“What do you think I should do?” Kano asked, talking to Nove at the door. They’d set Seventy-Two’s body down on the street outside, and Kano had let Sherp leave. Now that Kano had the body here, she wasn’t sure what to do with it. Bring it inside for the rest of the children to see?

Nove frowned. “I’m not sure I know the children well enough to know how they might react. They don’t seem to fear death, but…”

“Then bring me Thirty-Six,” Kano said. “I’ll ask them instead.”

Glancing at the bloodied mess by Kano’s side, Nove stepped outside. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Maybe it’d be better if none of them saw this.”

“I can’t say for sure with the others, but I think Thirty-Six will be fine with it. They’re tough.”

Nove didn’t look too convinced, but she went back inside to fetch Thirty-Six. Orienting herself so she obscured the wrapped body behind her, Kano waited. The door swung open, and Thirty-Six stepped out. Nove gave her a nod and closed the door behind them.

“What is it?” Thirty-Six asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“I just got back from looking for Seventy-Two,” Kano said. “I managed to find her, but… she was already dead. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, okay.” Thirty-Six yawned. “Why did you need to speak with me?”

“The body was…” Kano cleared her throat and corrected herself. “Her body was mutilated to the point where she’s no longer recognizable. I wasn’t sure if I should show it to the others.”

Leaning to the side, Thirty-Six peeked at the body. “Why not?”

“Don’t you think it might upset them?” Kano asked, brows knitting in confusion. “Seeing her like this?”

“Not really. Things like that happened all the time where we used to live. Before you came and rescued us. If anything, it’s strange that you’re so concerned. I didn’t think you cared about stuff like this.”

Kano stared down at them, her mouth open. Why was she acting like this? She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt bad about someone dying. The very idea of it seemed ridiculous. Then what was this sense of despair that Seventy-Two’s death had brought her? Was it because they were her property? No, that didn’t explain it. Urick’s death wouldn’t have upset her.

Holding her head in her trembling hands, she scratched at her scalp. Nothing made sense anymore… Was there nothing she could be sure of? With a jolt, she realized there was one thing: She needed a drink, something to quiet her mind. Her thoughts rampaged within her head, outside her control. She wanted to get out of here and go down to Aru-Aru’s.

But looking at the dead little ghoul with Thirty-Six beside her, she knew it would have to wait. There was still work to do. “Bring Nove back here,” she said, and Thirty-Six went off to fetch her.

Once Nove arrived, Kano got her to bring what remained of Seventy-Two inside. Moving quietly so as not to wake up the other children, they took the body to Kano’s room. She figured that, at least, could wait until tomorrow. No sense waking them all up for it.

Lying on Kano’s bed, Thirty-Six was already half asleep. Kano felt a flicker of irritation that she was sleeping here, as if it was only natural, but she decided that she could stay. At least for tonight. Setting the body down, Nove was moving to leave when Kano stopped her. “I want to talk to you.”

“What about?”

“About me,” Kano said. She glanced at Thirty-Six and added, “But not here. Let’s talk out front.”

Standing on the dark street, Nove said, “Well? What do you want to know?”

“Why am I…” Kano tried to think of how to sum up everything she’d been going through. “Like this?” It was a poor explanation, but it was the best she could come up with. Was she also becoming stupid on top of everything else?

“You’re going back to how you used to be, or something kind of like it.”

“How I used to be? What’re you talking about? I never used to be like this. This is something new… whatever it is.”

Nove sighed. “Listen to me. We’ve known each other for a long time. Trust me when I say you used to be a very different person. Sometimes you remember little bits of who you used to be, but in the end… you always forget. Then you go back to being as heartless as the rest of the world.”

This is how she was before? It was hard to believe. Kano knew her memory wasn’t the greatest but… could she have forgotten her former self? And even previous episodes of returning to her previous self? All the questions were making her head hurt. But there was one at the root of it all. “Why do I keep forgetting?”

Nove lowered her gaze to the floor. “I don’t know. I wish I did, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it, but I just can’t figure it out.”

“It’s, uhh,” Kano said, licking her lips, “not the drugs, is it?”

Nove shook her head. “I can’t imagine they help, but it was something that started a long time before that.”

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” The thought of living her life stuck in this absurd loop of not knowing who she was terrified her.

“I’ve tried everything I could think of. The only thing left is…” She trailed off, and Kano could see they’d both come to the same conclusion.

