《I'm Just the Guard!》28: Bodily Functions
Advertisement
I was starting to regret agreeing to let Frost have the quiver. I didn't have any use for it - I didn't know how to shoot a bow, after all - but watching him lovingly fondle the worn wood, caressing the crudely engraved words in the material was...unnerving to say the least.
"Frost," I called. "You're being weird with that thing. Stop."
He didn't even spare me a glance, merely rolling his eyes as he hugged it close to his chest. "You're just jealous because all you have is some stupid spear!"
I frowned, hefting my weapon up and onto my shoulder as I stepped toward him. He flinched backward, eyes widening as I got closer. "You wanna test how stupid this thing is?"
"...That's just an expression," he mumbled, fumbling for my - well, now his - dagger at his belt.
Snorting, I turned back to my spot, only to feel something warm and wet trickle down my leg. I froze, whipping my spear around in preparation for a [Charge]. I didn't feel any pain nor could I see any arrow sticking out of my leg.
[Lesser Radar] also hadn't gone off; no one was invading so I hadn't been attacked.
But I was sure the fluid sliding down my inner thigh and into my boots was blood - what else could it be? Something in my pants must have cut me hard enough to draw blood.
All I needed to do was remove it so the healing process could begin.
I removed my belt and unbuckled the straps on my gambeson, lifting the heavy wool fabric up above my stomach.
Huh. Who knew I had abs? A four-pack looks good on me. Granted, I'm not gonna be stupid enough to admire myself often in this blizzard. I'm not that much of a narcissist.
Advertisement
Wincing as sharp snow crystals attacked my bare skin, I quickly pulled back my trousers and searched for whatever had cut me. My legs, however, were free of blood and blemish. There was nothing there.
"Weird," I muttered, sliding my hand into my pants. Numb fingers touched the warm liquid coating the inside of my legs. I pulled it out, dropping my gambeson as I sniffed my hand.
A pungent odor forced its way through my nostrils, catching me off guard. Gagging, I wiped my hand off on the bottom of my gambeson. Whatever that stuff was, it smelled awful.
Note to self: don't smell mysterious fluids that come out of my body ever again.
As I started fixing my clothes, I heard Frost's boots crunching through the snow.
"Hey, Flake?" he called.
"What?"
"My stomach feels weird."
I spun on the spot, concerned that something might've slipped past [Lesser Radar] but he was...fine. Frowning, I punched his shoulder, knocking him back a couple of steps.
"Hey!" he complained, rubbing the spot where I'd hit him. "What was that for?"
"Getting me worked up over nothing," I snapped back. "Now get back to your post and stop bothering me."
"But I wasn't-"
"We could have another training session if you don't wanna leave."
Frost scowled, adjusting his bow as he slowly retreated. As he turned, I heard him mutter, "That stick is so far up his ass..."
Picking up my spear, I called after him, "What was that?"
He hunched his shoulders, keeping his back to me. "Nothing!"
Rolling my eyes, I went back to keeping watch.
Advertisement
- In Serial8 Chapters
Glass Cannon: A Dungeon Apocalypse Litrpg
In the year 2043, Earth was forever changed by the arrival of the Dungeons. They abruptly came into being all across the world, taking millions of lives and disrupting billions more. With it came the System, depicting a message: “Universal Quest Unlocked: Clear the Dungeons. Reward: The continuation of Humanity.” 16 year old Dalton Blake is half-asleep in English class when a Dungeon appears right beneath his high school, swallowing it whole. He is forcefully thrust into this new world of magic and monsters, stats and skills, villains and heroes. Will he survive or succumb? Post Schedule: Mon - Friday, 7pm EST
8 64 - In Serial21 Chapters
The Overpowered Demon Princess Has Left Her World To Help An Author Write Her Story
You've heard all the scary, gothic tales about the Demon Lord. In fact, you humans will root for the Hero who will defeat & SLAY THE DEMON LORD~ Well that's not the case for Branshire's Hero, Francis Goodlight, who's quite demanding & overconfident, not to mention he's so narcissistic, that he can slay all those Demon Generals in a short time. That's until he got beaten by a beautiful young-looking woman with purple hair, who admits she's living in the Demon Lord's castle. Furious of being humiliated of his defeat in front of his regular pub, the Hero makes his way to the castle to slay her. Except she was gone with a note saying: "I'm gonna need an author to write my story so please don't bother me." And when he arrives in the new world she's in, the Arrogant Hero/Plank is in for a ride of a slice-of-life(time) of being more unfortunate than The God of Poverty.
