THE WAYS OF THE TWO

Lynne and Thalia were standing in front of a shop inside a small town near the borders. The town the shop was in was relatively populated – mainly because it was the only one around – and it made the shop rather prosperous, and its catalog filled to brim. As the two entered through the doors slowly, they were besieged by the flashing lights of dozens of items sitting on shelves, gated off by glass containers. From small knives to gigantic battleaxes, everything on display shined for some reason.

The two took walked over to the nearby shelf as a woman in the distance began approaching them; however, they ignored her and instead focused on items… and prizes.

“Bullshit!!” Lynne suddenly exclaimed as his eyes focused on a small plaque beneath a strange vase, reading 100,000 Mana Stones. “What the hell do they think this vase is? Container of Souls? Where all the Souls of all the freaks of nature are captured? 100,000?! My ass!! A heaven filled with mature maidens to brim isn’t worth that much!” the woman approaching them slightly paused as she coughed lightly, drawing attention from the two. She immediately ignored Lynne and focused on Thalia, believing her to be the rational one.

“Welcome,” she said softly, smiling. “How can I help you?”

“You can help us by telling us that price is a fucking joke,” Thalia said bluntly, causing the woman to stagger. “If you’re going to claim that’s Ethereal Vaunted Vase, at least get the fucking color of it right. The drags across the surface aren’t at least ten thousand years old, but are clearly derived from the Western calligraphy… of today! And what’s with this description, huh? Entraps evil spirits and wards off darkness! What the hell are evil spirits? What freaking darkness?”

“…”

“300,000 for a bottle of wine?!!” Lynne exclaimed atop his lungs, causing the rest of the people inside to turn towards him. “Nectar of Gods?! Nectar of Ass! Who the hell would put up a single bottle of shitty wine people buy to just get freaking drunk for 300,000 Mana Stones?! I could shit gold until the day I die and I still wouldn’t be able to afford it!”

“Nectar of Gods? Hah!” Thalia joined him. “What a scam! Do you even know what Nectar of Gods is? It’s a special type of natural wine that needs specific, perfect container, not some cheap bottle you find in everyday trash!”

“This is Nectar--”

“Hai, who are you trying to fool?” Thalia said. “Do you think we’re idiots? I’ll have you know we’re world-renowned adventurers, known far and wide for our meticulous eye for treasure. Take this for example,” Thalia suddenly reached in her pocket and took out a small, silver needle. “This looks just like a needle, right? Hah! But it’s not! It’s actually a stealth weapon made by late, legendary smith Juno, who only ever crafted three weapons: Silverpine Needle – this priceless thing here – I-insane Sword, a legendary artifact said to carve even gods up, and what’s the third one, fellow adventurer?” she turned towards Lynne.

“Hellborn Devilarmor,” Lynne said.

“Hellborn Devilarmor, of course!” Thalia confirmed.

“Armor that truly imprisons evil spirits and wards off evil!” Lynne continued. “This needle can pierce through any object known to man. We nearly died stealing from my late grandma – who was legendary Juno’s fortieth wife, by the way – and is with great sadness that we have to sell it.”

“Hai, we need to buy a mountain!” Thalia exclaimed, looking lamentingly at the needle in her hand. “To sacrifice eleven goats to bring my dear step-brother back to life so he can teach us Levitation Magic. Once we know that, we can venture into the Ruins of Gods, a place where godly treasures are as common as weed – and find the legendary… Murder Sickle, the greatest legendary weapon ever!”

“Hah, but to buy a mountain, we too poor are,” Lynne said, lamenting equally as much. “My late grandma – who was stoned to death because she was believed to be a witch - “

“-but you said-”

“-didn’t leave me with much. And my fellow adventurer here, ai, how lamentable her fate is; raised an orphan in a loving family-”

“-wait-”

“-she had misfortune of never having a proper meal,” Lynne sighed, looking pitiably at Thalia. “Which is why, as you can see, she’s so malnutritioned.”

“No-wait-is-is she?” the woman stuttered in confusion as she sought ways to get rid of the two.

“So, it is truly with great sadness that we must part ways with the legendary Zulu Needle,” Thalia said. “The monstrous weapon that can inflict anyone with a deadly curse for all eternity! Ah, how sad are you, fellow adventurer?”

“So sad, so very sad, fellow adventurer.” Lynne said. “How much did my dear grandma estimate this legendary weapon at?”

“Ah, I believe she never did; poor thing got beheaded all too soon,” Thalia said, sadness painted across her eyes. “But the plaque where we found the legendary needle at, written by legendary inspector Inspectee, read 500,000 didn’t it?”

“Ah, you’re quite right; my poor grandma, how lamentable her fate is! Inspector Inspectee was – nay, is – a truly remarkable, legendary, astonishing, unbelievable figure. Ah how correct he is in everything he says.”

“Ah, indeed…”

“…” silence emerged.

“…” and more of it.

“…” and five minutes passed.

“… so you wish to sell the needle to us?” the woman asked, straining her smile as much as she could.

“Yes.” Lynne and Thalia replied in unison.

