"Sure," I said, and closed the door.

I hated myself for doing that to her. I hated myself for a lot of things right now, and I wasn't sure I could deal with it all. I just needed to sleep and maybe this would all be better.

I walked back to the tower. It was only noon.