8 134 - In Serial41 Chapters
Evolution of the Twin Xenomorphs
This story starts off with the double suicide of two twins who wanted to escape the life they lived. The death they thought to be the end, was only the beginning of a much longer and adventurous life. Follow the twins as they travel to various worlds within the vast multi-verse, carving a unique path of Evolution, reaching beyond the 'perfect specimen' and achieving something greater. 1-4 daily releases.
8 133 - In Serial20 Chapters
Trash No More
Jake went from a promising disciple of the sect to trash because of a problem with his Dantian. All his possessions had been stolen after it was learned he could not cultivate and he was forced to do all the menial and humiliating tasks in the sect. Could he fix his dantian and become a cultivator? Hi all. This is my first attempt at writing a novel. Please bear with me and give me your honest opinion. If you like reading the book please follow for updates! Cheers
8 110 - In Serial80 Chapters
The Brotherhood Archive:Crossroads(Revised)
All people great or small have a story - Patriarch Lord Theris'Heron Soletus, was on the verge of becoming a warden in the Dias Brotherhood until his father holds him back. Instead of proving his skill with culling monsters that plague the land, he is given an assignment different assignment. It isn't one that test doesn’t test his physical strength, but his strength of character. He is paired up with a shy and traumatized boy name Mien. Between Mien’s anxious behavior and the crime he committed, Soletus doesn’t know what to do or what to think. He wasn’t trained for the duty he is performing and has no idea if he is doing the right thing. However, when Soletus’s resolve to help starts to waiver, Mien does something unexpected and Soletus decides that the boy deserves a second chance not as an act of duty but as a friend. Hy'Ruh-Ha is a what I consider a chronicle fantasy. It is a fantasy drama coming of age story inspired by slice-of-life stories I've read and watched. It is heavy on the slice-of-life and does move slow. It is low-stakes fantasy. This particular story is romance free.(2 out the of 4 is re-uploaded under this title) And if you are someone who cares, the POV character is asexual. Crossroad(formally labeled as the intermission stories)- is a novella collection continuing the tale where Hy'ruh-Ha. The collection as followed: Wolf- After spending several months in the swamp post, Oeric'Sheldmartin returns to repair the chasm between him and his son, Soletus. However, a ghost from his past comes to haunt him and could ruin the life he's made completely. Note: Wolf is a bit of a character piece. POV character is Oeric. The Priest and the Priestess- A novella written in the POV of Mien and then Kiao after a series of unexpected events that change their lives. Mien's POV- Mien has spent the last couple of years working not only in the infirmary but training to become a combat chanter as part of his penitence. Then one day, a drug addled elf comes into infirmary and changes his perspective of a friend and puts his knowledge to the tests to figure out a mystery effecting children in town. *Spoiler warning* Kiao's POV- Kiao spent most of her time in the infirmary living the same daily secret filled life and until Mien changed it. Now she has to figure out her future in ways she never thought she would. I'm going for a Tues and Thurs day schedule for the re-upload. I may or may not stick in extra days.
8 204 - In Serial39 Chapters
Winter Solstice Mini Awards 2022 (Closed!)
Hello Everyone! As we all know, the holiday season is coming, and many traditions are being celebrated! However, some similarity is the celebration of Winter Solstice! This is why I welcome you to the Winter Solstice Mini Awards 2022! Which will be the last awards on the Philosopher Awards page for 2022! This award will be small, and writers with stories that have less than 5k reads will be allowed to sign up! I want more people's work to be noticed!Vampire/Werewolf slots are still open.
8 80

