I held my head as I staggered my way through the conflict. I'd thought things were bad last time we were here, but since the appearance of the Oasian army, everything had turned tits-up and a hundred times worse.

Confusion was an insidious mind-killer. Humans were pretty good at dealing with extremes, even pain and death, if they had some understanding of why, and what, and what it was all for. Humans were a tribal species, and a big part of that was belonging to something bigger than themselves.

So when shit went wrong and people didn't understand what was going on or why, it had a magnifying effect on their psyche and their emotions. Pain was felt more keenly, reasoning seemed more flippant, panic spread like wildfire.

Nobody here knew what the Oasians were doing here. The XPCA never even saw them coming, and the New Edeners hardly knew that they existed. Suddenly, this conflict that nobody had really wanted had turned into an embroiled mess, and the fact that the 'Edeners had been forced to change plans twice now, from standing, to running, to fighting...that had messed with their heads.

Had messed up what little semblance of order there was in the camp. Had broken their unity, and now, instead of an army, there was just a mass of freaking-out Exhumans trapped between two other hostile forces. They'd come here to fight Justice, and this wasn't what they'd signed up for.

It was just minutes ago that I'd walked through here with Lia. Things were relatively calm then, the XPCA were still recovering from the party trick that Athan and I had pulled, knocking out their power and their heads in a one-two punch that'd impress any boxing judge.

Now? It seemed like a race for every Exhuman to be dumping as much of their powers into anyone nearby. I was doing my best to make myself invisible, the convenience of mentally making myself not my problem to those who faced me. But even so.

I had six unique entries to put in my death diary. Organs growing until they burst, that one was fun because my vision got all distorted when my eyes went. The ground chewing me up like a hungry fault-line. Had a tree literally grow through me, a branch sprouted straight through my anus, not the kind of wood I wanted back there. Some exotic beam that melted my insides. Sliced up by a torrent of what seemed like bees made of metal. And swamp gas.

My deaths were really the least of my worries. It was the hundreds going on around me every second that were getting to me. I'd come to stop this, so I was doing my fucking best to keep my mind open and still people's hands where I could, but keeping an open mind right now would make me literally insane from the suffering.

Instead, I found myself putting everyone to sleep. It wasn't a good solution, it was sort of crippling their lines, I knew. But the alternative was feeling their deaths, and I really couldn't take much more of that.

With all the chaos going on, it wasn't too hard to slip through the ranks and find myself face-to-face with Khol, sitting on a fancy little throne in a room filled with steam, all dressed up with nowhere to go, as he barked through his voice-synthesizing mask into comms, his orders and demands.

"Hey," I said to him with a casual wave. When that didn't grab his attention, I snapped my fingers with a mental spike that caused him to lose his train of thought.

"Who's this? Who are you?" he barked. "You're not from the city."

"Oh I don't know. I spent some time there. Name's Saga."

"What do you want, Saga? I'm very busy."

"I want two things. See, I'm a friend of a girl, I think you know her as Black Shark."

"...Shark?" He jumped to his feet. "Where the fuck is she? Was this her plan all along? She foresaw this death coming down on us, and that's why she abandoned me to it, didn't she? It was all part of her plan to have us slaughtered out here. Was that other army hers?"

I grinned at him. "Easy, boy. You give her too much credit."

"Or you don't give her enough. Don't you realize she's sent you wandering into the middle of a warzone? And for what," he scoffed. "Did she offer you some vague information? Lies and deceit, so you'd be wrapped around her little fingers?"

I shrugged. "On the contrary. I actually have a thing going with her where she's kinda my bitch."

"Or so you think," he spat. Wow, dude was pissy as hell about Lia. Which was kinda sad, because in her mind, she actually considered this guy a somewhat-reliable friend. Made me wonder what her less-reliable ones looked like.

"Whatever. I'm not here for you to decide my relationships. In fact, I'm actually here to decide yours."

His look darkened as much as it could through a mask. "So you're here to kill me, then."

I laughed, and wondered what, exactly Lia saw in this guy. He was pretty good at jumping to conclusions, and halfway-decent ones at that. But at the same time, every picture he saw had himself foremost in it. A decent mind, wasted on this self-centeredness.

But also, he was right. Because fuck him.

"I might not kill you, if you cooperate," I lied. "More than anything, we need to stop killing. You guys are squarely between the XPCA and the Oasians, and you're doing the most damage by far. I'mma need you to reel in your little miscreant army and stop provoking everyone into fighting."

"We're trying to escape. The armies have cut off our routes."

"Well then stop trying to escape, dumbass. You came out here for a reason, didn't you? To fight Justice? So fuckin' do that."

