《We Don't Want to be Main Characters!》Short - Kazama's Wonderful Chest
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“Kazama! Kazama!”
Kazama grimaced as Adam burst into his room.
“One of my bookshelves broke.”
“…Ok?”
“Do you have anything that can fix it.” Adam pointed at Kazama’s bed. “Anything magic?”
“Be a proper role model and fix it yourself.”
“What, you want a role model?” Adam snorted. “Find the best tool for the job. That’s what a real adult does.”
Adam stepped past Kazama and retrieved the black chest hidden under the boy’s bed.
“I know you and Belle have been hoarding magic items. Lend me one that can fix my shelf.”
“Fine.” Kazama huffed. “You won’t leave until I give you something, right?”
Adam’s son wrestled the chest away from his father and unlocked it. After rooting around for a few seconds, Kazama produced an intimidating pair of gloves. The blood red leather seemed to glow ominously. Six deflated fingers squirmed lightly under Kazama’s tight grip.
“These are called devil’s fingers.” Kazama explained. “Wearing them will give you superhuman dexterity and precision. You could build a dozen bookshelves in the time it takes to buy a new one.”
“That’s amazing!”
“-But if you ever take them off, or wear them for over 24 hours, you’ll have an aneurism and die.”
“So I’m dying either way? Don’t recommend something so dangerous.”
“They’re all like that.” Kazama retorted as he pulled out another item. “This is a magic top hat. If you put it on your bookshelf, the wood will repair itself.”
“But…?”
“It will also gain sentience.”
“That seems unethical.”
“Well, if you don’t want to hurt anyone else, then you can just wish for it to be fixed.” Kazama said as he retrieved a severed monkey’s paw.
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“Oh, I’ve heard of that! It grants your wish, but there’s always a terrible catch.”
“Yup.”
“Rejected.”
Adam began looking through the chest while Kazama paused to think.
“You have two monkey’s paws?” Adam asked, holding up a slightly larger paw.
“I wouldn’t touch that without gloves.”
Adam noticed a tag tied to the pinky finger. It read;
Bonobo’s paw. Speak to have your wish granted.
Wish side effects: None.
Grantable Wishes: Hand jobs.
Adam flung it back into the chest and shuddered. “Why do you have something like that?”
“Belle tried wishing for a better monkey’s paw. Obviously we haven’t used it, but who knows where the original conjured it from.”
Adam stood up. “Ok, I think I’ve had enough. I’ll just fix it myself.”
“Actually, wait.” Kazama raised one hand and dug through his chest with the other. “There’s something I’ve been trying to get rid of. Use this reset dust.”
Kazama pulled out a blue hand-sized sack. The silk fabric had a pair of backwards arrows embroidered on its front and back. Kazama loosened the neck to reveal fine baby blue crystals. Without the fancy packaging, Adam might have mistaken it as gimmicky table salt.
“Take a pinch of this and throw it at the bookshelf.”
“O-Ok…” Adam reluctantly held out his hand.
At that moment, the rug in Kazama’s room suddenly reared up like a horse. Kazama had forgotten to put the top hat back in his chest, but that mistake was far from his most pressing concern. The carpet’s movement knocked him over, spilling the dust.
“NO!” Kazama yelled.
Then, everything went white.
“Kazama! Kazama!”
Kazama grimaced as Adam burst into his room. They continued to repeat this exchange until Shelly called them down for dinner.
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