“To ask a necromancer,” Kano said.

“I’m not in favor of it. But… it might be the only way if you want to make yourself right again.”

“What am I meant to do instead? Just live like this?”

Nove frowned. “It would be great if they could cure you… but it’s a big risk. There’s no guarantee you won’t end up dead.”

“I know, but it’ll probably be fine. Yon seems trustworthy enough.”

“So what are you going to do?” Nove asked, spreading her hands. “I’m not comfortable with you going alone, but one of us should probably stay with the children.”

“It’ll be fine. I’ll take Urick with me. It’s about time I got some use out of him anyway. I went to a lot of effort to earn him.”

“Weren’t you going to kill him?”

“Don’t worry about the details,” Kano said with a grin, and she went off to fetch her servant.

He wasn’t too happy about being woken up, something which he made abundantly clear. But it was easily dealt with by ordering him to change his attitude. Even if she didn’t find him very useful, his obedience was laudable.

As a show of goodwill, she even allowed him to arm himself with an old rifle she’d left around the house. He’d probably still be useless in a fight, but it seemed to make him feel better. For some reason, venturing out into the wilderness at night with just the two of them frightened him. Kano didn’t much understand it, but she supposed that was the way with cheap ghouls.

They all had their little flaws. Kano figured it must have something to do with the way they were manufactured. Not that she could remember how that was done. The way to Yon’s was easier the second time around, what with them knowing where they were going and all. But they didn’t make it far before Kano’s exhaustion caught up with her. The desire for answers had kept her going up to this point, but as her eyelids drooped, the desire wore thin. It could wait. The answers would still be there tomorrow.

Clearing the debris from a street corner, Kano lay down on the cracked concrete beneath. She ordered Urick to stand watch and closed her eyes. After what felt like only a few moments of rest, Urick woke her by crouching down in front of her and whispered something.

“What?” she mumbled.

“I said, I think there’s something out there.” He was facing away from her with his rifle braced against his shoulder, scanning the ruins now illuminated by the morning sun. Kano was surprised to find how much time had passed. She felt no less tired.

Yawning, she sat up. “What’s the problem? You have a gun, don’t you? Why’d you have to wake me up?”

“I didn’t think you’d much appreciate being killed in your sleep if I were to fail to hold off whatever’s out there.”

There was a certain logic to what he was saying, even Kano’s semi-conscious mind could see that. But she could also see that he was too jumpy. “It’s probably nothing. Let me sleep.”

“It’s not nothing,” Urick said, clenching his teeth. “I don’t know what it was, but I definitely saw movement out there.”

Was this a result of his conditioning? Some sort of hypervigilance? If it was intentional, then it was damn annoying. She’d like to have a word with whoever thought it was a good idea. A word, and enough time to beat her misgivings into them. “So what? Am I supposed to go out there and chase after whatever it is you think you saw?”

Urick shrugged. “It wouldn’t hurt you to take a look. If whatever it was is still out there, you should be able to find it.”

“Fine,” Kano said, rolling her eyes. “If it’ll shut you up, I’ll take a look.”

She stomped her way through the rubble in the direction Urick had been facing. “Anyone out there?” she shouted. She heard something scraping against the concrete. It sounded like someone shifting their posture, perhaps preparing to spring? Well, they were welcome to try. But there was no further movement, so Kano went to them.

Circling around to where she’d heard the noise, she came at them from what should be their back. She stepped behind the rubble they’d concealed themselves by and found one of the children. Staying hidden, it didn’t seem like they’d noticed her behind them yet. Kano wasn’t sure how she knew, but she could tell it was Thirty-Six. Creeping up until she was right behind them, she whispered in their ear, “Hey.”

They jumped in surprise but quickly regained their composure. “Good morning,” Thirty-Six said with a strained attempt at an innocent smile.

Folding her arms, Kano tapped her foot on the ground. “Just felt like you had to come along, huh?”

Thirty-Six nodded, eyes downcast. It was probably just a trick of the light, but for a moment Kano thought the little ghoul’s gray eyes changed color. They looked almost like hers, a mixture of blue and green.

“Well, I don’t have all day,” Kano said, yawning, “so you’d best get a move on.” She walked away without bothering to see if Thirty-Six was following, though she paid close attention to the sound of their footsteps as they did so.

“Here’s your monster,” Kano called to Urick, gesturing over her shoulder toward Thirty-Six.