"That's a death sentence," he said darkly. "Shark's abandonment has made that much clear."

"Bitch, you know nothing," I told him. And then I showed him just how much nothing he knew.

I enhanced his physical senses as much as I could as I blasted his mind with the memories and sensations that Lia had just felt. I let him really wallow in the pain of it, the feeling of helplessness and uselessness, of despair cracking through all the plans she'd tried to lay.

I let him feel Lia's glimmer of hope as she had come back, hoping to sit with him, and to make plans, to put their minds together and figure out something. And then plunged him into utter darkness as he felt his own rejection of her, as he discarded her when she needed him most, because he wasn't of use to her in the moment.

But mostly, I let him burn. I forced the fire she'd felt into him tenfold. For once, there was pain on this battlefield that didn't make me wince. He thought that she was being overcautious and paranoid by demanding that order be instilled in the ranks, and then she'd faced the consequences of that lack of order. I made sure that he felt it too, that he knew exactly what his command had created.

He was gasping and holding himself, his mask clattered on the floor as sweat rolled off of him. His breaths were short and wheezing, and his hands clutched at his shoulders, still able to move in a way that Lia could never do.

When I finally relented, he was pale and writhing, staring at me with wide, bloodshot eyes, without a shred of the dignity or poise he'd treasured so dearly when he first sat on that fucking stolen throne.

"That was one," I told him. "Ready for two?"

He just gasped as I ripped open his mind. I was not subtle about weaving this compel. I didn't care if the vessel it was placed in survived. This fucker had just thrown Lia aside when he thought she didn't have any more use. I could do the same.

Perhaps I could have rewritten him to act as the Vox Humanus that Lia wanted him to be. Or at least, forced my own set of orders into his brain that might have kept things together.

But that was too good for him. Even as a puppet, he didn't deserve the leadership he craved. Issuing orders, even as a mouthpiece, that was what he craved, and him being even the slightest bit satisfied wasn't going to fly.

So instead, I cracked his brain wide open and rewrote him to feed me exactly how Vox would behave. I broke his stupid little mind and turned him into a fancy-ass speaker system that could tell me what I needed to say and think, and how to sound.

And once I'd done that, I grinned to myself. And I opened myself up to him, and to the Exhumans around me.

[Brothers and Sisters!] he said, through me, into them. [Cease your fighting! Remember who you are.]

There was shocked silence, and not the traditional kind. Silence of thought, as every single Exhuman in broadcast range just simultaneously stunned into instant nothing. I guess voices in their head was new to these people.

[Remember your humanity. Remember why you came here. Remember Vox Humanus, and your role within it. When you spoke with another, was it for this? When you marched through the New Eden gates, was it for this war? When you held your brothers and sisters, and your tears and love flowed for the pains you shared and the humanity you thought lost, was it to become exactly what they had made you?]

I didn't exactly follow, and neither did the listeners, but that was okay. It was affecting them all the same, conjuring up memories and imagery that was all very moving and potent. More importantly, people were getting ahold of themselves. People were once again believing that there was a plan for them, they were slipping from the grasp of confusion and fear.

[Each of us has been forced to do unthinkable things, but that was in the past. This is the present -- this is here, now. You only have this moment to live, to self-determine who and what you are. Choose not to be the monster hiding under the bed that they paint us. Be a man. Be a woman. Be a human being. Stand with me now. Stand and still your arms, save your strength for when the true enemy of humanity comes.]

[Brothers and sisters. Stand with me.]

Vox Humanus collapsed where I'd left him, his mind burnt out and only faintly buzzing. At the end of his proclamation, he was done for. Used-up and worthless.

I hung the mask back on his face before I left. And I found the world outside transformed.

There was awe now. There was something bigger than these people, which had taken root in their hearts once again. Each of them had once been swayed by Vox, and him speaking directly to them, in their hearts and minds, it was more than most could handle. They were whispering to each other, confirming that they had all shared this unexplainable touch.

It was, I thought, a bit like coming face-to-face with one's own god. Not that anyone here was under any delusions of just how divine Vox was. But it was approximate.

And effective. Order was restored in an instant. The Exhumans were manning their lines, not pushing them. Attacks were only launched to hold the defenses, not being thrown out wildly. And I could already see the XPCA shoring up their defenses, taking advantage of the reprieve to withdraw and reinforce. And the Oasians, basically animals, reflexively stopped the instant they were no longer under attack.

With the death of one fucking bastard, the battlefield knew peace for a moment. His life probably spared thousands.

Or not, depending on how long this thing dragged on, and just what exactly Justice did when he got here. But I'd managed what I came here to do, and that only left me with what I wanted to do.