**

Lynne and Thalia were sitting on a bench underneath a tree, their expressions somewhat sunk as the two played with small purses in their hands.

“Ah, that was terrible,” Thalia sighed. “We’ve only got 200,000 for it. It was you with the fucking Hellborn Devilarmor. Who the hell names their item ‘Hellborn Devilarmor’?”

“Me? Me?! What about brilliant Insane Sword you named?!” Lynne barked back. “Insane Sword? What are you? Illiterate?”

“Insane Sword is a perfectly fine name! It’s Insane, hence dangerous!” Thalia said.

“… ugh, yeah it is. Ah, who are we kidding? We’re lucky they were dumb enough to give us anything. We really should have planned our story before we actually started selling it.” Lynne said as he leaned back onto the bench and sighed.

“Yeah, it was pretty dumb,” Thalia said as she did the same. “How many times have we had to desecrate your grandma just to explain something?”

“Yeah, poor thing will never find peace.”

“Should we get back to others?” she asked as she got up.

“Nah, let’s go and eat something,” Lynne said as he joined her. “I haven’t had a decent meal in a week.”

“Oh?” Thalia arched her brow as she cheekily smiled. “Could it be that the great Lynne is taking a girl out?”

“First, I’m glad you finally realized how great I am,” Lynne said, smiling. “And second, no, I’m not taking a girl out. Just a shameless brute.”

“Nope, I’m pretty sure that’s you.”

“Someone as delicate as me can be described as a brute?”

“Two days ago, you kicked a man in the crotch because he called you pretty.” Thalia said.

“Hey, that was isolated incident!”

“Okay. Yesterday--”

“I get it, I get it. Let’s just go and eat something.”

The two began slowly walking through the streets filled to brim with vendors left and right. Chatter broke out as people haggled for prices of countless items, and neighs of pulling horses echoed out into the sky.

They quickly found a slightly obscure place which was relatively empty and sat in a corner ordering some wine and some beef.

“We should be hitting the border in about two weeks or so,” Thalia said as the waitress went back. “So far I haven’t seen anything out of the ordinary as they claim. What do you think is their game?”

“I don’t know,” Lynne shook his head. “But I’m guessing we’ll learn soon enough.”

“So, Leana,” Thalia said, smiling wryly. “You never talk about her.”

“… really?”

“Hey,” she raised her arms lightly and smiled as she spoke. “A random, beautiful girl suddenly shows up and she happens to know you? It’s an interesting tale. Oh, and she stares at you. A lot. It’s actually kind of creepy.”

“Ugh, you’ve noticed?”

“Everyone’s noticed.”

“Every time I sit down I feel her eyes on my back,” Lynne said, sighing. “I half want to hide behind you just to escape her sight.”

“So, what’s the story with you two?” Thalia asked as the waitress brought them a bottle of wine and glasses.

“Not much, really,” Lynne said, his expression somewhat distant. “We met back in Highlind. She visited the capital during summer, and we got to know each other. Later, I learned she’s kind of a terrible person, and we drifted apart.”

“So, you rejected her and she never got over it?” Thalia asked as she took a sip of wine.

“No, why?” Lynne asked.

“Well… the stares,” Thalia grunted lowly. “I mean, I’ve seen desperate women. And men. But her? She eclipses everything.”

“Ha ha, it’s not really about me,” Lynne explained. “She’s just really possessive… and selfish.”

“Possessive? Of you? I was wrong. That eclipses everything.”

“I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a sarcastic quip or self-mockery,” Lynne said, narrowing his eyes slightly. “You’re giving off very mixed signals.”

“Are you implying I’m a possessive type?” Thalia smiled, leaning forward slightly.

“No, just wondering. Wait, what type are you anyway?” Lynne asked.

“Why do I have to be a type?”

“You’re quite well-versed in the art of questioning the answers… and questions. So, you’re the evasive type. Huh. Interesting.”

“…”

“By how much did I miss?” Lynne asked, chuckling.

“I’m a free spirit,” Thalia said following the short silence as she leaned back. “Aloof and indifferent.”

“… trust me enough to let me go,” Lynne said, somewhat silently. “But trust me more to come back.”

“You know,” Thalia said, her legs tangling around his. “You’ve already won me over. You don’t have to keep pretending you’re smarter than you are.”

“Ai, how can you break my heart like that?” Lynne said, his expression downcast.

“You’re stuck with me now,” Thalia said as she inched closer to his face. “And I don’t plan on letting go.” the two kissed for a moment when they heard a soft cough as they quickly parted. The waitress smiled somewhat awkwardly as she put two plates of food on the table and walked away.

“You’re a marvel, you know that?” Lynne said as he began eating.

“How so?”

“I’ll let you know when I figure out why myself.”

“Yeah… good luck with that.”

The two ate in peace and silence as the town chattered in noises. However, within the massive crowds, dozens upon dozens figures slowly began circling towards the same place. All were hooded and wore their faces down and walked slowly. Some were tall, some rather short, some quite fat, but all had one thing in common: eyes as black as the starless night sky.