I found somewhere secluded and dialed up Rito. Like a ghost flickering away, I found the consciousnesses and pains of the battlefield disappeared, long before I realized I was elsewhere.

And it just felt good. Felt good not to be under attack like that anymore. Without even thinking about it, I found myself sprawled on the asphalt of the street, the ground still hot despite how long it'd been dark now, my body just a reflection of the relief and relaxation of my mind.

I tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about anything, just...let it all go, let it all flow out of me and down the gutter and far away.

Tried not to cry. Failed, real bad.

I was glad the city was evacuated. I'd have been mortified if someone had come across me bawling in the streets like some lost little girl. And I was mad at myself for doing so. I'd held it together so well until now, why'd I have to lose my shit now that it was all over? It made no sense. I was acting like the absence of pain was somehow more painful.

I didn't fucking get it, but that didn't mean I wasn't doing it anyway. Just a stupid, pitiful Exhuman, crying her eyes out with a dysfunctional body that didn't even produce tears. What a goddamn mess.

So it was much later, and with dry eyes that kept resetting to their pristine hydrated glossiness that I finally sat up, took stock of myself, and dragged my feet under me.

Even if nobody else thought it was worth it, there was something I still wanted to do. Something massive, but untouchable. The kind of thing that could tremendously impact the world.

Plus...I just wanted to fucking do it. I wasn't satisfied with failure, never had been...but this was beyond anything I'd done before. This was a direct challenge to my status as master of the mind. For there to be a mental dilemma thrown down in front of me, that I couldn't surpass?

Well, it was downright offensive.

It took too long for me to find the right streets. I'd gotten much better at navigating when walking across the country that one time, but even then, I tended to pick directions out of people's heads instead of ever actually learning the names of things. I still couldn't tell you which highway I took, just the landmarks on it, and the people who'd passed me by on it.

But eventually, I felt its presence and knew I was there. Just a block further, and the little pagoda came into sight.

[Hello, Bob,] I said to the mind. [I'm back. Miss me?]

Bob, of course, said nothing. He didn't think or react to my speaking to him, the very opposite of the Exhumans I'd just doused with sublime, superhuman awe.

[Of course not, you big bastard. You don't know anything, do you?]

I looked around the small park. If you were someone other than me, I guess you could have imagined this place was just in ordinary nightfall, all the San Francisco residents asleep in their beds.

I knew better, of course. This was really my first time being here. Normally, I was looking at minds, not places, and so it was somehow still new for me to be in this park and see what was in it.

[I bet you have no idea everyone's gone.]

The pagoda was a confused mess of religions. It was ancient, that much was obvious. Parts of it had been replaced over the years, and it was relatively freshly painted an obnoxious shade of red-orange, with gold trim. AEGIS had said that it was a hindu shrine, but had also mentioned that this was once Chinatown, before the war, and I suspected the shrine was a relic from that era. But this was much more a Japanese neighborhood now, them and the whites, and so there were ropes and paper things hung up that I recognized from Buddhism or Shinto or something in that cultural wheelhouse.

And the wooden placard in the middle. Broken english, telling me to make a wish, and it will come true. I had to wonder how many such signs were posted on fountains, wells, shrines, and other bullshit across San Francisco...across the states, or the world. And how many of those wishes ever did come true. How many of those places had their own Bob-intelligence lurking deep below, undetectable to all but me.

[It's just like you're here to aggravate me,] I told him. [Like you're just there to drive me nuts. Why can't you be a little more responsive, eh? Girls like that you know. Nobody wants a dead fish.]

Nothing. Of course. Although, I thought I might have lost him. He was so far down there that he was just at the edge of my range, and it was frustrating to think that maybe half of my efforts were in vain because I kept slipping away from him.

I sat down, like that little shift in elevation was going to mean something. And then, because I didn't know what else to do, after all the hours I'd sat here, thinking at him, already, I got on my knees and prayed to the little shrine here.

I didn't know any prayers aside from Christian ones, and I sure as shit didn't believe in that God. There wasn't a huge amount of religious diversity in the soldiers who'd effectively been my teachers, before I blew them all to hell...and if there had been, I wasn't looking out for it at the time.

So I just did what I could. To each of the mish-mashed faiths that were present here, I offered up a little prayer. And before long, I found my mind somewhere I hadn't planned.

I felt childish and stupid, babbling to Buddha about my personal shit. But wasn't that exactly what prayer was?

[...and please...look after those who are suffering in Vegas. Ease their pain. Nobody deserves that kind of torment.]

I shook my head, feeling empty inside. I didn't think prayer was supposed to be so...exhausting. It felt like I was working a hairball out of my system.

[And for Athan and Lia. And AEGIS. Even Karu, I guess. Please see them safely through. You know...I guess...being a divine spirit and whatever...exactly what they all mean to me. I just...I don't want to lose anyone else, okay? Thank you. And um, amen?]

Nothing happened. Because of course, nothing happened. If prayer fixed anything, the world wouldn't be a shitshow. And yet, I was still disappointed.

[I guess nobody's listening, Bob,] I sighed, as I untucked my legs and laid down on the cold wood. The ground was smooth under my fingertips from unknowable numbers of people who'd come and prayed in this spot. Amazing and special as I was, I guess I was just the next in a long line of people who'd come before.

Bob missed half my thoughts because he'd slipped away again, and I tutted my irritation.

[Fuck's sake, Bob, hold still for once. I wish you wouldn't bob around so much, even if it is your name.]

I chuckled at my joke, because nobody else was going to.

I guess I really was lonely and stupid. I probably would have had a bigger impact on things if I'd stayed in Vegas. Looking back at it now, I guess that was the way to go.

I frowned at the wooden roof above me. So not-at-all like the reaching branches of a tree. Easy for me to say now, but when I was there, I was drowning. The pain and death was all-consuming, it was all I could do to keep myself together, to take it out on Khol, and even Athan, when I'd bitched him out. Easy to look over from here and say 'sure, I should have done that differently'. As easy as looking at the waves and thinking 'those aren't so big, I could swim that.'

I sighed and closed my eyes. [Maybe you've got the right idea, Bob. Just hide underground, and nothing will ever hurt you. Have no thoughts, and you'll never be torn or confused. I wonder, if Athan had never come by, in a few hundred years, would I be just like you?]

Doubtful. I kind of suspected that Bob didn't have a rack like I did, even if each of the other girls put me to shame. That was one thing I'd always have that he didn't.

I grinned at the ceiling with my eyes still shut.

[I'm a fuckin' idiot, Bob. Look at me, lying here, screwing around, while the world I know is ending. Because I'm too damn chicken to go back out there and do something about it. Because it's easy for me to say I don't care, whatever happens, I'll outlive it. But I do care, don't I? Even if he's a piece of shit, Khol went out there intending to fight and die on Black Shark's plans. And I just fuckin' left. What a piece of shit I am.]

Bob, to his credit, did not judge me.

[You've become a very good listener. Better than the gods, I think.]

He was also humble enough not to agree when I flattered him.

And then I realized, he had become a very good listener. He'd stopped bobbing in and out of my powers, he'd stayed firmly rooted where I could feel the non-existent wisps of his mind.

I puzzled over that for a minute. And when I came up empty, I closed my eyes even harder and reached within myself to relive the memories exactly as they were.

And boy, was I pathetic. The only thing worse than being me was watching me be me. Oof.

I sat bolt upright as the memory played back in my head, dispersing it in a fog of thought. No. It couldn't be that simple.

But I checked, AEGIS-style. I verified, that the moment he'd stopped bobbing up and down was the moment I wished that he do so.

My mouth was dryer than usual, and that wasn't something my resetting saw fit to fix. It felt difficult to swallow as I contemplated hard about what next I would think or say.

I was still a coward, I knew. On some level, I definitely just wanted to turn around and not stir up this potential hornet's nest. Everyone had warned me about the dangers of fucking with Bob, and now I felt like I had the key in my hands to open that door and let the monster out.

Could I control him? His mind wasn't even a thing. But if I wished for it...would that work? I'd solved the puzzle, I could walk way now, satisfied that nobody had outsmarted Saga in the end.

I swallowed again.

I wasn't here to just vindicate my own ego, right? I was here...because Bob could make a difference. Because we needed to explore every avenue to fight Justice. Even the dangerous, non-existent minds, like Bob.

Right?

Right?

I seriously considered calling up Athan on the spot and seeing what I should do, but I knew he was dealing with bigger things at the moment, real problems, not like the molehills I was mountainizing over here. I could just...do this. I could...manage...if there was a problem. I hoped.

That still left me sitting there, frightened and infirm. Just added lying to myself to the equation.

It was, finally, my mind, as though having a mind of its own, that convinced me. I was still flipping through my recent memories, and caught sight of myself praying for all those fighting and dying in Vegas. Nobody deserves that kind of torment.

I swallowed hard one last time, my mind made up. Even if I was a coward, if there was something I could do, I should do it. And if things went wrong...I'd handle it. I wouldn't run away. I'd fight as hard as everyone else.

[Bob, I wish for you to come up here, and for you to say hello.]